Tag Archives: beloveds

Honoring Our Truth

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Luminous light on my walk

Luminous light on my walk

Sitting at my table, looking out at a sea of white…..snow and ice. The sky echoes the whiteness of the ground. I am on the fourth floor of an old hotel that has been converted into studios. The buildings form three sides with a courtyard in the middle and an opening to one of the main squares of Old Montreal. I love being able to watch activity outside as I sit in stillness inside. The plows have been working since the wee hours, clearing the night’s snowfall. Now young men are completing the job with picks and shovels to get at the layer of ice below the snow. It can be treacherous walking as that layer of ice can send you flying in a moment. I do a lot of walking of my grandson in his stroller. It is the way we get him to turn off and take a nap so I log at least an hour or more a day of lovely walks.  I have laughed at times, feeling that the stroller is my walker and I am hanging on for dear life as it has kept me erect over the slick ice spots.

Shadow dancing

Shadow dancing

January did not feel like the beginning of the new, rather a continuation of the old with so much clearing. Here it is February and there is a pause. My sense has been that movement begins in March. During a sleepless full moon/eclipse night, I was prompted to book my ticket back to California. March 14th, my day of movement. I watch how my family of five is moving on the chess board of this life. My daughter and grand baby and hubby here in Montreal. The wee one and I are doing sound work that moves deep into the earth and ancient energies held there. He is a sound master, full of chirps and trills and the ability to OM and AH long past mine. We are a good team. We giggle and play and send the joy flying. The completion of this work will free their family to head west as the autumn begins. My sons will arrive in Vermont, a couple of hours south of my daughter, living and loving with their beloveds as I exchange places and fly west. So many synchronicities have appeared to facilitate all of this. We watch as one thing after another lines up in perfect order. I am sensing all of us meeting in the West as the leaves turn. We shall see but my heart feels the love pods forming in the physical then.

IMG_4811Honoring our truth..that is the theme I feel. Supporting one another to walk our truth into the world. So many of us have been hermits these past years as we anchored in the grids of light and cleared the fields. Now, we are being called into the world. I have seen amazing timeline shifts as new possibilities unfold that had never been available prior to this time. I do not know how I will show up in the world but I do know my days spent mostly alone, have ended.

This year has been about family, my days now filled to the brim with my one year old grandson. He and I play and laugh and love. He teaches me so much about moving with the energies, expressing all in the moment, engaging with the wonder of life. I am so grateful that this is how my life has unfolded.

The gateway is narrow and fraught with danger. Courage and strength required to pass into the flame of true love.

The gateway is narrow and fraught with danger. Courage and strength required to pass into the flame of true love.

I am holding space and witnessing a beloved union come into being for my elder son. He is a buddha, and has walked his path in solitude and grace for many years since his instantaneous awakening. My younger son’s marriage ( a beautiful divine partnership) set the scene and allowed these two hearts to meet. Now my elder son is walking a new timeline where marriage and children are a possibility when it had never been in the cards before. Oh, the joy! Truly, more than we ever imagined is awaiting us all as we live our truth.

He and his love are anchoring in the beloved flame for us all. Healing the wounding of the feminine by his masculine presence and being healed in turn. They are both courageous hearts to walk this path as it is not for the faint of heart. The love flame consumes all and forges anew. They are assisting in bringing in the deeper, truer love that is our birthright. Romance is a flimsy veil that reveals the wonder held deep inside. We are here to love in a way that has not been for eons of time and in truth, is more than we have ever experienced here. The possibility is to go beyond our past and live in the heartbeat of the Creator.

A lock on a bridge proclaiming this love.

A lock on a bridge proclaiming this love.

I am grateful to be at the feet of a master in the field of play and living in the moment. I am grateful for new abilities coming online that allow me to assist others in finding that pathway to truth. I am grateful for the beauty that surrounds me. I am grateful for the crystalline energies of the snow and ice that I can spin and dance with as our bodies resonate to this new form. I am grateful to all the beings who have offered their love to this planet and her people to clear the fields enough for this love to anchor in. I am grateful to myself for surrendering my life to my expanded self and allowing her to move me in the moments. I am grateful for the love that awaits us all.

Powerful Days

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Heart cloud floating on Mount Shasta.

Heart cloud floating on Mount Shasta.

Time is morphing, creating interesting days. A day can contain an age of energy, a month can disappear. Today was dense, hard to recall where it began. I have not slept much the past couple of nights and tonight seems to be following the same pattern. Last night I watched a mist arise outside, it felt full of magic. This morning as I went outside to stand barefoot on the ground and soak up the rays from the sun that was dissolving the mist, I felt a new energy arise from the earth. It was light and bubbly. The birds were singing loudly in the trees, the cool air felt energizing, the creek rushed by in the gully below, infused with the recent rains. Blessed, I felt blessed.

Seven white doves appeared in front of my car as I went to drive. I learned that a neighbor has a dovecote. They were so beautiful in their pure whiteness. Blessed, I felt blessed.

I met a new friend, soul family from other ages, for a hike up Spring Hill. Amazing hike, new to me. There were a couple of benches and picnic tables (Boy Scouts’ Eagle projects..well done) placed along the way that looked out on views of the mountain. Someone was given permission to cut branches off some mighty trees to frame the views. Blessed, I felt blessed.

A huge heart rock listening to our beloved talk.

A huge heart rock listening to our beloved talk.

Heart rocks appeared every few feet on the trail. As my friend and I stopped, deep in discussion about beloveds, she said, “look there”. A huge heart rock was lying on its side right next to us. We shared our understanding of the beloved relationship, our conversation creating a greater understanding and depth of knowing. We reflected for one another the journey we have been on, drawing strength from our shared experiences and visions. Blessed, I felt blessed.

I came home after hours outdoors on this day of mega solar activity, hungry and tired. I had half of a burrito in the fridge, leftover from yesterday’s stop at a cafe, which I consumed in a frenzy of need. I had stopped to fill my water bottle at the headwaters’ spring, I guzzled it and retreated to the silence and peace of my room and bed. The head pressure has mounted throughout the day. I lie in my bed and watched the light play across the mountain face, clouds casting fantastic shadows. As evening came on, I watched a pink glow light up its face. Then all retreated into the shadows of night. Blessed, I felt blessed.

View from my bed.

View from my bed.

Darkness is here. I spoke with both my sons, checking in on how they were doing. Sharing our experiences of this day. New insights abounded, greater alignment to our truth for all. I looked out my window and saw the sky full of brilliant stars. They called me out and I found myself standing barefoot on the ground, looking up and calling out greetings to our star family. I recalled that it was only this morning that I had stood in the same spot, feeling the freshness of the day. Blessed, I felt blessed.

Bird observing the morning mist roll away. Me observing the bird!

Bird observing the morning mist roll away. Me observing the bird!

I stopped in the kitchen on the way back up to my room and filled a bowl with chocolate almonds and pieces of ginger. The perfect combination for my late night tummy. Sometimes sugar is all that satisfies. I wanted to make a cooling smoothie but the vita mixer is so loud and the hour too late with roommates to consider. It will have to wait for morning. I found a sweet video on youtube, a romance. Light and dear and just right for late night. Blessed, I felt blessed.

Now it is about to become a new day. Perhaps my body will sleep. The train whistles its lonely sound across town. Somehow I am comforted by its whistle. Canadian geese fly overhead a few times a day. I hear them come through the trees behind the house and watch as they fly over , out the window to the front. Their honking comforts me also, a frequency transmitted that is adding to the wonder that is building. All of creation is participating in this time.  Blessed, we are blessed.

Sweet mountain, I love her so.

Sweet mountain, I love her so.

Every part of me is spent. Yet I am quivering with energy. The air is charged with this newness. The earth is vibrating it, my body simply humming along with the rest. There is no knowing how, what, when, where all this will lead. But the energy is building. I know I am working 24/7 on inner and outer planes. This is it! cries my soul. I can sense the frenzy, the aligning of the highest possibilities for all……awe inspiring, truly. We are creating this along with so many others. The scale is beyond my human capacity to comprehend. I sense it, I am part of it, knowing and not knowing anything. Open to all. Heart on fire. Will I even survive it in the physical? Matters not. I am here. I asked for this. I asked to be a full participant. Blessed, I know myself blessed.

 

Shadows Come Knocking

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These oak trees created a portal on the pathway, gracious branches touching the sky.

Love day came and went, bringing in all heart light and stirring up all the undercurrents of my life as well as many others. Shadows coming up to be loved and embraced. I spent the last couple of days witnessing shoulds and fears coming up in me. My new exercise routine took a dive, my energy shifted and my joy quotient plummeted. When I was in Maui, I went deep into the Mary Magdalene energies with my friend. We were immersed in them for days on end. I came away wanting to offer an initiation that Mary Magdalene spoke  of in Claire Heartsong’s book of the Magdalenes. It was called, “Opening Your Mouth” and she said that it was time for women to do just this. Time for the truth to be spoken. I was shown the women to invite to such an event as I flew back to California. That was about three weeks ago and so now it seems time to do this. My ego was going on about how if I am a way-shower, it was time to be showing something to the world. Yet my being is loving this time alone in my own space and not feeling sure that I want to use my energies in this way. I am not wanting to be with lots of folks, rather meeting folks one on one for a walk or talk.

The shoulds came out in force: “You should do this, what else are you doing?:” “It is way past time for you to be engaged with the world!” ” What is your purpose anyway?” On and on they went. I wrote up the flyer, began the list of names to email and kept hesitating on a date. I found myself waking up and beating myself up by saying, “OK, today you have to send out that email! You know how to run a workshop or an event. This is easy for you.” Another day would roll by and I would not have done it.  I had loads of ideas flow through yet something in me kept hesitating. I did not want to commit, never knowing how my energy will be on any given day though of late, I have had more energy. Surely, I could commit to a two or three hour event.

This morning I woke up with the weight of this event on my mind. I asked my Mother-Father God to hold me in love and show my the way through this. I was taken up through a Maxwell Parrish sky (you know all soft blues and pinks and fluffy clouds), and was bathed in lovelight. I saw myself become infilled with light, I came apart in a way as I saw all of my cells as separate units being filled with love. I was amazed! A love filling station! After a time I came back down and found myself in my bed once again. I laughed and said; “May I do that again?” It was such fun! Up I went and I was assured that I could return at any time to be filled with love in every cell of my body. Wow! I also knew that it mattered not what I did, it mattered what I was. If I was joy and love, that is my gift. My “job” is to emanate the love that I am. I am love so that is easy. Oh yeah, if it feels easy and good……it is!! My ego had gone back to the old I must struggle and force myself to do something. Those days are over. I follow my joy. I do what I am inspired to do and trust that is my work. It matters not if someone sees it or if I am “teaching” in the traditional manner. When I do something with joy, it reverberates throughout the  universe. Love is all there is!

This bud is from a bouquet of lilies that have been providing me with joy for over two weeks! This one is just about to burst into bloom, much like me.

So, the event will happen but when the timing is right. For now, I crave this space of silence and solitude. It is a short window in time and I want to suck all the juice that I can out of it. I will know when the time has come for the event as I will feel joy in the whole process rather than anxious and uncomfortable. Our emotions are our guides and truly if I stay in the joy zone, I am on track! I feel like this beautiful lily bud, you can see the soft beauty, the fragrance is a hint in the air and the opening is but a breath away. That is me at the moment. There is a deepening that has been happening and I am ready to burst forth with wonderment at who I am. I am shapeshifting, finding new aspects of myself that stand at the door of my heart, waiting to be invited in. These past couple of days, I have had a visit from the shadows, asking to come in to the warmth of my heartflame. Yes, anxious self, come in and sit down by the fire. Oh, you controller, you want entrance, come, there is a cup of tea waiting for you. And you, the one who calls herself, Too Much, come on in, you are welcome here. All the shadow selves coming to the heart flames of love. I celebrate each one of you for how well you did your jobs. You helped me to feel safe in the world. I am here now to let you know that you are safe and so very loved. All is well. We can move forward in joy!

My latest couple is feeling the joy! The Rumi qoute for this one is:

“They say there is a window from one heart to another. How can there be if no wall remains?”

I love seeing how the couple appear. They are like characters that come alive under my fingers with my paint, beads, and gold leaf. I have so much fun creating them. My beloveds…..for that is part of the delight awaiting us all as we reunite with our other half. We have done the inner uniting of masculine and feminine and there will follow the outer uniting with the other. Some are in this already. I know it to be beyond the romantic ideals that we have held as it is a uniting in service to the world. Our ideas of love are enlarging as so many new ways of experiencing love will be present. I am loving myself by creating these images. They are all me! I will be excited to meet the man who can match the love that flows from my heart! And of course, there is the match for each of us as we are one another, two halves of the whole. This I know as I now know that my cells love the love fuel most of all!