That evening we went to the Zen center where our weekend workshop with the calligraphy master awaited. The first night there was a meditation session followed by our practice session with the strokes. The teacher was a master in the way he presented the workshop. The first night was focused on practicing two strokes. It was interesting to witness the feelings of frustration that came up in the group. The master was so still, so calm. He demonstrated the strokes and then he had us come up one by one to sit at his place at the table. He stood behind us and held our hand and moved it through the character. That way we were able to feel the movement of the stroke. I could have used a hundred hand holdings to get the muscle memory but we were gifted with about six opportunities over the weekend.

I watched many emotions surface in the zen atmosphere. I rebelled against the silent meals, the gongs and rules. It felt so old to me, I have had so many lifetimes as a contemplative. The dark clothes, the subdued atmosphere did not fit me any longer. Instead of joining everyone in the zendo for meditation with all the bowing and rituals, I laid on a bench outside and delighted in the leaves dancing with the breeze. I faded in and out and that is the type of meditation that works for me. We are at a time where we each have to find what resonates with our hearts. I faced admonishment by a couple of the young residents who are so full of zeal for their path. I was told that I was disrespectful for not joining in the zendo time yet I did join in with the peace of the land. I found myself laughing at their admonishments yet when we were given an hour for meal time, in their hurry to complete their task, the food was whisked from the table as soon as the last person filled their plate. My idea of taking a little bit to taste first and returning for the food that I enjoyed, did not work. It was gone. Within 15 minutes, the plates were cleared from the tables and your hour meal was finished. A resident came by and asked a friend and I to lift our tea cups so that she could wipe the table under the cups. That felt disrespectful to me and funny as there are signs around about sipping your tea slowly with reverence. There seemed to me to be many examples of how the rules ruled and the atmosphere that was intended was lost. The grace of caring for guests and making all feel welcome, did not exist. There were locks on all the doors to the buildings that you needed a key code to open. Yet I had taken the camping option rather than paying the higher price for a shared room. I was shown to a area behind the compound that sloped down to what was once a river bed. There was a public path that ran along the river bed. This area belonged to the zen center but there were no signs delinating the property. There were no level places to pitch a tent and I had to clear rocks and broken bottles to pitch my tent. I was the only one camping and I listened to men walking along the path outside my tent door as I lay there in my sleeping bag. Not a safe environment and truly the worst camping site I had ever stayed at. So… the center was very lax in safety for their guests in that department yet locks on the other buildings. I found it all so interesting. It showed me what I do not wish to create in a community. The residents were more concerned with their rules and an attendant superiority attitude than with offering kindness. Kindness is the first rule if there are to be any. I believe that folks of a similar vibration can live together in peace without rules. If each takes care of themselves and wants to offer caring to one another. It can be so simple and joy filled. The joy was missing here. I called a friend to check in what was going on in the bigger picture as to why I was there. I delighted in time with the calligraphy master, he had a sense of humor that was fun. But the other part of the time, was not of interest to me. In fact, I wanted to bolt. She saw the calligraphy master standing in front of me, representing the masculine. He was offering me acknowledgment of the role I had played carrying the divine feminine in many of these places of old. This was when the feminine was rejected. He came to ask forgiveness of me. I granted it and he then wrote with golden ink on my forehead. The old signs were being turned into the Christ codes which are flooding the planet. He wrote them on my forehead, my throat chakra, my heart. I felt the golden light and thanked him for this gift. As I wrote with my brush the remainder of the weekend, I felt a lightness, a joy. I was anchoring in the Christ codes through the symbols. I closed my eyes and allowed my brush to make whatever symbols came through it. Afterwards, one woman who was not seated at my table, came up to me and thanked me for my joy. She said, “You looked so joyful and I was feeling so frustrated. Thank you for helping me.” I loved that acknowledgment of how our actions can have a bigger impact than we know. She saw my joy across the room and it helped her to find hers. I love how we can help one another by being true to ourselves!

I allowed myself to talk and connect with those who I felt a connection with.Met a beautiful woman from New Zealand who has here on holiday, traveling about in her car. Her story was amazing. Channeled AA Micheal to a young man who may end up in community with me. He had been seeking, left his job, took the leap of faith. His story of then being blessed with a big tax return and another source of money that he had not expected were affirming of how the universe will take care of us if we trust it to. I was gifted with two shooting stars when my bladder led me out of my tent in the wee hours of the night. I heard the coyotes and dogs howl. I am happier sleeping on the ground. Mother earth anchors me more deeply that way. I love our mother!