My understanding has been coming in waves. Today one broke that thrilled me. As we ride the waves to their peak, we are afforded a new perspective. I saw that the underpinnings of this old world, have been pulled out. The whole reality is held in place by the continued belief system of the masses. As more of us learn to ride these energy waves, we are freed from the old way of seeing which allow us to take the steps out of the old matrix. All of the old will collapse as its purpose has been served. We can use our energy to energize the world our hearts desire. We are creating our new earth!
Now as I plummet down the surface of the wave, I can be at peace in the quiet time, knowing that the new is real and I will be taken up once again. For so long, we rode wave after wave with no change in sight. It felt exhausting to hold onto our raft of faith in the midst of the storms that beset us. I knew that life was meant to be magical, ease and joy filled but all the evidence pointed to the contrary. This new energy moves like nature, it has its spring time of bursting forth, its dormant winter of going within, its brilliant summer of beauty. It is not static. We have lived under slavery, forced to work each day in a system that assumed a body could produce at a steady pace, day in and day out. We are not wired this way, our energy peaks and then it wanes. It flows out in a burst of social engagement and then returns inward to days of quiet. It is not a constant stream. No wonder we felt so deadened in our 9-5 jobs, our school days, our family lives…..monotony dulls us. If we could not fit the system, we were given a label and a drug …..take a pill, it will make the world more palatable.
Now we can stretch our wings, stand on that tall branch and survey the scene below. Our sense perceptions are changing. Our hearts are melting into love. Our souls are speaking through us, surprising us in their boldness. A friend said a work acquaintance called on business and before getting off the phone said,” I love you!” She is very psychic and could hear his next thought of ,”Oh my God, what did I just say?!” His soul burst through in what is considered an inappropriate manner but the truth is we do love one another. We do! My friend responded with, “I love you, too!” We are creating a world where we can speak our truth without fear. Where we can be transparent in all of our thoughts. Where fear is nowhere to be found. Another friend related how she had taken a new way home from her church service. She discovered a lovely little bakery and had so much fun. She engaged in a conversation with an older woman who invited her to her 90th birthday party. All of this happened because she faced a fear of trying something new, taking a new route. Small changes leading to transforming lives. It is happening everywhere and people are smiling with how good it feels. Freedom is heady stuff.
I planted my seeds of intention on yesterday’s new moon. I felt joy in the movement out of my cocoon of the past months. Walks, talks, art making. Today I witnessed my energy retracting, collapsing inward, like the wave, come to rest on the shore. The couch and fire have called me. My meditation for the day has been as a fire tender. Keeping the flames dancing is the all of it. Trusting this, trusting my impulses to be perfectly aligned for me, to me. In honoring the energy as it moves through, I can be assured of always being in my perfect place at the perfect time. I am not missing anything. Today, I did not answer the phone as words were not a part of this silent fire tending. I allowed the movement to take me deep. In honoring me, I allow the world to reflect that honoring back to me.
I see this is the way of the energy, it builds, movement and excitement are present, then it recedes and deep rest is called for. Movement, then rest. Movement, then rest. Following the wave, surrendering, trusting, flowing rather than fighting. Moving with life rather than trying to throw up a road block to its flow. As we each move into this acceptance, this grace, our world responds ever more eagerly to out picture the life we desire. I desired lemons and a friend asked if I wanted a bag from her tree. I smiled in gratitude for how beautifully I am cared for. How deeply we are all loved. We were told it was not true and we believed it for a time. But our knowing is coming back, we are remembering who we are. There is no need to analyze it in our heads, process it out……we can drop into our hearts and access our knowing for this moment. And that is all that matters. Trusting that all future moments will be cared for when they arrive. Oh, the freedom to let go of the lens of the past and live in this moment! My former husband and I were laughing in delight at how we are sharing our love for one another. It feels so good to have dropped the pain of the past. It is an old story that we will never read again as there is this new story of friendship and support that is so engaging. This is the choice we each have in every moment, to feel our truth and speak it. To live in the joy of our heart’s prompting. To access our deepest desires and to so infill them with feeling, that they burst forth on the screen of life with vibrant passion and beauty. We have existed on a diet of bread and water and suddenly discovered the kaleidoscope of fruits and vegetables! My son read me a line from a book he was reading that struck a chord: “flamboyants (had to look it up, it is a type of tree when used as a noun), scarlet against the blue sky,flaunt their color like a cry of passion. They are sensual with an unashamed violence that leaves you breathless.”
from The Moon and Sixpence….W.Somerset Maugham
I am moving into this experience of sensuality with life! Last night as I lay in bed, imagining my beloved holding me, I was caressed from my shoulders to hips to legs, over and over. It was my beloved and he was able to allow me to feel his touch. I sobbed and sobbed. It went on for about five minutes, which is pretty long. Long enough for my mind to begin to wander to another thought. I laughed and laughed then at myself. In bliss and then thinking of some mundane thing…..again the wave, up and down. Do not judge where you are in it, simply be in it. The bliss comes and then abates, tears and then laughter……we are learning to dance with life!