Powerful Days

Posted on March 18, 2015 by lovelylinda

Heart cloud floating on Mount Shasta.

Time is morphing, creating interesting days. A day can contain an age of energy, a month can disappear. Today was dense, hard to recall where it began. I have not slept much the past couple of nights and tonight seems to be following the same pattern. Last night I watched a mist arise outside, it felt full of magic. This morning as I went outside to stand barefoot on the ground and soak up the rays from the sun that was dissolving the mist, I felt a new energy arise from the earth. It was light and bubbly. The birds were singing loudly in the trees, the cool air felt energizing, the creek rushed by in the gully below, infused with the recent rains. Blessed, I felt blessed.

Seven white doves appeared in front of my car as I went to drive. I learned that a neighbor has a dovecote. They were so beautiful in their pure whiteness. Blessed, I felt blessed.

I met a new friend, soul family from other ages, for a hike up Spring Hill. Amazing hike, new to me. There were a couple of benches and picnic tables (Boy Scouts’ Eagle projects..well done) placed along the way that looked out on views of the mountain. Someone was given permission to cut branches off some mighty trees to frame the views. Blessed, I felt blessed.

A huge heart rock listening to our beloved talk.

Heart rocks appeared every few feet on the trail. As my friend and I stopped, deep in discussion about beloveds, she said, “look there”. A huge heart rock was lying on its side right next to us. We shared our understanding of the beloved relationship, our conversation creating a greater understanding and depth of knowing. We reflected for one another the journey we have been on, drawing strength from our shared experiences and visions. Blessed, I felt blessed.

I came home after hours outdoors on this day of mega solar activity, hungry and tired. I had half of a burrito in the fridge, leftover from yesterday’s stop at a cafe, which I consumed in a frenzy of need. I had stopped to fill my water bottle at the headwaters’ spring, I guzzled it and retreated to the silence and peace of my room and bed. The head pressure has mounted throughout the day. I lie in my bed and watched the light play across the mountain face, clouds casting fantastic shadows. As evening came on, I watched a pink glow light up its face. Then all retreated into the shadows of night. Blessed, I felt blessed.

View from my bed.

Darkness is here. I spoke with both my sons, checking in on how they were doing. Sharing our experiences of this day. New insights abounded, greater alignment to our truth for all. I looked out my window and saw the sky full of brilliant stars. They called me out and I found myself standing barefoot on the ground, looking up and calling out greetings to our star family. I recalled that it was only this morning that I had stood in the same spot, feeling the freshness of the day. Blessed, I felt blessed.

Bird observing the morning mist roll away. Me observing the bird!

I stopped in the kitchen on the way back up to my room and filled a bowl with chocolate almonds and pieces of ginger. The perfect combination for my late night tummy. Sometimes sugar is all that satisfies. I wanted to make a cooling smoothie but the vita mixer is so loud and the hour too late with roommates to consider. It will have to wait for morning. I found a sweet video on youtube, a romance. Light and dear and just right for late night. Blessed, I felt blessed.

Now it is about to become a new day. Perhaps my body will sleep. The train whistles its lonely sound across town. Somehow I am comforted by its whistle. Canadian geese fly overhead a few times a day. I hear them come through the trees behind the house and watch as they fly over , out the window to the front. Their honking comforts me also, a frequency transmitted that is adding to the wonder that is building. All of creation is participating in this time. Blessed, we are blessed.

Sweet mountain, I love her so.

Every part of me is spent. Yet I am quivering with energy. The air is charged with this newness. The earth is vibrating it, my body simply humming along with the rest. There is no knowing how, what, when, where all this will lead. But the energy is building. I know I am working 24/7 on inner and outer planes. This is it! cries my soul. I can sense the frenzy, the aligning of the highest possibilities for all……awe inspiring, truly. We are creating this along with so many others. The scale is beyond my human capacity to comprehend. I sense it, I am part of it, knowing and not knowing anything. Open to all. Heart on fire. Will I even survive it in the physical? Matters not. I am here. I asked for this. I asked to be a full participant. Blessed, I know myself blessed.

Entering The Holy of Holies

Posted on March 16, 2015 by lovelylinda

The sun broke through on a walk, lighting my heart’s flame.

The weather has been mirroring my mood of late. A blanket of clouds, like a gentle weight has covered my world, muffling sensations. I have been called to stillness in my body as my being traveled and worked beyond the deep white layer. There, all is in motion as so much must be aligned for the upcoming equinox/eclipse cycle. There are certain people whom I must be with physically to swirl our codes, it can be a matter of moments, yet crucial they are. New soul family members have appeared and a high heart portal was opened. My job was to tend it with my heart, feeding it as one would a fire. When I went out for a walk to the lake, I was shown the grid to set that would allow the energies to continue to circulate. After a 24 hour period, it was anchored.

The high heart grid, turquoise and pink.

My work has been, for the most part, solitary. I enjoy people but on a more intimate scale of two or three rather than a group. At times though, it is necessary to partake of group activities. I attended an evening gathering with Leopold, the lapis skull, who is my companion, at his request. He desired to anchor the divine masculine presence. He was called to return for the next day’s event but I was not. I left him with a new soul sister. I have spent the day lying in bed, head pressure on and off, resting the body while I worked in other realms. He was fully present in his arena and I in mine. Balancing one another as the weaving continues.

This space of time is holy to me. Often, these weeks leading up to Easter have seen my soul calling me in deep. This year, this time, feels new. There is a great blossoming, an anchoring of the Christ consciousness that is possible as never before. The feminine Christ has returned in recent years to bring her flame through Mary Magdalene. She has softened hearts, opened the intuitive channels in us all, shown us the blessings of her love. The divine masculine has opened to acknowledge, accept and honor her. We are coming to wholeness within, as each claims their own divine masculine and divine feminine natures. Divinity, our birthright, our truth.

Daffodils, harbingers of spring’s renewal.

We are being gifted as never before. There is nothing to do other than to surrender to the love and open to its gifts. Allowing ourselves to flow with all that comes in these holy days leading up to Easter and our own resurrection. This is the second coming. We are the Christ, if we accept this consciousness. There is great responsibility that comes with it as all thoughts are formed from the perspective of the good of the whole rather than from a personal perspective. As we walk our truth, we come to see that if we are aligned, our choices are for our greatest benefit as well as all others. All choices must include the good of our Mother Earth’s well being along with our own. We know oneness on a cellular level and it informs all. Love is the answer in everything. Be love, live love, breathe love.

On the past Solstice, I was told of my departure. Yet, I remained. Now I know why. We are living in the times I came for. There is magic afoot, beyond what I have known on this earthly plane. I almost have to pinch myself with the realization that it is now! There have been so many delays, so much hardship. The sense of battle weariness has pervaded every cell in my being. I am celebrating myself and each one of you for still standing, still holding the love light on high, still trusting that this earth can ascend into the realms of love.

The peace that is offered to us.

This eclipse cycle holds a magic key. Look for it, open to it, use it! Ask for assistance from the angelic realms, the galactic realms, our sun, the devic and elemental kingdoms and so many others as they stand by our sides, ready to catch us, support us, cradle us. All hands are on deck. We approach the moment when all is in readiness. I have always felt that it would be “a blink of an eye” when this reality shifts on the physical plane. When I feel into the future, it shimmers. I sense a new firmament that dances and flows in response to our heart light. Weaving strands of liquidlovelight, we will create beauty unheard of. We are so ready to live in love and peace. To experience freedom on a scale we have not imagined.

To pass from this plane to the next, we need drop our old beliefs and stories at the door. They are worn out and will not serve in this shimmering land of love. Our bodies, our minds, our spirits are ready to live a new story. We get to write the script together! Hallelujah! My heart soars. God bless this earth and all upon her.

Inner Fire

Posted on March 11, 2015 by lovelylinda

After days of brilliant sunshine, yesterday dawned with a pink glow on the mountain that was soon enveloped in a white mist that spread into a wool blanket over this place. Everything felt muffled and muted. A wintry feel that matched my inward desire. It was a day for staying in my robe and pjs, lying on the couch, staring into the flames of the fire, dissolving into the whiteness outside. I did go out at one point to walk barefoot on the grass in the yard, but otherwise, it was a tea and toast kind of day. Bodily comfort reigned as I walked between worlds. No desire to speak to anyone or deal with anything beyond heating up some water and food. A day for communing with my heart’s flame.

Today the white blanket persists but my energy is more communicative. A walk feels possible and some talks with friends. I have learned to honor my body’s rhythms, allowing the quiet days and the active ones. Riding the wave of energy as it presents itself.

My dreams have been active in releasing old energies. Interesting situations arising, experiencing the pain or sorrow. Taking time to breathe it through as I awaken with emotions running. Calling in the violet flame angels to transmute it all. Thanking myself for releasing in dreamtime…an easier path than on this physical plane.

Spoke with one dear to my heart, he was experiencing extreme anger at the news of someone killed by police officers. The pain of all that is corrupt and harsh in this world, bore down on him. I honor the aspect we are each here to feel and express. I do not follow the news. I live in a bubble of beauty and peace. I have felt that rage move through me at various times, in the past. Perhaps I will feel it again. I have no knowing of how it all fits but I do feel how we are each called to play our part. For me, it is holding a vision of the new land, for some it is being the voice that cries out at injustice and others are the ones who work to right the wrongs. I bless each one for being true to their calling. There is no right or wrong way, there is only your way, what you are guided to, what I am guided to. All offering their piece that works together to create a more loving and harmonious world.

Bright orange lilies breathe their joy to me. I am reading a fantasy novel of bears and princesses and adapting to new places and ways. All informs me. All touches me. This flame in my heart is burning bright with hope and anticipation of love flowing around this world as our hearts ignite in a conflagration. We are ready to live and love as one. My heart bows to your flame.

The Lull

Posted on March 7, 2015 by lovelylinda

The dancing diamond light delights me.

Sweet dreamy days followed by nights of little sleep, back aching in an elemental way. In the middle of the night chat with a friend on the other side of the sea, she asked me if my back was related to Gaia. My body shuddered a resounding yes. So many I know are experiencing intense physical symptoms at present. Gaia then gifted me a vision of her shaking off an outer layer. It is time. We are part of her, as much as the trees and mountains and oceans. We move with her and feel her as she does us. I saw this physical pain departing, being shook off as this layer departs. As the dis ease moves up and out, it is magnified in our experience. We are called to breathe through this movement, allowing the inner earthquake and tsunami to move through unchecked. This layer of density has completed its work, we no longer need pain to teach us. We are stepping into a time of more fluidity and ease, a time of radiant health.

Time, itself, has become so fluid and incomprehensible. I am called up short when someone mentions a month or a date. My mind searches for where that fits….is May soon or long ago? The old linear pathways are dissolving and it takes focus and effort to place myself on them. Each moment we are invited in, to live it fully. Past and future fade in its embrace.

Like many, there is this creative energy stirring and swirling. Yet there is this pause, this lull, this stillness. We are so active on the inner planes, aligning all for the coming equinox and eclipse cycle. On the physical level, we are being held still by our bodies, our wisdom keepers. Now is the time to dream big, to trust with every cell in our bodies, that a new world is being birthed through us, with us. The trust and faith bones in our being are strengthening with each surrender, each letting go. Ours is to breathe it each moment. To know and feel it within our hearts, that the Universe is conspiring to bring us our deepest desires in ways more magnificent than our imagining allows.

For me, there is no doing. There is the being of appreciation; for the hummingbirds that visit the manzanita bushes’ pink bells outside the window, the mountain that glows in the moonlight in her bright whiteness, keeping me company through the night, the roommate who offers me a delicious smoothie elixir for a morning drink, the list goes on. I do not have to search for things to appreciate, they are all about me. We are becoming part of the song of gratitude that the elemental kingdom has sung for so long. We are singing to one another with our hearts full of love. Our Mother Earth sings us a lullaby and we coo back at her. My back sings a tune that I sway to, my feet touch the ground and feel the swirl of its motion. Everything is alive in song and movement.

Pathway through the woods.

We were taught to fix ourselves to a point on every level. Now we are asked to let go of our anchors so that we can float with our mother as she rides this expansion wave. Think of children playing, holding hands and running free. If one sits down, holds to the ground, the line of movement comes to a halt. We are asked to let go, to allow her to fly free without being anchors, checking her movement. Let the ship fly! Let our beings fly with our mother in an exhilarating free fall. She is our mother. We can trust her love. We can trust ourselves to know where to move, how to flow with the currents of change. We have waited for this time, now that it is upon us, let us savor the ride in all its mystery. It is the ride of our lives!

Mount Shasta Calls Me Home

Posted on March 4, 2015 by lovelylinda

My first walk, with the lovely blue bridge and Shasta.

My second night here, lying in bed with a view of the mountain in her wintry white coat. Last night I was awake every hour, vivid dreams, intense head pressure, the nausea inducing kind. It is a sign of an activation for me, a rewire of the circuitry. Breathing through it, drinking gallons of this fresh mountain water. The air flows in the window, freshened by the creek running in the gully behind the house, infused with the pine trees’ scent that line the pathway to the creek as it spills into the lake. Bliss for me to walk out the back door into woods that lead to one of my favorite lakes, Lake Siskiyou. It is a great reflecting mirror for Mount Shasta and a wonderful place to swim come summer.

Mount Shasta has sent me on many code carrying errands over the years, from Sante Fe, New Mexico to Mount Hood in Washington to the mountains in the South Island of New Zealand and beyond. I have been taken into the inner lands of a Telos, the city under the mountain inhabited by our Agarthen family. I have stood on top of the mountain with Adama, the high priest of Telos to view an eclipse along with my brothers and sisters. Last night was a first as the mountain herself pulled me in and held me in her embrace. Sweetness and a deep sigh of relief. Ours is truly a love affair. I am so grateful that I once again responded to her call to receive this homecoming.

The redbuds were flames blooming along my drive north.

The heavy lifting of the past years is melting with so much else. All that brought us to this now is no more. We have entered a new landscape which requires a new response. March is ushering in change on a huge scale and we are ready! Our hearts lead and are skilled at following the threads that weave our new firmament. On my drive up to Shasta, a friend called to say that she saw me weaving earth and sky. I laughed at the beauty of my work. Yes, I am a weaver of liquidlovelight. I work with the elementals and elements to create. They are so eager to partner with us, to join in the weaving. My heartlight turns on, fueled by my intention and we begin our dance of co-creation. I understand little yet bow to my heart’s deeper wisdom and follow her lead.

We are being asked to let go of everything we love in each moment, (this echoed in my being as I hugged my family goodbye) in order to be open to receive with the next breath. We are called to presence in each breath, receive, let go. We have been taught to hold on, when the emotions are ones we enjoy and push away those that cause discomfort. We have grown. We now know that we can be open to all that comes into our world with a grateful heart, knowing that it is all orchestrated for us, by us. How amazing and awe inspiring this is!

Diamond light dancing on Lake Siskiyou.

I have been noticing miracles everywhere, a softening, a melting of hard edges. The miracles are found in our inner world. A friend shared how she felt her heart melting in her relationships. She had not known that she had erected a barrier, a space that she did not allow others to pass. Now that space was dissolving and her heart wept tears at the love she felt flowing through, melting all in its wake. A miracle! Another friend described her trust in herself growing, her inner knowing coming on strong. A miracle! I am finding the letting go easier as my absolute faith and trust in this evolutionary process is a deep hum in my chest. A tone of such love, such beauty and oneness. All miracles!

We are all showing up for the grand parade of eclipses and equinoxes and universal lovelight that is raining down upon us. Yes, we are ready for this change. We have asked for it, cried out for peace to flood our world. We have remembered that it begins within our own hearts, our own inner landscape. We know how to let go…let go of old hurts and sorrows, let go of past joys. Let it all go so as to experience the new. We have learned to be gentle with ourselves, to cherish and celebrate our humanness. We have let go of perfection, of striving after an ideal to embrace the beauty of our own beings.

I am at the mountain gate and strolling down Wonderland Blvd! Join me!

It is time. We are here. I feel your heart next to mine. What strength and beauty! We are creating this new earth together, one heart, one people, one love. We cannot fail. Our future selves’ laughter and joy assure us it is already done. Now there is the walking through it, the living of it. Savor it all as our world transforms just as our hearts have. Take note of the wonders and watch them grow. Fed with gratitude, all blooms in delight. I love your bloom as well as my own. Beauty abounds!

Fragility and Desire for Family

Posted on March 4, 2015 by lovelylinda

An overwhelming desire to gather my family and loved ones about me is running through me. I am wanting our love pods now! In my now, this little unit of three is breaking up when my heart is desiring to hold on, draw closer, to one another, to the earth. I surrender to the flow. The in breath and out breath. My mind can make no sense of it. Timing…I do trust the timing of it all. I sense my heightened heart’s desire of the past few days is a sign of the shift we are all moving through. Perhaps there is this going out, in order to come together in a new way.

Desire for a home to call my own rises up, to live a more integrated life, to be part of a community. My heart feels on fire with all of this. I do not know how to create any of it. I know it is a frequency, harmonics and magnetics that draw it all together. I sense that the intensity of my desire is what will bring me to the landscape I dream of. Time after time, I have observed myself going through these periods of intense desire. There is the dissolving of who I know myself to be and a shift to a new landscape. I trust the process. The movement takes me ever closer to that inner flashpoint that transcends time and space. In my daydreams, I often journey to my love pod, witnessing the new arrivals, settling folks in, playing with the babies, picking flowers and dancing in the moonlight.

My son and I baked a rich chocolate cake. It was a celebration of the delights of this earth.

Today there is the sunshine. The packing of gifts for a dear one to take to our daughter in the frozen far north. The packing of my bags for a move to Mount Shasta to witness spring, the shopping and packing of supplies for my son to head back to Colorado. An offer of a freshly ground and brewed cup of coffee, the mocking birds singing their bright song, the air calm after days of high winds… gratitude is a presence that brings tears.

There is no understanding, no linear projection to follow. This breath, this moment. Sunlight displaying the fingerprints on the glass of the back door, rainbows bouncing off the crystal that has brought me joy in countless windows I have looked out. I love this house that I helped to create. It is a wrench each time I leave it though there were times when it felt like a prison. Now, there is only tenderness and love.

We are often called to walk away from what limits us, in order to discover what lights our hearts. Then the freedom comes to return once more and know the gift that was given in the place of darkness and pain. I have come full circle in so many ways, sensing the completion of spirals that offer a jumping off point to new ones awaiting creation.

The small gestures that fill my heart. Beauty

So much has softened in our world. A friend was sharing how in her drawing into herself, feeding only herself, letting go of care taking of others, a hard place inside, melted. She witnessed her beloved loving her, steady and true, despite her pulling her energy away. She knew herself loved for herself, not for her actions. Oh, what a gift this is when we recognize
the miracles as they take place.

Vulnerability

Posted on February 20, 2015 by lovelylinda

It has been interesting to experience the sensations of the past couple of weeks. My physical body has been one that has served me well, occasional back or neck issues over the years but short-lived. My body has been a being that I could rely on at any moment to come through with the strength needed for the task or activity at hand. To suddenly be without that, has brought me to my knees. Toothache, last year’s root canal and crown costing thousands, suddenly is alive with pain. My back is a dull presence that reminds me of limitations as I attempt to use it in the old ways. I am taking a course to learn new ways to sit, stand, walk, lie. New exercises to lengthen and strengthen. All exhausting.

I accept that my body, in her infinite wisdom, is propelling me into new waters. This space of physical vulnerability has unhinged me. I did not realize how dependent I was on my health. It has been there for me to draw on with little attention paid. Now I am paying attention. Emotions are raw. I feel as if I walk about without a skin, everything prickling. I do not feel fit to live in the energies. That of course, is the invitation.

We are betwixt and between frequencies, finding our way in the dark. There are moments of anguish, crying out at the uncomfortableness that stretches me beyond where I thought I could go. There are moments of peace that flows like a river, carrying me gently in its wake. The rawness predominates. What are the words to express the feeling of climbing the mountain, the air thinning with every step, survival not guaranteed? I have been silent as when one is using every bit of air to simply breathe, it is not possible to do anything else. The summit has not been reached with its glorious view and perspective to sustain one. No, I am on the steep slope, in danger every moment of sliding back, taking tumbles as rocks give way beneath my feet. Getting up again by some interior will that no longer has anything to do with me or my desires.

What do I desire? From my limited view, focused as I am on putting one foot in front of another, it is a barren landscape. I can feel our mother earth, my body registers the winds that sweep over me, the mist that chills me, the sharpness of the stones. Fragments of beauty register, the shared look of incredulousness with a fellow climber, a blossom opening to the warmth of the sun, a drink of hot tea. Accepting all. That is the challenge, letting go of labels of good, bad, desired, not desired. I no longer know anything.

I simply am. A swirling field of energy. A deep thrumming, a hum inside. Intending to be the chalice for the liquidlovelight but not able to direct any of it. Not able to summon any umph on my own, simply being with what does arise or move. A thought can move in but the ability to decide how to respond, has disappeared. A more knowing part of me, holds the reins. I can only trust that she steers me well. Even that thought holds no juice…..she does or she does not, I do or I do not. There is no energy to desire it one way or another. All neutral, a field of quiet through which I observe myself writhing in this empty space. Searching for handholds, discovering none. Surrender is continual.

Buds of spring from seemingly dead wood.

For so long, I have held a vision of the love pods, of our soul families living in deep resonance and a dance of harmony and joy. That thread still exists, muted, veiled, a glimpse arises now and then as the breeze blows a curtain aside. There is no holding on to anything. I feel it, it flows through. Though, at other times a thought will play like a snare drum in my mind and not let go. It can flatten me into a puddle.

I signed up for this. There was no way to imagine how difficult it would actually be. I witness others finding their connections, the passions arising as creativity takes hold. I am still in the shadowlands, nothing is clear. I offer what I am to the All that is. It is enough.

Entering

Posted on February 6, 2015 by lovelylinda

I was so captivated to witness this moment in the unfurling of this Lilly’s petals. It looked like hands held in prayer before offering their full beauty.

A”river of rain” is set to flow into our area today. My pink prayer flags are flying, the palm trees’ fronds dancing as gusts of wind enliven their movement. The fire is blazing on the hearth, the wood is stacked by the back door for easy access, a hot cup of coffee at my elbow along with a piece of sprouted toast topped with my childhood favorite peanut butter and orange marmalade. In a word…..ready.

What am I ready for? Peace. Peace on earth. Magic on a scale that beggars belief. Freedom for one and all, in every aspect of our lives. All of this is possible. We are the creator gods come to bring it in. Our every dream for what life could be; stuffed down to the bottom of our hearts and buried over a hundred times by disappointment, despair, betrayal, pain, rejection, obstacles, fatigue, anger, sadness…..come to life again. The past few weeks have seen a great purging wave wash through our hearts, throwing this debris up onto the shores of our consciousness. We have had to wade through it, at times it might have been hip deep and a mighty struggle. No matter. It has been a gift. Loving waves sent by the Mother, by our own selves, by our Father to clear our hearts so that the desires we came in with, could once again see the light of day.

Who knew it would be difficult to give up hardship? To let go of the patterns of struggle? To step off the wheel of worry and stress? Are we able to trust joy? To trust love? To trust peace?

A face in a gnarled branch, whispering to me.

It is time. We stand at the threshold and must remove the old robe of cares that kept us small and compliant. To let go of any idea of safety, of security in anyone or thing outside of ourselves. We are invited to stand naked before ourselves and our Creator, letting our heart lights shine like mighty beacons, to light the way ahead.

One step…that is all it takes to cross the threshold. A thousand voices scream out their warnings yet in the quiet of our hearts, we know truth. To take the step is our salvation. It is the step into freedom and the path that allows us to live our deepest desires. The surrender asks all, nothing can be hidden, nothing carried beyond the doorway. It is the eye of the needle which only heart light can pass through.

A dreamscape of my heart

I have been quiet as I acclimated to this new space. Is this real? the mind asks over and over. Yes. A deep peace permeates my being. All is well is a refrain that plays softly. There is a floating sensation, a feeling of being embraced by soft clouds of love light. Presence. I am called to the now more than ever. Future planning can be engaged in but feels surreal. I can look at an idea of it, yet the deep well in me knows it will be more magical than my consciousness could envision or execute. The past evaporates as quickly as it is lived. Time is known to be illusionary. The gifts of the present moment create waves of gratitude. Tears flow as part of the adjustment to this amazing love light. My body desires rest, my lower back continues its constriction that keeps me in this quiet zone. To enter into this house, is like entering the land of the lotus eaters. We move in a slow rhythm that matches the tones that play just below the surface of our hearing. The love shared is palpable, a nourishment as we each claim a couch, close our eyes and weave our liquidlovelight in patterns unseen. I am so grateful for my sons, for their willingness to be true to their inner knowing, to have answered the call of their hearts.

Our society does not allow this deepening. Survival has demanded that productivity must be adhered to in order to live. There is no space given for the dreamer. Nature has her cycles of growth and decay. Bulbs require their deep sleep in the ground, so as to offer their brilliant blooms in the spring. We have been underground, clearing the way for our green shoots to emerge. Resting until the creative force arises, pushing aside the dense dirt and reaching for the sunlight to bathe our pure heart. Innocence come again, we are creating a safe space for all our little children to come out and play.

A river runs under this store, I stood on the glass and watched it rush beneath my feet.

I can feel the shifting patterns swirl under my feet. I sense the many timelines stretching outward. For each of us, the most beautiful pattern is being woven, for us and by us. I stand still as to step now is not wisdom. Too much is in play for me to clearly see the path. I breathe in this peace and surrender. Trusting the timing and easy in the knowing that I will feel the impulse that will carry me forward. Every cell is attuned. The notes play a melody across my heart. I have always known my cue. There is no more preparation, no more to be done. Only this note of beauty, of peace, of quiet joy to be sung.

I am grateful to all who gave of themselves to bring me here. I am grateful to myself for the courage to drop the old robe and take this step. I am grateful to all who paved the way and all who follow. All responding to our cue. We are actors upon the stage and the new play has begun. The curtain rises. Places everyone.

I Am My Beloved

Posted on January 26, 2015 by lovelylinda

Am I in love with me? Have I taken the gift of this life in and treasured it? I was reflecting on the ways I show love to my son, who is currently sharing space with me. How tender is my love, how it wants to place a soft blanket of protection and care about him. Do I treat myself with that same tenderness? What if I see myself as the very dearest person to me? How would that change things? Instantly I saw that our world would be born anew if all people did this. I saw energy fields expand in a flash and love explode its golden pink light across the earth.

I am the very dearest person to me. I am my own beloved. Oh, do you notice the shadow of old programming raise its spectral head at that statement? I do! I have been sitting with all that this brings up. It is quite a lot.

The ways that I have not loved my body…my back has been keeping my movements limited and I have watched my reactions, my frustration. Our bodies are these warm blooded elemental beings, dedicated to us, to our growth and mastery. They are so deserving of our love. Can I look upon my own body the way I look upon a newborn? Precious, delightful, a magical creature of soft hills and planes. My body has its own tender terrain, pathways plowed across my face by sunlight and strain, veins popped to the surface in answer to some need, weight sagging off the pole of my spine, spots, moles, bumps and scars telling a story of use and more than a little neglect as I used it as a tool. She birthed and suckled children, she was a shovel to a landscape, an open chasm to a lover, a cushion to a tiny head. She is my trusted friend. In her greater wisdom, she paces me. She allows the ebb and flow that is perfect for my growth. She has assisted me to leave toxic situations that my mind and will would not allow. She did the dirty work, took the brunt of the energy in order to say no more. I recall the endless well of tears that flowed that finally carried me from a job that was consuming me. I had no control over them, they streamed unbidden whether I was at my desk or in a meeting. Leaving the job allowed the space to look at the marriage that required leaving also. I was numb but this body carried on.

Now, I am guided to make a move to a new state, a new life that I know nothing about. My body has decided to relieve me off any decision making as to when this will happen. She is fully in charge and I am learning to honor her wisdom and guidance. She is teaching me to be gentle with her. To care for her with ice packs and walks. To lie down and watch the clouds drift by, allowing the inner spaces to be filled.

The darkness invites me in.

I am my beloved. The inner landscape, is it a battlefield or a peaceful plane? I have just finished reading, Matterhorn by Karl Marlantes. It is a novel of a soldier’s experience in the Vietnam War. It took me deep inside the horrors, the exhaustion, the pain, the mind numbing fear, the senselessness, the death and destruction. Not my usual novel of choice yet I am glad my elder son recommended I read it. The young men face themselves in all their shadow and light. If they were fortunate to walk out alive, they left the jungle with weighter burdens than their one hundred pound packs. Shame and guilt sloped their shoulders, along with all those they were trained to hate and kill, and those they loved and watched die. That they stood at all, speaks of the courage of the human heart.

What am I carrying in my inner spaces? I look around to see the holes that have not been filled with love. I see all the spaces where I thought I did it wrong, I was not good enough, I did not deserve joy. I have been here, many a time, clearing out the overgrown brush, hacking away with a machete. I have learned to drop the machete, to take up streams of liquidlovelight, flowing it from my heart in a steady thread. I have closed many a gap, created a soft clearing to rest within. A peaceful abode where I sink into pink cushions of love. My spirit asks now for more room, a palatial expanse. This novel assisted me to go within to the remaining jungle and stare death in the face. To look upon the part in me that would kill and enjoy it. The ego that would sacrifice others to keep its shining visage. It is not as stark as these young men faced, yet their story is mine. In the end, we all have to stand on that battleground and make the choice to embrace our enemies with love. To drop the self imposed burdens that we have taken on over the years. To forgive everyone, and hardest of all, to forgive ourselves.

The love flame must be built to a mighty blaze to burn away the ropes with which we secured our burdens, hugging them close to our chests. To stand in this flame, to offer ourselves, in full view of ourselves and watch it all go up in flames. We cannot know what, if anything, will remain. One must wait until the smoke has cleared to see oneself. With the burning away of judgment of self, we are set free. A friend wrote on this, that the day of judgment that the Bible speaks of is not administered by some bearded god on a throne, rather it is our own selves who decide the timing of the day and whether we enter heaven or hell. We are our own judge and jury. We choose to walk in freedom or remain in chains of bondage.

In truth, only when our inner landscape is one of peace, will we witness peace in the world. It is time to witness all that is in the world as love. To take in the horrors and love it all without being plunged into a story of suffering. To trust in ourselves as creator gods who have had enough of the warring and death, separation and exile. Who seek peace with a full heart, knowing that cracking the whip on ourselves, brings it down on our brother’s back. Can I be the tender lover, whispering endearments to the raised voices of judgment and doom?

I am my beloved. I befriend every harsh thought with an embrace and show them room. There is space for all within me. The hidden mines are sought out and deactivated. The sunlight streams through as I grow in courage to step into the darkness that lies in wait. All aspects of my being are honored for their part. Everything in this world craves love, craves to be seen, to be acknowledged and valued. The darkest shadow seeks love’s caress. Can I offer this? Can I love my pettiness, my anger, my blackened rage? Can I sit with sorrow and grief, offering my presence without words? The lovelight seeks the trembling terrors to cloak them in its flame. Come, come, step into this transfiguring flame of love as I honor each for a part well played.

The wisdom of my body has allowed this opening. This space of stillness has invited me in, the shadowlands asking full exposure, to share the mountain tops’ glory.

This day, I take myself, Linda Marie, as my beloved, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, till death us do part. I will love, honor and cherish you, all the days of my life.

Perhaps we were not meant to pledge ourselves to another forever. Truly, that pledge belongs to us alone. Today I open myself to cradle the newborn of my being. As I cradle me, I cradle thee. All One. All love.

The Gift of Frustration and Dissolution

Posted on January 22, 2015 by lovelylinda

A few bright leaves on this dormant maple, the rebirthing within the dying.

Today is my birthday, 59 years of age. This year it feels significant as I am being asked to take a leap of faith. I have leaped, jumped and thrown myself forward many a time, but this feels different. There is a newness to the energy available. I sense that the magic is there, awaiting me to bring it to life. The frequency of our earth has risen to a point where we can begin to co-create with all that is.

There has been an inwardness, a desire to be with oneself that I have noticed in those about me and myself. Seeking that quiet place of stillness that has been emptied out. The Linda Marie that has been up to this point has dissolved. I no longer have a framework of identity to hang on or structure to move from. I know only that I know nothing. There is no form to inhabit. Only space and beingness. I appreciate the role that frustration has played in breaking down my ideas of self. I became so frustrated and tired of the life I have been living, the me that I have been, that there was only surrender. In that “giving up” was the opening I did not know, I had longed for. Offering it all up, the emptiness, the destruction, the shell.

Here I am, housed in an elemental physical being which I no longer have the energy, desire or will to animate. Take it, use it, house it…it is yours. I offered it to the Creator as there remained no “me” to direct it in any way.

The light illuminating the ferns, bringing out their rich greenness. Allowing myself to be illuminated or shadowed as the Sun of my being desires.

I have noticed this in many, the detachment, the moving inward, the dropping away from drama, from control, from desire, the waves of sadness as all falls away. So many tell me of staying up later than their partner, getting up earlier as they seek that solitary time. I have witnessed the space offered for life to unfold rather that the old push and pull. All part of the divine dance. This, a step I did not know existed except for the saints and mystics of the ages. Yet, it is here for us all. Within reach of our ordinary, pedestrian lives.

I awake and allow the Creator to do as She/He will. Animate the form, flow or not flow. I have no preference. I am done with that dance of duality.

There is body discomfort, so many with back pain, chest and head issues. Strange electrical shocks in an elbow, pressure in an ear, sore throat for an hour or two that morphs into side pain. I hear that we are recalibrating, rewiring, regenerating. My back has gone through cycles of pain. I had a few days free, felt the joy of exercising, moving lightly. Then a spasm again and limited movement as the energy arose to move southwest. Hmmm, yes, I feel this leap to a new state, a new place to be here and yet my back is not able to sit comfortably. Packing and a twenty hour drive ahead did not seem to line up. Yet I felt only that all would work, not to be concerned. Allow. There is this softening that came in with the new year. A dream like buffer of sorts that keeps anything from being sharp or intense. “All is well” plays softly in the background throughout the day.

A zen garden offering its serenity.

I have moved out of the “flatlands” where the landscape was an unremitting gray. I find myself in a new space, each moment arising in freedom as I have no hands on the controls. I am observing all from a place of wonder and curiosity. What will present itself? I know only that this is the opening and I am moving through it. Expansion explodes on my inner vision as my true being flows in. I sense that we are all about to burst our former bonds, to fly free as the butterflies. This is the quantum leap that creates a new world.

I see each one’s light bursting forth like a star. I see the earth being covered by the light of you and you and me until there is not an inch of ground that is not bathed in this loving light. That is what it takes. To surrender and allow our truth, our glorious divine nature to shine through. One must be emptied to make enough room for the fullness to enter.

The dreamscape, softening this world. What is real, what is illusion?

Words cannot describe it. There is a wonder as I live it. Weaving rays of light so bright, I feel a new world begin to shimmer into form. There is a deep peace in this allowing, this being lived rather than living. Not my will, but thine be done. This has been the magic I sought for so long. I know now that the end of seeking is when the living truly begins. I am so grateful.

Liquid Love Light

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