Whew…..I have been flat out almost all day. The energies of this new moon have been working on me for the past few days. I have felt emotional this week, awash with tears as energies have come up to be released. This continues to be a time of release, release. release. How much more is there for me to let go of? Letting go of the judgment of it. At times, watching it flow through, other times losing that distance only to feel that I am standing under a waterfall that is intent on pounding me into the ground. Yes, the intensity when I lose that distance can be unnerving.
Yesterday I visited Muir Woods with some friends from out of state. They are all a part of the Star Nation that I met last summer at the Four Corners. Most of the folks are Native American but there are white skins, like me, who are drawn to the teachings. There is a beautiful blend of the traditions of the various Native American tribes with the knowledge from our Galactic origins. It was interesting to me the other night to hear Chief Golden Light Eagle talk about the stars in the skies and to pay attention to which stars you are drawn to as you look up at night. He said that it could give you a clue as to your starry heritage. Are you from the Pleiades, Arcturus, Orion, Venus or elsewhere? I know that I have Venetian origins as well as many others. I think that we were star travelers, enjoying visits on many of the stars.
The biggest teaching that hit home to me was something that Eagle was told by Little Deer. The teaching is that we are not to give away our hearts. When we do that, we often spend lifetimes trying to retrieve it. We are to share our hearts. Ahhh, that is something that I am
only now learning. I have given away my heart in my marriage and with my last love. Both left me feeling depleted. We have a model for that in our society, that we are to give our hearts and that the two hearts make up the whole. So if you are not with the other, you feel less than. Your sense of completion comes with the other. I felt drained from the giving, believing that was what love was. In essence, I gave away my power. My heart is my power center, my love, my protection.
I had it skewed. I thought it was a zero sum relationship. (what does that expression really mean??I do not know but it seems to fit.) When we share our hearts in love, we are free to love everyone and everything. It empowers us and makes us more whole. You can have that love for a partner but instead of draining you, the love infuses the rest of your life. As we see one another, affirm one another and love one another, our hearts’ capacity is magnified. I realize now that I am constantly being given love from the Creator. God gifts me with daily infusions of love. How wonderful is that! The more I tap into that love and share it with those around me, the more love She/He gifts me with. It is a bottomless well of love that I can drink from all day long as well as pass around to quench the thirst of others. It is my natural state of being: Love! I got mixed up on the concept of giving versus sharing in regards to my heart. I have asked her to forgive me for giving her away and to show me the ways of sharing. I will tenderly care for her as she has for me all these years.
I am moving towards that sense of wholeness in myself. That knowing that I am complete. That is the basis for a healthy partnership, where each is complete unto themselves. The coming together is then one of sharing the love and the joy. I am witnessing people around me discovering this way of relating. It is truly lovely to see. As my sister and another friend shared with me today, there are still issues that come up for resolution and healing yet each is loving those issues. Isn’t that a change! To embrace the conflict in the relationship as you do the flowing times. Each time an issue arises and is dealt with, there is more strength in the relationship. It expands each into more of themselves, their higher aspects can join the fun.
There is a greater depth and freedom for both. I am amazed and proud of those who are making this shift with such grace. I anticipate this in my life when a partner appears.
This log caught my eye in the woods. The fungus seemed to glow on the dark forest floor. I was drawn to its beauty. It expanded the space in my heart for myself as I try to find my way into my heart. The old ways are dying. Linda as I knew her, is dis- integrating. I am returning to our mother to be born anew. Yet, the process of being reclaimed into the earth, holds its own beauty and light. This fungus is transforming the log into duff to feed the next generation of trees. The light of love that is
streaming onto the planet now is transforming me into my higher self, my I AM Presence. We are integrating the Christ consciousness of unity and love. So, I looked at this log with love, feeling the disintegration in my own being as well as the sure knowing that I am being transformed into so much more! I once had an experience of this during a cranial-sacral session. I watched my body decompose on the forest floor and saw bits blow away with the wind as the remainder became duff. It was the most peaceful process.
After days of teasing and calling me Mrs. _____(Joseph’s last name), Eagle called me by my present surname which is still that of my former husband. Neither suits me, I told him. I have outgrown those lives and perhaps we have outgrown that tradition of taking the man’s name in marriage. That speaks of the old patriarchy system where a woman was the property of the male. It is time for something new. So, he now introduces me as Linda Marie. That is a name that I can resonate with as it speaks of the Mary lineage that I carry in my blood. Beautiful Mary……that works. It feels new as it was only last year that I realized the meaning of my name as part of the Mary lineage. After disliking my name for its plainness all those years, I fell in love with it. Perhaps we will all be known by our true lineage as more of ourselves be-
comes known to us.
No mistake that I visit the redwoods with Eagle. It was the place where Joseph and I played and experienced so much. Eagle truly has been here as a catalyst to my releasing my heartache. Spirit is making sure that I get this lesson of sharing my heart, not giving it away. It truly amazes me how the things that we need for our healing, show up in our lives. I am so grateful for these past few days, even though it was intense at times. I am grateful to Eagle for holding the love for Joe and for me. I am grateful for his wisdom and lessons of love. I know that it has all been for my highest good, moving me to greater awareness and capacity to love. Hallelujah!
Linda Marie,
You GET IT!!!! I feel so much Love for you. But please remember this: 'sharing' is not always asked for or understood by 'other'. I only 'share' 😉 this point with you simply because I want to spare you of more pain. But, yet, I also know that your walk is not my walk, and perhaps you are already aware of this. In my own personal awakening process (which never ends), I realized several years ago that the majority of family/friends were not interested in what I had to share from my heart. There is nothing more difficult to understand than another's refusal to accept Unconditional Love. Actually, I learned this right from the start as a toddler as I had much to share as a child, but it was dismissed/criticized/condemned. Even those, now, who are in their own awakening process and are ascending vibrationally, are not all on the 'same page'. It is a very interesting process. With Great Love for you.
Christie
Dear Christie,
I can feel that love. Thank you for radiating it! I realize that I have often been mystified when my love was not accepted, and kept giving it over and over causing myself much pain.
I love my heart that gives so openly but am learning to accept that it is not personal if another refuses my love. My heart is love, and wants to give freely. That is my desire. Another's desire may be to turn from love, I can honor that, move on and yet still hold the love for them.
I was getting stuck in continuing with the person, thinking that my desire was THE desire. Accepting everyone's path as I accept my own. Allowing each to walk their path in their own way and not pushing my way. Blessing all, including myself!
Big shift last night…..will write later.
so much love and gratitude for you,
Linda