Tag Archives: freedom

The Peace Portal Approaches

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A heart with wings, the clouds echoing how I feel!

A heart with wings, the clouds echoing how I feel!

This is a holy week for me. I feel drawn further in to my own source, my own light. I feel reverence for all of life, for all of us for the journey that we have been on. All is about to change. My cells are doing a wild dance of freedom as my exterior presents the glassy sheen of a still pool. All is in harmony. All is truth. All is well.

I have not written in ages as there was nothing to say. Words, empty vessels that no longer held the truth that I felt. I could not pour this aliveness into any form. Rather, I have lived it, drank it, breathed it, been consumed by it. Surrender is easy to write, harder to live. I was called to this inward time by Sophia, my I AM presence. Linda struggled with some of it as I had to cancel plans with others and let go of connections that my personality desired. I had to face a fear that I would not emerge from this hermit life. I did not know if or when I emerged, if there would be anyone left to dance with. This was hard. I have honed my surrendering skills in the past few years but each layer demands a new level of letting go. Ultimately, all the personality concerns melt as to not follow the promptings of my soul would be the most difficult choice of all.

I read of others living in joy and feeling passion arise for new things. I felt no passion in any outward sense though a passion for freedom inflamed every atom in me. Freedom for us all to sing our song, to see our own beauty, to know our place in the cosmos. Oh, yes, that is a flame of passion in me, to see liquidlovelight pouring everywhere with its freeing grace.

I love the stark contrast of the burnt log and the vibrant pink, decay and growth present in each moment. This is life.

I love the stark contrast of the burnt log and the vibrant pink, decay and growth present in each moment. This is life.

I had experienced all that I desired of this earthly plane and wanted more, oh, so much more. A theme of my life, wanting more than was in the offing. I am a visionary, holding the image of the what is to come, moving the goal post further afield so as to assist in this evolutionary cycle. It is so reassuring to realize that our innate nature, once judged as wrong, is now ours to claim as who we are. Of course, I was always pushing for more, that is the role that I agreed to play.

Surrender I did and the earth took me deeper into her core. She offered to entrain me to her heartbeat. I was to become a tone for the new that is arising. A tone with no sound that reverberates far and wide. It was a process that has taken all of me as there are no half measures offered. On the surface, my body rested. I was shown how my environment was perfectly suited for my needs. It was a safe place for my body to be while my spirit soared wide and deep. It offered me physical comfort and ease, allowing me to be fully present with the task at hand with little popping out to tend to outer requirements. A gift that my higher self created for me at this time. I was not to dilute it.

We have been engaged in almost frenetic activity under the surface, getting much in place for this portal of August 25th when the planets and sun gift us with a influx of love and light. Each morning, I awaken to the tone of more hearts opening to their own beauty, their tones  sounding strong and true. I feel giddy with this energy as I sense that soon the newness I crave, will be here. That we will laugh that we ever knew anything but radiant health, that we engaged in separation based on skin color or economics. That we believed that we were powerless to create our lives. That we believed in anything but love.

Tending the flame of my heart deep in the earth. This is my now.

Tending the flame of my heart deep in the earth. This is my now.

It is a grand letting go as we remove our old robes and choose the robes that truly fit our essence. A person dear to my heart, recently had a direct experience of the divine in the middle of a pain filled night. This light coming in has challenged our physical vessels in so many ways. All the density is being cleared, to make room for this mighty waterfall that is about to cascade upon us. What a gift this is! Yet it can feel frightening when the pain seems to be the only reality. In that sacred moment, he went through the portal the pain offered rather than resisting it, and he knew himself as whole, as well in body and spirit. He knew himself as the beloved son, so dear to the Creator. He was gifted with a nakedness that shone only light. In the days following, he had the opportunity to decide if he would clothe himself in any of his old shirts, old labels of who he thought himself to be. The temptation is strong to cover ourselves quickly, lest we feel the chill of the air which exposes our vulnerability to the world. Can we stand in that nakedness and allow the not knowing of what to choose, to be? Can we ride the pain and see where it takes us without seeking middle of the night internet queries to put a label on it and contain it? Can we stand in the winds of fear and let the tears come? Can we befriend the moment and breathe into the bodily restrictions without seeking a way out?

Our bodies hold our wisdom. Listen and allow and they will take you on a journey of self discovery. They are the book to open in the night, when the stars are shining and the pain is speaking in loud tones. They are communicating, asking us to listen. I see so many who are ill this week, their bodies creating the opening to rest and stillness that allows this new energy a place to land. My friend is tentatively trying out this new perspective, of allowing himself to be taught a new language by his body.

I love how loved we are. I love how the universe conspires to move us always to our higher expression of self. I love the selves that are emerging, naked in our glory, knowing ourselves as suns. Breathe in whatever is there for you, knowing you are in your perfect place, all situations in  your life have been created by you and for you. Know that you are loved beyond our wildest imaginings of what love is. Feel it and sing it. I will be feeling and singing it with you.

Here is a link to info about the peace portal and how you can participate: http://sacredascensionmerkaba.wordpress.com/2013/08/19/the-grand-sextile-august-25th-the-solomon-s-seal-theme-transformation-pleiades/

 

The Tightrope Dancers

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The sun bursting through the clouds.

The sun bursting through the clouds.

Awoke with this image of so many of us, on a tightrope. We sense that our landing spot is just ahead, though our vision is limited at present. We glance over our shoulder at how far we have come and know that there is no turning back. If we look below, (always a tricky business as we are trying to maintain our balance, after all) we see all the things that we have jettisoned in order to have made it this far. So much that was near and dear to our hearts has been let go of. We feel the lightness and are glad. The wind picks up and begins to blow and it takes all of our focus to maintain our balance on our rope. We start to think of that warm coat, (think traditional employment), the hat that kept off the rain, (think owning a home), a warm meal eaten by a fire, (think family and possessions) and all that we knew to represent comfort and security. Yet, here we are, balanced on a tightrope across a chasm deep.

Our hearts tell us that a new world is just around the corner, we can feel its pulse. Our eyes have yet to see it, our bodies have yet to be warmed by it, our thoughts struggle to understand it. Our hearts dance and twirl with the feeling of it. Expansion ripples through each cell and threatens to throw us off balance with their movement.

We strain our eyes to see through the mist as we are so ready to stand on firm ground and feel rooted once again. The tightrope that lured us, has lost its appeal. Our feet ache from the strain and our bodies long to lie upon the earth. Being an adventurer has grown old, and the onlookers have long gone home.

I feel so many around me, taking the leap from the old ways into a new that they cannot name but can no longer resist. Many of my friends are like me, living in a room in someone’s house, staying with their adult children or camping out of their car. We move about as we are called by our soul, a modern day group of nomads wandering the highways and byways. We see the seeming safety of the old world, folks with mortgages and retirement accounts and settled “normal” routines. We wonder, have we made the fool’s choice? Yet, we go on.

There is a palpable feeling in the air and the earth that says we are at the threshold. The mist may lift in the next second, hold on! Hold on! We are about to land.

I see us like children, set free to run and play!

I see us like children, set free to run and play!

I bow to the courage and tenacity of all my fellow tightrope walkers. My heart sends out a ribbon of support as we take these last steps when it seems all the elements have conspired to press us ever more fiercely. We let it all go, let it flow over us and through us, feeling the flame of love engulf us. We are being welcomed home. There is a whole new galley of folks cheering at the finish line. Our brothers and sisters from the stars and our inner earth family, all come to whistle and hoot and clap their hands as we take our last steps on this tightrope. They are ready to wrap us in arms of love and show us around this new world we have longed to see. I see myself dropping to my knees to kiss the ground as I  sob with the relief that we have arrived.

Of course, tomorrow may find me in a well of depression, flat on my back and unable to move.  I am simply savoring this second day of feeling joy coursing through me. I am sharing this tightrope vision but am unattached, allowing the feelings to expand in me, no longer holding to visions or dates or anything outside of my heart. We are wiser beings now!

 

April’s Movement into Love

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One of favorite flower and art combos at the museum. So rich and bright, like our hearts!

One of favorite flower and art combos at the museum. So rich and bright, like our hearts!

April has arrived with much inner movement, soon to be reflected in the outer world. The Christ consciousness has anchored on the planet in many hearts and it is stirring things up. We are being asked to step out of our comfort zones and reclaim our knowing that home truly is in the heart. Just as we have been encouraged by the system to stay in one place and fill it full of material goods to placate and numb us, we have been encouraged to stay in beliefs and mind sets that kept us on the straight and narrow path. Deviation has been frowned upon as once you do make a break from the noose of society’s dictates, you become a free being. You realize how the system has been a set up to benefit a few and to enslave the masses. This is about to be blown open on a mass scale. The love, that has rained down this Easter weekend, is explosive in its power.

Change is our nature, reflected to us in the natural world about us. Nature responds and adapts to all that is around it, showing us that flow is what is important, not control nor rigidness. What is true for me today, may not be tomorrow. I have to be open to life’s beauty and allow it to call forth more from within me. My practice for this month has been to more fully allow my divinity to drive this vessel. Imagine no longer thinking about what food to eat or how to exercise your body……call on your team and higher self to inspire  you to take the actions your body desires. Our bodies are elemental beings who work with us, they were never meant to be something programmed by someone else’s set of beliefs as to what is right. Only you can know that and if you open yourself, you will find that it will clearly show you what feels good. We have been indoctrinated that if it feels good, it is suspect. Life has to be hard, doesn’t it? No pain, no gain has been preached to us until we have swallowed this belief. Hasn’t this become apparent with all the conflicting information about what is good for you? Yesterday it harmed you, today it is the thing to buy. Can’t you feel the manipulation within the food/vitamin/ exercise industry? There is no one size fits all. There is only you and your body and the relationship which you nurture. Try it, turn it over and see how you are guided. This is true for our minds and spirits as well.

My luminous self, swathed in pink jasmine vines, can't you feel it?

My luminous self, swathed in pink jasmine vines, can’t you feel it?

I have allowed my divinity to drive my mind, my spirit as well as my body. I let all of my team, my angels and guides as well as my I AM presence, take command by aligning me with my divine plan as well as the divine plan for my mother earth. They are delighted to have the opportunity to guide my way and can do so from a higher perspective, knowing much that is unclear to me. My job is to ask for their assistance, surrender to the guidance given and trust all will be well as I act on that guidance. It is so simple. Ask, surrender, act, trust. I can imagine that soon we will laugh at ever having had to “figure things out” with our minds. So much wasted energy! We are evolving into heart based beings, allowing our hearts to lead in all ways. It is such a relief! I feel so free in this newness. I realize that I am really good at this! How fun. It is our natural way of being, responding to the energies around us and flowing. Energy was never meant to be stopped up in the dam of our hearts or bodies. That is what has caused disease and pain. When we feel our feelings fully in the moment that they arrive, there is only flow. I may feel sadness and shed tears but once shed, they are gone. The pain does not linger like it once did, where I recycled it in my mind over and over, leading to feelings of despair. I can sob for a minute and be done with an emotion that I might have relived for days before. Oh, how funny that we would work to feed the pain! But I did just that, for years and years. What a prison my mind was. I kept my heart in lockdown mode, believing that kept me protected but it simply kept me from the love that I am.

I am glowing like this beautiful tree, soaking up the love of the sun.

I am glowing like this beautiful tree, soaking up the love of the sun.

April is blasting open our old belief systems and bringing a breath of fresh, spring air. How wonderful this is, I can breathe deeply of the love that permeates everything. I am free to love everything and everyone. I accept all that comes my way, no longer judging it as good or bad. I live it freely, knowing my higher self has the reins and would not lead me astray. I trust implicitly this path of awakening and the return to love. There is no other path, no other carrot for me as I fall more deeply in love with the being that I am and delight in the way my flame dances in this world. The miracle is that the more I love me, the more I love everyone! We live in a win-win universe and we are bringing that knowing to this earth once again as we co-create heaven on earth. It begins in my heart and yours. Fan the flames of love today and watch as your world is transformed. Let go the reins, sit back and enjoy the ride. It is about to get truly magical!

Seeing through the Mists into Unity

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The river flowing through the misty rain.

December 5th, 5 is change and it was reflected in my world. I awoke from confusing dreams of heartache and of many pulling at me to find their center. I noticed a burst blood vessel in one eye. No food settled in my stomach and I could not think of what to eat that would bring comfort. I felt at sea. My elder son came home and there was tension and emotion, a call with my younger son saw flashes of anger and frustration move through me with great speed at things in his world. All unusual for us as we have moved in a space of unity and effortless flow for a time now. I observed myself in the moment, took the breath and moved to a higher perspective. We were clearing our hidden corners as well as many for the collective, per our agreement for this time. I saw the unity of it all…….the joy, the anger, the frustration, the instability, the uncomfortableness in my body, the deep peace……a grab bag of emotions. Waves crashing and pounding the shore of my being. None separate, no good or bad, all there to be met with an open heart. All asking to be seen and felt fully and invited into the warmth of the flame, alive in my heart.

I retreated into nature, took a walk by the river. A healing space. There was a fine mist falling that made me feel like a plant as I walked along. Non-human. Empty of attachment, wanting the earth and the moisture, knowing it as all.  I walked and sought a balance with the earth. I felt the mother’s love rise up in me, the desire to wrap all in a blanket of love. I felt my tears. I felt alone. I longed to be met and found no one about in this new frequency I awoke to. Yet, I knew they were all about me. I had visions of their flames, and my standing in front of each one. Mother Mary, Archangel Michael, Buddha, St Germain……each known to me on many different levels. Can I stand and not be overwhelmed, not be reduced to a puddle of weeping on the floor?

The buck whose gaze pierced me through the distance.

A buck told me yes, yes I could. He was a distance from me and our eyes locked in an embrace. We both stood, rooted to the spot for a time, five minutes, maybe more. I know that I felt the weight of it, then surrendered, opening for more. He stood in quiet dignity, his antlers held high as he looked into me. He honored the feminine flowing in me and gifted me his strength. I received the blessing before he unlocked his gaze. I then raised my camera to capture his beauty and thank him before continuing on the trail.

White camellia blossoms that I picked from a huge bush on my walk to grace my bathroom sink, The bush was pretty but the individual blossoms displayed speak so much more clearly.

My phone rang and there was the smiling face of my daughter through the wonders of Tango, a free video call connecting our hearts from her in New Zealand to me in California. To think that she could join me on the remainder of my walk! Her cheery voice brought the tears again, weepiness has been with me off and on all day. It is amazing how the kindness in a voice can unleash tears that you did not know were there. She murmured sweet sounds to my tears, saying that 99% of the time it was the other way around. She relished being the one to offer me her strength and love.

Some tiny mist filled plants on the walk, so alive in their greenness.

I was nourished. From her sweet heart of love, the buck’s steady, strength filled gaze, the misty rain’s cleansing. I went home, to food prepared and a hug from my son. I took a long afternoon nap. A text had arrived from a dear friend saying, “I love you” and later she said she felt I needed her then. Another dear sister of my heart called saying that I had been in and out of her thoughts all day so she was checking in to see what was up. She helped me gain a little sense of it, the movement to a new frequency with its attendant disorientation. She has seen me through many movements so she could sense how quickly I was adapting and the grace that flowed within. She knew the blessing that I feel in each cell for this process we are all in. How grateful I am to be me, and play my part with my heart wide open. How grateful I am for all others, playing their parts that I could not.

Everything is holy. All of it. The shift is so close at hand. All that I know is gone and there is only the unknowing, and being present with it. I sense the freedom of this falling, trusting that I will remember how to fly.

10-10 Portal of Love is Here!

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We are here! We are in the portal of love. Can you feel it streaming through or rushing like a swollen river, eager to reach the ocean of God’s love? I am that river rushing as well as the silent pool holding that love flame deep within my depths. Oh, the shivers of love coursing through me! I am on fire, breathing the red hot heat of divine love from the dragon deep in my belly. All wants expression, can you see it in everything around you today? I am seeing, feeling, tasting, hearing with the eyes, hands, tongue, ears and heart of love this day. All responds to this vibration, this tone that is harmonizing our world. I have been listening for this tone, feeling it coming closer and closer to resonance, to that perfect pitch of love. This morning I awoke to the sound reverberating within my being. Tears flow as I take in this truth…….we are here! Love is the predominant energy signature of planet Earth. Your mind might reject this as you listen to the news that continues to beat the drum of all that is not love but your heart, ah the heart. What a discerning instrument she is! Yes, she knows the truth. Tune into her channel, let go of the other broadcasts that propagate the fear agenda. The love channel is streaming loud and clear, you have only to turn the dial of your attention. Love 2012…….hear the songs that your soul knows from Home. The song of oneness, unity, harmony, peace, abundance, joy, laughter, communion. That song plays on, as it has since we were first birthed into form. Why would you choose to listen to anything else? There is only the love.

Even the rock kingdom wants to play the love song!

As the love flows in, it acts as an agent of cleansing, pushing all that is of a heavier, denser vibration to the surface. Anxiety, fear, frustration, confusion, anger, pain, victim-hood, self judgment, sadness, guilt, criticism, shame…..all that is anti-love comes floating up. The trick is to observe it. To not identify with it. It is not you. You can feel it, embrace it……yes it is possible to embrace any of these emotions as you can feel the fear behind them all, the fear of not being enough, not being worthy, not being good enough…….all fear of not being lovable. Embrace them and thank them for the role they played in keeping you safe in the old paradigm. Then let them go! This is where you practice your mastery. You watch these feelings surface with joy in your heart as it is proof that the love is infilling your being. Let the anti-love feelings depart with your blessings. Call upon your mighty I AM presence to fill the vacuum created with your own light and love. Call upon your Mother/Father God to fill your heart with their love. Do this dance, emptying the dross, infilling with the elixir of love. Open your cells to hold more love. It is your intention that makes it so.

Love can bloom in the hardest of hearts, rocks crack open through the force of love.

Know that all that comes to you that triggers these feelings, is an agent of love. It is love undercover, looking to you to reveal its true identity. Take off the cloak, expose the true color of the love that is there. When someone comes to you with anger, return a smile filled with love. It allows the person time to check their script as your response of love is not what they saw written. There is a pause, during which they can choose a new line, a new response to your love. They are asking you to see the love that they are. See beneath the disguise and know that all is love waiting to be birthed. We are the midwives attending this birth in every moment. We are the superheroes, using our new superpowers to change the world back to the reality of love that it is. Claim that power today, declare your intention to turn all back to love. When you hear gossip, stop and state that does not interest you, you wish to hold all in love. When you think of someone in a way from the past…..she is grumpy, she is unkind…….catch yourself and move into the new space of love that allows others the opportunity to change, to be the love that they are. After all, would you like to be held to being who you have been in moments of the past? I surely trust that others who have experienced the Linda that did not know she was loved; that has been judgmental, harsh and unkind, would allow me the grace of being who I am in this moment. Let us drop old prejudices, old beliefs and patterns that no longer serve us or another. You will be amazed at the freedom that can be yours! Think how much of our lives are lived within the confining walls of out-dated belief systems. My mother did not love me, he is cruel, I do not like those sorts of people…….yikes, it is a wonder that we survived such self limiting confines! Take the shackles off of your heart and know that you are powerful enough to turn anything to love. Yes, you can love George Bush and anyone that you perceive to have limited others freedom. As you now understand that by matching their energy of deceit, of manipulation with your stance of anger or judgment, you are perpetuating their role in this earth. As you feel only the love, all that plays the parts of non-love, no longer has a role. So they must bow out of the play, as there is no script for them to read. You free them to play a new role. Win-win……the new paradigm of love.

Love is pouring through my heart like the water in this fountain, gushing love!

Do you feel the power of this?! Love is the greatest power in the universe. All must melt in its embrace. Be an ambassador of love. State your intention today to turn all that comes to you, through your thoughts, your feelings, the people you encounter…..all of it……turn all of it to love by beaming it so purely from your heart. Let me know what you discover. I promise you, once you begin to taste the freedom that love allows, you will never go back. Love is intoxicating, the greatest elixir of all. How funny that we have spent so long avoiding it, putting up walls against it, guarding ourselves from it. Oh, the backwards things we have been taught.

Today, 10-10, tune your dial to love and sing its notes and feel the change in the air about you. My heart is singing your love song and mine. Can you hear it?

Flowing with the Waves of March

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March has come in so breezy, with up and down drafts of energy. I am learning to flow and ride the waves as they come. This small creek runs through the park where I like to walk most days. Rock strewn in places, smooth going in others…nature always showing me the way. Embracing it all, not complaining of the rocks or narrow passages, simply flowing as that is its nature. As ours is to love, to let our heart lights shine out, no matter what comes into our lives. The refrain, “Resist nothing” has had big play time in my head of late. As I focus on this, I have been surprised at all the moments where resistance still lurked. There is a friend of the homeowner whose house I am renting, who came over to do yard work. He was dear, brought me oranges and lemons and even split a bunch of kindling wood for me. We had a nice chat and I sent him off with some gingersnaps warm from the oven.  He told me that he would likely be coming once or twice a week this month to work on projects. I found myself feeling hemmed in at that thought, not sure I wanted to be social that often. Resisting because I wanted the freedom of knowing I could come and go in the yard in my space of solitude. I know that focusing on the not wanting, creates just that. In a space of allowing, I can trust that when he does show up, it will be a wonderful experience, not something I need to push against.

Embracing all, resisting none. I stopped at an art store for my son to use a gift card. He was only going to be 5 minutes. I decided it was not enough time to warrent figuring out how to put money in a machine that printed a little ticket to attach to your windshield. I went into the store and as we were standing at the check out counter, we saw a parking meter guy placing a ticket under my wiperblade. Argh! Embracing all….not quite! I felt anger flood through me, at myself and the silly system. Then tears as it seemed to represent all the rules and regulations that we have lived under for so long. I felt the weight and limitations of this 3D life and the tears were for all of us. Thank God freedom is at hand and our lives will flow with more openness and light. I was able to laugh after a bit and be grateful for the experience, perhaps it happened for me to express that anger thoroughly and then let it go, clearing that energy. I am moving into the space of seeing it all as a gift from my higher self. All orchestrated expressly for me, for my growth and evolution back into the love that I am. How wonderful it is!

Lying in front of the fire has been a source of such joy for me! I love an open fireplace as you hear all the pops and cracks.

It has been days since I wrote the above. The solar flares have been intense, pushing me into the ground it seems. All beautiful energy from our dear sun to support us to evolve. And tonight the moon has joined by shining her full face down at me. I have not been able to do much of anything, even writing was too far a reach. I made an appointment to get my hair cut but had to cancel it because I was not up for the energy in such a  place. My days are so free that to have a time to meet felt so out of place. I truly need to move as I feel to move. Today, that was not so much. I am allowing my body to lead. Two separate events that required a lot of driving came up of late and I pulled out of both.  Not easy to do as I do not want to disappoint friends when I had made a plan to travel to see them. My personality self had an agenda but my body is trumping all. My body simply said, “No, I am not moving. I am resting.”

Then this energy forecast for March came in my inbox and spoke directly to what I had experienced (I love when this happens!) http://leeharrisenergy.blogspot.com/ Here are the lines that struck me: “Hence one of the first big themes of March – Who comes first? You or those you are in relationship with and to? March will see you needing to ask yourself this question many times. Can you trust that what is right for you is also absolutely perfect for those around you?”

On my walk with my daughter, we felt we were in fairy land with all the sweet scents and blossoms.

Wow, that is a lot of trust! We are not programmed that way at all. I am learning it but it is not easy as it is a new way of being in relationship as Lee points out in his article. Yet if we are to evolve into being in our truth moment to moment, we must begin somewhere. Even if it means folks are disappointed in us or upset with us. The one that I can no longer afford to have upset, is me! I have to take care of my needs first and foremost if I am to be in my truth. So…..can I trust that is perfect for those around me? That is taking some practice as the old guilt comes in for disappointing another. Yet I am letting the part of me that feels guilt know that is old energy and we can move in a new way. I am trusting this new energy even when I see evidence that appears to contradict it. I can not know what is right for another, only what is right for me in the moment. The waves of fatigue hit without warning and my body seems to have no will to resist. I acknowledge this as progress as in the days of old, I would use my will to push through when my body was not willing. Now I give it what it needs when it needs it and the joy is there as we move together.

I am also feeling the freedom that is coming as we each act from our truth in each moment. Such freedom to not have to spend any time wondering if someone else is ok, if they are happy or not. To know that everyone is moving in their joy, to their own rhythm and that if they needed or wanted anything, they would seek it. No second guessing others’ motives or desires. To each be responsible for ourselves. Can you feel that wind of freedom? That is the energy of March coming in. I am so glad that we are moving this way as it will get easier as more get on board and we all begin to trust this. It has not been easy being on the forefront of moving in this way as it can bring energies of resistance.That has been a lesson as I can chose to go into my pain body about someone’s reaction to my actions or I can chose to remain neutral and trust while holding all of us in love.

My beautiful quilt from my dear soul sister. I love the heart in the center of it all!

Feeling such gratitude for a beautiful quilt made by a friend to wrap myself in. I have never received such a gift of so many hours of thought and work (no, she says it was play!) for me. I love the heart in the center of the house shape. I have found my home in my heart and I am immensely grateful. It is another freedom that I have found. I am grateful for the afternoon of my son napping under my quilt as the fire blazed. For the unexpected weekend alone with my daughter to play and connect again before she heads off for a year in New Zealand. We did not do much but laughed a great deal, took a walk from days of old, cooked and ate together. The simple things that make life sweet. That is what I am feeling as I flow with these wild energies of March…sweet. Life is getting sweeter as more of our true self is showing up to experience it. Loving that!

 

 

 

Happy Love Day

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Valentine’s Day……It is somewhat strange as we are in the  midst of changing our perceptions of love. We are expanding the parameters in a very good way. There still exists the aspect of outward signs of affection to “show” others that we are loved. The flowers delivered to offices so that co-workers will know that you are loved and just how much by the size of the bouquet that your lover sent. Doesn’t that seem so silly? Then on the flip side, the feelings of rejection felt by those without a special partner in their life. Oh, we humans, how our egos have kept us in a small place. How we have allowed ourselves to feel rejected and unloved.  Our hearts are made to express love, it is their function just as our physical hearts are made to pump our blood. To stop the flow of love, is unnatural and harmful. And our hearts do not love simply the partner in our lives which would translate to nowhere to express love if one is not in a romantic relationship. What a narrow confine we have alloted it. My heart loves, it loves my cup of warm coffee this morning, it loves this nosegay of flowers I made for myself yesterday from a bouquet, it loves this heart rock that made me smile as I discovered it on my walk. Ask your angels to be shown expressions of love in your day and see what shows up! It can be through people as well as things, all different relationships where we express love: our friends, our family, the mailman who is always so chipper, the turkeys strutting their stuff on my walk, the cashier who returns my eye contact and smiles, on and on. We are the ones who can let our heart light shine. We do not need any condition to do so, we let it shine upon whomever and whatever shows up in our life. Today is a reminder to do just that: Let your heart light shine!

Yesterday I had an interesting experience in my mediation as I was surprised again by my beloved showing up. He was waiting for me on a bench overlooking a vista. As we hugged and kissed, I found myself feeling, “Don’t leave me!” Before the feeling could translate into words, he was helping me to understand that energy of grasping or holding was the energy that would do the very thing that I was not wanting…..it would take it away. The new energies we are moving into with our mother earth are of appreciation and love in the moments for what shows up. He let me know to appreciate our time together as well as appreciating all the other moments in my day. One not more special than another as we move out of comparisons, out of duality. All simply is. And all is beautiful. We can put on the glasses of choice to achieve the landscape we desire. Today I am wearing my rose colored glasses, my favorite by far, and see the world as a place of love and joy. I am not waiting for someone to show up to demonstrate their love for me. I am taking my love out into the world, knowing that it will be reflected back. Also knowing that I am so loved by my Father/Mother God and all my angels and guides as well as my higher self, dear Sophia. And by me!! I am the greatest lover of me. I had heard that for so long but only now do I truly get it. It is the most freeing feeling as I do not need anyone to show me that I am lovable, I know that I am! I am so grateful for this knowing in my life. It has changed everything. Love you today, you are so beautiful!

A few years ago, on my 50th birthday, my three kids all painted me a picture. This is from my non-artistic (though of course, he is artistic, as we all are) son. He recently moved and unearthed it. I have it sitting on the kitchen counter where I can see it often and it makes me smile with the dearness of it. The mama turtle leading her little one from the known world of the ocean into the world of rock and sky and beyond. There are planets and stars up near the Milky Way. It is such a symbol of his dear heart and of our relationship. We came together to remind one another about our home in the stars. What a tender love this is!

I am expanding my view of love to take in so much more these days. I love the heater in this house that takes away the chill of the mornings and evenings. I love the undines ( the elemental water spirits) in the hot water of my morning shower who come to take from me all that can be released this day, I love the violet flame that burns through all the non-love that surfaces in any form, I love my art supplies that give me such joy, I love my car that carries me so safely from here to there. Everything is vibration and is wanting recognition and love. So yes, I talk out loud to everything around me which some may find strange but it feels natural to me as everything is talking to me in some way. I am ready to hone these skills of communication and more clearly hear what each thing has to say.

A friend related a beautiful story of love to me. She saw her mother for a goodbye meal before leaving to return to her home thousands of miles away. Their relationship had been difficult as her mother had been critical and harsh all of her life which was doubly painful as her sister had been shown a loving face. The dinner was a dreaded duty call and the last effort my friend desired to give on her part as she knew it was time to let go. She had stepped out of the pattern in the past few months, no longer rising to the bait of the old energy and setting boundaries as she allowed her visits to dwindle.  An amazing thing happened. Her mother gave my friend her treasure box. In the past, these boxes consisted of broken bits and pieces of junk. But this time, it was all of her treasures. Her dad’s dog tags, her mom’s wedding ring, cameos that had been displayed as family treasures, a string of pearls. Her mom told her that she knew that she would keep them safe. It was the big “I love you” that my friend had waited for all her life. It was grace. I believe that my friend created this opening for grace by refusing to participate in the old story any longer. She allowed her mom to feel her shift and in that, allowed her mom the opportunity to shift also. We can’t be attached as to whether or not the other will shift, we can only walk our truth as we see it.

In walking her path of truth, my friend opened the door for grace to enter in. Grace on the part of her mom who it seems sensed that her time on this earth may be coming to a close and desired to let her daughter know that she was valued and loved. She was not able to say it in words but said I love you with this gift of her treasures. Grace on the part of my friend who gave her mom one last dinner, out of the desire to show up with her open loving heart, once again. This was the coming full circle, the coil of pain being unwound, the resolution to a lifetime of suffering. My friend is now free to rewrite her history. She can look at that treasure box and say, “My mom loves me. My mother loved me. I was loved.” What a blessing! Both women freed to move on in peace. This is what is worth celebrating!! These are the true moments of achievement, when we have mastered our hearts. When love has broken through years of density to shine forth once again in its truth.

Rewrite your history today, see all through the lens of love. Know that where another could not show their love, it is due to them not receiving the love and support that they needed at some stage of their life. We can love it all, we are the creators! By loving all that has made us who we are, we free ourselves. That was our intent all along when we planned this sojourn and chose the players in our play. As we free ourselves into love’s embrace, we free our world. Time to go out into this day and let my heart light shine!!! I love you!

 

 

 

The Bliss of Being with Myself

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Blue blue sky and tree magic added to the joy of today

I awoke this morning pondering if I wanted to join a friend for a women’s group about self-love. One part of me insisted that I “should” go (should being the trigger word that alerted me to look carefully) as I feel guided to offer a women workshop or two while I am here. Perhaps I would learn something useful, so says my mind. My body weighed in with its knowingness by feeling nauseous. OK! Definitely does not want to go anywhere. I played on both sides of this field as the time ticked away. Finally I texted my friend that I was passing on the invite. Freedom instantly felt!

My body loved moving slowly, savoring the day’s approach. I moved downstairs to the kitchen to see what might settle my stomach. Tea and toast seemed to be the ticket. The sun was shining in the front windows and the couch offered the optimum view. I was drawn to the vase of lilies that I had set in the middle of the table. Their fragrance wafted over me in a delightful way. I marveled at their beauty, the tiny dots of

deep pink on the petals, the furry bits on the inner part of the petal, standing up to the light, the way the pistil stood so bold and upright surrounded by stamens dancing in attendance. Must be fun to have all that male energy about just waiting for its chance to brush up against that stately pistil! The flower seemed alive with sexual energy! I felt enlivened by it, felt that I was drinking in its beauty, drifting on the air currents of sweet scent, dancing around that proud pistil! Wow, all this with the sun shining so brightly through the window, stroking me with its golden touch of light. Had I ever seen a lily before??? It felt like a new experience, one which I gave over every sense to. De-light-filled moments. I took up my pen and paper and did a sketch that made my heart sing. I had watched my son do one the day before with his left hand (he being right handed) as he broke a wrist bone and so is wearing a cast to his elbow. For an artist, a big handicap. Yet he made a beautiful drawing that is my present computer screen saver: http://gaberobertsart.com/2012/02/february-2012-desktop-wallpaper/

I lay back down after drawing, soaking in my sunbath and toning all kinds of new sounds.

I loved how the sun backlit the petals, making everything glow with pink light!

I had a blast with myself. So this is why I had no need to venture out for more learning. All was right here, everything that I needed was being gifted to me as I allowed myself to interact with the energies that presented themselves to me. Everything is energy that wants to be admired, appreciated, spoken to with loving words. All kinds of ideas for creative handiwork danced through my mind. I went and retrieved my sewing machine from years past, and planned how to set up a work space to create in. Oh, what fun! I want to weave and sew ribbons and fabrics into something beautiful. Tapestries have been a theme that has been haunting me for a time as I see ribbons from my heart, weaving, weaving across the planes. I see the glorious tapestries that our hearts are creating with one another and the Creator. I want to let my fingers out-picture some of that delight. It does not matter what I end up with, only the doing of it interests me.

I was struck on my walk by the dark humus that had fallen from the space hollowed out behind the bark on this tree. Mushrooms had been growing inside and were now decomposing at its base. Just beyond is the verdant green grass, so alive in the sunlight. It felt like me, having recently passed through an inner dark, moist journey into my fears, leaving me decomposed on the floor. Truly, I felt hollowed out, alive yet deep in the earth of my own being. Today, I am like the verdant grass, gleaming in my vibrancy and joy! You can dance through me! A friend called to tell me that I had been doing just that, dancing all around her with her acting as the maypole to my flower decked flying hair and form. She said I was laughing and smiling with abandon! What an affirmation for how my energy was moving through the day! I love this universe. I love the dark days, the light days and all the days in between. I am giving up putting a label on it and relaxing into the beingness of life itself. 

I am so grateful that I allowed the day to carry me where it willed. As well for the privilege of having a life where that is the open possibility for me each day. I welcomed in more of me today and found her to be such a nourishing addition to my many aspects. What I feared has been disarmed and I look forward to all the aspects of myself returning. For there are more of us waking up every day and we are able to accept the gift of one another’s light as it matches our own. We are finding our heart connections and feeling the relief and joy they bring. Everything blessed me today as I blessed every thing.

Happy New Year! Moving into 2012 with JOY

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I was called to welcome in the new year with myself, honoring the sacred passage to the energies that 2012 offers. I lit my candles and incense, donned my robes of mastery and wore my crown, acknowledging my royal roots. We are divine beings and I was shown that it is time to carry myself as such in the world. Indeed it is this acknowledgment, that opens the gateways to our inner wisdom and gifts. The timing is so beautiful as the frequencies of our planet are rising as we awaken into unity consciousness. As we each take up our rods and staffs, our symbols of mastery and power, we take our places as the stewards of the dawning Golden Age of Peace and Love. It is time to own our expansive natures as we continue to offer our services to one another, to our mother and to the Creator. We came to co-create heaven on earth and it shall be so. It has begun and it feels so delicious!

BE FREE written on a wooden board

I came across this on my walk in the park and its violet letters spoke of Saint Germain and his freedom flame of violet light.

I loved this graffiti, BE FREE, on a retaining wall I passed, as it is exactly the feeling I have as I walk into the landscape of 2012.  We can chose freedom in every aspect of our lives. We can chose to free ourselves from roles that no longer fit, from jobs that no longer feed our souls, from habits and beliefs that limit rather than expand our outlooks, from relationships that constrict rather than ennoble our growth. Every aspect of our lives is up for change and renewal. I have read that the energies of January are about destabilization. Uncertainty is a place that we are learning to accept and be comfortable with. We are learning to grow our heart- lights and find our security within. There will be movement in the outer world seeking to throw us off balance as the structures of the old paradigm come tumbling down. The old way of doing business is no longer supported as so many have cried out for freedom and peace. It is manifesting in the outer world as we become it in our inner worlds.

How do we do this? How do we become peace and discover the freedom to be our authentic selves? As I reflect on my path, one of the first things that stand out is the mirror exercise. Standing in front of a mirror and saying, “I love you”. It is so simple and yet so powerful. For me, simplicity is a draw. I do not have the patience for lengthy and drawn our processes. As you look into your eyes, you will begin to notice aspects of yourself that you have not met, looking back at you. Introduce yourself, say hello and begin to get acquainted. I love the surprise of seeing a new aspect of myself peering out at me!  You may find tears flowing, it may be uncomfortable to stare into your own eyes but you will find parts of yourself that are seeking love. You can stand there and love yourself fully. Nurture your beauty by saying all those things that you wish your mother had said to you as a child, all the things that you wish your lover would say, all those things that you have longed to hear.

I remember my first experience with a “healing session”. It was all new, this idea of energy work and some new friends offered me a healing. At the end of my time on the massage table with the three of them gathered around me, one of them channeled a message from Jesus saying, “This is my daughter in whom I am well pleased.” Wow, did that rock my world! The idea that Jesus was happy with me, that I had done some things right. Tears flowed freely at this sentiment being expressed. You are divine, speak the words to yourself that you long to hear. Another example was from an older Indian professor at an ashram for Indians where I was the lone foreigner. As I was granted admittance through a friend, I was allowed to take a 10 day meditation course. This professor, who spoke English, agreed to work with me. At the end of the final meditation where we went out into the cosmos (I had no conscious experience nor understanding of this at this time, simply trusted that was where we were going!) He said to me: “You are a force of love in this world.” This was perhaps the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to me. I was not ready to own this at that time (4 years ago and about a year into my inner journey) but haveNote on sidewalk since come to know it as my truth.  Speak the words that make your heart alight with joy: I am beautiful, I am dear, I want to do good in the world, I am love, I am joy……on the list goes. Love yourself for this and so much more. The more I grow in my own light, the more I see the dearness of others’ hearts. We are such amazing beings; resilient, resolute, compassionate, loving, courageous, giving……and the list goes on. Claim these qualities. Look at this note that I passed lying on the sidewalk today. Don’t you just want to hug this person and tell them that all is well? How dear is the heart that admits it is scared. Who among us has not been in that place. He (it feels like a he to me) goes on to apologize. Wow, a master in the making right here!! We are always growing and stumbling and being brave and feeling scared. But we keep on keeping on as this person did. To be human is to experience the gamut of emotions, to feel them all and let them move through us. I sent my heart-light to this note writer and thanked him for his courage as I held him in the pink flame of love.

We are taught to play the tapes of “you are not good enough, you will not amount to anything, you don’t take care of yourself, you are not bright enough, you are clumsy, you are difficult, you are not trying hard enough…….yada yada yada. Delete those tapes once and for all. When you hear them, tell your mind STOP in no uncertain terms and replace them with new tapes of your own making. Create a mix that you would play to a dear child. You are a dear child in the Creator’s eyes. Gentleness and kindness for yourself, let these become your new year’s resolutions. This act of loving yourself, will create peace in your inner world and that allows peace on earth to become a reality. To live in a world of love, I have to become love. It starts with me. It starts with you.