Monthly Archives: June 2013

Super Moon Sunday, Are You Still Standing?

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A ring around the sun that appeared the day before the solstice. I love the rainbow ray that was reaching out to me and the pink orb of love.

A ring around the sun that appeared the day before the solstice. I love the rainbow ray that was reaching out to me and the pink orb of love.

This Solstice weekend has felt like being squeezed through a wringer washer of old. I have come out like a limp, damp rag on the floor. I have been surfing waves of energy, riding high in the realms of knowing that all is well, and tumbling into the troughs of despair and emptiness where walls surround. My physical body has been bloated, uncomfortable with waves of nausea passing through. It is as if I ate this super moon and I sit here rubbing it! Not as the laughing Buddha but more as a pregnant woman who is feeling the extra weight hampering her movements.

And yet……there is this excitement of the impending birth. A sparkling that flows through my veins along with the sluggishness. It makes sense to me that as duality is ending, we would be experiencing both ends of the spectrum. Our minds question how to navigate these choppy waters. What I am discovering is a greater capacity to fully feel both ends of the spectrum and all that lies in between while retaining an observer’s mind. The questioning of the what, why, hows in my life has died down. There has bloomed a deeper knowingness. The seeking has left my heart. I AM enough. I AM here. I AM showing up with an open heart. There is simply the surrender to the ride, up and down and all around.

Sunlight streaming in, transforming the old patterns of suffering of the cross into the new patterns of joy.

Sunlight streaming in, transforming the old patterns of suffering of the cross into the new patterns of joy.

I spoke with a friend last night and came away feeling so much surer, so clear. By telling one another our stories of the past week or so, (in which we have lived lifetimes!) we both came to a fuller understanding and knowing that all is well. I fell more deeply in love with Sophia, my I AM presence, for her orchestration of my life to align with my divine plan. I fell in love with Linda Marie, for her dearness, her willingness to open to love again and again. I so love me! We both had experienced a death that left us limp and empty. My body is moving slowly as I allow my divinity to flow in unimpeded. I accept that I AM divine. I AM love. My guidance has told me that it is time for me to receive love. To bring the balance of giving and receiving. My heavenly family knows of my gratitude, their message this week was: “Enough Linda. We know your grateful heart. Now, allow yourself to receive our gratitude for your work, for your contribution.” My personality self was surprised by this, had to breathe this in and find room for it. To open my cells and let their lovelight stream in. Yes, it is liquid goldlovelight that is an elixir that I did not know I craved. One drink, and I knew it was the nourishment that I needed. I am drinking gallons of lemon water as I allow this elixir of appreciation and honoring to flood my cells. It carries peace, of a peachy-pink hue that melts my body into the couch, the water, the ground.

This is contrasted by the moments of claustrophobia, when my skin feels too tight, body too small for the light that streams in. I bite my fingernails, flush hot and then cold, toss my hair off my neck, flail about restless as the contraction pulls me in. Comfortable? Not in the least! Oh, the wonder of these bodies, doing this work of internal change while still in operation mode. At times, it feels I have taken a bite of the magic apple that has put me in a semi-sleep state. Words disappear, objects go missing and then reappear in unusual  places, knowledge of how to use things evaporates. The other morning, I awoke to my cell phone ringing. I picked it up and could not for the life of me, remember what to do to answer it. My mind registered, “This is a communication device.” Strange wording and I sat there, trying to access the knowledge of how to use it. I knew that once I had known this. It was one of the many surreal experiences that are happening with greater frequency as we move between dimensions.

Trust. I trust the process. I surrender to it. What else is there? I thank God for nature as when I am jumping out of my skin, sitting with a flower, watching the leaves move with the wind, smelling the grass, allowing the water to caress me……these bring me into the moment. I can live there when all else is chaos and confusion.

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I pulled this card of passion the other day. I know this dancing flame is in me and will surface when my body is ready.

The outer world is reflecting the dismantling of the old. Our inner worlds are being mirrored in more and more hearts as the love streaming in does its magic. My dream world is giving me glimpses and assurances that it has already happened, we are in the Golden Age of Peace. I find the ground beneath my feet is more solid, even if I am inclined to lie upon it rather than dance! I know that the dancing is to come as I embrace the doldrums and let myself be. All is part of the whole, the unease and the joy. I AM ABLE for this. As are you. This is why we came, to take all of this experience into our bellys, hold it and rub it with love and send it forth in a shower of light. Like Fourth of July fireworks going off, one by one, we are adding our light to this world. The variety and ingenuity is amazing. No wonder the heavens are smiling in delight!

Pink Blanket of Peace

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My life lessons had stretched out in an endless series of arches to make my way through.

My life lessons had stretched out in an endless series of arches to make my way through.

After a day of extreme restlessness and nausea, where I felt claustrophobic in my own skin, I have come out on the other side. It is interesting how our bodies are such wisdom keepers. I honor mine for all that she imparts to me. During the day of unease, I searched for a way to contract into some kind of comfort. I began to think, “Oh, it is time to rent a place of my own so that I can be alone during these times.”  I was feeling the challenge of birthing the new energies in the midst of sharing space with various frequencies about me. I recognized that as a contraction, a pulling in to a perceived place of safety. My higher wisdom advised me to breathe and allow the feelings to flow through me without attaching to a need to act about them. This is so counterintuitive to our conditioning. We have been trained that if we feel something, we must then do something. In truth, to express our feelings as they arise, is all that  is necessary. We do not have to act on them unless we are truly guided to. In these times of planetary clearing and cleansing, most feelings are arising to be fully felt. They are seeking some attention and are then happy to be lovingly released. We are being gifted with a thorough vacuuming of our inner space. All the rubbish that we stored in our hearts and souls, is now wanting to be cleared out. Our divinity awaits entrance, room must be made as we are these immense beings of light. Our human bodies are so small in comparison, it is an amazing feat that we are in the process of, flowing our divinity into our human forms. We are bringing heaven to earth through our beautiful bodies.

The river flowing with my heart.

The river flowing with my heart.

Yesterday, I awoke after the best night sleep I had had in years. I felt alive and healthy. I floated in the water, took a long walk by the river, went to the farmer’s market and was enlivened by all the fresh vegies and fruits calling to me, came back and napped deeply,  lay under a shade tree and played with the dancing shadows, back into the water, drank gallons of juice, beet, carrot, cilantro, strawberry and watermelon in many different combinations. My body felt so happy! It had loosened its edges, expanded to accommodate the increased light of my divine self. I felt wrapped in a pink blanket of love and peace. The earth herself seemed wrapped in this garment of peace. A hush resounded from her heart to mine.

This morning I am awash in this pink light of love. My guidance is to live this pink. To breathe pink peace, in and out. To dance it, to tone it, to exude it. I AM this pink lovelight. There is no trying, no more thought, no more seeking. The knowing arose that I am complete. There is nothing outside of myself that I need. All is contained within as I am the all.

IMG_3668I had felt the need to release more folks, as our frequencies no longer matched. There was some sadness in this despite having done it so many times before.  I recalled that this was the way when I initially took a leap forward, I would find myself by myself and with myself for a time as the energies integrated and anchored in my form. I knew it was all temporary, simply a fading from view for a time and then the reunion as we all find ourselves back in the arms of the One. Trusting the process and the wisdom of it all. Knowing I am flowing on a river of grace.

I was gifted with a vision of completion. The work in Scotland with the Rose line of love, was the last of my heavy lifting. The death process as I left that country, was the clearing that allowed this soft, expansive, divine aspect to enter in. I am made new in these energies of love. My body now needs only rest and space to renew itself. A new life is about to be born. I am standing on the cusp of it as the Solstice and full moon approach. The energies of both are pulling me forward, like a mother’s arms supporting me, as I begin those first attempts to relax, let go and float on my back in the waters of life.

The pink allows us to come down from the cross of separation. The rose and thistle reunited as we come to know all as love.

The pink allows us to come down from the cross of separation. The rose and thistle reunited as we come to know all as love.

My heart is wide open with the wonder of it all. Who knew it was possible to move in the world with a heart on fire? Waves of leaping flames consume me, followed by a gentle blaze that I rest in. In breath and out breath……fanning the flames or calming them. All in perfect order. I am in the earth, in her fiery core, breathing with her. I pull the pink blanket of love about us and we let the flames rock us to and fro. There is only this. I am this pinkness, I am this peace, I am this love. Every pain and sorrow lived since the initial separation from Source, has been worth it. For this now, this knowing, this completion. My tone rings out in gratitude. I feel your hearts, singing with mine. We are home, once more cradled in our Mother’s/Father’s love.

 

The Phoenix Arises from the Ashes

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Through the tunnel

Through the tunnel

Hello everyone! I have been gone so long and yet it was a blink of an eye. I am now arising in my newness and feeling my way, flowing my divinity. I have lived more fully the death process, and despite the hollow sound of the husk of me rattling in the wind, I am so grateful for the space it opened.

On the morning that I awoke, knowing in all my cells that my work was done in Scotland and it was time to leave, a friend told me that I lived the phoenix experience. It was a part I chose to play here on earth. I laughed as I have done my share of dying and rebirthing but had not thought of it in that context. She said that I was on the cusp of yet another such experience.

Yosemite falls which called me to visit before I flew to Scotland. As I stood at its base with my sons, a tone was released and a mini snow storm ensued!

Yosemite falls which called me to visit before I flew to Scotland. As I stood at its base with my sons, a tone was released and a mini snow storm ensued!

Little did I know that the cusp meant that day! My guidance told me to move quickly, so I began my journey by train to my departure city,  flying out within 24 hours. During that period,  I went through the most intense death experience to date. Initiations do increase in intensity as does our ability to explore greater depths and heights of our beingness. I moved from train to hotel to bus to plane in a fog of tears as waves of emotions moved through me. I felt as if I were standing under the pressure of a huge waterfall that threatened to knock me over and drag me under. Every lifetime that I had experienced since the original agreement to explore separation, came roaring down. It cascaded over me in a torrent. Resistance was futile, this I knew. The seven weeks of work in that ancient land had left me spent. I had no resources to draw upon. There was only one path open. I opened my heart and let the water take me. I let go. I surrendered. Take me, I whispered in my heart. Take me home.

Once the waves subsided,  I found myself washed up upon an unknown shore.  I felt dried out. A husk of physicality, all juiciness sucked dry. The marrow of my bones remained. I heard the sound of my dryness, rattling in the wind. I knew nothing except that the “I ness” of me, remained. How does one move with no fluid in one’s veins? I observed as if from a great height, the being that lay taking in breaths of air through a chest filled with fluid. Water and its absence, both were present in me.

Hailstorm engulfing me, shattering the old shell of my beingness.

Hailstorm engulfing me, shattering the old shell of my beingness.

With wonder, I observed the space within. There was nothing left in me with which to resist this process. All had been washed away. I was clean and clear, no thing to move around, nothing to block my view. I floated in open space as what I knew not. There was no being to judge this experience, simply the witness, witnessing. I surrendered to the emptiness, as there was no me to forge a resistance. I and the space were one.

A soft landing awaited in California, sunshine and a soul so dear to my heart, my youngest son, my joy boy, now a man. He allowed space for my re-entry. Soft tendrils of creativity began to flow into the space of me, as I lay observing his art about me, lighting me up with its colors and form. More movement as I journeyed from San Francisco to Sacramento, once again landing in a space provided by my former husband, in my former home. I had not thought I would be here again in this way, yet here I was. Accepting the grace of it, trusting all as my I AM presence, dear Sophia, directed my movements.

My elder son greeting me, having the perfect “prescription” of music for my soul. I lie on the floor with him as he played music that brought great sobs of release. He knew my body still had releasing to do, trauma of lifetimes of hardship and heartache to move through. What a gift his perception was. All of me needing emptying. We have entered into the new lands where joy reigns supreme along with ease and grace. It is a work to let go of the struggle, the pain, the backpack full of bricks of calcified emotions of grief. The tears a healing balm despite the way they racked my form. I saw each cell open and upend its load, allowing the music to carry it away. Angelic beings surrounding me, transmuting it all into usable light once more. This is my offering. This is my skill, my talent as it were. To swim in the sea of unconsciousness, drink it in my cells, then purge it all in a great outflowing wave as it returns to its true essence of love.

How blessed I am by these two male souls who incarnated through me, with me, providing the scaffolding to stand upon as the new is in the process of construction. Wide shoulders, towering hearts. strong legs grounded in the earth…..I gifted myself with their presence for these times. My gratitude for me, for them, immense.

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A giant sequoia showing me how to be a conduit for heaven and earth.

Each day, I awaken with the excitement of an explorer, open to what presents itself. My trust is complete in dear Sophia to allow my divinity expression through this vehicle of light. I recall a moment of feeling my beloved so powerfully in me, surrounding me. My heart bursting in the bloom of that love. I wondered how I could live in the knowing of his essence and his coming into physical form. How could I live with my heart like a live coal burning in my chest? Was it possible to breathe in this flame? Did I not have to shield myself in some way? No, the next breath informed me. This is the new way. Heart wide open beyond what I knew possible, each breath expanding it further. Vulnerable in every way. This is freedom. This is what I have sought. Always the desire to breathe deeper, go farther, live more fully this liquidlovelight that is my song.

Oneness is offering itself in every moment. It is not behind any of the old doors. Within each heart stands the portal. Courage is needed to step over the threshold. The new land awaits. All of nature and life stands at the ready, to offer assistance. The trees, the breeze, the waters, the fire and the earth, herself, all line the pathway on the other side. It is one step that requires every cell in your being to desire. Oh, how I love our courageous hearts, our cells of light, our loving blood. All rushing to this threshold to be met with the embrace of oneness that takes our breath away. Inhale, exhale and I AM. In this is the story, in this is the ALL. I have heard my future self laughing for many months gone by and now I laugh with her as she and I are one. Oh, what a grand adventure we have been on! I have come home. My journey of wandering with no physical home for the past four years,  honed this truth in me. I knew it in my mind yet now I live it fully in my heart. I AM grateful to be free. I AM liquidlovelight falling through space and time, unceasing. No beginning and no end. I and my Mother/Father are ONE. Hallejuah!