The dying milkweed releases its seeds of new life. We are in this same process now.
The chaos swirls around us and can sweep us up into its eye. There are times that I feel like an old sock, wrung out and limp. There are times that I feel like a balloon, blown up so that my belly is a drum that calls for my loosest pants. There are times where I lie upon this almost frozen ground of Northern Vermont, my face turned to the sun, my bare feet on the ground and I feel that I am plugged into a battery that recharges my system. There are times that I cannot venture outside despite the sun beckoning. There are times that lying on the couch, snacking and watching videos consumes hours so that my body rests. There are times where there is no sleep as my heart is on fire with pain or my body tired but wired with energy flowing. There are times when sharp pains come and go, times where the pain lingers and keeps me close to my nest.
Thank goodness my heart has a flame of faith that burns bright. It holds an image of the new world that I desire for myself, my children, my grandbabies, and theirs, to live in. My heart sings the notes of harmony, of peace and bliss. I know that I am in place for this transition. I am grateful for all the softness that I arranged and granted myself in this lifetime. Dear friends, who uplift me and carry my heart when it is heavy with pain. I have not found friends here since our move a year and a half ago, except for a couple of dear hearts. Yet the ones I call and communicate with, but can no longer physically be with, are my anchors in this new world. How grateful I am for each one. My three adult children are lights that hold me in their embrace and nourish me with hugs and love. My former hubby, my daughter-in-love add to the strength of my days here. My two grandchildren are pure flames of love that enrich each of my days. Their eyes are jewels, sparkling so, that at times, I almost reel from the power of their lovelight.
Gratitude flows easily, even when I am feeling the extremity of some new horror appearing on the world’s screen. The children are my hearts, the new experimental drug that is being offered to them, took me through nights of despair as I felt every intent behind this injection. I had to feel it all the way through, processing it through my body, so as to know deeply every nuance of its frequency. After wrestling with this for three days and nights, I came out on the other side knowing that my job now is to hold the children in love and ask for the highest possible outcome. I trust the greater plan to awaken more people to what is taking place in this matrix world, though it hurts my heart that children are being used in this way . As a grandmother, I stand with the other wise women in this world, to harmonize and bring all to the lovelight. May parents wake up and stand guard before their children and protect the light that they are.
The last of flowering bushes, each bud in the shape of a heart!
My days give ample opportunities for gratitude. A ten minute walk takes me to the organic farm where I pick up my fresh veggie allotment for the week. All winter long, their greenhouses produce fresh sprouts and greens, vibrant and alive. They provide recipes that help me know what to do with some veggies that I am not familiar with. Closer still is the organic meat stand where I can buy meat that has been raised here, by loving owners who care for their animals in the best ways. There is a general store that sells organic supplies, a village store that sells whatever else is needed. Our friends who keep a few cows, provide us with organic raw milk that is topped with so much cream, I find myself patting and thanking the cows when I am out at the farm. A post office with friendly workers and trails that weave in and out of the village for snowmobiles and skiers. I will be a snowshoer, free to use the paths also. It is wonderful that landowners around here, rearrange their fences in the winter in order to allow the hundred miles of trails that the local outdoor center, keeps groomed. We have yet to have snow though it is in the forecast.
The last of the color of autumn.
The best is my nine month old granddaughter who has learned to crawl to and knock on the connecting door between the downstairs and my upstairs apartment. She lets me know that she wants to come up for a visit. I am blessed that my son and daughter-in-love, have turned the upstairs of their farmhouse, into this space. My former hubby, both sons and I, worked to create a kitchen and living room from two of the three bedrooms. There remains one large bedroom with space for the six year old’s more physical imaginary play…jump off the bed, tumble on the floor, run around. I homeschool him a couple of mornings a week, while my daughter works. It is such a joy to see him reading! It is one thing that I have always loved to teach and that I promised all my kids I would do for their children, as I did for them. I am grateful to be here to fulfill this desire.
Thanksgiving approaches in less than two weeks time and its energy is flowing strongly through me. I feel the richness and depth of joy that is possible with connection and love. I breathe this out to all of humanity, that all be cherished, that all know love and that they are love. That everyone has a place where they are needed, where they are honored for who they are. May we hold steady as the old falls around us. May we not be swept into the whirlwind of collapse, but hold the center of peace. This is who we are, this is what we do. God bless us all.