One of the pleasures of summer is a daily swim at one of the local lakes. I was at one yesterday and an acquaintance came by and we swam together. We were chatting away in the water when we noticed a loon quite close. I am always surprised by how big they are and the way they dive underwater and can stay down so long. You see them dive then minutes later, watch them pop up in a place quite a distance away from where they dove. This loon was maybe ten feet in front of us and it began to lift itself out of the water and flap its wings wildly. Another loon popped up a couple of feet from the first one and joined in the dance. It was truly magical. My friend and I were silenced by the beauty of what we were witnessing. Two loons dancing on the water……they left us giggling as we shared in their joy.
Not much sleep last night…part of this life. Our sun is gifting us with amazing energies for our evolution……this is truth for me. Yet the sleeplessness, the fatigue, the heaviness of the energies can be debilitating. My natural enthusiasm takes a nosedive. I can feel lost, an acute aloneness that is not alleviated by the dear family that surrounds me. I feel the desire to desire to create. The energy darts to and fro….a wave lifts me and suddenly a pair of pants is hemmed. Then I am dropped in the trough and can only lie on my couch with a fan and listen to a book on tape to take me away. Even reading can be challenging as my eyes feel blurry and strained. At times, I am immobolized by the quick shifts in energy….a dozen ideas of what next surface, only to leave me idling at a standstill. Motor running but going nowhere.
Usually that is a sign of fatigue. There is not enough energy to propel me forward. There are lovely places to go in this state of Vermont. I have visited very little of it. The past few years have been family focused. Now I am desiring someone to play with and go on adventures with. Someone who will do the planning and driving! I find myself copying out descriptions of pretty spots that I would like to visit. Facebook does provide the visuals of so many beautiful places on the earth. So, I am an armchair or couch traveler. Feeling the desire to experience more beauty but no energy to move myself there.
My clothes are hung on the line, the leaves on the sycamore trees that anchor the backyard are quivering in the gentle breeze. It is hot already. Soon, I will get myself into my bathing suit and drive to the nearest lake for a swim. The thought of the cool water and the way it holds me, is a lure that usually pulls me out of my space and into my car. Fortunately the drive is only five or ten minutes, depending on which lake I choose. So doable.
Yesterday evening as a friend and I were leaving our writing group gathering, we pulled over and got out to take in this view. It was a spectacular moment, much like the loons dancing. The rays were streaming down across such a wide swath of land, we felt immersed in a heavenly light.
There it is, days of bringing heaven to earth. We live the magic and the mundane and infuse it all with love. Even if my heart feels lost, I know that I am still transmitting a beacon of lovelight into the world.