Monthly Archives: May 2018

Disconnection From Those Closest To Our Hearts

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The contrast of the beauty against the rough is alive in me.

The contrast of the beauty against the rough is alive in me.

A couple of weeks ago, I read an article talking about a purging that was happening. It stated that we would find ourselves having to disconnect from those closest to us…mates, children, parents, siblings or friends. The article stated that we had to disconnect from all the old ways of relating in order to free ourselves to move on in our sovereign state. It mentioned that we would likely reconnect in a new frequency in June.

https://ascensionenergies.com/2018/05/11/letting-go-of-all-close-connections-huge-purging/

The old and new present as we weave ourselves into our divinity.

The old and new present as we weave ourselves into our divinity.

I had noticed some of this in my life but now I am experiencing it on a whole new level. A couple of sleepless nights have happened as I process all that has come up. Transparency is the order of the day. I am being shown where I have been in judgment of others, where I have carried a protective energy for others, where I have held space and where I have given too much as well as desired to control others. Whew!

The wondrous thing about it all is how none of it has floored me as might have been the case in the past. I could look at each relationship and sift through the layers as to where my actions came from. It was enlightening. There was grief lining the pockets of much of it. A huge letting go and surrendering to trust once again. Allowing what needs to fall away and open to what will come.

IMG_0693There were moments when all I could think of was getting in my car and driving far, far away from anyone that I knew. To be in total solitude in the peaceful arms of nature. Those moments were offset by ones where I felt such immense gratitude for my life and the richness present. I ping ponged between these two states for a time.

Now I sense that I have emerged from the tunnel of confusion. I have cut all cords to those dearest to my heart. I have taken an energetic step back and breathed out a deep sigh. I have let go of any expectations of how it might look in the future. I dissolved my long held dream of community and love pod into a mist. Let it all reform. Let the new emerge in an organic way.

On my walk, I came around a corner and almost collided with this deer. We both paused in a moment of connection.

On my walk, I came around a corner and almost collided with this deer. We both paused in a moment of connection.

I am showing up yet with a new stance. I am present with a looseness that is spacious and freeing, for myself and all others who dance within my sphere. I am feeling that ability to love everything that touches my life with a fulsome heart. I had thought that I was there yet this recent disconnection illuminated for me the many strands that I was continuing to hold in place.

Ah…how dear we are as we let go of so many programs and ways of interacting with one another, with ourselves. We are the tenderest of beings, so desirous of doing good, of being of assistance. We have been programmed in a million ways that kept us limited. How grateful I am to take a breath in this new space, knowing that each shift finds more oxygenated air to breathe, wider arenas to play in. Invoking grace for us all as we make this movement.

Spring is Singing Its Joy

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A rope swing in the redwoods, awaiting summer swims.

A rope swing in the redwoods, awaiting summer swims.

It has been months since I felt inspired to write. Long dark days spent in a land of ice and snow, keeping a flame alive within. Now I have returned to California which truly lives up to the reputation of my childhood dreams. I grew up in the Northeast where seasons were to be taken seriously, in all their harshness as well as their shimmering beauty. In high school, California held a dream that many aspired to. I always felt that it would be dreamed up, so it was not on my radar as a goal. Yet, I landed here decades ago and return like a bird to its nesting place. Indeed it is where I raised my three children and now I am back with my eldest and her wee one, savoring the Spring freshness and beauty. She and her child were born here and have returned to dig deep into the land.

My spiritual home is a place in West Australia, a vast land of eucalyptus and red soil, wild coastlines and a humming song that comes singing out of the land. I have not been back in more than a decade. Its beat continues to inform my heart and its song plays inside my being. One day, the timing will be right and I will land in with both feet. For now, I sing the songs of the earth as she makes her great evolutionary leap into newness. There are new notes of joy bursting forth that carry such harmonies of love.

A bamboo teepee planted with pole beans for our little one to enjoy.

A bamboo teepee planted with pole beans for our little one to enjoy.

We are witnessing the notes become physical as our bodies grow in lovelight. It has been a rough and wild ride these past months as the physical increases in density and movement is felt as if quicksand is sucking at our ankles with each step. Whew. The worst of it is behind us as we step lighter in the frequencies that flow to free us. We are moving into the ever present moment as old ways die out. A thought will arise….”Tomorrow I will get up early and exercise”….and just as quickly it sinks down into a well, not to be heard of again. It seems so much is a shadow of old thinking, old patterning that is falling away, an echo of former ways of moving in this world. There is no longer personal will power, it has been turned over to our higher aspects who view all from a broader perspective. I find myself flowing in the present, a sea of now and now and again, now. There is this scent of jasmine, the colors of green outside, the earth I dig in as I weed and plant our garden, the giggles of my toddler grandson as he brings his imaginary world to light. We swim in the saltwater pool, tumble on the grass and crawl along like earwigs as he chases me to pinch me. My daughter loves to cook nourishing meals, I love to create flower bouquets for all the rooms in the house. It feels like a dream that I move in, slow and sweet. We nap, we snack, we play, we sing, we read. Then we do it all again, each day, each moment new and fresh like his open face looking up at me with such expectation of love. He knows only a world of love and lives it, teaching us all what truly matters.

A recent trip to the coast to swim in its beauty.

A recent trip to the coast to swim in its beauty.

I am grateful for this dream time, for the play and laughter. There were so many years of harshness, doing my work, struggling alone. Now we are at a time where we will begin to create with our hearts. Where all that we desire, can come with ease. The weariness drops from my shoulders as I rest in the knowing that all is well. Our efforts are paying off…..the rewards are on their way, many already here as our perspective shifts and we see with new eyes. Inspiration flows in on waves as does rest and stillness. The flow carries notes that uplift. As I listen to my grandson converse with the trees and plants, the wind and water, the table and car, I know that he came knowing the truth of our oneness with all life.

The forest and sunlight creating spotlights of beauty.

The forest and sunlight creating spotlights of beauty.

We are basking in that knowing, just like the lizards we imitate as we lie in the sunshine after a cold plunge in the pool. Let us savor this in between time, the space that exists as we cross over into our new lives. Each note of joy creates a landing place for our feet as we flow forward into the golden age of lovelight. We are singing our way home.