A crow is cawing outside the window, “Wake up!, Wake up!” I awake in so many different places that it takes me a moment sometimes to realize where I am. Add to that, the fact that we are moving between dimensions so often, and it can be quite startling. I sometimes feel that I am dropped back in my body and have to reorient myself to this earth and this particular play that I find myself in. Of course, there are other aspects of me, acting on different stages so I have to check in with the script that this body is working with. Ah, so here I am.
The energies feel like this waterfall that I explored last week. Rushing, cooling, delightfully uplifting with their negative ions. I have surrendered to the flow. The grids of the earth are wavy, in flux as the energies swirl and move. I am understanding that I am to hold only to my center, to the truth of my heart. There is no other anchor. The exterior world is collapsing, changing and all are asked to let go. Letting go of our ideas of where, what, how, when. Freefalling. Aligning ourselves with joy, peace, adventure…….inner qualities rather than outer roles or landscapes.
The flow took me on a seven hour drive north to meet a friend in Hood River, Oregon. She was traveling down from Vancouver on her way east to Iowa and an ill mom and it was our intersecting point. It was a delightful drive as I integrate so much when I am driving. Maxie (my car and a true light being) was thrilled to be on the open road, spreading her seeds of peace with me. There was a space of confusion that I entered, wondering what I was doing. I sometimes experience this sense that I have lost the script and have no idea why I am doing what I am doing. Yet, the energies were flowing that way and once I grounded again, I felt happy and clear.
My father in law had passed away that morning so there was the pull south. I felt his presence, he was so conscious and happy. After 94 years in the body, he felt the joy and relief of his new form. He offered me a blessing of family healing that was so sweet. I felt peace and asked the angels to guide him to the place of his highest good. The family is honoring his passing with three days of sitting with his body in the home. I received a message that the third day would be my time to sit and pray. Today is that third day. I left Hood River after a leisurely morning with my friend where the plan evolved to meet in Sante Fe in the next fortnight to take art classes together. I will be able to renew a friendship with a woman artist who lives there. She said that she had just been thinking of me. It felt so fluid and right. My desire to create has been coming on strongly and here an opportunity is to step into it. The desert in the summer? It is not mind planning, it is flowing with the energies.
I flowed back to Portland to spend the morning
with a dear friend. She had plans for the afternoon and evening so I planned on leaving. Instead, we had a delightful few hours exploring her neighborhood. The flowers and pretty houses and shops full of colorful things were all so stimulating. I felt sated. My creativity juices were flowing with ideas of things to make. I took up her offer to stay and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening resting, reading, writing and watching a movie. She fed me, provided for my every need. So nurturing. I was in need of the time alone. I love this picture of the spider’s web. I have watched how they throw out their web into space, literally swinging out there, until the thread catches hold somewhere. I feel that the animals and insects and birds are all trying to show us the way to live. I am listening to the spider and throwing out my heart line each day and following where it leads.
So, time to pack up and make a ten hour drive to take my turn at sitting with Dad’s body and offering my prayers for him and all souls who have recently departed. On the surface, it seems I am a bit nuts, driving here and there. Yet, my heart line is pure and true and there is no right and wrong. There is only following the energies with trust and joy. I have felt a renewed sense of that joy and wonder at this play that I am in. I so love my part! I move, I land, I move out again. I spread my seeds of peace and love and the simplicity of that brings the tears.
There is another stream heading north to the San Juan Islands. I feel someone waiting for me there on the end of a thread. I do not have to plan, only follow as the streams awaken in me. I move this morning with my heart full of gratitude for the gift of this friend who has cared for me in the same way that I hosted others (back when I had a home), for the gift of Dad’s love in my life when my own dad had disowned me, for the art awaiting me, for the abundance that allows this movement with ease, for the web of life that awes me with its intertwining and shimmering beauty. I am so full of wonder.