Baby Steps

Do you see the giant tortoise rock in the foreground? I love how nature plays with us. I wanted to go over and ride him but there was a wire fence in between us. So I enjoyed him from this distance.

There are changes afoot. We have had glorious autumn weather, sunny skies and a flamboyant display of color by the trees. They sure shine bright before dropping their leaves. It is time for us to follow suit. To shine our lovelight so brightly that others feel cocooned in that flame. The sun has been gifting us with so much light, causing the rise of our shadows, who have only desired to be seen and acknowledged. That allows them to return to the truth of the lovelight that they are. We are made of stardust and beauty. It is time to embrace our true nature. Our shadows are a part of us and there is nothing so dark or twisted that cannot be turned into the golden lovelight that we are.

It is amazing to think how programmed we have been to feel less than. To feel we do not do things right, we are not thin enough, smart enough, witty enough, always not enough. Yet, think of the trees. They are not comparing their colorful leaves to another, not feeling burdened by their shape or their growth patterns. They are standing tall, free to be who they are. They allow the cycles of life to move through them, without hanging on when it is time to let go. They do not refuse to grow new leaves in the spring due to past hurts. They do not fail to shine when the summer light is upon them. They stand in their bareness throughout the winter, without trying to cower and cover themselves in shame or grief. Imagine if we grant ourselves this freedom. To wake to the dawn and sing our heart’s song of joy. To know that we are loved and cherished, whether we are alone or with others. To know it so deeply that it is like a chime sounding in our hearts, not counting out the hours, rather the moments.

Time is disappearing, memories are dissolving. I have a calendar to help me stay on track. Once I could plan long term. Now I record future events on it but they fade into the background. I keep a daily list..what is today? That is all that I can manage to hold in my mind. This is an example of how time is drawing closer to the now moment. We will live that way and these are the indicators of what is to come. Today I will make an appointment with the neighborhood garage to get my snow tires put on at the end of the month. The appointments book up quickly so you have to get on the books early or driving will be unsafe in the snow. Hard to conceive of snow when we have been basking in this autumn glow. Today’s cooler temperatures and rain have triggered the snow tires thoughts.

I do ask my higher self, Sophia, to keep me on track each day. She brings things to my attention that are needed in the moment. This becomes more necessary as the energies are fast! Do you feel how relentless the light has been? We are being prepared for a grand shift and there is no time to waste. I am taking a pottery class which allows my artist self to reemerge. I forgot how much energy creativity takes. I feel drained after class yet enlivened also. I have been feeling under the weather….a cough, the nose draining….found myself wishing that the class was not now but sometime in the future when I felt better. Yet, it is now and I am able for it. This is another sign of our new reality. It flows furiously by and you catch the currents as you are able. There are times, when you need to wash up to shore and take a breath and watch it run by. You cannot rest long as opportunities are flowing and we came to experience them.

The other week, I did not feel up to going to my writer’s group. I had put down some thoughts about my recent reunion trip but they felt scattered. I did not feel ready to share them. I went to the group, as friend picked me up, which helped to get me there. The group is supportive so you can choose not to read, but only listen to the others. That is what I determined to do for the first time. Yet, at the end, I was encouraged to read my piece. I was given wonderful feedback and my heart lifted. I did not want to share it in its clumsy form yet it was received differently than I had thought. How inspiring……put ourselves out there and see where the wind takes us. Allow it all.

At times, I feel so scattered by the energies, I can feel ten streams flowing through me, all in different directions. I have to breathe deeply, sit and center myself, allowing what most wants attention to flow up. I then allow that current to carry me towards whatever arose. At times, it is a still pool that opens that shows me I need rest. When I cannot decipher the path, it is an indication that I am fatigued and rather than doing, I need time to be.

There is a huge learning curve in this new energy and we are back to baby steps. I get regular doses of baby and child time to remind me that there are developmental steps that have to be mastered on the path. I learn as I witness emotions erupt and run through them with lightening speed, their stumbles only encouraging them to get up and try again, their joy as they master a new skill. Their openness to new adventures that they take on with glee. Yes, the children show me the way.

The other night I babysat my two youngest grands…..the three year old and one year old. The three year old girl, knew the whole bedtime routine and walked me through it. She praised my efforts, giving me a gold star for doing it all right from brushing her teeth to reading the right number of stories, getting the right cup and singing the songs correctly. She did prompt me through the last one. I felt chuffed to receive her praise as she can be an exacting taskmaster!

Trees and children, the moments that show up in our lives….all have something to teach us. I am a willing student, open to the gifts that pour in. I do not take any for granted and know myself blessed whether the gifts arrives as a challenge or with a pretty bow. All inform. All are made of the same lovelight as us. All of life is here to bless us. I am grateful.