Bone Weary

Lake where we took our first canoe outing recently. Saw loons swimming and diving. They can stay underwater for a long time!

Lake where we took our first canoe outing recently. Saw loons swimming and diving. They can stay underwater for a long time!

This morning I awoke with a lightness of being. I felt freedom flooding in my cells, it felt wonderful! It felt as if some significant phase of work, completed. Thank goodness. My daughter felt it too and we moved in a new ease filled rhythm all day. I did my back exercise video for the first time in awhile, I finished sewing a dress for my daughter-in-love, for her first Mother’s Day. I took a walk through the woods and gathered paper birch bark strewn on the ground to use to write letters to folk special to me. I visited a house at the top of the hill whose owners live in Cape Cod, making use of the house only a few weeks of the year. I picked a beautiful bouquet of daffodils there. Most were bent over by the wind and asking to be picked to be seen and appreciated. I did just that, putting them in a vase on my table where they lit up the room.  There were a couple of varieties new to me, peachy pink and ones with a vibrant orange center. Lovely.

IMG_9015Tonight, I find myself exhausted. Heat surges off and on, head intensity and an effort to get up off the couch to use the bathroom and refill my water glass. My body feels leaden. The fire burning is a source of comfort. I marvel that I am still standing (make that lying down!) on this earth. These are moments when I feel the weight of far more than my sixty-five calendar years. I feel ancient and bone weary of this experiment.

Yet, this morning, there was a shift. I know in my bones that a new day is dawning and that I remain to live it fully. I am so grateful for all who have contributed to this shift, who have continued to stand in this pressurized state for eons of time. Deep bow to us all.

 

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