The sunlight streamed a path to my feet!

Today dawned sunny and calm. I successfully found my way to the bluffs and took a long barefoot walk along the sea. It was so nourishing. I felt free and at peace. The earth fed me and I, her through the soles of my feet. Then the head pressure came back, my body asked for food and it was time to head back. I was grateful for the moments of beauty. I checked in as to whether I had the energy to fix food for myself or needed to stop and buy a sandwich. The idea of a store or restaurant felt daunting so I came back to my room and made a spinach, kale and romaine salad with a hard boiled egg and some tuna on top. I looked out at the bench by the cliff, sunlight shining. No, too far to go, better here in the shelter of the house. I ate with the sea and the tree before me. Then into the womb of bed for rest, my legs tired from their climb.

Dusk falls, tucked on the couch with a comforter and hot water bottle, tea and a

Following the curve to see where it leads.

handful of chocolate cookies at hand, I am drawn inward, wanting only the refuge of warmth and stillness. I am such a tender creature. I am reading a novel I picked up at the thrift store yesterday (Thursday special, 2 books for the price of one) about grief. The story is of a young woman of 36 who loses her husband of three years to Hodgins disease. It is making me laugh and she describes the desire to sleep, to eat cookies till you are ill, to turn from all responsibilities and decisions, to snuggle into the old sweaters of her husband for their warmth. I feel this too. I am such a tender creature. Life as I knew it, disappeared years ago. I have been floating in this in between misty world for so long. My gut tells me that we never expected to have to endure this holding pattern. It was thought that we would go…move on and be there on the other side to greet those arriving. I am good at hospitality, of sensing what others need, I trained for it in my dreamtime. Yet, here we remain, logged into this dimensional frequency while more and more awaken from the dream. Yes, that was our desire but we did not count the cost. The old ways feel so heavy, the body feels slow and dense, the sensory pleasures fleeting. I know that my palms hold magik…yes the K is there as it is the ancient kind. I could hold up my palm and create what I desired. Think it with my heart and stream it out into form. Now I have to fortify myself for the challenge of going into a store, purchasing what I need, make sure the $ are there to allow the purchase. I have to find a place that I can house my body, that allows for my frequency to move freely. Tasks that feel cumbersome, and at the very edge of my abilities. I once organized with ease in this outer world, now those abilities seem outside my ken. I am a babe in the woods, needing shelter and comfort. All efforts feel Herculian in scope and yet here I am.

Sunset through the trees.

Surrendered. Stripped down to bare essence. I AM.

There is no making sense of it, as a friend reminded me. There is only this moment and then the next. I am to move, pack the car and drive off. Destination not clear. Trusting the pathway to appear.

I hold a rock in my hand, smooth with markings that I sense I can read if I rub it long enough. I light candles, spray rose spray about and live in the small beauties. The night closes in early and spirits gather in the shadows. I am here, open to them all. Breathing in the love, breathing out the love. There is only this love.

November first found me on Whidbey Island, off of Seattle following a calling to the 48th parallel. I was grateful to have a dear friend begin the first leg of the journey with me to Mount Shasta. We stayed in our favorite hotel,which is abit south of town and has an us obstructed view of the mountain from our room. We went to the local grill for fish tacos and returned nourished for a night of fun. We began to play our crystal bowls on one another. The tones coming through were new and we realized something big was afoot. We cleared much for the divine feminine, so heavy were the energies that I had to keep stopping to clear the bowl so that it could continue with its song. As the energies lifted there came a point where the bowl was singing in joy and both of us collapsed in giggles, the like of which we have not known. A crew of Pleadian angels filled the room and we were given images of the journey into the mountain that was on tap for the night. We were both being dressed in gowns, mine gold, hers silver. The material was shimmery and sparkled like sunlight dancing on water as we walked. I was shown that this would be part of my new gift, to weave the liquidlovelight into cloth. I would make use of sunlight, starlight and moonlight! My hands were being activated along with my heart. I saw green plant material flow from my heart in woven designs. It was thrilling! My friend recalled that back in April whhad been present at the mountain for an eclipse of the moon in the wee hours of the night, I found myself on top of the mountain, dressed in a woolen garment that was light yet filled with warmth. It had been woven from sunlight.

My friend wore a crown that was made by faeries all doing gymnastics as they created new shapes, a living crown! Faeries also sat on each curl of her hair and bounced up and down in glee. Truly, all beings wish to play with us. We giggled as we realized how serious we have been about our path. The time to play is come!

We were shown a “transition train” that was being loaded. Folks and animals were boarding and we were part of an honor guard to thank them for their service. Their generation had lived lives of hardship and sorrow. They had endured and carried beliefs that no longer served the collective. They were so joy filled to drop their bodies which carried the imprint of so much wounding that regeneration was too difficult a task. There was such a sense of celebration as the earth felt the lifting of the old energies. As the train departed, we saw bands of cherubim bringing in babies streaming rainbow lovelight that lit up everything. The feeling of joy permeated us all.

Mount Shasta as dawn brought its rosy glow.

My friend and I both saw folks we know, get on the train. We shed some tears at their passing, not knowing if it had happened in the physical as yet but seeing it was close. We knew it was all part of the grand design and each soul had chosen their time to depart or enter in. I was surprised to see my sister, who had committed suicide thirty some years before, as a member of the Telos community under the mountain. She was wearing an acolyte’s robe and as she straightened my gown, she gave me a smile, acknowledging our  connection. I was so glad to see that was where she chose to incarnate after her last life.

I found this material hanging from the trees by the shore. It so reminded me of what I saw in my vision!

We were pulled into sleep as we were relating our tales, the wonderful thing for me was that we were both having the same visions and confirming it for one another. I am not usually as visual as she is so I was thrilled to be granted the visions. My third eye has had a  strange pimple like nodule on it for months now. It has begun to bleed when I wash my face. I am trusting that it has something to do with my vision coming online.

The next morning, we were called to the mountain. We drove up and before even getting out of the car, knew we were called to sleep. We dozed for about an hour and I sensed more work being done on my palms to quicken them. The day passed in a haze as we walked on the mountain and relished the sunlight.

Ashland, Oregon in its autumn beauty.

I departed for Ashland to meet another friend for the night. So beautiful to weave the lovelight with others whose hearts are singing their song. Halloween found me needing to leave the festivities of Ashland behind to honor those who were departing on this weekend of All Hallow’s Eve and All Saints Day and the Day of the Dead. The ancestors were very present and the veil barely there.

I had rented a room in a house from craigslist. All felt right and I came only to discover that the dogs were more present and numerous than I knew. The animal smell was overpowering to the point that I felt my body go into a state of shock. I was fatigued and it made it so I could not relax in my body. I cried many a tear the first couple of days. Every time someone called to ask how I was, I would burst into tears at the kindness in their voices. I slept and cried and slept some more. The head and neck pressure, the nausea, the smells….my body was on overload and I asked to be taken on the that transition train. Surely it was my time to go.

The colors of the manzanita tree are stunning.

I have such angels about me. Friends called and asked the questions that brought some relief. Yes, my body confirmed that I was here for a purpose. I was streaming in the pink/orange/gold ribbons of liquidlovelight that I work with. My body was trembling as a conduit as they streamed in so strong and fast into the 48th parallel and the meridians of the planet. There are still times, it seems, where my body is offered as a chalice for the energies to land. I am grateful that we are moving out of clearing mode into anchoring the new mode. Still, there was some clearing involved also. At such times, it takes all of me. i can only be with it, surrendering myself to the process. The full moon of today is working with me and another that I know of, to complete this infusion.

I had thought I was coming to spend the winter months up here but now see that my work is done in a few days rather than a few months’ time. The energies are so quick now! I was left wondering where I was to land next. My mind went to pieces, dissolving in tears and frustration with the need to have to do this once again. I am so beyond tired of playing this earthly game of finding shelter for the body. Why do I have to be so sensitive to everything?! It has been years since I was able to live any semblance of a normal life. I have been a hermit, a lone pilgrim, weaving my lovelight with my dear car, Maxie. Stopping here and there in the winter months in spaces with my family, who can take bigger doses of me than others. My presence activates folks and that can be uncomfortable for all. On a soul level, I understand the agreements in place, on a personality level, I am tired of it all. I am at the end of my rope with this way of being. I want to be able to participate more with life and people. I desire a partner, a home, flowers, children. Simple pleasures of community.

In my panic, I turned to friends and craigslist and the search. I could feel that it was not going to come in the old way. I knew that my frantic energy was working against me, yet I persisted.  I was being asked to trust and open to guidance. Finally,  I surrendered. I was guided to take an action out of my comfort zone and it seems it will bear fruit and a home will appear. I await the unfolding with a grateful heart. Today, I let it all go and for the first time since arriving, I found myself singing songs as I explored parts of the island. I was able to be out for a few hours, rather than just a short walk on the beach. I felt so nourished by the wind, the trees and the sea. Filled where I had been empty. Then the pressure returned and brought me back to the shelter of my room and bed.

The new has laid down a firmament that we can now walk upon. Change is the new constant and we must flow to be one with it all. I am grateful to be still standing with a heart beating. These past few days of dissolution of all that I thought myself to be and allowing of who I am becoming have been extreme. I know myself to be an extremist in the way I have walked my path. I sense that focus will now soften, that all of us who have been walking on the edge, will be called in to the center of life once again. But that is tomorrow’s story. For today I have a bed and the wind and the sea. The moon rides high over the land, blessing all with her light. Onward we go. I bless us all.