Snow folks that my granddaughter and her mom made on the back steps.

There had been a disagreement brewing with one dear to me. My heart was sore with the feelings of anger and resentment. I ended a call quickly, not sure how to continue. How to maintain a boundary and yet be the love? I breathed in and felt a loosening. I expanded it and allowed the love that is true to flow through me. I wanted an apology, an acknowledgement of wrong doing. It was not to come. How to sit with that? All of this was mine to do. I could continue to feel the emotions like a weight on my shoulders or ? Again, the knowing that this was mine to do. It was not dependent on the actions of another. I realized that it is not my  job to ensure that someone “gets it”. I am not responsible for the way that others walk this life. I do not have to teach them a lesson. I do not have to make them understand. I am responsible for myself and how I walk my love in this world. Amazing to think that I know what is best for anyone. How long have I carried this sense of responsibility? Too long. It is time to let it go.

I had a choice. I sat and allowed the lovelight to infill that area of pain. It slowly began to warm that part of my heart with its glow. Deep sigh. I picked up the phone and made the call expressing only love. There remains differing views of the situations. It matters not. I can choose my boundaries, choose what feels lighter, express my truth and then let it go.

Later, a dear friend called and expressed that she had struggled with the same emotions that morning. We were able to laugh and feel the lightness as we moved through the heavyheartedness. We acknowledged that we are getting better at this. We feel it all and let it be present until it washes away like a wave.

In the afternoon, a wave of loneliness came over me. I took myself out for a walk, intending to go to a nearby woods. I saw that the trails were closed due to deer hunting season. Ah….I had forgotten that. My bright orange vest was back home, it is an essential part of the wardrobe during hunting season to make sure that you are seen. I ended up on a different walk about the common, taking in the views. The sky was alive with patterned clouds as it decided whether to drop snow or rain.

I love the sweet face that he made on this little being.

I went home and cleaned out my pantry, finally putting away groceries that had been sitting there awaiting space. I emptied my cupboards and ended up with a box of give away dishes and implements. It felt good, clearing in the physical can often clear our heads. I then settled into making more fairy wands to sell at my first craft fair this coming weekend. I imagined the children dancing with them and laughing. My grandson made two and zoomed around flying them up and down. He is so creative, I love seeing what he comes up with. I am grateful for the time with my two little ones. They keep me laughing and experiencing joy. May we all have that child inside, lit up. Cherish yourself as we cherish one another.