Grouchiness

IMG_9010Irritability, nausea, head pressure, dizziness make for a grouchy gal! My, that light flowing in is doing some excavating. It is almost 6 am and I have been awake most of the night. Intense dreams filled time asleep. Now I am sitting by the fire, watching a glowing red orb peek over the distant hills. The sky is muted purple and pinks, giving light to a soft blue. The birds are singing the sun up and I am grateful to be a witness to its rising.

IMG_8996We are on the cusp of a huge transition as a collective. We are purging the old energies of pain and despair. It can feel uncomfortable. I remind myself that it is a pattern of change that suddenly what was once tolerable, is no longer. Little things irritate beyond reason, patience is stretched thin, my entire emotional field feels fried. I feel as worn as an old piece of silk that has seen decades of wear. Any frequency that is not crystal clear, feels like an assault. Old ways of interacting leave me exhausted.

Thank goodness for nature and the walks that invite me out my door. I can regain my equilibrium and find peace. Two tiny violas have blossomed as the recent snow melted, lifting their yellow gladness to all. Two fiddlehead ferns thrust themselves above the snow to be seen and marveled over. The trees have buds that are swelling with green that I can almost sip. Some buds are white and look like tiny candle flames alight on a Christmas tree.

IMG_8996My living arrangement is soon to change and I feel it reverberate on the inner and outer world. It is personal to me, yet reflects what we are all about to step into. Newness on levels we cannot comprehend. All we can do, is show up. Whether in our grumpiness, our joy, our sorrow….all of it is called out. We are asked to get clear about who we are and what we desire. Only then can we live in peace. Not the peace that we have known, rather sovereign peace where we stand each moment in truth, each breath conscious as it flows out and draws in. May we be gentle with ourselves and one another as we walk these days. We will look back and know what strength it took and be glad of our hearts so pure.

Ah, here she comes! The sun cresting the hillside. Blazing her light on one and all. We are blessed.

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