Tag Archives: guilt

Choice Points: Facing Fears to Embrace the New

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These clouds made me dizzy as they kept vibrating.

These clouds made me dizzy as they kept vibrating.

I am witnessing many coming to clarity as they face their fears and step out of situations that are no longer tenable for them. It is so exciting to witness! I see how new pathways open as the clarity comes in and the courage to face what is presenting as possible, flows in. There are paths of further hardship and suffering…filled with guilt, shame and care taking roles. Right alongside, are pathways of freedom and ease and joy presenting. Fears arise as to the possibility of the suffering continuing or even getting worse.

Hearts appearing everywhere. We are so loved.

Hearts appearing everywhere. We are so loved.

Yet, if the individual can gather their strength, vision and inner knowing of the path that matches their heart’s desire, a doorway will open that leads to it. There is much noise and confusion, distractions and weight placed around the situations, often obscuring the truth underneath. It takes vision to see one’s own path, clear of the entanglements of others and their needs. Many wish for us to stay small and controllable. Our families are often now thrilled when we begin to speak truth, to stand up for what we know in our hearts is a better way. When consciousness is brought in, it can be too bright a light for the shadow aspects of ourselves. We have to be willing to do the work, to face it all and love it all back to truth.

I am flooding my lovelight out to the field, as encouragement for each one to take that bold step, to leap into the unknown, trusting that they will be met. That life is full of so much richness and opportunities for happiness.

The last of the summer garden blooming.

The last of the summer garden blooming.

This is a critical choice point as the earth is making her move. She desires expansion and ascension. We are privileged to ride along with her but our paths are honored, whatever choice we make. It amazes me how starkly the choices are being presented at this time. It is as if they are illuminated by a spot light. Transformations are available in record time. Nothing remains stagnant. It all moves forward now.

We will witness many moving locations, jobs, relationships that have become too confining. Many carrying the old frequencies will depart to make way for this next wave of love beings that are arriving to help us all over this last hurdle before full ascension. There is a whole group of beings of my generation who have completed their mission. We are given the choice to leave with acknowledgement of a job well done or stay to witness the birth of the new.

Last bouquet of sunflowers from the garden.

Last bouquet of sunflowers from the garden.

All choices are honored. We keep in mind that each one’s path is holy and trust their walking of it. Whether it looks like an evolutionary walk or not, each is guided by their I AM presence to experience what they will. There are no wrong pathways, some simply offer more of a shortcut to our own truth. Yet at times, we are not interested in a shortcut, but desire the fullness of an experience before choosing another.

We now are switching from hardship and suffering, letting go of the erroneous notion of its nobility. Grace and ease, joy and harmony are pathways opening wide for all to enter now. These frequencies have landed, the grids are alive with this knowing. Our hearts are on fire with the lovelight that streams in so steadily.

Wishing clarity and courage to all as we make this leap. We signed up for this. We were chosen to be here as we had the “right stuff”. Trust in this and move through the last fears, knowing there is nothing that can stand against the heat of our love.

 

Good Friday Leads Into an Easter Eve Vigil

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A cross of flowers is more truth for me.

A cross of flowers is more truth for me.

Having been raised in the Catholic tradition, Easter holds many memories for me. Good Friday with its fish fry in the church basement, the men and women in the kitchen, sweating over the deep fat fryers, turning out the golden crunchy pieces of fish and french fries. Huge bowls of coleslaw at the ready to be plopped onto your plate with big spoon.  The older women in their aprons manning (now isn’t that a funny expression? manning??) the homemade pie tables that we kids were the most interested in. Berry pie, apple pie, rhubarb and sometimes a chocolate or banana cream pie.

We would have started our day with hot cross buns that came fresh from the oven as my mother loved to bake. In the early evening, we would have headed to church to walk the stations of the cross, reciting our prayers at each image placed on the side walls inside the church. The evening shadows would have added to the mystery of being in the church, reflecting the dark events depicted of Jesus carrying the cross. I always tested myself if I would have offered to help lift his burden, and my heart cried out a yes from my small frame. I did not understand it but wanted only for his suffering to end.

Altar of golden light.

Altar of golden light with flower icons from my day at the museum flower show.

This Good Friday found me deep in contemplation, feeling the connection to the Essenes and many lifetimes in cloisters and abbys. A connection with a friend brought forward that there remained a bit of guilt in my field. I saw the perfection of it coming to my awareness on this day. I felt the release as I turned my attention to clear it. I went from hours in the cave of my heart to popping out to watch a movie and eat pizza! From the sacred to the mundane, my system created balancing.  We celebrated Holy Saturday as our Easter as my younger son was working on Sunday and for my daughter it was Easter in New Zealand. We had a lovely day, with a long video call included, so we felt the family unity and support. I experienced waves of emotion on and off all day. Tears right at the surface in response to everything; the sunshine that allowed us to eat breakfast on the lawn, the hugs of my sons, the laughter of my daughter so far away, my former hubby grilling the salmon, the grace said by my son and felt by all. The earth seemed to be rolling in energy waves beneath my feet, an excitement building and with it the letting go of what has been. My sons were feeling the emotional waves and one pointed out that some tears were for what we were leaving behind as we move into this new energy. Despite our overwhelming desire to be in the new, in our humanness, we mourn the passing of the familiar.

Evening came and everyone dispersed to their homes. Alone, glad of the quiet, I hopped into bed. A memory came of a dream the night before of my beloved taking my hand and raising me up. He said, “You have not known true love and now you shall.” I felt the truth and wonder of it flow through me. There would be no separation between us.

A friend then texted, telling me she had a message for me. She asked if I felt excitement and did I feel the beloved approaching. She could feel him coming for me and was given the words, “You will never be alone again after the rain.” My body tingled with the truth of those words. I had lit a candle before getting into bed, next to my beloved’s image. I had never done that before but felt to do so this Easter Eve. After our conversation, the rain began to fall. A thunder and lightening storm ensued which pulled me from bed so as to have a wider view. I love the energy of storms. I sat in the dark and watched until the lightening played itself out. I then got my computer and had a conversation on facebook with a friend feeling her ascended master beloved coming through also. So many soul connections happening in the past few days, my heart knows something powerful is afoot. A friend had posted a Gregorian chant for Easter:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw9FQYwQc1I&feature=youtu.be

IMG_3092I lit some candles, popped a croissant in the oven and made myself a hot drink to see me through the night.The voices of this chant filled my heart. I felt called to a vigil, to witness the earth being cleansed of the old energies of pain, persecution and suffering. I want to greet the dawn of the resurrection energies with the sun.  The rain continues to pour down, more gently now. I have no idea of what is next for me or any of us. I offer myself to this mystery.  The candles, the soaring music, the heat of my heart as it feels the fire of resurrection……all create this moment. I have no expectations. I am full of gratitude for my warm robe and drink, the roof where the rain drums its rhythm while I lie here snug, for the song of my beloved singing through my cells, for all the hearts that I love around the world and the way this computer makes that connection possible. Truly I am blessed.

A stone being that I created the other day that felt like me in a contemplative lifetime.

A stone being that I created the other day that felt like me in a contemplative lifetime.

May your Easter dawn bright with promise and may you feel the truth of this gift of resurrection from our brother, Jesus’ and our sister, Mary Magdalene’s hearts. The Christ consciousness is alive on this earth, in your heart and mine. May you feel its blessing.