Musings of the Week, Are We There Yet?

Posted on April 22, 2015 by lovelylinda

These days move with no rhyme or reason. One day, I am exhausted, spend the day in bed, reading, dreaming….so present elsewhere. Another day, I awake with energy, it comes in bursts. I wanted to be outside for more of the day, beyond the confines of the backyard. I packed a lunch and a notebook and went off to the lake. I ended up walking halfway around it before turning back. It is a seven mile loop that you can walk in the summer. There are a couple of footbridges that are removed in winter, hence, the retracing of my route.

I sat against a tree trunk to eat my lunch, drinking in the scent of pine resin released by the spring warmth. I realized how much I love that smell and the feeling of being surrounded by nature’s beauty. How camping allows that essence to seep into my pores and settle into my bones. I thought of the Grand Teton Mountains, the sparkling clear lakes of British Columbia, the shores of the Pacific Northwest and so many places I have yet to explore. I want that strength to return that allows me to be in the elements day and night. It takes stamina and energy to be outdoors, to make the fire, cook the food. Everything is a bit more of a challenge. At present, I do not have that energy. I am grateful to have a bed awaiting me, a kitchen and bathroom at hand.

A heart rock I picked up and placed in a tree to shine at passerbys.

I waded into the water until my feet were red and numb. It felt so good to feel that sharp aliveness. So much of my time is lived in a shimmery space, neither here nor there, that there is a joy in the physical sensations. I am ready to be more present in this now, with energy and enthusiasm for everything. Yet, I find myself in this space of disconnection. I am unplugged. I know that I am at work on other planes, creating new connections, new alignments. There is no pushing the timing, no skipping ahead as my weary heart desires. The patience pause…..I have become good at this. Why? Because there is nothing else. I have fully surrendered to my higher presence, to her wisdom gleaned from a broader perspective. Do I get tired of this half life? Yes……I feel beyond weary of it all.

A couple of dear friends of late have expressed concern. Am I sure that my guidance is correct? Does it make sense to continue to follow a path of Being when it has gone on for so long? Years, not simply weeks or months. We live in a world that values action and prizes productivity. I hold an extreme note of Being that sounds discordant. My friend asks, “What about creativity, are you painting?” No, only in my mind. It feels so heavy to think of gathering materials and claiming a space to create. I can lie on my bed and make use of sunbeams and cool breezes and weave them into structures and form. I dream of creating outdoor spaces that when you enter, your cells sing a song of harmony as your own beauty arises. I see towers of shimmering silk that float in undulating waves to bring shots of color and sound to those on the ground.

Everything in this reality feels dense and heavy, my body, the effort of cooking or cleaning. It is not that I do not desire to create, my palms are alive with the passion but await new tools. I want to create with light and mist and clay of the earth. All blended in new tones and forms.

Rainbows dancing in my palm delighted me.

In this now, I enjoy what is here. The bursts of energy that allow my washing to be done, the line dried sheets that offer me their fresh scent for sleep, the lilac wafting its heady scent by my bed, the thunder and lightening show lighting up the sky out my window this night, the rain falling on the roof and sweetening the air flowing over me from the open window above my bed. Gratitude is there in every breath. I take none of it for granted.

I just accidentally clicked on the notes icon and found this I wrote a month or so ago. Not sure if I used it in a blog but it fits this moment:

The trust and faith bones in our being are strengthening with each surrender, each letting go. Ours is to breathe it each moment. To know and feel it within our hearts, that the Universe is conspiring to bring us our deepest desires in ways more magnificent than our imagining allows.

Despite the weariness of soul and heart, this continues to ring true for me. It is getting closer, I feel it in my cells. I sense movement up ahead and an aspect from bygone days feels the excitement of being the one up in the crows nest, crying, “Land ho!”

aligning

Trust

Posted on April 17, 2015 by lovelylinda

I am so in love with the flow of my life. Trusting myself in every moment, fully and completely. I had had a craving for coffee. I went into town and bought myself a Bob Marley, Lively Up blend of organic coffee. Yesterday I awoke to massive head pressure, the nausea inducing kind. My head felt as large as a planet with all kinds of spinning inside. I heard, ” Go make yourself a cup of coffee. That is why you bought it. ”

Perfect! I had my coffee, stepped outside to stand on the earth and allowed a loud and full toning to move through me. I saw the pillar of light about me, felt the energy flow through into Mother Earth, knew this to be part of my transformer role. I felt her gratitude flow back up to my heart, breathed in the peace and balance. My head returned to normal size. Grace.

Beautiful drawing that came as a thank you from my son, Gabriel.

The more I trust what I am given through an image, words, signs, feeling….the more I am given. I am guided in each moment by myself. I allow that guidance to flow in, I honor it by acting upon it. The mind quiets, the emotions calm. No need to seek, to push, to arrange. It flows and I enjoy the ride. I am always in my perfect place, on time for my highest good to present itself, in place to receive all the gifts of love I desire to shower myself with. I am savoring this time.

Last night it was the joy of a new novel, hardcover, large enough type and heft for comfort. I giggled at the deliciousness of staying up late to read to my heart’s content. I went downstairs in the wee hours to get my tiny carton of ice cream, yum! How fun that for a dollar I can buy a carton of deliciousness that was a perfect match for my need for creaminess in that moment. Again a thank you to myself for foreseeing and planning for a future desire. Tuning in, listening and responding without the filter of the programmed mind as to whether something is right or wrong, is freeing.

This dog, just out of the lake, rolling in delight! Joy

Wide spaces open their doors, each set a new breath, a greater expansion. Woohoo, that Marley coffee lively upping my being! Oh yes! Here is graceland. We open, we experience and express the expansion, we live that space until the air is consumed, constriction, gasping….we open the next doorway ..over and over the dance. We can trust this. Trust the absolute love we are held in by ourselves for ourselves! I LOVE me! I am Creator swaddling and rocking this being just emerged into this now moment. The love! The love is an explosion of stars. How could I ever have not recognized the love that I am!

As we enter each new doorway, we are a babe, learning anew. We can only offer comfort, rocking, napping, food, lullabies as we stretch and grow into our new skin. Oh, tender are our hearts, our bodies, our minds. I caress myself with so much love and gentleness. In doing so, I caress you, knowing we are One. I have prayed for magic and miracle for years upon years. I am now living in that field of love. Grace, grace abounds. From my heart, streaming ribbons of multi-colored shimmering lovelight, I AM.

Soft Waves of Joy

Posted on April 14, 2015 by lovelylinda

I awoke in the wee hours as dawn was lighting the sky. There was a layer of snow on the rooftops outside my second story window. It must have turned cold in the night. I drifted back to sleep. Yesterday I had made it out to get a library card, as I love accessing the library where I am. I stopped to buy food to make veggie burritos, went through the check out lane, then surprised myself by heading to the deli for a sandwich as an immediate need for food arose. I ate till the sense of fullness sated me and went down for a few hours nap. I often feel urgency in my need for food, rest, movement. I could actually feel greater aspects of myself, getting my body into bed, safely tucked in, so as to allow myself to be on time for council meetings and creative endeavors in other dimensional spaces. The fullness in the belly allowed the long sleep necessary, just as we did for our babies, before a nap. We are being looked after like infants, my higher self, the caring parent.

This morning I desired a chocolate croissant and a coffee. There were other things I desired to do in town… a haircut is needed, veggies for a soup…but I can only do one thing at a time at present. No multi-tasking for this woman and I used to be great at it. So, drove into town, got my warm chocolate croissant and coffee, stopped along the road to commune with the mountain in her misty robe, came back and sat in the sun, savoring every bite and drink as well as the smells and sights about me. Pine trees wafting their fragrance, tulips so perky and bright even after being covered for a day in a blanket of snow, watched a bluejay squawking……he lifted his wings in the air with every squawk. Quite a morning workout!

I am savoring this dreamtime. We are transforming into more and more of our true beings. It is quite a process, we will not pass this way again. I feel such tenderness for this being, Linda Marie. I watched a short video (Facebook brings many things into my world) made by the Dove soap company. They targeted a few big cities around the world, put up signs at the entrance to someplace that in the video only women entered. Above one entrance was the word, beautiful, above the other, average. They had hidden cameras to watch women as they chose which door to enter. Most entered the average door though in interviews many women spoke of how they wanted to know themselves as beautiful and feel it enough to enter the beautiful door. It was so powerful to watch as women struggled to access that thought of their own beauty. I was in tears. The conditioning has been so strong and relentless to feel less than, to feel small and powerless, to assign positive attributes to others but not self.

I am dreaming a world where all would enter the beautiful doorway, as we would each know on a cellular level, that we are beautiful. To know our blossoming, to feel the beauty arise in a continuous circuit within, to have it reflected in the eyes and words and actions of others about us.

Let us see the tender shoots of each one’s growth, open to the remembrance of our magnificence, catch the starlight shining forth from our eyes. It never was about the outer form. We each choose our form as the perfect expression for what we came here to do. These dear bodies serve us well. All the rules and ideas about what beauty and health is, are imposed upon us. It is time to look inside and read the writings of our own history in the cosmos. We are masters, come to play on and with this beautiful planet.

I spoke with my eldest son, who often feels the weight of the world. He was feeling joy. He said a smile kept arising on his face that threatened to lift him off his feet! My heart sang with his joy. In this moment, it wafts through me in a smile as I listen to a rendition of Alleluia and sew buttons onto my comforter cover. Simple pleasures that fill me with satisfaction. The idea had been there for weeks as the down comforter spilled out from its cover and now the moment of joy in the repair, was present.

As I move about in my slumber, I trust fully in this process. Knowing that my time of activity and passion will come again, in its perfect moment. Trusting the fertile nature of this time and that I will live to see and experience its fruition. Even in that, no attachment either way as I am grateful to live this now moment and offer what is mine to do. I am seeing more about me, embodying their gifts, letting go of what no longer serves. We are growing in leaps and bounds. What wonderful beings we are. Feeling your beauty and my own with a grateful heart. Alleluia.

Entering the Dreamtime

Posted on April 12, 2015 by lovelylinda

The mountain informed me that I would need a week of rest in her to come back from the effort of the eclipse portal. Yesterday I did not stir far from my bed nor change out of my pajamas and robe. I dove deep in the waves moving in dreamtime. Today, I watched the overcast sky open up to allow the clouds to dance freely. I showered and dressed, then needed a rest. I made myself some food, eggs and greens, fast and easy. I got out everything to make a juice but the thought of cleaning up afterwards was too daunting to face. Lemon water will do just fine!

Back to bed to watch the birds soar outside the window. I wanted clean sheets for my now clean body…a load of laundry begun. Sat in the living room with the fire and saw the mountain come out from the curtain of clouds to bask in the glow of the setting sun. She is so beautiful. I curl up in her embrace.

A friend spoke of how this time is full of new ideas and how she is taking action steps into new projects. I was so glad for her, for the excitement and joy. For me, there is no arising passion other than to see each one of us embrace our own beauty and feel the winds of freedom lifting us higher. Nothing concrete in the outer world, no form. Yet I know that this dreamtime, where I exist in the shimmering lands of mist and magic, is a place of immense power. I am dreaming the new into being. I ride the feelings of peace and joy and harmony without form. I sense the joy, the laughter and play. I am not living it in the outer, but in this inner dreamtime, I am carried by it and dance to its tune.

I observe many being pulled into the quiet inner world, desiring solitude, open spaces that allow the dream. I have had a vision of us all entering the new land through the dream. What if everyone were to sleep and awaken, to find a new reality awaiting them? Hearts could burst wide open, no painful memories of what was or confusion as to what is real…rather the joy and ease of their lovepod embracing them. Ah…I have a dream…as Martin Luther King so eloquently expressed his. We each contribute to the dream with the fire of our hearts.

Evening, still not able to venture out. Clean sheets awaited, it felt like a huge accomplishment to actually make the bed. Bags unpacked, room straightened. Sometimes the density of this reality takes a Herculean effort to move through. I am immensely grateful that I created this opening in my life, to live the dreamtime. I am connected to Australian Aboriginal lifetimes where I knew the dreamtime intimately. Those lives have circled closer this past week, bringing memories, opening doorways.

One of my son, Gabriel's latest paintings. The blossoms seem to waft their fragrance into my world.

One of my son’s latest paintings. The blossoms seem to waft their fragrance into my world. gaberobertsart.com

We are remembering so much. Specifics hold little interest for me, rather the feelings and gifts are what I seek. To feel part of it all, the Oneness that underlies this surface life. To know myself in the flame, the scent of the flower, the cloud drifting by, in the eyes of a child, the touch of a hand, the rainbow thrown by a crystal, the smile of a stranger. We were taught separation and distance and lack. How powerful we are that we made it all believeable! Oh, the joy to have come out on the other side, to know once again the truth of how we are loved! To feel the unity and sink into its warmth. I know that the world does not reflect the fullness of this truth as yet. It moves closer as we each surrender to the dream of our hearts.

We have weeded out the dross, planted our desires, fertilized with our love. It is the time of blossoming. We have only to hold the vision of the rose, knowing and trusting that it will bud and unfurl its beautiful bloom. This earth is our home, a jewel in the Creator’s crown. We are each a facet of that shine. Turn on your heartlights so as to dazzle all creation. Know the truth of your hearts which sing a song of love. Let all else melt away. Love, beauty, truth and the dream. Always, the dream.

Windows of Opportunity Open and Close

Posted on April 10, 2015 by lovelylinda

Geese moved to the rooftop as we left the meadow.

The energies swirl and shift like the wind. I am so aware of divine timing. When the timing lines up, you are given the opportunity to go and it behooves one to move quickly! I was not feeling that I could make the drive to Sacramento to get my dear friend in place for her departure. I opened to what other possibilities were present. My friend knew of possible ride with a couple she had recently met. She sent off a message while I showered and prepared for the day. I began to gather things as if to go, without thinking I was going. Suddenly, I knew that we had a window to depart…was given five minutes. My friend responded with alacrity and we were in the car. One thing remained to be done with the mountain to complete this phase of our work. First, fuel ..stop for coffee and bagel in town. Felt into where we were required to be. An image of the meadow with the boardwalk floated in, yes! Off we went. We parked next to two geese sitting on the edge of the road. We walked quickly down the boardwalk, my friend setting the pace. I felt where she would stop and we would begin. She did stop in that spot, we shed our shoes and socks, stood in the snow and…her arms flew as she did what she was called to. For me, a deep, loud toning began instantly, surprising me with its intensity. Just as suddenly it stopped, we dried our feet, put on our shoes, went back to our car and headed off. We flew down the road, carried in the sunshine and warmth.

The layers of clouds that opened and closed with the sun on our drive.

There were to be four of us gathered, we were to be in the meditation room at a friend’s house. The friend from Scotland had not been in that room despite having spent days at the house. She knew it was not time, now it was. We sat outside, soaking in the sunshine, laughing and enjoying the information that came through us for one another. It was playful and nourishing. The room called, time to move in. We had crystal and Tibetan bowls, gathered the skulls and crystal beings who asked to join us. We sat anchoring the four directions, each knowing her place. The space opened and it all began. Bowls and voices sang songs ancient and deep, dialogues in other languages, translated by the heart, came through from other lands and time. We were our ancient selves, come again, on time for an appointment set from ages long passed. How deep the love and knowing of our souls! Each played our part, all acting in one accord, flowing harmoniously through time and space. Many joined in, a celebration and acknowledgment of a phase completed. Future gatherings shown.

I trust the universe and myself, so completely. All is known as we open our hearts to it. We are becoming more fluid as that is how we are able to flow with the energies. If we try to push against the current, we get battered. By aligning and allowing and attuning, we catch the wave that will carry us farthest with the most ease and joy. Our times of being rolled under the surf lessen and we experience the exhilaration of riding the crest with the spray dancing its joy across our bodies.

Crystal beings playing.

I do not understand most of what I do. I feel it, follow it, open to it and allow myself to be the purest chalice that I am able to in any moment. I sense the acknowledgment from my Christed aspect when I hit my mark and deliver my lines beautifully. I am grateful to be of service. I need not know the whole picture, but rather know that I have played the part I have been given to the best of my ability.

As my Scottish friend left on the plane, I left by car. Grateful to be back here in Mount Shasta to dream and rest with the mountain. The next phase begins. Body worn but a vision of playful rejuvenation has been given. Oh! It could happen like that?! Opening to this next moment with a full heart. How beautifully we are learning to play this game. It gets so much more fun as we each begin you trust our gifts and let our light shine. I love us all! Thank you for playing your part!

Eclipse Cycle Complete, Now?

Posted on April 8, 2015 by lovelylinda

Snow! Magical day here in Mount Shasta.

The past few days have been interesting. I have needed lots of rest. There has been some newness in the emptiness and quietness inside. Waking from sleep with my mind looking for a tether, a foothold to begin the day. Finding none, it has been a bit frantic. I watch thoughts arise and disappear, the usual stickiness is not there. My mind searches through the familiar scroll: kids, friends, place to live. None if it offers a perch, a resting spot. I breathe and allow myself to stretch and move in this space. Is this where expansion takes place? Is this what is meant? Slightly unnerving but I am here.

Until I am not…now one in the morning, listening to today’s magical snowfall dripping off the roof. I sense how it is nourishing the earth with its moisture. Suddenly a thought popped in about my car. The engine check light came on earlier. I took it to the garage and had it looked at. The guy said he cleared the code, it was a fourth gear torque converter error. He told me he did not work on transmissions , I would need to go elsewhere for that. We had a nice chat, I then went off to take my friend, who is visiting from Scotland, around to the shops in town. We are planning on driving to Sacramento in the morning as she flies out the next day.

I felt no unease about the car…just that she is old, a 1995 with a ton of miles from my years of traversing this country and Canada. At some point, I felt we would both be getting our new forms…she her Pegasus body, me my light body. Both so us look and feel a bit worse for wear and could do with an upgrade. I had felt it would come before me having to take action in the physical. I have become very fond of Maxie and did not want to replace her.

Blossoms frozen

Yet, my mind suddenly latched on to this error code and it came washing in with an urgent energy…is the car safe to make an eight hour round trip? It had not even occurred to me during the whole garage experience though I took it in to be checked. I had been in the day before as I had smelled gas. The guy could not find any leaks anywhere. He checked it again today…let it run for ten minutes, nothing. I went in search of the paper where he wrote down this error code, tried looking it up on Maxima forums but it is like a foreign language to me.

No idea what any of it means except perhaps I need to begin to have a couple of friends, who know about such things, start searching for a new used car for me. Now 1:20a.m. and that spin cycle has completed. I”ll call my mechanic in Sacramento in the morning for any insight and proceed as planned …or not! It all feels softer, as if I am viewing life through a filter. The highs and lows muted. A gentleness present within and without.

So the peace and quiet is there, until it is something else. I realize I do not feel up to this trip, wanting only to sink in to days I can sleepwalk through. Yet my moods shift with the energies and I know the joy will surface and point out the timing that flows. I do sense a return to more solitude and my own rhythm. This morning I went out for a joy filled walk in the winter wonderland that was today. I felt quickened and enlivened with the big wet snowflakes falling about. I came in and made us some French toast, delicious! Then my body craved sleep, I felt like the scene from The Wizard of Oz where they all fell asleep in the poppy fields. That drugged feeling where you are taken down deep. I could have slept for hours. We had planned to leave today but my body was not agreeing nor was the weather with its winter storm warnings on the pass.

Living in the mist…between worlds, shimmering.

In all, wonderment is present. Gratitude a constant. Spaciousness being explored. Body still integrating with sleep and insomnia playing their parts. Healthy foods are not the fuel at present, switched from green to brown…French fries and burger hit the spot as my body craved warm density that my usual roasted root veggies did not provide. Trusting her to know what she needs. Heart feels expanded, a rich softness flowing.

I am here, you are here. We are doing so well! Much has been accomplished, flickers of knowing flare inside. Steady on, heartlights turned to high beam. And so we go.

No Sleep As Full Moon and Good Friday Approach

Posted on April 4, 2015 by lovelylinda

The sky is beginning to grow lighter as I lie here surveying my night. I have bitten all of my fingernails, something I have not done in years and years. It was a childhood habit only overcome at the age of eighteen when I was to be an exchange student to a small town in West Australia. I realized then that I was being given an opportunity to remake my life, to transform from a quiet, shy young woman with bitten nails into one who did not hide my hands nor my heart. Forty years later, I am set for another transformation. I am glad I am no longer carrying shame for having bitten my nails, somehow I found some comfort in the action that helped me through this night. Our humanness is so tender, these dear bodies and personalities that have experienced so much.

A plate with the remains of my one a.m. snack of cheese, crackers and chocolate chips….(the chosen snack of champions!), rests on the nightstand. A book, reread for the dozenth time, tossed on the floor. Duvet twisted with the tossing and turnings as my body tried to find comfort through the long hours. Computer in use again after late night facebook scrolling. I am grateful for the moon lighting the night sky, illuminating Mount Shasta so I had the comfort of her white robed presence through the night. The geese have flown over every hour, their honks a reassurance to my ears along with the train whistles as they hurled through the night.

Tomorrow morning at this time, I will be well down from the mountain where we will drive to watch the five a.m. Lunar eclipse. I am intending transformation. Opening to the gifts flowing in for us all. Today is Good Friday, the day this Catholic girl walked the stations of the cross in humility and faith, went to the church hall for the final fish fry of Lent and finally home to say all the prayers I knew before allowing myself to sleep, the weight of the cross on my back.

i am grateful to no longer feel that weight. To walk in my own mastery. To have recalled that lifetime and drained the pain from it, knowing now the beauty of what was accomplished. Feeling the part I played and how we are reenacting the pageant with a larger cast to a much wider audience. This one holds tears of joy as we glimpse the freedom that is come for all.

Our eclipse grid

The soft pink light of dawn barely brushes the sky. My heart overflows with tears to be in this now. I feel all the struggles, the striving, the living the questions, the silent pain, the yearning for home, the heartbreak of the plans that failed over lifetimes. All present and accounted for. And yet…we are here. The excitement is visceral as we sense the tipping point has been reached. We have this! There is no turning back. Mother Earth is on the move and we are with her. I have been working deep underground for this time between eclipses. The head and body pressure has been enormous as I and others offered ourselves as safety valves to release some of the pressure. Only so much can be let off in this manner. Some of the shifting will show up on the surface where folks will be affected. My heart grieves with this yet also holds the greater vision and feels the joy of the final pieces coming into play to anchor us fully into this new era of love.

Cinderella’s Message

Posted on March 31, 2015 by lovelylinda

The blossoming trees do not hold back from expressing their beauty. They shine!

I love how movies can bring us messages. I recently watched the new Cinderella. Her mother drums into her three things; have courage, be kind and believe in magic. These serve her well for the most part. In being kind, she followed a pattern we have been programmed with. She was kind, to a fault towards others, while allowing herself to be abused in the name of kindness. Only when her stepmother threatened to use her in a way that would harm her prince, did she stand up and say no more. How often have we done this, allowed ourselves to be dishonored and abused, yet standing up for others that we care for. The message we inherit is to be kind to all, except ourselves. Somehow we feel we can bear it for ourselves but not for others. Yet in truth, we are all one. So by allowing ourselves to be mistreated, we allow that behavior to continue. It is time to know that kindness begins, first and foremost, with ourselves. We serve no one by accepting abuse of any kind, not physical nor emotional. It may not leave marks, but emotional abuse is every bit as damaging to our hearts. This is coming to an end as we each learn to love and honor ourselves. We are deserving of every bit of kindness that we can muster. Our hearts thank us as we gift ourselves.

This lily holds her treasures close as she begins to unfold her beauty.

The most powerful scene of the movie for me, was when Cinderella was walking down the stairs to meet the prince once again, this time in her rags, to try on the glass slipper. She pulls from her stepmother’s arms, who is reminding her that she is nothing and nobody and not worthy of love, (that inner critic we all know so well) and she knows this is the moment where her life turns. She can play small and accept the vision her stepmother has created of her or she can stand tall and know herself as the love that she is. She passes a mirror on the stairway, sees her ragged reflection, lifts her chin and walks like the royalty that she is. She chooses to stand in her truth. Before trying on the slipper, knowing it will indeed fit and make her a princess, she asks the prince if he will accept her as she truly is. Not a servant girl, not a fairy princess but as a true kindhearted being full of love. His response displays his truth as he says, yes. His condition is that she accept him, not in the role of prince, but as a young man doing his best to live a life of truth. The prince had to defy convention by not marrying to create advantages for his kingdom, but to follow his heart. They each open to embodying their truth at the risk of losing the one that they love. As truly, it is only in doing so, that the love can flourish.

As warmth enfolds her, the lily blossoms into her full beauty, just as each heart does when it feels the warmth of love.

How often have we turned from one who truly saw us, as we feared to let down our mask. We have been indoctrinated that we are not worthy and we play this out by choosing to be with those who do not see us, rather than the one who will open our hearts to our own love and truth. This was beautifully expressed in another movie, You’re Not You.Hillary Swank plays the role of a beautiful young pianist who gets Lou Gehrig disease. Her outer life shrinks as her inward life grows. A young tough, hardened woman becomes her caregiver and friend. They each teach one another so much about love. Hillary moves from victim consciousness to taking responsibility for the demise of her marriage. She tells her husband that, “We created this.” It is not just his fault. She recalls him looking at her early in their relationship, and how she made the decision in that moment, to be the woman that he saw rather than to be herself. She remembers a man who saw her truly and how she turned from him, choosing instead the one who could not see her. We are freeing ourselves from these false notions, realizing the price we pay when we try to be someone who we are not. The young woman in the story has allowed herself to be used by a married professor while there is a young man who sees her truly. Both of the women’s mothers fill their heads with tales of “you are not enough, you are not acceptable as you are”. It takes such courage to allow ourselves to be seen, with no cloak, no mask, no cover up. To turn from the programming of old and embrace what our hearts know. I think of us all standing naked before our own higher self, before the Creator. There are no fancy shoes or clothes or degrees or roles to identify us. There are only our hearts’ flames to tell the story of who we are. Our flame shows up in our eyes, which are indeed the windows to our souls, broadcasting our truth for others to see. To look deeply into another’s eyes, is to fall in love. We are one being, coming to recognize ourselves. How beautiful our world becomes!

Emptiness

Posted on March 30, 2015 by lovelylinda

I have been floating in the sea of emptiness. A new space where I witness my mind searching for tethers, whether to others, to place, to memories. There are none. The thought arises but there is no sticking point, nothing to adhere to. It is as if there has been a complete disconnect from all that is or has been. I sense it is a necessary step before we are connected into the new grid of oneness. It is not unpleasant, no positive or negative charge. Being with what is, has become easier. Dropping into my heart, connecting to Source, is the only space left. I can be there yet I am not floating in waves of bliss or love. Rather, I am being with this emptiness and it is enough. I am not seeking more, not seeking to move from this space. I am here, in neutral. It is enough to be here.

Called to the ocean and the redwoods for my work, communing with their vastness and ancient wisdom.

In this space of emptiness, time is ephemeral. I have to concentrate to place myself in a month, a season. Again, attaching to anything no longer works. I receive imprints of energy that I translate into my work. I have been working on my latest assignment. A friend is here from Scotland and we have been working together as well as with others. I was a bit surprised to find myself on another “undercover” operation as I had thought that time was past. Yet there is so much taking place in this period between the solar and lunar eclipses and there are still errant energies swirling to deter and distract. The resurrection energies of Easter are so very present as the opportunity for embodying Christ consciousness is here. I know I am in my perfect place as I work to complete this week’s solo assignment. (there truly is no solo assignment as many in other realms assist me). A group was together to celebrate the birthday of one dear to me. As much as I would have liked to join in, I knew where I was called to be. I was shown there would be no difference between night and day, so I was prepared for the deep sleeps in the day and the awake states in the night. My body can feel drugged as I am laid flat in bed, suspended in that semi-conscious state where much can be accomplished. I am learning to feel into the energy of my body, to become the swirling particles that can flow and dance with form. This has been a high alert time, all hands on deck, for the highest outcome for the greatest good for all. We are all working to bring this about.

The sunlight, a spotlight for these fragile beauties rising from the dark forest floor.

I feel the privilege of being embodied now and offering myself in service to our Mother Earth and the Creator. I am aware that I embodied so as to be present in this now and to do what I am doing. Everything else falls away as I devote myself to this task in gratitude. It takes all that I have. I saw myself as a pile of dust at the end date I was given. I feel ok with that. It seems we came to use our bodies up, to utilize every ounce of our being in this now. There is nothing to hold back for, this is the moment. I will have no regrets that I stepped back, kept something in reserve for the future. There truly is only now. To show up with all of ourselves in every moment, to have our hearts wide open, to feel everything that flows through, to respond to our internal waves of knowing…. this is the path I choose.

These truly are holy days. That life so many of us walked with our brother and our sister, Jesus and Mary Magdalene, over two thousand years ago, is present. We are asked to walk it now, owning our mastery. Bringing forth the teachings of love anew, facing the crucifixion and living the resurrection flame. Our wisdom of myriad lifetimes flows forth to assist us as do the masters of the ages. ETs, Galactics, Agarthans, Devas, elementals, ascended masters, angels, the earth herself, all are here offering their all in service to the Creator. We are a part of a pageant of epic proportions and we are the stars of the show. Amazing. Kind of takes your breath away when you feel it.

A candle flame keeps me company through the night. Soon dawn will splash her pink hues across the mountain face. Spring is showering me in her petals of light, allowing me to drink deep of her scents and be nourished by her warming beauty. My heart bows down in gratitude.

Exhausted and Grateful

Posted on March 22, 2015 by lovelylinda

Love this sign on the bridge I walk daily…no jumping off allowed! We are crossing the bridge into the new. Once you set foot upon it, there is no turning back.

Did you hear and feel the crowds of spectators cheering in the stands? We did it. We have accomplished so much with this Vernal equinox/eclipse. For myself, this past couple of weeks was the culmination of every lifetime since I first incarnated on the planet. All hands were on deck as we worked to allow the greatest clearing possible for every man, woman and child. We all felt the intensity as triggers excavated the muck and mire from our depths, dredging it to the surface to be illuminated and consumed by our heartlight. I certainly felt flashes of anger that held the fire of a dragon, desiring to scorch everything in its path. The test was could I feel the anger and not judge myself for my feelings? A friend assisted me with a beautiful demonstration when we went for a walk with her dog. She is a peaceful being but would bark loudly if anyone came close to my friend’s car. The dog was protective of her space. My friend shared how when she had been in her moon time, she would “bark ” at anyone who came into her space. That might appear as bitchiness but she framed it as her ” bark” that alerted others to stay out of her space. She honored that part of herself as she claimed what she needed at that time. How refreshing! I know I spent time every month beating myself up for “barking” when truly I needed my space. Her way was full of grace.

This last week, I witnessed the highest possible potential being searched for in every moment, for each of us as we move forward. Truly awe inspiring, affirming for me, how deeply we are loved and cherished.

Crystals from the gathering, gifted by a friend to go out with each one, where they feel led to place them in the earth.

Today I am exhausted. I awoke to stillness here in my former home. So grateful for the familiarity and beauty that offers a peaceful respite from the gathering I was called to be a part of. I felt gratitude for my friend and former hubby for allowing me use of his home for the weekend. I had had a dream of him tearing out the bushes and plants I had planted, smashing our son’s sculptures that decorate the gardens. I knew it was a further loosening of my connection to this home a letting go of old patterns, of all that no longer serves. The thought flowed through of turning back the clock, wanting to move back into this house and the former partnership, after all, he is softer and more aware these days. I have not had this thought since the divorce. It was as fleeting as a breath. I thought of the years since, the money spent on travel, on assisting my children to find their path, on assisting others. That money could have secured me a home of my own. I would not be living this transient lifestyle. How I appreciate my mind! Our minds can be intense in their role, imprisoning us in the old through regret, shame, guilt. I had not felt regret in all these seven years but it surged through, seeking the cleansing fires of love. Tears flowed washing the emotional wave to the shore. Emptied of self, of form, dissolved in the sands. The next wave lifted what remained and returned me to the ocean of love that is my home.

The morning before, after a mostly sleepless and pain filled night (the body feels so heavy in these energies) I awoke from an intense dreamscape. I was carrying a little baby in my arms. I was opening doors, searching for the parents of this baby. Each door was an opening into a different dimensional space…astral, celestial and so on. None the one I was seeking. Until I opened a door where two men were present. They both felt familiar to me. One came forth and kissed me. We shot in a spiral of energy straight to Source. My eyes flew open wide and I exclaimed, ” Who are you? ” he said, “ I am Adam. I sm your beloved.” I asked him whose baby I held. He told me that the baby was ours, birthed together in another dimension. It was a power filled dream. Adam, the first man of Biblical tales or the Adam Kadmon body blueprint we are to inhabit. It left me full of wonder and echoed my knowing that my heart’s desires are swirling in my field, about to be made manifest.

Sitting on a throne nature offered me!

I see myself using my hands and heartlight to create form. In the shimmering landscape of my heart, all is malleable and desires to co-create. This reality has been dense, difficult to move. Where we are headed, it is fluid and form arises and dissipates in response to our thoughts. I have known this for ages but the knowing is becoming more visceral as the frequencies support it.

I am lying here in appreciation of my courageous heart. This has not been an easy path. I have arisen each day, opened to my guidance, following it on many difficult pathways. How beautifully I have walked it! Today as I feel gratitude for each of you, your exquisite hearts of love, I bow before my own in reverence and love.

Liquid Love Light

heart whispering, sound healing, writings, art

Author Archives: lovelylinda