Reclaiming More of Myself

This has been an interesting few days for me as I rode the waves of energy streaming in. Huge lessons unfolded showing me once again where I was giving away my power and allowing my light to be used. I am understanding that my higher self will do all she can to uncoil every pattern and belief that no longer serves me. Thought that I had uncoiled this pattern yet there was more to unwind. It began with me agreeing to share a one bedroom space and sleep on a pull out couch (the bathroom was only accessed through the bedroom, I did not know this when I agreed to the arrangement). Also to not get my own rental car so to not have any independence. I had not experienced that in eons. I see how I neglected to make sure I had my basic needs cared for.  In this, I created the perfect container for this lesson to unfold. Seems so strange as this is not how I operate but the universe conspires to create what is needed for our soul’s growth. We do things out of the ordinary to learn. The clues were amazing: I had picked up a Nicholas Sparks novel from the cupboard, thinking light read for the beach. He wrote Message in a Bottle and the Notebook…..light love stories. Or so I thought but this one described a woman in a abusive controlling relationship……clue #1. Next, I read my horoscope for the week and he described two sea plants that made a beautiful color combination but one was a parasite to the other. He said to be aware of that relationship……clue #2. This person began to question the consciousness of  who I spoke to and what I wrote in my blog….paranoia about our work needing to be secret……clues #3 & 4.(this is embarrassing to write as I listened to him! Yikes)  My body began to feel ill, headache and nausea and fatigue that made looking for a new situation difficult to do……clue #5. Yes, this all got my attention. I had felt a heaviness and sense of confinement. Finally, I took the step to leave the situation. (this all took place over 3 days time but felt like an age!) I wrote a couple of days ago that this person was a catalyst for my growth, and he was, just not in the way that I  expected. I realized that I could honor no one’s connection to Source over my own. I was pulled in by the feeling that we shared a mission (not a romance, he is gay) and so much was true but there was this aspect that did not line up. The lesson for me is that it can be off by a lot or a little, but it is still off. Big lesson, big gratitude to my body, my higher self and my angels and guides for helping me to see the truth of what was happening. I love the way Spirit is always giving us signs to show us the way!

So moved to a new space, ahhh the joy of breathing freely in my own energy once again! Came here yesterday and have been resting since. My body has been recovering from the energy drain. I realized that everything is wanting to be loved, including all the dark energy that is rising to be released and returned to the light. As all this beautiful lovelight streams in, all that does not resonate, must depart. It can be sticky and messy but I watched as it flowed out of my field like a black mist. I blessed it with love and let it go. Whew! Mother Gaia sent me thanks as it released the energy from her also. Truly what we do is felt on many different levels. I acknowledged that I am a big heartlight on this planet and I attract the shadows that desire to return to the reality of love. I am so grateful to Archangel MIchael for his continual protection and care.

I am blessed with friends who I can call who respond immediately.  They helped me to clear my field and nurtured me. One new friend is a gifted flower essence creator. I love flowers and have always felt that they were my true language. But she takes it to a whole new level. She began to describe an essence that might help me, and I instantly felt it in my body. My bones had been aching since this encounter, deep ache…..it lifted. She then

spoke of another one that might help and I began to cry as it was so deeply nurturing. She said, “The flowers love you and are filled with joy when they can be of help.” I could feel their love and allowed my cells to drink it up. What an amazing gift she has. I love seeing the different gifts we each bring to the table. How wonderful is this world!

So tonight I am feeling gratitude for all that has taken place.  I have experienced much of the shadow energies in this lifetime, expanding my heart’s capacity to love. It has not been an easy path. I am grateful for all who have played the darker roles on this stage, allowing us to experience duality and separation. I know we have all played lifetimes as the dark and the light. I am ready to be in the new play of unity consciousness! I am ready to play in the fairy realm, of which I am a part. To be light and joy and dancing flames of love. I know love has tipped the scales and is flooding our planet and our hearts. I will continue to offer myself as a chalice of living lovelight to anchor into our Mother’s heart. Shadows are dispersing. We are all going home as there is only the love and the light.