Honoring My Tone

The beauty of the mountain, sunlight and water mesmerized me for days.

The beauty of the mountain, sunlight and water mesmerized me for days.

I came down from my mountain high with a crash and landed in a valley of emotions. I returned to the California coast for a family wedding. I feel as though I have had my emotional body roto-rooted……all kinds of sludge and muck has been brought to the surface. Years of old emotional pain has been pulled up to the surface, seeking the light of love. I have had a good look at my “tone” and all the ways that it has isolated me in my life. I wore a hat of shame for an evening as I absorbed judgments for the way I participated in a discussion. I saw that truth is more important to me than peace.  Indeed, for me, truth is love. I saw all the waves of people and situations that fell from me as I held my tone.

Can I cherish myself while viewing all of these moments of my life? I felt each moment of pain afresh, as it moved through me. It was a life review while in the body. I have experienced this a few times in the past as I have walked this path. This one felt different as all that was shown had a common theme. I was granted a view from the human and soul perspective. From the soul’s viewpoint, the emotional charge is not there. All is clear. I have understood that clarity and tried to live it in my humanness, causing emotional storms. We are moving into greater clarity as our souls live more fully on this earth plane.

The only shelter and security is to be found within our hearts.

The only shelter and security is to be found within our hearts.

I saw how the energies are shifting, how my tone will be able to be held with gentleness rather than as a flaming sword that cleaves.  This a result of people facing their shadows to stand in their truth. I saw how our tones evolve through thoroughly loving the tone that has been. I came to a place of  honoring my willingness to stand in the censure of others to let truth have its voice. Honoring the way I have walked my truth in all of its imperfection. As I lay here and allowed myself to feel all of it, I came to appreciate the consistency with which I have held my tone held throughout my life. That in itself, is a remarkable achievement. I am accepting all aspects of myself with a deep and abiding love.

We have been taught to listen and interpret words as our means of communication. We are moving into a time of transparency and truth. Words can be used to obfuscate, manipulate, hide behind. Now we are given the gift of greater communication as we begin to read the energy field of a person. We can sense the package of information our fields are putting out as well as hear the words. Where there is disparity, there is a discordant tone that is unpleasant to the ear. Where the words and the field are one, a tone of harmony is emitted. This is our work, to harmonize our fields and walk in that oneness.

I have allowed this dissolution of my being, witnessing all aspects of myself, laid bare. No desire to gather them, to reform them. Content to melt into the earth. My personality self felt the old desire to flee the pain presented. I watched the parade of voices, many from years past, come through touting their wares:

  • Start an exercise program, then you will feel better. You seem to quit after a few days, what is wrong with you?
  • It is all about diet, just eat right and your world will be right. You know you eat too much sugar.
  • Meditate 20 minutes a day and your life will be perfect. It has to be a scheduled routine to be effective.
  • Just follow the plan, do not make waves, accept the cultural paradigm and life will ease up. Here are ten easy steps to get there. 

I lay there and laughed. And laughed some more. Really? This is all you have for me? All of these are programs that assist us to judge ourselves. We are told how to feel rather than allowing ourselves to discover anything for ourselves. We are fed a daily dose of judgment that reinforces the notion that we are not good enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, not wealthy enough, not, not, not! We need a diet plan, a money making plan, a brain exercise plan…….left to our own devices we might just discover that we are powerful, perfect beings of lovelight, come to create heaven on earth.

This little guy was one of the gifts left outside my tent door by the elementals. One day it was a bark heart, one day a few berries, a heart rock. All signs of how all the kingdoms want to support and create with us.

This little guy was one of the gifts left outside my tent door by the elementals. One day it was a bark heart, one day a few berries, a heart rock. All signs of how all the kingdoms want to support and create with us.

For now, there is no impulse to move, to do or be anything. I am letting go of the new age, the new earth, the idea of ascension, the idea of myself as a spiritual being. My dear body is here, she breathes and continues to hold a form. I have no desire to preserve this form. I see myself lying on the desert sand, adding to its dust. This gives me a  feeling of peace. Dissolving into the void that I am. The Oneness that exists within each cell.  I watch the sheets drying on the line, and am mesmerized by the form that the wind provides; billowing fat and full by its gusts, hanging limp and flat, in its stillness, edges curling in a soft dance as the wind teases it to soft movement.

I offer myself to the elements, the elemental being of my body, in play with sun, wind, rain, people, faeries, electronics, ley lines, all of it. No will directing this course, trusting to the Creator as the birds and the flowers do. I will come to my flowering as it is part and parcel of my being. Unhinging the mind that believed it was essential to survival. Sitting in my heart, unattached to outer form, to any idea of good or bad, happy life or sad.

View from my tent, camping spot of my dream.

View from my tent, camping spot of my dream.

I am here. And everywhere. Beliefs dissolved. Cords of attachment cut. Will the rain melt me? Will the mountains meld with me? The sylphs of the air have given me direction these past years. Now the where, who, what, how……..are all blowing in the wind. I am the wind. All one. I rest.

 

 

 

 

 

Leaving the Old Behind

imageIt has been so long since I was able to write, I have been journeying on the inner planes. I have been traveling for the past few weeks, enacting the three triggers that I was asked to perform in my new universal role. It has been a time of expansion, physical challenges and grace.

I am presently melding with the Grand Teton Mountains in Wyoming. This has been an elemental experience for me. I swim in Jackson Lake’s clear waters, lie on the ground here, am cooled by the slyphs of the air, lie in my tent and watch the lightening beings and thunder gods illuminate the mountain range, hike along the trails, weaving liquidlovelight. I have not showered or washed my hair in over a fortnight, rather allowing the waters to cleanse me as they will. I have been guided to become feral, allowing my essence to blend with the mountains, dropping deep into the earth’s crystalline core and allowing their strength to infill me.

view from my campsite

view from my campsite

This has been a wonderous experience for me as I am placed at their feet, as it were, in deep reverence and love. I have traveled a triangular pattern of lovelight, from Mount Shasta to British Columbia’s pristine lakes, to Yellowstone and Glacier National Park in Montana, and down Yellowstone’s steaming lands to the jagged peaks of the Grand Tetons. Myriad emotions have flowed through me; despair, joy, sorrow, longing, unease and deep peace. We are leaving this reality behind. Many emotions are brought to the surface as we depart the old. As much as we are ready, and more than ready for the new earth to manifest, we grieve the passing of this age. I have spoken to so many who have found themselves in tears that seemed to have no end. Days of crying that have no known cause. All part of assisting our Mother Earth as she moves into her newness and truth. She takes our tears and uses them to water her heart and allow her full blossoming.

I am standing in the joy and strength of my beloved mountains, truly we are opening to fall in love with everything and everyone. We are the energy of the new earth and it is through our open hearts that we are truly bringing heaven to earth. Glory to God!