Another frigid day ahead though the temperatures climb above zero at some point today. The wind chill keeps the temperatures well below. This morning I feel like a bear that wants only to sleep until spring calls me forth. It is a harsh climate with its months and months of grey skies and freezing temperatures. Going to start my car is something that requires at least fifteen minutes of lead time, depending on the amount of snow and whether there is a layer of ice underneath. Blocks of dirty ice and mud build up in the wheel wells and the car groans as it tries to move carrying them. At times, you can dislodge them with a kick or two, which can hurt! If the blocks of ice drop off, they have to be driven over as you back up. At times, you have to get out and get a shovel to pick them up and move them as they are too big to navigate. Ugh…..it is tough.

Why do humans live in such frigid places? My daughter in love grew up here and started the family migration due to her dad’s health concerns. None of us, intended to live in this cold. Yet, life moves us for a variety of reasons. I am ready for a new migration to a softer climate. I trust there was a reason, indeed I was given a vision of our family here and the work that we have done together. Now that feels complete. It feels as if we are in a holding pattern. No clear pathway ahead to begin the take off. Instead, we idle on the ground doing our best to appreciate the beauty that can always be found.

The sun is rising and this is my time to get out and embrace its light. My body wants to sit and savor a cup of coffee first. I feel like my joints need greasing to get up and begin the process of putting on all the heavy layers of clothing and boots needed. I so admire my youngest grandchild, at one years old, with the diaper and wool layers and snowsuit and tiny boots, she manages to run and play in the snow. She loves it. She will go get her boots and point outside with loud exclamations until you get up and get you both dressed to head out into it all. These days the time getting dressed is about equal to the amount of time you can stay outside with her. Frostbite is real.

Yet, the snow covering the landscape is beautiful. When the sun shines and sparkles fill the surfaces, it feels like fairy land. When it is overcast, the monotone color scheme of the landscape flattens my spirit. I crave color. In California, where I raised the kids, flowers are blooming and the breeze is soft not biting.

Knitting, baking, writing, sketching, crafting, reading, watching movies……these all fill my days and bring a measure of pleasure. Grandchildren with their laughter and affection, keep me upright. For them, I stay here. For them, I bundle up to sled down the hill behind the house and build snow forts and take walks to the local general store for treats. For them, I get out the craft supplies and hold tea parties and dress up in costumes. For them, I hold the vision of a gentler world in every way. One filled with peace, harmony and love. One where suffering and lack are a thing of the past. Realities which I pray that they will not know in their lives.

A tiny chickadee fluffs its feathers and flits about the suet I put out, keeping its tiny body alive. Time for me to fluff my feathers, add some layers, and get outside to greet the sun that is streaming forth. May its light bathe us all in love.