Rawness

Ice breaking with its rawness.

Ice breaking with its rawness.

Rawness, that feeling after a sunburn when every move feels painful. Your skin stretched and achy. The filters are off, life is more fully present. The heart has no filter, it all enters  and resounds, whether perceived as joy or despair, it flashes through with intensity. The mastery is in letting it flow through. Suffering comes when we try to stop the emotions by making a story about them or owning them as the truth of ourselves.

We will feel it. All of it. Things long buried within our cells, hidden in family lineages, covered up by our governments, distorted in our history books. All is coming to be seen and felt. We can choose to open to it, to allow the information to flow in and out. We can see the gift in all of this wonderful energy. It allows us to experience life in a front row seat rather than from the back of the auditorium. The love lights us up like never before as we feel it more fully. The despair can take you to your knees as it moves through. Let it. Let it all be. We are strong enough for this. We came for this time.

Trust is the byword. Trusting to self. Trusting to all aspects of ourselves. Trusting to the Creator and a benevolent universe. Trusting to the wondrous future we are creating for ourselves and our children and grandchildren and generations to come.

Mother Mary raising her arms over the port, blessing the sailors as they entered and departed. She stands on the oldest cathedral here in Montreal. I love the circle of stars above her head.

Mother Mary raising her arms over the port, blessing the sailors as they entered and departed. She stands on the oldest cathedral here in Montreal. I love the circle of stars above her head.

All part of being in the now. I realized how far I have moved into the now. Time is disappearing. We are being shown that we can expand or collapse it with our intentions. I am not a big planner as I am no longer able to look at life that way. I feel my way forward. I may feel an energy event, someplace or time where I am to “hit my mark”. I will be given the visual or sense of something…a meeting with someone or an action I am to take or a timeline that I am to align with or a place I am to be. I may have to get on a plane, drive somewhere, call someone. This extends to my family as I feel their future and can see the choice points in technicolor. I speak my truth about these points, which they have come to know me for. At times, they have reacted in anger to my knowing. Many times, they have then thanked me as they discovered more of themselves through aligning with their truth. As a mother, I have carried that immaculate concept for each of them and it carries a knowing of their truth.

As this reality we have come to know, collapses, we will be called to align more fully with our truth. To feel our way forward without the usual signposts. We will have to rely on our internal gps. Our hearts are losing their filters so as to be clear beacons, calling our highest future to us. It is so much more than we dreamed!

IMG_4638In this now, the seeds are present. We nurture them with love and attention. We love all that we no longer resonate with, all that has kept us playing small, by feeling all of our feelings fully. Letting sadness, despair, depression, loneliness have their say. Dancing out our anger, singing out our joy. Right now the birds are singing to the dawn of a new day. I feel my heart singing with them in gratitude. May your day be full of wonder.

Honoring Our Truth

Luminous light on my walk

Luminous light on my walk

Sitting at my table, looking out at a sea of white…..snow and ice. The sky echoes the whiteness of the ground. I am on the fourth floor of an old hotel that has been converted into studios. The buildings form three sides with a courtyard in the middle and an opening to one of the main squares of Old Montreal. I love being able to watch activity outside as I sit in stillness inside. The plows have been working since the wee hours, clearing the night’s snowfall. Now young men are completing the job with picks and shovels to get at the layer of ice below the snow. It can be treacherous walking as that layer of ice can send you flying in a moment. I do a lot of walking of my grandson in his stroller. It is the way we get him to turn off and take a nap so I log at least an hour or more a day of lovely walks.  I have laughed at times, feeling that the stroller is my walker and I am hanging on for dear life as it has kept me erect over the slick ice spots.

Shadow dancing

Shadow dancing

January did not feel like the beginning of the new, rather a continuation of the old with so much clearing. Here it is February and there is a pause. My sense has been that movement begins in March. During a sleepless full moon/eclipse night, I was prompted to book my ticket back to California. March 14th, my day of movement. I watch how my family of five is moving on the chess board of this life. My daughter and grand baby and hubby here in Montreal. The wee one and I are doing sound work that moves deep into the earth and ancient energies held there. He is a sound master, full of chirps and trills and the ability to OM and AH long past mine. We are a good team. We giggle and play and send the joy flying. The completion of this work will free their family to head west as the autumn begins. My sons will arrive in Vermont, a couple of hours south of my daughter, living and loving with their beloveds as I exchange places and fly west. So many synchronicities have appeared to facilitate all of this. We watch as one thing after another lines up in perfect order. I am sensing all of us meeting in the West as the leaves turn. We shall see but my heart feels the love pods forming in the physical then.

IMG_4811Honoring our truth..that is the theme I feel. Supporting one another to walk our truth into the world. So many of us have been hermits these past years as we anchored in the grids of light and cleared the fields. Now, we are being called into the world. I have seen amazing timeline shifts as new possibilities unfold that had never been available prior to this time. I do not know how I will show up in the world but I do know my days spent mostly alone, have ended.

This year has been about family, my days now filled to the brim with my one year old grandson. He and I play and laugh and love. He teaches me so much about moving with the energies, expressing all in the moment, engaging with the wonder of life. I am so grateful that this is how my life has unfolded.

The gateway is narrow and fraught with danger. Courage and strength required to pass into the flame of true love.

The gateway is narrow and fraught with danger. Courage and strength required to pass into the flame of true love.

I am holding space and witnessing a beloved union come into being for my elder son. He is a buddha, and has walked his path in solitude and grace for many years since his instantaneous awakening. My younger son’s marriage ( a beautiful divine partnership) set the scene and allowed these two hearts to meet. Now my elder son is walking a new timeline where marriage and children are a possibility when it had never been in the cards before. Oh, the joy! Truly, more than we ever imagined is awaiting us all as we live our truth.

He and his love are anchoring in the beloved flame for us all. Healing the wounding of the feminine by his masculine presence and being healed in turn. They are both courageous hearts to walk this path as it is not for the faint of heart. The love flame consumes all and forges anew. They are assisting in bringing in the deeper, truer love that is our birthright. Romance is a flimsy veil that reveals the wonder held deep inside. We are here to love in a way that has not been for eons of time and in truth, is more than we have ever experienced here. The possibility is to go beyond our past and live in the heartbeat of the Creator.

A lock on a bridge proclaiming this love.

A lock on a bridge proclaiming this love.

I am grateful to be at the feet of a master in the field of play and living in the moment. I am grateful for new abilities coming online that allow me to assist others in finding that pathway to truth. I am grateful for the beauty that surrounds me. I am grateful for the crystalline energies of the snow and ice that I can spin and dance with as our bodies resonate to this new form. I am grateful to all the beings who have offered their love to this planet and her people to clear the fields enough for this love to anchor in. I am grateful to myself for surrendering my life to my expanded self and allowing her to move me in the moments. I am grateful for the love that awaits us all.