As a woman who has always been affected emotionally by the moon’s pull, yesterday’s full moon was significant for me. I could feel the pressure building as I completed my long drive. This painting I call solar flares. On top of the energies of the full moon, we have been experiencing the most intense solar flares ever seen. Truly, our sun is assisting mightily in this wake-up call to humanity. There is so much light pouring into our crown chakras, opening us to remembrance of our true nature as star beings. As the light floods in, the denser energies are pushed up and out. Wow, did I experience this! I found myself sobbing as I drove through the desert. Part of my mind was running a “you are nuts” tape which is a very old program I thought long gone from the line up. My heart was full to bursting with a feeling of expectancy. It felt like the day before each of my babies came. Your body is preparing, you see the signs that the birth is imminent yet it has not happened. You feel a frenetic energy of nesting instincts coupled with an immense fatigue that makes you wonder how you will get through the labor to come. Every cell in my body was ready to embrace and hold my baby. I wanted my baby so much. I want this new earth with a desire that fills every cell to bursting. I am so ready to embrace her, to live on and with her, to be a part of a world where all can live in peace, love, abundance and freedom. The desire is so deep and has been held so long (eons and eons of time) and it is now finally approaching. I felt I could not bear the wait. The mind program was running saying: “You made it all up. This is not real.” I called a friend sobbing about how deeply tired I was and how I wanted to find my home. I am so ready to touch down on the earth where I feel that deep resonance. She assured me that it was that moment before the true stepping in. So close, oh, so close is my dream. Oh, to hold it in my arms! To live it in my days! To witness its beauty!

on the last night that my two friends and I were together. It was unexpected as one of my friend’s flight was cancelled. So we had the gift of an extra evening. I felt the call for a ceremony at the beautiful womb rock outside the front door. We lit some sweet grass gifted to me from a grandmother in Mount Shasta. We offered our thanks for the time we had shared. And the Mother came through and acknowledged our work, telling us our time with our swords was over. We could let down our warrior selves and embrace our divine feminine fully. She gifted us each with a crown of stars. The crowns lay in the rock cavity and we were told to put them on. It felt beautiful and light on my head. Stars..imagine! We are to walk with the knowledge of our beauty in the world and hold our heads high. This may seem like the stuff of fairy tales and I realize how I do want to live in the world of fairies, dragons, angels, nature sprites and wonders.

Ok, can you see this blue ray coming from the cloud? I found it fascinating. I was whooping and screaming in my car: ” Yes, blue ray masters and angels! We are here now!!! Archangel Michael, El Morya and all the other blue ray masters and angels were screaming along with me. What a cool sign! I ask for fun on my long drives, often there is not much. But this was a gift that I celebrated 🙂

a wonder to see the slot in the earth and descend into it. What beauty! A friend had recommended that I visit as it felt to her like the heart of the earth. The walls curved around you as you made your way deeper into the canyon. I felt like I was held in her womb. Rocks can be soft and caressing..who knew? Sensual and so feminine. The young Navajo guide played his flute for us and the sound in the canyon felt primal and just right. I would like to buy a native flute as it looks like something that I could play with in nature. Another way to sing to her and interact with her energies. I passed a place called, Vermilion cliffs and indeed

That evening we went to the Zen center where our weekend workshop with the calligraphy master awaited. The first night there was a meditation session followed by our practice session with the strokes. The teacher was a master in the way he presented the workshop. The first night was focused on practicing two strokes. It was interesting to witness the feelings of frustration that came up in the group. The master was so still, so calm. He demonstrated the strokes and then he had us come up one by one to sit at his place at the table. He stood behind us and held our hand and moved it through the character. That way we were able to feel the movement of the stroke. I could have used a hundred hand holdings to get the muscle memory but we were gifted with about six opportunities over the weekend.

I watched many emotions surface in the zen atmosphere. I rebelled against the silent meals, the gongs and rules. It felt so old to me, I have had so many lifetimes as a contemplative. The dark clothes, the subdued atmosphere did not fit me any longer. Instead of joining everyone in the zendo for meditation with all the bowing and rituals, I laid on a bench outside and delighted in the leaves dancing with the breeze. I faded in and out and that is the type of meditation that works for me. We are at a time where we each have to find what resonates with our hearts. I faced admonishment by a couple of the young residents who are so full of zeal for their path. I was told that I was disrespectful for not joining in the zendo time yet I did join in with the peace of the land. I found myself laughing at their admonishments yet when we were given an hour for meal time, in their hurry to complete their task, the food was whisked from the table as soon as the last person filled their plate. My idea of taking a little bit to taste first and returning for the food that I enjoyed, did not work. It was gone. Within 15 minutes, the plates were cleared from the tables and your hour meal was finished. A resident came by and asked a friend and I to lift our tea cups so that she could wipe the table under the cups. That felt disrespectful to me and funny as there are signs around about sipping your tea slowly with reverence. There seemed to me to be many examples of how the rules ruled and the atmosphere that was intended was lost. The grace of caring for guests and making all feel welcome, did not exist. There were locks on all the doors to the buildings that you needed a key code to open. Yet I had taken the camping option rather than paying the higher price for a shared room. I was shown to a area behind the compound that sloped down to what was once a river bed. There was a public path that ran along the river bed. This area belonged to the zen center but there were no signs delinating the property. There were no level places to pitch a tent and I had to clear rocks and broken bottles to pitch my tent. I was the only one camping and I listened to men walking along the path outside my tent door as I lay there in my sleeping bag. Not a safe environment and truly the worst camping site I had ever stayed at. So… the center was very lax in safety for their guests in that department yet locks on the other buildings. I found it all so interesting. It showed me what I do not wish to create in a community. The residents were more concerned with their rules and an attendant superiority attitude than with offering kindness. Kindness is the first rule if there are to be any. I believe that folks of a similar vibration can live together in peace without rules. If each takes care of themselves and wants to offer caring to one another. It can be so simple and joy filled. The joy was missing here. I called a friend to check in what was going on in the bigger picture as to why I was there. I delighted in time with the calligraphy master, he had a sense of humor that was fun. But the other part of the time, was not of interest to me. In fact, I wanted to bolt. She saw the calligraphy master standing in front of me, representing the masculine. He was offering me acknowledgment of the role I had played carrying the divine feminine in many of these places of old. This was when the feminine was rejected. He came to ask forgiveness of me. I granted it and he then wrote with golden ink on my forehead. The old signs were being turned into the Christ codes which are flooding the planet. He wrote them on my forehead, my throat chakra, my heart. I felt the golden light and thanked him for this gift. As I wrote with my brush the remainder of the weekend, I felt a lightness, a joy. I was anchoring in the Christ codes through the symbols. I closed my eyes and allowed my brush to make whatever symbols came through it. Afterwards, one woman who was not seated at my table, came up to me and thanked me for my joy. She said, “You looked so joyful and I was feeling so frustrated. Thank you for helping me.” I loved that acknowledgment of how our actions can have a bigger impact than we know. She saw my joy across the room and it helped her to find hers. I love how we can help one another by being true to ourselves!

I allowed myself to talk and connect with those who I felt a connection with.Met a beautiful woman from New Zealand who has here on holiday, traveling about in her car. Her story was amazing. Channeled AA Micheal to a young man who may end up in community with me. He had been seeking, left his job, took the leap of faith. His story of then being blessed with a big tax return and another source of money that he had not expected were affirming of how the universe will take care of us if we trust it to. I was gifted with two shooting stars when my bladder led me out of my tent in the wee hours of the night. I heard the coyotes and dogs howl. I am happier sleeping on the ground. Mother earth anchors me more deeply that way. I love our mother!

This is a painting from the first day, one that I am happy with. I call it Earth Flares. The bottom portion looked like the earth to me (I did not plan this) and the flares of energy coming off of her are a brilliant turquoise color. There are golden sparkles (I love golden sparkles!) and it is the energy of love and movement that I feel coming from our mother.

Today was the first day of the art workshop in Santa Fe. I am tired out after 7 hours of painting but feel so joyful! It was a treat to play again with color and brushes and the sweep of my arm moving across the canvas. This a picture of the class where the teacher facilitated. He found that term more accurate than teacher. He did facilitate with such grace and kindness to everyone. Truly, that is what we all need. Art carries a heavy baggage in some ways in that we have so many expectations of how it must be done and who is allowed to call themselves an artist. So many people have had terrible experiences when they were told they could not draw, could not sing, could not dance or play an instrument. All of these are areas of natural expression for us as humans. Yet, we have been fed the lie that only some people have the talent to be an artist, whether that be as a singer or a painter or a musician. If we were not part of that elite group, we were not to participate at all. How silly and sad that is.

Art is a place to express our dreams, our fears, our joys. Our bodies naturally move when we feel joy. Playing with colors allows emotions to move through us. Beating a drum can heal our hearts……these are mediums for all of us to participate in. They are all things that can bring us into communion with ourselves as well as with a group. There are plenty of professional artists in all these areas and I am grateful for the beauty that they create in the world. But we can all find joy by allowing ourselves the opportunity to play. It is so great that my friend and I have found a facilitator for our few days of play who understands how important it is for each to find their own “voice’ with paint. He loves to use glitter and sand and texture which resonates with my heart. So I am gifting myself this time to play, simply enjoying the arc of my arm throwing sand across the canvas and the creation of new shades of colors or the jiggling of my upper arm as I scrub the canvas with a rag.

I know how freeing it was for me to call myself an artist about 4 years ago. A big leap of faith but there is power in naming what we desire and showing up as that. We do not have to do everything, be everything. I used to feel bad about myself that I did not know how to deal with money or did not know anything about politics. We are taught that we should know and care about everything. But we each have a song, a note that is ours to add to this beautiful world. Mine is to vision the new earth, to hold the vibration of oneness and love. To affirm the beauty in others. To teach of love. That is more than enough!

Allow yourself to breathe in your own beauty. Allow yourself to name yourself as your deepest desire. Allow yourself to play with a drum. move your body in a way that makes you feel alive, take a box of crayons and color, sing at the top of your lungs. Let the energy of life move through you like the wind. Stir you up like a lightening storm and lay you down like the most magnificent sunset. I loved this portal in the clouds today….an opening for my heart to fly through. Honor the beauty of your being. I am in wonder at your beauty!

Heart rocks…..I love them and have left collections wherever I have lived. I am thinking of my beautiful daughter with this recent heart rock that the Rogue River gifted me with. A friend who is very perceptive in all things related to me (what a gift this is!) has a standard line that she uses when she sees something in me. “Ok, do you want to know what that is?” She posed this question recently in relation to my daughter. She asked me if I wanted to understand the cause of my daughter’s childhood rebellion. “Yes, I do.”

illusion that I was operating under that resulted in those actions, take steps to make amends where I see the harm that I created and forgive myself. I was as conscious as I could be at that period of my life and now I am more awake and operating from a different view point. Hallejuah! It awakens compassion for everyone when you know that all are doing the best that they can in each moment. That best may not seem like it to me yet in truth, I know that if they could do better, they would. We all want to be good, to serve in some way, to give to the world.

I awoke at 2:30am with the thought of getting on the road. I wanted to try to get through a big chunk of the desert before the heat of the day. I was gifted with a shooting star and then a glorious sunrise. Both made me a happy camper but then… yesterday had been a bit heavy with negative thoughts whirling in my head like a storm. Today followed in that vein. The new energies that we are living in are forcing out the old as it can no longer exist in the same space. Transparency, is also a welcome part of the new energy. All that was hidden is being revealed. This was the source of my negativity…I was given information about my former husband’s activities that was news to me. At the end of our marriage, after years of deceit, he had told me that he had shared everything and there were no more lies to be uncovered. I forgave him and ultimately got to the place where I told him that I released him from blame and thanked him for playing his role so well. But, lo and behold, this new energy that reveals all, brought to the fore that lies had been woven into the fabric of the 24 years of our marriage. There was much that was hidden. Five years after leaving and yet I still felt ill from this news. It took some major clearing work to release the layers of betrayal that it brought up once again. The hurt that keeps on hurting. Of course, that is my choice and I had to have a friend remind me to feel and embrace the pain and to then release it. To watch it move on through as it was only coming forward to be released. I felt compassion and right on its heels, gratitude for the freedom and joy for the life that I now live. Fortunately, the new also carries peace which is the vibration that I choose to live in. So, you can see it has been a challenging journey all by myself in my car!

“I am tired of this driving about like a wild thing. This is my last trip like this. I need to see the picture of what this is. I want a place to call home and a dresser! I am so tired of digging in my trunk for stuff. Why oh why am I doing this yet again? Thousands of miles across the desert in the summer…please! I want to be on the coast feeling the ocean breeze.”

So a picture popped in. Complete, beautiful and the whine drained right out of my voice. I am

completing a loop that began last summer at Shiprock with a few other beautiful souls when we were told that we were bringing in the new earth matrix. We were told that it was an appointment that we had made 26, 000 years ago and the elders were delighted that we had all shown up. From there, our group drove and completed a circle that ended in Santa Fe. During this year, I have been traveling as the seed carrier and adding vibrations and codes. I recently spent time with all but two of the original folks, though I have been in contact by phone, email and energetically with the two. Many others contributed their vibrations and codes to the seeds. Mount Shasta and Shiprock work in concert as the male energies that were needed so that I could now return to plant the seeds in Santa Fe, a feminine power spot on the planet. I love these two mountains, so powerful in their maleness and yet so caring of me in my femininity. It is time for the return of the feminine and these seeds have been blessed with beautiful new codes and information. By driving the same route, I am completing the circle for the group. I saw the ribbon of light that was strung as I connected with so many people over this year. I saw how each one gave something to the seeds that I carry. I was the one chosen to do this, it is my work. I cried when the picture came in and felt such gratitude for the mystery and also precision of it all. It is so beautiful…we each have our parts to play and for the most part, are unaware of how grand the pageant truly is. We are all so beautiful!

The day goes on…there is more to release! I drove this route at this time last year with a friend accompanying me in her car to escort “the bride”. It was the drive to meet and merge with my beloved who I had met the month before. He and I had both prepared with healings, fastings, prayers and sweats. He in the sweat lodge of the tribal lands, me in my car by not using the air conditioning while I drove. (I found that it made me very sleepy which is not such a great idea when you are driving!) My friend sweated with me, helping me to prepare. The need for quickness was apparent then also as I was given a deadline that the merging had to take place by. Just as the completion of this circle has a timing to it that makes my rushing about these past two weeks, make sense. My friend helped me to see the growth that came of that union and how once again I am the bride to my own bridegroom. I have merged my masculine and feminine into the whole. Yes, I chose to breathe that in! It has been a long time coming and much heartache ensued to arrive at this balance point. So I felt the gratitude that this man had been able to hold the energy to complete what we were assigned. And I felt the sadness again of the separation, memories flooded in with the miles. When I finally was too tired to drive any further I saw a billboard for a reasonably priced motel and headed for it. Three things hit me strongly as I exited: it was the exit for El Morro Monument, the place where I had agreed to first meet this man alone, the sign in the other direction was to Shiprock, the place of our original meeting and a huge sign appeared that said, Sundance. This guy is a sundance altar chief. I felt a bit faint with so much coming at me at once but after finally getting out of the car (after 12 hours of driving) and having some food, I began to laugh. It was perfect! All the nudgings to allow me to clear the energies. I thanked the universe as well as myself for creating such beautiful pinpricks to allow me to step out of the old and be the empty vessel awaiting the new. I had asked for some magic and miracles today and I can see that my wish was granted.