Tag Archives: formless

Body Laughs at Any Edict of My Mind’s Creation

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Expansive sky, echoing how I am feeling.

Expansive sky, echoing how I am feeling.

I am sitting here giggling as I eat the last of the ice cream in the carton. Second day of my “no sugar” edict and it dissolves. Just as all else that has form is dissolving. All that we thought of as our identity is dissolving. The old “structure” that we housed ourselves in is melting away. This can be frightening. If there is no form, who are we? We float in the void of the formless. I am laughing as I have known for some time to allow all, have stepped from schedules and plans and moved in the now (easier to do in a semi-hermit life like mine!) and floated free. When I have an fixed event, I feel the compression on my system. I enjoy the freedom of expansion with open space to move in, all about me. My way has been to give tasks to my higher self to bring to my awareness at the perfect time so that the action aligns with the energy of movement and is taken with ease and grace.

Yet, I stated publicly this no sugar edict. This no sugar thing came up as a means of supporting a dear one in her desire as well as a knowing in myself that I would benefit from it. Clearly, supporting another if it is not your truth, your joypath, is no longer supported by the energies. Hurrah! An old pattern in me, of being the cheerleader, is ready to depart. We are moving into a time of allowing one another to find our paths. I hear evidence of this as folks are feeling more detached, less of a desire to be “helpful” or jump in with advice. There is an honoring happening as we honor our joy path and allow others theirs. We are letting go of judging whether someone’s path is right or wrong. Things are beginning to be what they are, without a need to label them as good or bad. They simply are.

As I experience my body chuckling at me, as I savor this creamy texture on my tongue, I know she will guide me to the best choices in each moment. That may or may not align with what we have been taught is of the highest nutritional content. We have all lived through the swings of what is healthy and what is not. So much of it has been a corporate game played at our expense. Thank goodness, folks are choosing to empower themselves in this area and are tuning into what their bodies have to say rather than the outer world.

This rattlesnake who surprised me on my walk, reminded me that shedding our skin is a natural part of growth.

This rattlesnake who surprised me on my walk, reminded me that shedding our skin is a natural part of growth.

All this aligns with this new state of formlessness where we allow the energy to flow. We are conduits for energy. No longer storehouses with cubicles for placement of this and that. “No sugar” is a label that dissolved as it went through me. I can have an intention to give my body what she needs but any labeling as to how that looks in a given moment, will not hold as there is no thing to affix to. I may find myself eating sugar or not, I can observe this but not dictate it.  I can set an intention and trust myself to care for my body with all the tenderness I hold, in each moment. To be true to the now moment.

I love this!! To be so fluid and free, I have awaited this feeling. I love that what I thought yesterday about myself has already dissolved. I love that what I thought this morning is no longer true. I love this shift! It is in dissolving the form of “Linda” completely that I allow the fuller, more expanded energy of my I AM presence, to pour in.  There is no longer a need of a mental construct for the energy to flow into. We have our bodies which are being transformed into vehicles that can be a conduit for greater and greater amounts of our light from Home. By dropping form, we free ourselves to be who we are more fully. This is like a new game and the child in me is so enjoying playing!

In this moment, I can be an egret, stately in stance, fluid in flight.

In this moment, I can be an egret, stately in stance, fluid in flight.

In a dream last night, I felt so burdened, trying to clear up a mess made by others. They were long gone and all their stuff was left and had to be removed. After some struggle and trying to figure out how to move it, I realized that I could leave it. I could walk away. I could drop the struggle. It is that simple when we allow it. I am ready to play in a new playing field of joy and laughter and love. Will you join me there?

Up and Down and All Around

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My first connection with the land here in Kimberley, British Columbia. The snow is wet so no snow angels today but I created a heart that I can view from my friend's balcony.

I am sitting in the airport in Seattle, looking out at the rain. I had two hours of sleep last night as it took me so long to sort and pack and finish cleaning the house where I was staying these past two months. My brain turns to mush as decision making is upon me. What to pack? How to fit in snowboots, snowpants, down coat, gore tex hikers for the rain and warm clothes?? I want my art supplies, how to pare it down. Ok, no paints, only colored pencils and markers for now. Big case packed and was over by two pounds, move it to carry on, now that is too heavy. Back and forth. It had begun the day before with anxious energy running through me as I prepared to leave my floaty dream space. I felt waves of sadness, waves of uncertainty. I could find nothing to hold to. I am traveling to stay with a member of my soul family that I met on facebook.  I was guided to fly, leaving behind the security my car provides as a means of independence and a home base of sorts. I have no return ticket, as I was guided that I will know the next step when I need to and that time is not now. I am on a “need to know basis.”

A friend explained it as moving from form to formless. That fit in as we are so used to orienting ourselves according to a place, a dwelling, a person’s form. The external to give us a framework to move against. I felt this when it seemed that my children and I had transitioned. As if we had crossed over and now saw one another as pure streams of energy, not dependent on our forms to communicate. This can be a scary place with no handholds or it can be exciting! As soon as she said form to formless, I could feel the energy of it. All the creativity that is unleashed as we create form in a new way.

This was a mural in San Fran on a school. I like the steps, numbers moving up and down and the geometric figures. Why this wants to be a part of this blog....who knows?

Last night, my mind went retrograde and began its story of how there was something wrong with me as I did not know how to pack “light”. If I knew how to do that, turn snowboots and hikers into collapsible forms, get on the plane with only a carry on, I would be an ok person. As it was, I was defective. Wow, it went on a virulent rampage which only worsened as the night wore on. It also asked just what I was doing?? Going off again to a remote location when I could stay in comfort and ease. Finally, I lay down and drifted into my heart land. Ah…..that felt better. I think that I am sleep deprived today so as to float along on this long day of travel. A beautiful white heron flew by as my son drove me to the airport. I commented on its whiteness which felt like purity to me. As I lay down to nap here at the airport, I connected into his wisdom and asked what he wished to tell me. He said that as I flap my wings, which he admitted took some energy and momentum, I rise higher and higher until I can soar with no effort. The flame of purity was alight in my chest as I heard his words. I have leaped, the packing and movement from the known to unknown, has been the flapping. and I can feel the energy of soaring in front of me.

My last bouquet of lilies in Sacramento. The richness of the color, the flirty curve of the petals... I almost felt embarrassed by the rawness of their sensuality. But instead these flowers helped me embrace my inner fire that has been dancing of late!

We are moving into this oneness and there is no road map. We have stepped away from the old new age ways and are having to learn this new navigation system. It is all about energy. Another friend said that she believed that if everyone took full responsibility for their own energy field, we would be living in the new land. To be conscious of what energy you are bringing into a room, into a conversation, into every space that you move throughout the day. It takes a high degree of consciousness and attunement. And it takes energy as we get used to it. As the heron said, the flapping the wings bit is exhausting compared to what it feels like to soar. That so fits with how I feel these days. I am giving all of me to this process and though on the outer it looks like stillness, on the inner I am giving everything I have to stand in this body and radiate my heartlight.

As I was moving through this formless place, a friend and I spoke of the energy of May we are both feeling. It felt we may come together then and find a place to share in Sacramento. She was delighted that I had found that I was now comfortable in that area and I was delighted with the idea as it was a form that I could hang onto. Even as we talked, we both laughed as we knew anything could happen but for now it provided us both with a sense of comfort. It gave me a marker in the blank future, placed there for my emotional body to lean on when I am in need of it. Oh, I love the dearness of me! I find myself at times, envying folks who put out plans for events in the future..such as announcing a workshop in June. Wow, I think, that is amazing! I see myself doing that in the future but as yet, am not in a space to plan anything as I have to remain fluid on every level. So..allowing this marker for the moment, not attaching but sighting it ahead as I once again move in the stream.

Flight is called, off for the next little jaunt up to Vancouver…..50 minutes and then another wait time until the inland flight. All is well, I am taking my little leaps, touching down and resting and then leaping once again.

View out the front window as the mists cleared and the mountain came into view.

Landed, conversation by the fire, followed by a long sleep. Today a walk in the sun and fresh air, to the market for food, cooking lots of deep green vegies, long nap, and here it is evening with the fire once again. Feeling a deep peace with the land, the air off the mountains is enlivening. There is something here for me. I love the fun of discovery.