The sunlight streamed a path to my feet!
Today dawned sunny and calm. I successfully found my way to the bluffs and took a long barefoot walk along the sea. It was so nourishing. I felt free and at peace. The earth fed me and I, her through the soles of my feet. Then the head pressure came back, my body asked for food and it was time to head back. I was grateful for the moments of beauty. I checked in as to whether I had the energy to fix food for myself or needed to stop and buy a sandwich. The idea of a store or restaurant felt daunting so I came back to my room and made a spinach, kale and romaine salad with a hard boiled egg and some tuna on top. I looked out at the bench by the cliff, sunlight shining. No, too far to go, better here in the shelter of the house. I ate with the sea and the tree before me. Then into the womb of bed for rest, my legs tired from their climb.
Dusk falls, tucked on the couch with a comforter and hot water bottle, tea and a
Following the curve to see where it leads.
handful of chocolate cookies at hand, I am drawn inward, wanting only the refuge of warmth and stillness. I am such a tender creature. I am reading a novel I picked up at the thrift store yesterday (Thursday special, 2 books for the price of one) about grief. The story is of a young woman of 36 who loses her husband of three years to Hodgins disease. It is making me laugh and she describes the desire to sleep, to eat cookies till you are ill, to turn from all responsibilities and decisions, to snuggle into the old sweaters of her husband for their warmth. I feel this too. I am such a tender creature. Life as I knew it, disappeared years ago. I have been floating in this in between misty world for so long. My gut tells me that we never expected to have to endure this holding pattern. It was thought that we would go…move on and be there on the other side to greet those arriving. I am good at hospitality, of sensing what others need, I trained for it in my dreamtime. Yet, here we remain, logged into this dimensional frequency while more and more awaken from the dream. Yes, that was our desire but we did not count the cost. The old ways feel so heavy, the body feels slow and dense, the sensory pleasures fleeting. I know that my palms hold magik…yes the K is there as it is the ancient kind. I could hold up my palm and create what I desired. Think it with my heart and stream it out into form. Now I have to fortify myself for the challenge of going into a store, purchasing what I need, make sure the $ are there to allow the purchase. I have to find a place that I can house my body, that allows for my frequency to move freely. Tasks that feel cumbersome, and at the very edge of my abilities. I once organized with ease in this outer world, now those abilities seem outside my ken. I am a babe in the woods, needing shelter and comfort. All efforts feel Herculian in scope and yet here I am.
Sunset through the trees.
Surrendered. Stripped down to bare essence. I AM.
There is no making sense of it, as a friend reminded me. There is only this moment and then the next. I am to move, pack the car and drive off. Destination not clear. Trusting the pathway to appear.
I hold a rock in my hand, smooth with markings that I sense I can read if I rub it long enough. I light candles, spray rose spray about and live in the small beauties. The night closes in early and spirits gather in the shadows. I am here, open to them all. Breathing in the love, breathing out the love. There is only this love.
I am new to your blog, Linda Marie … I came across it just a couple weeks ago and pinned it. I especially have enjoyed your current posts, sensing and sharing your journey and understanding so well, in my own experience of course, ..a similarity of experience. I enjoyed reading your old posts as well, because they help so much to reveal the “story of you” 🙂 Things are moving quickly…in your life, mine and so many others. The clouds are shifting; the sky is moving; and our perceptions are as well… I wish you well sister…as you explore the countryside and compare that to the inner journey you are experiencing! I prophecy: you shall find all you are looking for within and without, if it is needed. You shall find all you thought you had lost, and then some…. but truly so shall we all! Blessings! I look forward to following your journey, which is my own, which is that of so many of us…all One! The deep awareness and appreciation of our Presence and our connection is worth more than anything we desire or could wish for in this world. So odd and paridocsical that as we get so much closer to our goal, truly the fulfillment of all we have longed for ….. that we simply no longer have much desire for anything of this world. And without any effort on our parts! Is it not miraculous! And yet …. suddenly everything and everyone in this world, no matter how we might have formerly judged them…is now beautiful and precious and we are moved to tears with joy to share the feeling and perceptions of our God Presence of this world. It is so awesome! Ohhh…to trust in love again…to trust in Love again. “Love” with a capital “L” is my name for that personal Presence for me. It is so good to finally be able to set aside the disappointment and sense of betrayal and simply trust again. To rest … without frustration, without anger, without …! To trust Love once again to provide all that we need or could ever desire. Yet we have to get to that point of no longer desiring. All attempts to force that on ourselves were unsuccessful. Now it is so easy… It is given to us freely and without cost by Love! Namaste~
Dear Robert,
Thank you for sharing, our hearts have walked a similiar path, indeed! I so resonate with how we no longer have desires for anything of this world and yet, everything is so precious! Yes, that is it.
Trusting love, opening over and over to the wonder. I was lying here today, thinking of the few loves in my life and so appreciating how each helped me to expand my heart’s capacity for love.
The trick now is walking in the lovelight so fully and allowing it to house me, shelter me, nourish me. It is a time of wonder and I so appreciate your prophecy of what is to come. My knowing us deep that it is beyond any of our imaginings. That is where I want to live, in a frequency I know that is not quite landed. In a twinkling of an eye, all can shift. I am ready.
So nice to meet you, Robert. I look forward to more sharing if our hearts.
Heartlight streaming golden pink strands to you,
Linda
Simply love the photo of just your feet and the sea! I embrace you with delightful Love. If you come this way you are welcome.
Thank you, sea goddess! I love to rest in your cloud if a bed and your sweet love. We shall see where I land next! I have not a clue.
Dear Linda,
Your words flow freely and touch my heart, it is like a breath of fresh air, thank you love.
On days like today when I felt most unsettled when I woke it is an effort to think of even having a shower, the thought of doing my housework, going to the shops etc is a bit to much, yet like you here I am and on I go.
This was never ever known we would still be living like this, I have so wanted to go too like many others.
The grief with Mum and other things is more than I can bear at times, I asked for extra help this morning.
I had a flash of insight that I am still living these old ways but they are not working now like they once did, I don’t know what else to do except like you to surrender to the new, more fully now it seems.
Much love, Maggie
Dear Maggie,
You are able for this. Surrender is all that is left as we throw ourselves on the bosom of our Mother/Father’s heart. Nothing of the old ways remain, there is only this opening. We have each other for support as we slip and slide our way forward.
Ribbons of coral-pink love flowing to you to catch ahold,
Linda
Thank you Linda love.
I just realized I saw this coral pink energy, I didn’t know what it was at the time.
Big hugs and love.
Oh! It worked, yeah! Thank you for the confirmation.
I love you,
Linda