The energies of the recent solar flares and yesterday’s full moon have affected me deeply. I have to remember that when I am feeling the disconnect. I felt a bit removed from life, watching myself with more of myself in that observer role. The full moon brought with it bouts of weepiness. Not unhappiness, rather its opposite. I felt so full of it all, the mystery, the beauty, the possibilities presenting themselves at this time on the planet. It feels like we are right at the vortex of a huge shift in consciousness. So many will awaken, are awakening.
Author Archives: lovelylinda
Being scrubbed clean
Sunday evening, apartment is clean in preparation for a visit from my sister. There is much to look forward to this week. Yet, today I have felt a bit out of sorts all day. I am witnessing myself. Not feeling unhappy, nor sad but not joyful either. Neutral is the best I can come up with. I have learned that it is not always my energy that I am feeling. Checking in on that. I did wake up this morning from a dream where I was judging someone for their actions. I was arguing that the person’s actions fell into the “unacceptable” category. That I would not be judging him except that his behavior had crossed over the line that I held in my mind. It was interesting to me as even in the dream, I was aware how silly that argument was. I do not judge others except when I judge their actions to be ones needing my judgment. What??
Lost and found
I spend a fair amount of time on the phone with friends, it seems. I am so grateful that we have one another on this path. We are finding our soul family connections that feel so deep and true. A friend had recently experienced the deaths of close family members, three in a row. Intense emotions and experiences for anyone but one right after another was overwhelming. I was amazed to witness her ability to stay present through it all and hold a center of stillness and peace for her family. She endured many challenging scenes as is oft the case when someone dies and feelings of guilt, regret or anger come to the surface. When the death of a parent is involved, siblings can revert back to playing their old childhood roles. Being back in the family of origin, in the old house, can all conspire to bring up old patterns. Cellular memory takes over and it takes great awareness to avoid being sucked into those old patterns.
http://leabard.womanmade.net/gallery.html |
Lesson of integrity and love
Today I have traveled up and down, back and forth across the emotional landscape. Right now I feel like water cascading down a waterfall. Rushing torrent carrying me down and finally, under I go. Sleep waiting for me in the deep, deep water. Do you ever feel the fatigue hit you that way? Yet I am prompted to sit up and get this down before I succumb to that deep sleep.
Warriors of the heart
I had my oldest friend visit for a day as he flew into town on his way back to Shanghai. We figured out that we have known one another for 37 years now. I met him as an 18 year old exchange student to Western Australia and he was a brash 16 year old who had the courage to ask me out. He was telling me today that he was an introvert and I an extrovert. I laugh as I recall how shy I was and how much courage it had taken to become an exchange student, going through all the interviews that had been part of the proceedings. I knew that I was to do this and had made it happen. On the flight over, I told myself, no one knows you. This is an opportunity to remake your life. Be friendly and outgoing and say yes to everything. I had not dated at all in high school, I was the person all my girlfriends’ boyfriends came to for advice but not to ask out. He on the other hand was popular and very outgoing. He had no shortage of girlfriends.
Energy waves crashing in
I am so tired I can hardly think straight! Today I was hit with a wave that knocked me flat. Sometimes it is all that I can do to get horizontal fast enough for the energy to take over. I surrender as there is nothing else that I can do. I am in awe of folks who are able to work the 8-10 hour days that are the norm in this society. I was once one of them and am deeply grateful to my higher self for this open landscape that I am in to integrate the changes that are taking place.
White birds and synchronicity
I wrote the other day about walking by a white dove on the streets in this San Francisco neighborhood. The next day I was reading and engaging in a channeling from Archangel Michael. http://spiritlibrary.com/carolyn-ann-oriley/the-whirl-wind
Heart expansion
Today has been a day of such wonder. I have been alone all day yet so filled with Spirit that I am simply flying. I feel like a kite that has been tugged free and is now soaring into the pink clouds that the setting sun has illumined outside my window. Amazing how I can still connect to nature from this tiny apartment on the second floor with no views (other than then neighboring building’s walls) other than from the front room where there is a bank of windows. There is a ornamental pear tree outside the window that is just beginning to put forth its tiny white blossoms. So sweet, I was watching a large black bumblebee (you know the ones that are huge and almost furry looking) as he made his way from blossom to blossom.
Another poem: Prayer Flag
Prayer Flag
A couple of poems
Beautiful photo courtesy of my friend, ronda. She is a gifted photographer. Love the bluey-green of the water and the bright pink of the water lily. I want to dive in and adorn my hair with it and its petals like a mermaid 🙂
Most of you know that I spent a few months on and off in a relationship with a bard. A bard being an oral poet. I never did receive a poem from him in that time…ironic isn’t it? But I did receive a gift in that my own poetry began to flow and he received many poems from me. I love that poetry is something that can help me find my way to myself when I cannot concentrate to read a book or discover another way to manage my feelings.