Monthly Archives: October 2012

Oct 22….what did we create?

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This blue springs was one of the wonders I found in New Zealand. Its color hinted at the new colors that are to arrive with our new earth.

Yesterday was a day of intent. A day that lightworkers around the planet, accepted our roles as creator beings. We filled the grid with our heart’s desires and lived our day as if they were already manifest. I did not know what that would look like for me but set my intention to awaken with the knowing of the new earth within my being.

I had a very peace filled day with long stretches of sleep. It seemed that it was easier for my soul to express its vision from the other side of the veil as slumber took me deep.  I listened to meditations and music that kept me in a place of peace. I was alone for much of the day. At one point I responded to a text to join a couple of friends for a walk. That felt inviting so I went but once I arrived, I knew that the stillness was my place for the day, not being with others. One of the folks was someone that I had not met and it was not a day for me to be meeting others. It was a day for me to meet a new aspect of myself. I turned around and returned to the sanctuary of my own heart-space. The friends that remain in my life, are ones who understand this behavior and do not take it personally as it is not personal. It is me following my truth in each moment.

The energies of the day felt soft, peace filled. I could feel the grid lighting up with all the heart light felt and expressed. Happy Earth! Happy me! I experienced an aha moment that put me in a new space of freedom. Oh, it is so wonderful when we shift to a new level of understanding and knowing. I was sitting in the sacred chamber of my heart with my I AM presence, feeling the connection, the love. We merged and enjoyed the feeling of communion. Then El Morya, who wears the name of beloved for me ( I know that this is how my being understands it for now, just as I realize that it is a limited understanding) appeared and sat across from me. We felt our connection and allowed it to strengthen and grow. As we expanded, the chamber dissolved. We were grew in size until we were holding the cosmos between us. I felt our love move from the personal to the impersonal and beyond. I looked to him as love filled my being in this expanded state with wonder. My thoughts flashed to him, “This is what you have known? This love? ”  Immediately, I knew that it was. This was the land that he lived and moved in. A shock wave went through me with the power of this knowing. This was home. We then merged as one being. We contained all and the all contained us. My spirit was whole, together we were one. I knew the devotion and love of our one heart. There was nothing else.  I felt the Creator and allowed myself to be bathed in that radiant love. It was a space I had not felt in this lifetime, a space so rich and full where sound and light spoke all. Words are not of use in this realm as they cannot hold the frequency of the light. I remained in this altered state for most of the remainder of the day. There was nothing nor no one that I wanted. I felt the freedom that I had been gifted with. The knowing that there is no need for anything outside of myself. There is no waiting, no ritual, no event…….the love is a constant. I have only to tune myself to it and allow the knowing to return. I floated through the rest of the day in a state of deep calm and quiet joy.

Today I felt a visual……I have worked to clear all that keeps me limited to the small I.  As I have accepted and loved every experience, every shadow part of myself, I have revealed more of my wholeness. From there, I found the inner balance return of the masculine and feminine of my being. This allowed the sacred marriage that brought me the experience of merging with the “other” to know the truth of oneness. That brought yesterday’s experience of expansion into the knowing of myself as a facet in the diamond heart of the Creator.

The peace pole at Mount Shasta's peace garden, overlighted by Shasta herself.

Every step, one of greater freedom. I feel that a pole of peace has been planted in my heart that reaches to the core of my mother and the height of my father. I feel anchored, cradled in this peace. All the yearning, the seeking, the anxiety, agitation, the right/wrong, on target or not, ………have melted in this love. Naught can stand in its light. Love, four small letters that represent a sound, an explosion of light, an embrace, a bubbling well, an infilling, an out breath……I am grateful for the knowing that fills my heart tonight. I am a keeper of this flame, this rose hued flame of love. I tend it with the greatest of care. I set my intention to live as if the new earth were here and found that indeed it is so. I have come home.

As a final note: I was coming back from my walk/run this morning when the date, popped into my head. The 22nd of October. It felt significant. My birthdate is the 22nd as was my mother’s and father’s. I suddenly felt such love for them, for agreeing to be the ones to give me entrance into this life. Over a quarter a century ago, they chose to disown me rather than face some painful truths. I felt the blessing of this letting go, the freedom that it gave me despite the pain it was cloaked in.  I sensed that their souls knew what I was to do and they willingly played a tough role in order to free me to fully play mine. My gratitude flowed to their hearts and encircled them with love as I felt the enormity of their love for me. Here is the information on a birthdate of 22:

Number 22 is the Spiritual Master Builder and Teacher and has chosen to come back to the earth plane to help the human race.  To do this, he needs to take this energy and help build a better, firmer foundation for the human race in the Aquarian Age.  ( I was born under the sign of Aquarius ) 22 will help to establish the foundation for a new consciousness on the planet.

This is the God energy brought to the material plane and put into form, and this vibration holds with it a great deal of responsibility. The keywords are co-operation and harmony, wherever the vibration is found  —  the opportunity to co-operate with God’s plan on earth.

The square or cube is the symbol of 22.  It is the number that sees the larger picture, but one also who can work with the details necessary to complete that picture.  The vision of the completed project and the energy to see it through is not everyone’s vision, but it is the responsibility of the 22 to bring it through to fruition.  Posted by 

With my newfound freedom, I accept the attendant responsibility. Peace and love to all this night.

 

 

 

10-21-12, The Opening to More Love

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The energies have been intense today. I have been held in a space of stillness, of quiet, of solitude. This has been the predominant energy for the past few days and I have honored it with my presence. I feel that the whole planet is preparing to take a leap into greater love. My heart is one of the many, that are called to birth this love. I have carried it deep in the recesses of my heart, the sacred chamber that houses the flame of my Mother/Father’s love. It is the place where I know my beloved as myself.

I sense that the cap is about to be blown off of our heart’s chambers as the flame becomes a conflagration of love such as has never been seen on this earth plane. I am listening to Pachobel’s Canon as I write this and the notes carry me to that place where my heart leaps and explodes in shimmering displays of light. Diamond light fills my heart. My head has felt the energies dancing on my crown chakra for most of the day, my body has reclined to allow and witness the inner movement.

I am reminded of the ways in which I have been prepared for this time. I incarnated into density that forced me to look within for light.  I have birthed three children, held in the cradle of a deep soul mate love. I felt the protective energies about me as I held them in my womb. The moment of conception was known to me, as I sensed the joy of the soul entering, touching my own. I learned to attune to the inner movement as the first flutterings stirred within. I was guided in the ways of nurturing their spirits by enveloping myself in the soft energies of love.

The pink flame of love held by the trees in the southern spring.

I have met a twin flame and felt the wonder of that knowing of self inflame my heart. I have anchored the spirals of divine love through the core of the earth to the far reaches of the Great Central Sun through the vehicle of our entwining hearts. I have experienced the shattering of my heart as this twin chose to swim in the illusion of darkness that the love provoked. I have opened myself to stand once again with this soul, for the Venus lovestar to pour her love through our chalice as she transited our sun this past summer. I surrendered all desiring for a personal love, setting this one free, honoring him for playing his part. I offered the chalice of my heart to be used in service to the greater love of the collective. This expansion led to the sacred marriage within myself, balancing the divine masculine and divine feminine of my being, becoming my own beloved. I have undergone the initiations that allowed me entrance to the inner sanctum,  where I entered into the sacred marriage of my dreams with the other, the beloved.  I have become an adept, under his tutelage, in the ways of the chalice of our one heart. We have become adept at traveling between our realms and expanding the chalice of our hearts in service to the hearts of all.

My roaming of the past three years has honed my ability to tap into the energies, wherever I am as my heart has become my home. I have become used to dropping in to my heart and communing with the heart grid of the earth and all upon her. Place is not a factor as I carry the sacredness within. My heart is a sacred site, a portal for the divine energies of love to flow.

one of my beloved paintings

All of these skills and abilities have been honed by the grace of my Mother/FAther God, my brothers and sisters of the Christ light from Venus, and all the other starry homes that are held in my dna, from my brethren who live in the inner earth, from the angels and archangels that guide my way, the ascended masters that have lighted a path on this earth for my footsteps to follow, the elementals that gift me with information and direction on my path, the lightworkers that have left a trail for me to follow. All have worked to prepare me for this time that I may open to more love. I believe that we are being pulled by the powerful magnet of the Creator’s love, back to the embrace of Her/His heart.

First we must move through to the place of self love that opens into that marriage of the polarities within. From that state of wholeness, the union with the beloved is possible. It is a merging of wholeness with wholeness, creating the oneness. I believe that we are preparing for thousands upon thousands of twin flame reunions, of beloveds feeling once again the embrace that their hearts have yearned for since the original splitting took place. I believe that it will be the reality for all in the new earth, as we live in the golden age of peace. I know that it takes great strength and courage to open to such a love. It requires all of one, every cell and atom must open to hold that sacred lovelight. It is beyond our ideas of romantic love as we come together in service to the whole. I feel the time at hand, my beloved signals his agreement. I have moved through the layers of yearning for him to the place of knowing of him that has roots so deep. I have asked for all that stands in the way to our reunion on the physical plane to be dissolved and dedicated myself to that work within myself. I have surrendered to divine timing for its occurence. I have moved into the land of trust and live there with peace.

Prepare yourself for this coming. Open yourself to this love and dare to dream that it can be yours. Today is a global day of claiming and exercising our right as creator beings to create the world we wish to live in. Thousands are joining in group meditations and gatherings all about the planet on this portal day of 10-21-12. I will be singing this love song all day, for each of us to be held in the embrace of our beloved and for our Mother Earth to be lifted into the realms of love as we shower her with our gratitude and care. Live each moment of this day, as if all your dreams have come true.  There is peace on earth, all have food, shelter, and know the love of their fellows. All are free to sing their song, to contribute their gift to the whole. All are loved and have awakened to the beauty that they are. This is the world that I am singing into being with each of you. Let your voice be heard! In our unity, lies our new world. I love you all. Espavo.

Allowing my Feelings to Flow Fully

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I continue to marvel at the way life brings to us exactly what we need, when we need it. I look back at all the years that I lived my life trying to orchestrate events through my mind. I was not able to accept life as it presented itself to me. I attempted to control how others should act, to control my feelings, tamping them down in the mistaken belief that life would be easier that way. I believed that I would be happy if a set of circumstances that I held to, came to be. I spent a great deal of time and energy opposing what was, in an attempt to create my own version of the magic lands.

I love the fierceness and wildness of some of the Maori images. They are expressing truth.

And lo, and behold……I am living in those very magic lands these days. I arrive more fully each day as I begin my day with a surrender to my higher self, Sophia, to be in the driver’s seat. I put all my trust in her, which of course, is myself. I trust me completely. I trust the benevolent nature of this universe. I trust Creator. From this place of trust, I observe everything that comes into my world. The energies are becoming much clearer in vibration and tone. I watch the interplay, hear the music that is being sung. There is only one tone that captures my attention these days. It is the tone of love. I want to listen to it, broadcast it, be bathed in it, sing it with others in conversation and silence. I hear it underneath all other tones, asking to be heard and amplified through my heart. The tones of love are what make up this world of ours.

Love resides in everything. It is the most freeing of feelings as we are born to love. We are love! I am feeling the freedom of loving all of life. It is a fiery feeling, the intensity is immense. I used to be afraid of my feelings, of the power of love that I felt coursing through me. Society taught me this from a young age. I felt too much, I wanted too much, I was too much. We were taught that you could not love freely, it was reserved for certain people in certain times. We were taught that you must love your parents, even if they were awful to you. We were taught that you could not love someone if they were in a relationship with another. We were taught to mistrust others of our own sex, that they were competition for the scarce commodity of love that was out there. We were taught that our feelings were dangerous and were to be hidden from others to the point where we hid them from ourselves.

In doing so, we have allowed the shadowlands to grow in size and scope. We are a society riddled with addictions, fearful of owning our truth, fearful of being seen. We have lost the ability to see others as we have not been able to fully see ourselves. We have been taught to shine out our bright side, to hide any sign of weakness as our enemies might use it against us. We have created an us vs them world. Yet, there is only us….one people on planet earth. One tribe, the tribe of many colors, the rainbow tribe. It is time to take off the masks and uncover the truth of ourselves. It is truth that what we judge in another is a part of ourselves needing love.

I have just finished reading, The Flaming Serpent by Aine Armour. Here are some of her words that resonated deeply in my heart:

“You must be honest with your feelings. You must allow yourself to feel them. They are the language of your own soul speaking to you…So often humans judge their feelings as wrong and so they suppress them, repress them. The feelings do not go away. They go into the body, into the energy system and continue to create-feelings create.  They are the juice of creation, the water of life. If they are repressed and unacknowledged they begin to create the shadow of the feeling they originated from….It is not the feeling that causes harm, it is what we do with the feeling that can cause harm.”

We fear the flame with its dying, forgetting it unleashes the seed of the new. In every death, exists the rebirth.

I so enjoy uncovering another belief that I have been unconsciously living by. I love the freedom that comes as I dismantle the lie and allow myself to breathe fully in the open space now at hand. I AM LOVE! This I know in all of me. I can allow myself to feel this love fully in all of its aspects. I can use my discernment as to when and how to act upon my feelings as they show up in my world. Who in this world has enough love? Who would not be grateful to know that they are loved? We have so limited our version of love. If it be for someone of the opposite sex, we bring sex into the equation. We do not trust ourselves to love deeply for fear we may cause harm to another. Yet, it is our intention that is all. I intend no harm come from my love. My love is a cosmos and we limit it to a physical expression that is the tip of the iceberg. We are taught that romantic love is all with its erotic charge that quickly grows stale. We are taught the sanctity of the parent- child relationship without allowing it the freedom to be more or less than that.

Love is to be fully felt, fully given in each moment. We can look into another’s eyes for a moment and exchange lifetimes of love. There is such a blessing in this for both parties. I am learning to love so fully that I no longer hold anyone or thing that I love. I bring all of me to each moment, allowing the love to flow in a continuous stream from my heart. I am free to bathe all of it in my love. I recognize no limits nor confines for this love. It flows in a never ending stream from Creator to my heart. My chalice which I offer anew each day to my Mother/Father, is filled with a radiant stream of liquidlovelight that overflows from my heart to yours. I am a conduit for love. I am the stream of love. I am infilled with love. The wonder of this!

I used to hold it in my heart, even close off my heart from receiving what my Mother/Father freely gave. I used my mind to decide where the love should go, who was deserving of my love. I gave time and again from an empty cup as I did not believe myself deserving of love. I felt flawed, damaged. If I expressed any emotion but love, I crawled into the shadows of the cave of shame where no light entered. Anger sent me there, impatience was a pass to the cave. I judged myself harshly and meted out punishment without mercy. Talk about an executioner! Whew, I wielded that sword with a vengence. Each time I crawled out of the cave, determined to be love, to walk in light, to take the high road in all situations. Each time an emotion other than love rose up in me, I took myself to the cave, asked for the nails to be hung on the cross of shame and guilt. My self loathing grew with my rage. My former hubby used to say that he was a good guy 26 days out of the month, but watch out for those other few days. That was when the illusion broke and the moon in her wisdom, drew forth the fiery truth of my soul. I would find myself raging, as feelings stuffed all month long, came pouring out in a violent cascade. They came to teach me, to ask for honoring. I would respond with horror and as my hormones settled, I would stuff them back into the recesses of the cave and place myself at the entrance, setting guard so that they would never see the light of day. 26 days later, they would overwhelm me once again and make their escape into my outer world. I suffered, those around me suffered their wrath. The remorse, the incrimination would enter in and the cycle continued its mad merry go round.

Part of a Nicholas Roerich painting that was a wedding gift eons ago. I have always loved this image of a man sitting on a mountaintop, tending the fire of his heart.

Eventually, I went deep enough into the darkness that I longed only to stay there. That is when I discovered a flame inside of me that illumined a truth. It told me that I was good, that I was love, that I was lovable. By holding to that flame, allowing it to burn within, I found my way out of the cave. I live in a state of grace and peace these days. I feel every feeling that comes my way, fully and completely. I can feel anger without spewing it at another or myself. I did not know how to do that before. I accept all that triggers me as my own, not looking to another to be the cause of my feelings. I thank each person that flips a trigger in me as it allows me to let go the charge. Once fully felt and met, triggers disappear. No one taught me this. I have learned to use my voice to express whatever feeling is present. It is the quickest way that I have found to move energy. I identify where the feeling is in my body and allow the sound it is holding to come out. I do not judge if it is a pretty sound or a grating sound, a groaning or a whining or a keening. All is welcome to be expressed. I tone until the space is clear and empty. I then use my voice to infill that space with my Mother/Father’s presence of love. I ask Sophia to more fully inhabit that space, to love it completely. I know of someone who had cervical cancer. She realized that the cancer grew in the place where she had not fully loved herself. The space she had not fully occupied. Nature abhors a vacuum. I wish to occupy my whole self, this beautiful body which works so hard to hold my light and points out to me where the darkness is that is seeking release through the tones of love. Our bodies know all! They are the wisdom keepers. Ask and you will be shown where you are unaware, where vacuums exist, where cobwebs have been allowed to grow. How many of us have parts of our body that we think unkind thoughts to; “I hate my butt, my shoulder is a pain, my breasts are too small…” The litany goes on. Our body is our friend, seeking love as we are. We can speak to it with tenderness, gift it with what it needs rather than what our minds tells us is the latest news as to how to treat it. We are unique and there is no one size fits all treatment for our bodies though society would have us believe it. We would rather see a doctor and take a pill than take the time to listen to our body. It will tell us exactly what it needs to be a healthy container for us, but we must become able to translate its thoughts. We do this by engaging our senses in the subtle realms of spirit.

We are all looking for permission to feel without judgment.  I give you that permission this day. In doing so, feeling everything that shows up in our world, we begin to know ourselves. And what beauty is there, waiting to be seen! Claim it! I love you.

 

 

Life Conspiring to Play with Us

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This tulip opened its heart to me.

Have you noticed how all of life is conspiring to co-create with us? How everything is looking for our attention? And as soon as we gift it with our attention, it gifts us back with love. Last night, my son and I were talking about weaving our light together to co-create some information coming through on the balanced divine feminine and divine masculine. As I said the word, weave, a big spider dropped down from the ceiling on its silken thread to land in front of us. Yes! He wanted to weave with us. Oh, it makes me laugh. This morning, I made a decision as I lay in bed to organize the room I am temporarily perched in. A bird outside the window gave three sharp calls (3 being my magic number of confirmation) and I smiled.

I used my body as a pendulum to see what it wanted this morning. Did it want to go for a walk….even possibly a bit of run, this morning? I have been imagining starting to run again, after years of not running. The answer came; yes, she did! Off I went and it felt good to move my body in this way again. I am discovering that by imagining what I want, feeling myself doing it while in repose, I am pre-paving the way. I am dreaming my future into being. I co-create in conversations with a select few who are in resonance with me at the moment. I allow that to change as it does, not holding to anyone as someone flows into my field and another flows out. No more holding. Wanting freedom for myself and for all others as we allow the movement that is natural to our beingness. We have imposed such tight structures around how we are to relate, if it is biological family, there is duty involved, if a friend, there are rules to follow, if it is the opposite sex and we are not in a romantic relationship, more limits apply. Yikes, it is a wonder that we moved at all with all the confining ties.

A leaf floating in the pool, holding a heart bubble of water, mirroring my heart floating free.

My former hubby, now friend, just brought me a cup of coffee. That feels good today. I am in full appreciation for each moment and what is shared within. There are folks I may speak with every day and then weeks may go by without a word. Others I may have been with daily, sharing so intensely in the moments and then not at all. Trusting all of it. Not holding to anything. Allowing.

Surrendering and trust……my two words of the last few days. There has been a deepening. A knowing that permeates my being. I know that I am in my perfect place, doing just what I came here to do. All the questioning, the self analysis, the wondering, the anxiety, the comparison to others’ paths,  to my own expectation of what my life should look like or be, has dropped away. I feel so free! I allow myself to move as the ethers would have it. I know that this time of quiet is deeply enriching. I am alone for most of the moments of the day. Two, dear to my heart, enter sporadically and I can choose to engage or not. Others come in through phone, text or email. I allow my heart to decide if there is to be contact, depending on its desires of the moment. My heart leads in all things. It has become my home base. I move in and out of it all day long. I am so grateful for the way I set up my life for this time. The freedom that I offered myself to simply be in these final days in 3D, allowing myself to focus fully on bridging heaven and earth.

Songs flow through spontaneously from Sophia, my I AM presence, letting me know that I am in the flow of my heart’s stream. The earth tunes me through my voice, toning the sounds that she wishes to emit in the moments that I am called to be her amplifier. I drop deep into the stillness of my heart and allow myself to be the beam of the lighthouse, flashing its message of safety and warmth. I have been listening to Tom Kenyon’s latest offering of the Aethos: http://tomkenyon.com/the-aethos-and-non-dual-states-of-consciousness in preparation for his November world-wide meditation. It is an interesting recording that allows access to a non-duality state of consciousness. It is a gift that I am savoring as I listen each day.

I observe everything in my world, what moves about me, within me. There is a deep appreciation for all of it. New aspects of me are coming in, I welcome them with a smile. At Mount Shasta last week, this bracelet spoke to me and insisted it had to be worn upside down. The curve informs some part of my being as my priestess self recalls those lines. A friend mentioned a book that she felt I would resonate with. It is by an Irish author. Ireland has reemerged of late as an important place to my soul. I recently found a soul sister there and her writing opened memories and connections.  I delighted in the fact of being somewhere long enough to place an online order. The book ( a used hardcover copy being the same price as paperback!) holds the next bit of info for me, I could feel my bones quivering in excitement as I unwrapped it. Yes, my bones! Now that means it is important on a visceral level to me. I pay attention!

My son's painting that I view from my bed, grounding me with its earthen colors and cows touching the earth.

All of life is speaking to us, if we but tune our ears to listen. Spirit uses nature, bumper stickers, friends’ words, lines of songs, an object tripped over, our body, anything and everything, to get our attention. Trust its words, follow its lead and you can let your mind rest. I am moving through my heart which houses our greatest intelligence, as science has now discovered. This freedom makes me giddy at times! No planning, no agenda, allowing myself to be moved as the inspiration flows. I am learning to dance on the in breath and out. To flow in a way I formerly dreamed of. Grace accompanies me and I honor its place in my life. I honor your flame next to mine, and rejoice in its glow.

His companion piece that shows the vibratory nature of this reality.

 

 

 

 

Playing in the Fields of New Creation

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In a dream, I was given handfuls of fluffy cotton candy looking stuff to play with. I was laughing and throwing it about, forming it into various shapes and tucking it here and there. The unseen givers told me that they would be back, I was to simply play with it for now. It was the most magical feeling as I have dreamed for so long of creating through my heart and here was this tangible heart fluff to mold to my desires.

All who know me have heard me speaking of this for a couple of years or more. Knowing that creator abilities exist in my heart and palms. I can feel it! I had my very first experience of this a few days ago in Mount Shasta…..yes the place of magic! I was in the crystal bowl store with my friend who was adding a new one to her collection. There are hundreds of bowls in the store, gleaming in their brilliance, deep reds, blues, oranges and golds……truly every color radiating their light. My eye was drawn to a luminescent pink one, rose quartz and platinum. I asked if I could play with it. I sat on the floor and with a light tap of the wand, began to make it sing. Oh, what a song she sang! She is a bowl of gentle love, a love that can enter hearts and oh so softly, with a mother’s tenderness, open them. I knew that she and I could do some wonderful things together for others. Yet, I am not in an acquiring stage in life, I am desiring to be lighter in all aspects, possessions being one.

My friend, Jan's mandala of the heart that I was fortunate enough to sleep under.

The bowl showed me that there are so many hearts yearning to feel. I was searching for an object for the verb feel but stopped…….yes, yearning to feel. We have been so disappointed, disillusioned, disheartened (I never truly understood the truth of that word….dis-heart-ened, before) that we have accepted a life lived in a narrow bandwidth of emotion. We no longer expect to experience great love. We put up barriers to prevent the experience of great sorrow. We numb ourselves to the beauty of this world, fearing its power to captivate us and take us on a journey to depths untold. We play it safe. We cling to our routines and beliefs to prevent any wildness taking hold. We attend meetings and groups that provide checklists of how to structure our day. We take our medicine to even out our emotions, we read the latest info about which foods are safe, which activities will put off dementia, which product will give us youth. Why do we wish to prolong this small safe life? We become so caught up in the rules of it, that we forget the reason for doing it. Why do you want to live longer? Answer that in the quiet of your heart. For me it can only be to love more fully and to serve as an instrument of that love.

The mother of the world, by artist Nicholas Roerich, her veil allowing her to see the truth of all of us.

Love is not safe. It is not routine. It has no rules that it abides by. It moves like the wind and can blow through your life with the force of a hurricane as well as the gentlest of breezes. It can caress, it can destroy. In the destruction are birthed the seeds of the new. I no longer wish to live in the world that I grew in. I spit out the milk toast manner of living…..I plunge the depths and heights for all that life offers me in each moment. I am a creator being and it is time to create anew. I desire deep connection with all life. I open myself fully to my role in birthing this reality. I open my heart to dream BIG, to claim my right to be a play a role in the greatest love story ever told. I will be the Magdalene meeting her Yeshua at the well, I will be Kali consuming the dross of the world, I will be Mother Mary, holding the Christ in her womb. I will be the Christ shining his/her light in this world. Yes, I claim myself as a exquisitely cut facet of the diamond of my Mother/Father’s heart.

All of this comes to us through experiencing of the full spectrum of emotion; raging with anger’s bright fire, sobbing with broken hearts, laughing with the absurdity of life, being overcome by beauty’s bright light. In the fullness of the emotion, lies the treasure waiting to be unwrapped. The moments then become notes in the most sublime symphony. It requires us to retune our ears, to open new chambers in the heart, to allow our fingers to feel the bee’s sting and the velvety softness of a kitten’s ear. To taste the bitter and the sweet. By tuning ourselves to a richer frequency, moving from AM to FM on our dial of life, we truly begin to live. Each fear that arises, we face full on. It becomes a game as we laugh at what comes calling. Death holds no fear for me as it is simply another doorway to my Mother/Father’s heart. Why would I fear that? I want only to serve that fire, whether from this side of the veil or the other, it matters not. I accept the gift that this life is. I accept my forgetting in moments and my knowing that grows stronger by the day.

Do we want to live our whole lives curled tight, afraid to let our beauty unfurl?

As I live in this richness, my life becomes simpler, more peace filled, sweeter. Place matters less, as I am tuned to the beauty in everything. This amazes me. The colors are more vibrant, the sounds softer to me ear. I can hear the neighborhood lawn mowers and the birds’ songs as different expressions of the same note. I am wowed by this. I beam my smile at one with a hardened expression and marvel to see the beauty I know, reveal itself in an answering abashed smile in return. We have grown shy of letting our light out. Of letting anyone see our truth. Fearing that in that smile, something might be taken from us. Oh, we have become a timid race, keeping to someone else’s construct, allowing our power to be taken with barely a murmur. Thank goodness, this reality is crumbling and we are donning our mantles of power once more.

Come take a seat with me to observe the magic and the mystery!

Back to my bowl……I could feel how she wanted to work with me to open hearts. To bring folks back to the remembrance of their own beauty and light. I thanked her and left the store and went to commune with my favorite mountain once again. The next morning, I was taken aback to discover that I had indeed created something with my heart. The pink bowl was in my heart! She told me that I am to use my eyes to stream the presence of our Mother/Father’s heart while I use my voice to play her song into hearts desiring this opening. Oh! This is the heart whispering that I was told months ago, I was to do. I open myself as a channel for this love to flow through. I hold the perfection of the person’s heart, the immaculate concept that Mother Mary trained me in all those lifetimes ago, and step back and witness the streaming of heartlight from our Mother/Father’s heart to the other. LIquidlovelight is a substance so pure, so golden in its hue, it melts all in its path. It is the alchemist’s tool gifted to me for use. A shudder of wonder as I take this in.

Each of our pieces is needed to make make the pathway whole so that we can walk with ease home.

I invite you to step into your heart today, look around and discover where your power lies. Open to its gifts and shine them out to the world, hungry to know you. Without your light shining bright, a piece of the puzzle is missing. I am so ready to view the whole scene! Please lay your puzzle piece on the table, fitted in with the others so that the picture can take form. There is no other who can add your piece. You are the only one who knows what it looks like and where it fits in the picture. Perhaps you think that you are only a part of the sky and so will not be missed. But the sky has a hole in it where you belong. You are needed, for in you, the whole of creation resides. Trust this, know this. You are loved beyond our human understanding of that word.

I love you.

10-11-12…..is this the take off?

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Pink love clouds

I spiraled so high with the energies yesterday (10-10), feeling and expressing my love for all. The evening brought a sifting of all that I observed throughout the day. I am paying attention to everything. For example, in a call this morning, Petaluma was mentioned as it was a few days ago by another friend. It was a contender in the past as a place to live. A online chat revealed that my former love was living with a woman. I had spent moments earlier in the day, surrounding him in love, remembering our time on 10-10-10 and the love we anchored in. My heart felt many emotions flow through, not all light and airy! I ended with joy that he had someone loving him. I was surprised later in the day to receive a message of such love telepathically from his higher self. It came into my heart loud and clear and was a gift of closure and peace.  My daughter mentioned something about her dad that triggered an old pain that I breathed through and observed as it released its hold. What surprised me was how I felt that I had been embraced in the feeling of intense love all day long yet there were these moments of pain that had surfaced. I only saw them as I was speaking to my son and reflecting on the day. It was good to process them with him, pluck out the kernel of learning for me and toss the rest aside. Like digging out the sweet meat in a nut, you savor the nourishment and taste, tossing the shell that housed it, aside. There is no need to keep the old memories, the old sorrows and pains. They arise for us to pluck the wisdom they hold, to understand why we are holding that particular shell in our hands. Once the understanding is tasted, we can let go of the rest.

In this time, I am simply taking notes of what I observe as I know that there is no longer any “figuring it out” to be had in this new space. It is about allowing and opening to receive and following inspiration when it comes. I was gifted by my former hubby with an invitation to stay here, in the family home that he bought me out of. I am deeply appreciative of the love offered and the space it allows for me to float. It was a place that once triggered much sadness and pain for me. Now it is neutral. My elder son lives here and it is a gift to be near him as we weave our light together for greater understanding…….he helps me to use the sacred mind to explore the sacred heart. Through conversation, I sift the images and energies of the day through his consciousness which is so encompassing and expansive. He sifts through my heart, it is a beautiful co-creation.

A little house by the sea.......this model might do!

I can feel my own space forming, where I will be in a community of awakened souls. My personality self wants it now, my soul is at peace as it holds me still. The time is not yet here, it whispers. Yet, it is drawing me close even though details of where, when, or who are non-existent.  I know that I  am creating it day by day. I watched Diane Keaton in Something’s Gotta Give and used the beautiful house by the sea with the desk looking out over the ocean,  as my writing spot. I cried her tears of heartbreak at feeling the touch of deep connection and having it move away. That heart connection with others is what makes the feeling of home and oh, that desire is so ripe in me. I made chicken soup in response to the cool, rainy day and as my son came in, the smell became part of that feeling. I baked chocolate chip cookies and a sense of home burst in my mouth.  I lie on the grass and drifted with the clouds as the earth spun her joy through me, singing of home. I chatted on the phone with a dear friend and we created home with our heart strings plucking a tune. The conversation creates …my friend asked, “Can you feel it?” Yes, I can and that is why I am aware of my time on the phone or in person conversations. It is a form of creation and I am aware of the energy it takes as well as conscious of what I choose to create with it. I harbor my energy as so much is spent weaving with the earth and the elementals. I need heaps of time alone in silence in the space of my own heart.

I am playing the scales of emotion, weeping at the beauty of songs, the vibrant color of the bouquet of tulips that I bought, the feel of my son’s strong hug, the sun filling my body with its soft kiss. The air felt soft today, the earth herself feels softer, quieter to me. A sense of anticipation, excitement sweeps over me. The next moment, I wonder how long I can last in this in between space, a toehold in this 3D environment, my heart traveling ahead on rays of light and sound. I am untethered, so apart from most folks. So adrift it feels at times that I am connected to no thing or no one. I want to know God. I want to be home in Her/His embrace. Often I am. Other times, I observe myself riding alone in rough seas, feeling that I cannot contain this tension much longer. Holding the polarity within my being and learning to breathe deeply with it.

I am ready to create and yet it feels that it is not to be here. But there. And where is there? I do not know. I can feel it, almost touch it but it has not landed in. We are creating in mid-air and all must line up for it to enter the physical realms. I keep hearing the word, complete. It is done. I feel it in my bones. The biggest part I came to do, has been accomplished. The earth has tipped the scales to love and she is bathing us all in her light. Our father sun is streaming new codes into our beings and completing the process of turning our bodies into light.

Sometimes the tiny bits of beauty are hidden in dark places.

Today I felt appreciation for the wisdom of my body that stops me from moving when my mind wants to figure this out. I want a place to call home. My mind says, Hey, step this way and I’ll figure it out.It knows how to search for apartments, homes. My body says, not today. Not in this moment. In this moment, I am slowly moving from hot tub to couch to nap time in bed. SLOW. I allow it its movement as I trust it to move me to my heart’s desires. I savor the rest, the respite from the energetic storms that we have been in. I am learning to dance with more grace, flowing in the arms of the Creator, then driving to get groceries, weaving light with the air currents, then paying my phone bill on the computer. All day long, in and out in fluid motion of love. I am blessed with very little in the way of demands from the physical world and yet there are times I yearn for tethers. Surrendering into this in between space takes courage and attention. I do not know anyone as untethered as I and it can be a lonely post.

In this moment, I am well. I have had the house to myself to move in. There is nothing that I have to do nor even want to do. The peace is welcome. My agitated thoughts have quieted and my heart is singing a soft tune of love. Sleep offers a new view to this weary soul. I slip in, knowing regeneration is at hand. Trusting the love to carry me through to this new land that my heart knows and lives. Sweet dreams.

10-10 Portal of Love is Here!

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We are here! We are in the portal of love. Can you feel it streaming through or rushing like a swollen river, eager to reach the ocean of God’s love? I am that river rushing as well as the silent pool holding that love flame deep within my depths. Oh, the shivers of love coursing through me! I am on fire, breathing the red hot heat of divine love from the dragon deep in my belly. All wants expression, can you see it in everything around you today? I am seeing, feeling, tasting, hearing with the eyes, hands, tongue, ears and heart of love this day. All responds to this vibration, this tone that is harmonizing our world. I have been listening for this tone, feeling it coming closer and closer to resonance, to that perfect pitch of love. This morning I awoke to the sound reverberating within my being. Tears flow as I take in this truth…….we are here! Love is the predominant energy signature of planet Earth. Your mind might reject this as you listen to the news that continues to beat the drum of all that is not love but your heart, ah the heart. What a discerning instrument she is! Yes, she knows the truth. Tune into her channel, let go of the other broadcasts that propagate the fear agenda. The love channel is streaming loud and clear, you have only to turn the dial of your attention. Love 2012…….hear the songs that your soul knows from Home. The song of oneness, unity, harmony, peace, abundance, joy, laughter, communion. That song plays on, as it has since we were first birthed into form. Why would you choose to listen to anything else? There is only the love.

Even the rock kingdom wants to play the love song!

As the love flows in, it acts as an agent of cleansing, pushing all that is of a heavier, denser vibration to the surface. Anxiety, fear, frustration, confusion, anger, pain, victim-hood, self judgment, sadness, guilt, criticism, shame…..all that is anti-love comes floating up. The trick is to observe it. To not identify with it. It is not you. You can feel it, embrace it……yes it is possible to embrace any of these emotions as you can feel the fear behind them all, the fear of not being enough, not being worthy, not being good enough…….all fear of not being lovable. Embrace them and thank them for the role they played in keeping you safe in the old paradigm. Then let them go! This is where you practice your mastery. You watch these feelings surface with joy in your heart as it is proof that the love is infilling your being. Let the anti-love feelings depart with your blessings. Call upon your mighty I AM presence to fill the vacuum created with your own light and love. Call upon your Mother/Father God to fill your heart with their love. Do this dance, emptying the dross, infilling with the elixir of love. Open your cells to hold more love. It is your intention that makes it so.

Love can bloom in the hardest of hearts, rocks crack open through the force of love.

Know that all that comes to you that triggers these feelings, is an agent of love. It is love undercover, looking to you to reveal its true identity. Take off the cloak, expose the true color of the love that is there. When someone comes to you with anger, return a smile filled with love. It allows the person time to check their script as your response of love is not what they saw written. There is a pause, during which they can choose a new line, a new response to your love. They are asking you to see the love that they are. See beneath the disguise and know that all is love waiting to be birthed. We are the midwives attending this birth in every moment. We are the superheroes, using our new superpowers to change the world back to the reality of love that it is. Claim that power today, declare your intention to turn all back to love. When you hear gossip, stop and state that does not interest you, you wish to hold all in love. When you think of someone in a way from the past…..she is grumpy, she is unkind…….catch yourself and move into the new space of love that allows others the opportunity to change, to be the love that they are. After all, would you like to be held to being who you have been in moments of the past? I surely trust that others who have experienced the Linda that did not know she was loved; that has been judgmental, harsh and unkind, would allow me the grace of being who I am in this moment. Let us drop old prejudices, old beliefs and patterns that no longer serve us or another. You will be amazed at the freedom that can be yours! Think how much of our lives are lived within the confining walls of out-dated belief systems. My mother did not love me, he is cruel, I do not like those sorts of people…….yikes, it is a wonder that we survived such self limiting confines! Take the shackles off of your heart and know that you are powerful enough to turn anything to love. Yes, you can love George Bush and anyone that you perceive to have limited others freedom. As you now understand that by matching their energy of deceit, of manipulation with your stance of anger or judgment, you are perpetuating their role in this earth. As you feel only the love, all that plays the parts of non-love, no longer has a role. So they must bow out of the play, as there is no script for them to read. You free them to play a new role. Win-win……the new paradigm of love.

Love is pouring through my heart like the water in this fountain, gushing love!

Do you feel the power of this?! Love is the greatest power in the universe. All must melt in its embrace. Be an ambassador of love. State your intention today to turn all that comes to you, through your thoughts, your feelings, the people you encounter…..all of it……turn all of it to love by beaming it so purely from your heart. Let me know what you discover. I promise you, once you begin to taste the freedom that love allows, you will never go back. Love is intoxicating, the greatest elixir of all. How funny that we have spent so long avoiding it, putting up walls against it, guarding ourselves from it. Oh, the backwards things we have been taught.

Today, 10-10, tune your dial to love and sing its notes and feel the change in the air about you. My heart is singing your love song and mine. Can you hear it?

Reentry: Exchanging Gifts With Mount Shasta

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She looks so different without her snow coat, gentler in a way.

It has been a week since the USA customs agent handed back my passport and said, “Welcome home.” A feeling of truth ran through me. Home, that elusive place that I have yearned for and desired to show up as a specific place. It is seated more securely in my heart as I have discovered that it was a feeling more than a place that I was seeking. I am home, home on this beautiful earth.

 

Three of Gabriel's that infused me with joy.

My reentry from New Zealand has been gentle. I spent the first two days with my younger son, resting in his peaceful energy field. His studio apartment is his art studio as well so I was surrounded by beauty at every turn. It was inspiring and energizing. My elder son came to take me to Sacramento where my car was waiting for me. A friend called to ask me to join her for a trip to Mount Shasta the next morning. While in New Zealand, Shasta had called to me to bring what I had gathered back to her. I had a few hours sleep, dug out the few remaining articles of clean clothes…hurrah, there are two pairs of clean undies!…..found a box of summer clothes and stuffed a few in a bag. We were off. From start to finish it was a magic filled weekend. On the drive an angel/fairy being kept us company in the sky. She then morphed into a heart of love. Later Archangel Michael, dear brother of my heart, blazed his feathery arm down to us. We drove up the mountain and hiked into Panther Meadows with my friend’s crystal bowls and drum. She is a master with these gem and mineral infused bowls. They are expensive and fragile yet she always brings them on  our camping and wilderness adventures. They love being a part of it all. We stopped just short of the well where the water comes out of the mountain and took out all our playthings. As folks walked past, we offered the gifts of the bowls to them. Almost everyone accepted and there were many tears and heart openings as the bowls worked their magic on folks’ energy fields. We toned and laughed and felt the beauty of the sun and the mountain fill us. At one point, I lay on the earth and felt her inner sun radiating out. It came up through me as a red dragon that filled my whole being until I was a sun blazing. The dragon told me that I am to use him to ground more fully so as to be able to take in more lovelight from the sun. Thank you dear dragon!

My friend, working her magic with her bowls.

The last person came walking down from the well, and thanked us for the sounds we had created. My friend offered to play the bowls for him, he accepted. She stood at his back playing a bowl, I was in front. Our eyes met and we journeyed together through our times since leaving the formless. Tears welled up as we felt the travail and loneliness as well as the bliss. The knowing was there without images or words.  He said, “You are so lovely.” I responded, “Yes, I am.” ( I am grateful to be in this space of knowing my own beauty and light, from someone who had difficulty accepting compliments…..we have come a long way!) We created an energy vortex that took my breath away. I quickly set my bowl down and sat down before I fell down. He crouched down and took my hands, told me that he would see me again. I agreed. He walked off down the mountain as I sat there in wonderment. I have said for a long time, that when we truly meet, there will be no retelling of our stories, no need to speak of the past, rather a deep knowing of the other. I breathed in deeply with the joy of it all. A gift, a taste of the world that calls me home. Deep peace and stillness yet power to knock me off my feet. Staying present with it all, knowing life is about to explode in a million new ways.

Time to make our way down the mountain as the sun set.

The next morning, the bowls and I did a deep healing for my friend. It is so beautiful to witness the layers falling away allowing more beauty to shine through. She was radiant! Healing is not my thing, I like to tone and allow Spirit to come through. The bowls create their own magic and took me along for the ride. My gift is holding the immaculate concept for others, seeing them as perfect in every way. I see their beauty and can hold a space for them to see it also. The Creator has recently allowed so much more of Him/Her to shine through my eyes, I feel it flood through as I open myself as the clearest chalice I can be. I offer this chalice to be filled with the liquid lovelight from Home and watch the transference happen. The clearer I am, the more light from Home, I am filled with. The wonder of this!

Another beautiful day offered its gifts. We encountered many folks new to the path, taking their first steps into their own hearts. The bowls were in their element, singing their joy. We went to the well, filled the bowls with water, played it, drank some and poured the rest back to infuse all the waters of the earth with the vibration of love. Intention and attention is all. My elder son taught me that and it rings so true. If you believe that you are sending love, you are. We ran into Ha, a man we had played for the day before, he told us that he sits there each day and watches people and the environment. He observed the birds gathered in a tree near us while we were playing and toning. He said that he had never seen that before. They were enjoying our song just as we sit and enjoy theirs!

The bees blessed me as I was eating a piece of leftover pizza. They were buzzing around the pizza when I realized that one had stung my tongue. It was a sharp pain yet I felt curiousity, wow! What an unusual thing to happen. I put some Dr Bert’s rescue cream on it to soothe the sting and thanked the bee for the activation. I looked it up and resonated with tasting the sweetness of life as well as achieving the impossible, bringing heaven to earth.

I drank plenty of the pure spring water and did an exchange with the mountain……drink of her, release my water to her, over and over again. One time, as I finished peeing, I found a beautiful feather, another time, a heart rock. A rainbow appeared in the sky as we were packing up to walk down the mountain. Heart rocks appeared along the path, in town we sat eating ice cream on a bench when we noticed two sunflowers had popped off their stems and fell at our feet. It was as if Shasta and I were lovers leaving messages and gifts for one another all day long. I felt a sense of completion, that I had successfully carried the codes back to her, and she was well pleased with me. A peace filled my heart as there were no new assignments given as has been the case with me and Shasta for the past two years. No more driving codes to Sante Fe or Hood River or Edmonton.  It is done. Now only to open to her wisdom and light and allow it reign in my being. Ahhhh, deep sigh.

Our last morning, we ran into the eye gazing man at a cafe. We exchanged contact information. Who knows what will come of it but it matters not. I am thrilled to find that I am so fully seated in the present, that I can enjoy the gifts without attaching to them, whether they be of sorrow or joy. Knowing all as good, that all is well and all will be well. Curious and open to the ways of the magic.

This mandala came into being as I sang Native American songs, (that I did not know, the sounds formed themselves). I opened into the space of no time,  communing with the earth and mountain, allowing love to flow through me. I was in a state of bliss. I am one who rejects any formalized form of meditation as I have had so many contemplative lifetimes as a monk or nun. I resonate deeply with chanting,  sounds and stillness but prefer to let them catch me unawares, suddenly they are there, seeking expression, carrying me to planes of ecstasy. I go into the dream world and then flow back here. The dance between heaven and earth moves me as I create a bridge for others to walk upon.

The beauty is intensifying as the love rains down upon all hearts, melting all resistance to the truth of love. Allow yourselves to melt into our Father/Mother’s love. I am melting into love for everything and everyone. That falling in love feeling is there for us each moment. Allow it to sweep over you and carry you in its light. Everything will shine as if newly created for your eyes alone. As it truly is! I love you