This is a painting that I did of a twin flame couple. This image of the chalice of Christ consciousness being held by the couple embodying the divine masculine and divine feminine has been in my head for almost a year. My sister is experiencing a twin flame relationship (yes, she is a powerful creator) so I wanted an image to represent that. I would add a picture of my sister but not sure if she would allow it and it is too late to call so..I am going with this.
My sister and I had a lovely conversation today. She was feeling unhappy about something that her beloved did. They are pretty new as a couple, three months or so. My sister and I were both married for 25 years with the last number of years being ones of disconnect and sorrow. So, there are plenty of old patterns and stories to release. Peggy was upset that her love had not kissed her immediately when she entered his house. He had just finished hours of shoveling snow (they are in the Chicago area which had a big blizzard) and was sweating and wet. She went to touch his hair and he backed off saying that he needed a shower. This was a double offense to her. First no kiss and then she can’t touch him! She was not feeling good. He tried to rectify the situation, when he realized her upset, with hugs and kisses but she wanted none of it. She felt sad that it seemed that she had to tell him again about how important the initial greeting was to her. She wanted this relationship to remain conscious and not slip into the old normal everyday routine interaction that she had experienced in her marriage. She did not want to be the one directing things or reminding him of things. She and I had both played those roles for so long and knew that they were not healthy. Yet she did not wish to settle for less than she desired.
She felt caught in an old pattern of getting angry yet knowing that she was tired of that way of being. The mind goes into action mode: “I will show him. I will stay away for a few days.”
It wants to figure it out. It urges immediate action. Yet there is a new way becoming clearer for us. It is the way of non-action. We can sit with our feelings, observing our mind jump through its hoops, wanting to punish the other for a perceived wrong. We know that is game playing and everyone ends up the loser. My sister was able to recognize that her relationship was amazing yet would it be amazing tomorrow? If he could already forget the greeting kiss, what would drop away next? Our mind loves to play out these what if scenerios. It does all that it can to take us out of the present moment as it knows that is where our true power lies.
By allowing some time and distance, (this can be a matter of hours to perhaps even a few breaths) an expansion can take place and something better can come to the fore. Instead of this or that, a third option can be revealed. We can use short factual statements to keep us in the present: He did not kiss me when I arrived. Period. He moved away when I tried to touch his hair. Period. We do not add judgments or perceptions. That clears the field and allows time to look around. Her love was able to tell her that he was sorry about the kiss, he had been concerned about the entryway being littered with wet towels and clothes and wanted it to look nicer for her. He had pulled away as he felt sweaty and liked to present himself to her in a state of cleanliness and order. He was definitely thinking of her in all of his actions. So the initial perception that he was taking her for granted was not true for him. His actions reflected his care for her and his desire to honor her.
We were able to laugh when I said. “It is just a little knot. There will be more little knots as you go along but you can unravel them easily.”
Peggy laughed and said, “Yes, like the magician’s string where he shakes it and all the knots just fall away.”
” Exactly! “
We had both experienced the knots turning into huge tangled balls that became bigger and bigger until it had seemed that the rope had become a hangman’s noose. We both felt that we were fortunate to escape our marriages intact.
Now we can laugh and see the little knots for what they are and even delight in them. As they are all opportunities for growth, for more closeness, for an expansion in the relationship. No need to shut down or go into the old fear mode. We can see we are right on target, moving along, creating a life that continues to be more love. Becoming more love ourselves.
Ah….the beauty and peace of this outlook. It seems strange now that we used to punish ourselves so. Now we can move to greater and greater freedom. Aren’t we so beautiful? Aren’t we so dear? Sometimes I am overwhelmed by how dear we all are. Trying so hard to be good, to do good, to express our love. I love us all and I love that my sister and I can call one another and make these shifts in perception.