(turmeric on the pot from when the peas boiled up, not a dirty pot!)
Wow, I just dropped down into a space of nothingness. Do you have those times when you chose to retreat from the world? I have little daily connection as it is but even that felt like too much. I did not want to talk to anyone. I had had a couple of nights of little sleep followed by a couple of nights of very intense dreams. The dreams were ones that lingered. I knew their message of letting go, moving on. Yet the sadness or weight of them moving through me, was difficult. I was not able to stay in observer mode but felt taken down by the energies. I did not shower or dress. I stayed in bed mode, in my sweats and comfy clothes. I had thought that I needed a nap as I could envision things that I wanted to do, yet had no energy to do them. After the long, lingering nap I still had no energy to move with. I knew intellectually that a walk might help or putting on some music and dancing. Yet none of it seemed possible. I watched a movie on my computer…then another one to round out the day. I ate chocolate and simply gave in to the shut down that I felt. The day ended in tears of frustration. I felt so tired of things seeming to stand still. When would my life begin? I know it is here right now but it felt so long since I had had a sense of purpose and a vision. I could not feel my angels or guides, I felt alone and sad. I said, “Beam me up, I want to return to the land of love. This feels too painful.” I could see that these thoughts weren’t truth but could not get out from under them.
Monthly Archives: January 2011
Free ourselves from the matrix through our hearts
I awoke with the words: “You are in the matrix but can free yourself through your heart. Remember this!”
Riding the wave to a new perspective
I love this spiral painting. My son, Gabriel did this during his year in Spain. He gave it away to some fortunate friend. Wish that it had been me!
The love vibration
We are beginning to live in the “love vibration”. It is such a beautiful place to be! My sister called me this morning to tell me that she was craving a cigarette. She had given up smoking a couple of weeks ago and had been doing fine. Well, she had definitely felt emotional and extra sensitive. Today though, she was feeling pretty agitated. As we talked, it came to light that she had had a difficult encounter with the rental agent for her apartment complex. She has to decide whether or not to renew her lease in two months. The woman was very inflexible and curt. My sister’s aha moment came as she described the woman’s behavior. She realized that what had upset her so much was not the content of the conversation but the vibration. The woman was not coming from a space of love! As we exist more and more in this space of love and it informs all of our interactions with our dear ones, it is shocking to encounter the old vibration.
Longed for community
Yesterday the energies were shifting and changing. I could feel the electricity around me. A new male friend called me and said, “Good morning, Sunshine!” That started the day off beautifully! I have had little contact with male energy other than my sons for a long time. It made me realize that I need it in my life. It is time to open myself to this. So… first shift.
Old energetic patterns releasing
Today I was surprised to find old energetic patterns of victimhood flooding through me. I was watching myself, knowing that it was not my truth any longer yet it felt so real. I had to remind myself to not attach but rather to let it all move on through.
Another veil falls away…the illusion of suffering
As we expand our consciousness, the veils of illusion continue to fall away. It is amazing how we have been programmed to think the thoughts that continue to imprison us. Ah… a crafty plot! But as we breathe deeply and enter into our heart space, we begin to breathe the air of freedom. Heady stuff as we are meant to live and breathe this air.
Love your life and watch the transformation
I read a channeling that really resonated with my heart. It is from the Messages from God through Yael and Doug Powell at Circle of Light. Here is the quote:
Transforming Resistance
1-17-11