Tag Archives: I AM presence

Trusting in the Beauty of It All

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IMG_1152Glorious cool mornings following hot days here in Northern California. Wearing my robe and slippers and sipping my coffee in a state of peace. I have a bouquet of sunflowers beside me, reminding me to radiate my inner sun. I am just settling back into my cottage space after a couple of weeks away. I went to Michigan to visit my sister. I so enjoyed the wide open vista of her property in the countryside. She had lovely woods on either side and meadows of orange cosmos that she had planted in waving drifts across her property.  So much beauty, she excels at creating beauty.

I was hit with the flu the night before I departed. I knew I was to be flying on 9-11 but had no idea of the endurance required. I was feverish and chilled, and had about a 12 hour odyssey ahead. I was able to connect to the pain so many live with, the harshness of this reality and the endurance and courage it takes to keep going. I felt such love for humanity, for our heart light that blazes forth despite the tight boxes we have had to exist in. I felt the depth of the lies that permeate every facet of our society, including the 9-11 experience, the truth of which has yet to be fully revealed. I was locked in my bubble of illness, breathing and praying my way, moment to moment, hours of sitting with my little throw up bag, grasped tightly to my chest in readiness if my stomach gave in to its urges.

The clouds and sunsets have been so magical of late. They nourish me!

The clouds and sunsets have been so magical of late. They nourish me!

Fortunately for me, it was one day of misery whereas for many, it does not end. I knew and could feel the pineal expansion taking place. I feel our organs and digestive systems are being over hauled. I sense we will soon be able to exist and be nourished by sunlight, food being a pleasure we can indulge in but no longer a necessity for our bodies to function. I felt my torso elongate and more light flow within. Fatigue is once again back, needing afternoons and evenings of stillness and quiet to integrate all the lovelight flowing in. Our bodies can go into anxiety as truly we are dying while living. The physical ascension time is here. Our light bodies are coming online more and more. All strange, new and at times, disconcerting. Dream time is becoming more vivid as this reality begins to shift and feel to be the illusion.

Sun dappled road, breathing in the trees' gift.

Sun dappled road, breathing in the trees’ gift.

It is a time to reach out to one another, to offer reassurance and receive it. It can be a wobbly experience with highs and lows. I felt positively pregnant the other day. Smells were assaulting me, nausea present, irritability and fatigue levels were high. I have not felt so fragile in a long time. Sunshine and warmth outside yet I wanted to stay curled up inside, cocooned in a smaller space. The desire for solitude, rest, quiet, peace is overwhelming. Yet there is chaos abounding. Intensity in the body, the psyche, the emotions. Many at their breaking point and beyond. I know that I am here as a pillar of peace in these times. I can feel the low thrum of my inner being, sending out the “all is well” tone while the surface churns and rumbles.

I trust this process despite feeling stretched wide and thin. We did not know exactly how this transformation into the new era of peace would transpire, but we did know that we would be a part of it. It is a time of massive completions for our souls. We are finishing all the loose ends of our lifetimes on this planet. Wrapping it up, seeking closure with one and all. For me, this is my final lifetime here and I know that I am staying to participate in co-creating the new love pods and systems. I desire to experience the joy of freedom, on what has been a prison planet for so long, and carry that experience forward into new worlds and universes.

Magnificent rainbow that we watched form on the 9-9 gateway. We are being invited to enter in.

Magnificent rainbow that we watched form on the 9-9 gateway. We are being invited to enter in.

I trust that this is happening as I can feel and sense its completion. It is done. We did it! Now to live each day in the knowing, breathing that into the collective to uplift all as we move through the dismantling and chaos that change brings. Trust yourself, trust in the love. Know that we are always moving to more, not less. More joy, more heartfelt connections with soul family and our mother earth, more radiant health, more freedom, more knowing and truth. Embrace the changes, even in the moments of extreme discomfort as all heralds the new. It is time, We are becoming our true selves.

Be gentle, oh so gentle with yourself. We are birthing ourselves, our I Am presences descending into form. Our bodies are offering themselves as bridges to bring heaven to earth. Honor them. Honor their needs.

A deep bow to each of us for showing up and keeping on. I love us so.

 

 

My Prayer Flags Speak to Me

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IMG_6002As I lay in the hot tub yesterday, my prayer flags brought me a message. I so love how everything seeks to converse with us and work with us to bring forth greater love. I was watching how the breeze was stirring them up, twisting and spinning them about. I had previously gotten up on a ladder to straighten and untangle them. The flags laughed and showed me how some that were twisted around the day before, were now hanging straight, and others were now tumbled. They surrender to the elements, allowing the rain and wind and sun to have their way. Here is their message:

IMG_5999“Dear one, you no longer need to use your mind to attempt to bring things to “right”. The elementals and the pink flame of your heart bring all that is needed in each moment. Twisted, upside down, tumbled…..allow all to be. The wind comes in to unwind, to move, to shift and your part is the allowance. There are moments of perfect stillness where one hangs in the void of emptiness. There are moments of gentle movement as if one is caressed by the All that is. At other times, fierce winds threaten to untether you, yet you are held firmly by your I AM presence, the cord connecting you to the Creator who ever has you in hand. Fear not the fraying, your threads flying off, scattering about. The birds pick them up and use them to build nests for their babies…new life out of the old. Thread by thread you are asked to let go. Know that what is true and strong remains, as you offer yourself as a vehicle for movement, a living prayer flying high. Rejoice in this!”

I embrace myself as a living prayer this day, open to the winds of change, the nourishing rain, the growth and weathering by the sun. I drink all in, savoring each moment. I AM a pink prayer flag of love. Today I am working on making bright orange flags to play with the pink, bringing my creative fires to dance with the flame of love.

 

Floating in the Mists

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The mighty redwoods are calling me to come play.

The mighty redwoods are calling me to come play.

The void, again? I feel as if I am floating in space, no form to hold to, no sense of “me”. The emptiness can feel uncomfortable as nothing seems to touch who I am. Opposing this are moments of complete connection with myself, with Source and the knowing that all is well, all are one and that love is all.

Then back to being a particle floating in the ethers. My body feels uncomfortable, no real pain, simply does not feel that it fits me. It feels heavy and cumbersome, slow and awkward. I want to lay it down and float free in that cosmic sky. In my heart, I know this is all part of the process of finding myself home in every moment. I surrender to it, breathing through it as if through a veil. No desire to do anything. Tired, a fatigue that permeates my cells and thoughts. It is as if I am underwater and it takes too much effort to make that kick to the surface. No, I’ll just float down here. Even with the knowing that life is up there, I feel no motivation to move. Everything that I have experienced in this lifetime, is done. I feel complete with everyone and everything. Nothing holds a spark for me. There is only this suspended space where I float.

I am ready to live in the new earth. There have been moments of being there, sweet moments. I hold the feeling of those moments and the vision of the love pods and the harmony. I can hear the song of souls, basking in their freedom to sing their true note.

It has been such a waiting game as we waited for everyone to come to the knowing that it has been a game that we became caught in, the Matrix indeed. We have had to wait for folks to choose to unplug from that reality as the new play is about to begin. My work is done for this stage and hence the void as I await the new where I am to create. I drift, life reduced to keeping my body comfortable as well as my heart. I awoke and made a fire, I look out at the overcast sky wondering if the moisture droplets in the air will coalesce into raindrops. I am desiring a latte and a croissant…..comfort food. I think of exercise and can’t reach it, my body too heavy to move. I am planning on making a trip tomorrow to see a soul sister. That will take me to Mount Shasta, the redwoods, rivers and the ocean. Perhaps all the natural beauty will shake this malaise. It comes and goes, as moments of joy break through but it feels like having a low grade fever. You are not really sick but you do not feel the vibrancy of wellness. Everything is a bit out of focus. The old is crumbling and I feel the dissolution viscerally. There have been moments of despair as the collective voice feels the extent of the unraveling.

Seeing life through a misty lens.

Seeing life through a misty lens.

Fortunately, one of my sons is going with me on this trip. Left to myself, the thought of packing seems daunting at this moment. But pack, I will. And tomorrow at this time we will be driving north, into the cold beauty. I feel myself sitting by a fire with my friend on the full moon, knowing there is power in our communion. I surrender to the desires of my I AM presence and move where she points me. I know myself blessed to have a warm house, good food, and warm hearted folks about me during this stage of the game. I am grateful for it all, even this time that does not engage me. For each day, more are awakening, more are feeling their own God self stirring within. That was the mission and it is being accomplished. I am grateful to have successfully carried out my role.

So, I float until the new play gets up and running. I am ready. There is no fear nor nervousness. This new play is the one I came here to shine in. Until then, I sit in the wings, radiating the light that I AM.

 

 

Think Better of Yourself!

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Rainbows and Christmas cookies.....

Rainbows and Christmas cookies…..

I was in a discussion with a friend when he responded to a comment that I made with the following: “I will have to think better of myself if I am to believe that.” YES!!! Think better of yourself in every moment! Let go of all internal criticism, know that it is your job to love yourself, no one else’s! We are equipped with loving hearts that desire nothing so much as to radiate that love to ourselves. Our hearts dance in glee to shine our light upon ourselves! How often do you allow your heart free rein? How often do you let your heart go on a rampage of self love? Try it, it is the most fun you can have. There is no thing external, no one who can light up your heart as powerfully as you can.

Please let that sink in deep. We are taught that it is all about the other, finding the right partner, being in right relationship….that is where the bliss resides. We spend time bemoaning the lack of the perfect partner or struggling to maintain the bliss if we have a partner. All due to the fact that it is not the partner that brings the bliss. It has always been an inside job. We were not taught this as self love leads to power and freedom. A free people cannot be enslaved. Do you understand that by allowing your critic free rein you are your own jailer? You are the one keeping yourself in a prison cell? This is why we can live in a country that proclaims itself the land of the free and yet be the amongst the most enslaved peoples. Only you can free yourself and the key is self love. Use your key and step out into the light of day.

My morning kiwi sharing her heart with me. All the universe reflects back our love when we know our own shine.

My morning kiwi sharing her heart with me. All the universe reflects back our love when we know our own shine.

I have been without a partner for years and have never experienced the love that I do now. My heart fills me to the brim and spills over in a never ending cascade to all those about me who are open to receive. It is a gift to receive from another’s loving heart. A gift to be treasured, to be sure. Yet the greatest gift is the one that only we can give ourselves. Open to the wonder of your own beauty. Honor yourself for the gift that you bring from Home. No other has your particular flame. No other can bring your piece into fruition. Cherish the dearness of yourself with all of your frailties and foibles. To be human is to be a wonderful mixture of the brilliance of the sun and the rawness of the earth. We are made of clay and yet shine with the light of a thousand suns. My!!! What a feat of engineering on our Creator’s part. She/He love us for all that we are. Not loving some parts, disliking others. No, we are loved in totality, in wholeness.

Who am I to contradict my Mother/Father God’s opinion of me? We are being asked, like never before, to breathe in our own magnificence. This is a greater task than to live with the conditioned images of ourselves as sinners. There is no sin. There is only experience. We came to play on this beautiful planet and we intended to roll around in the mud a bit to see what it felt like. We vowed that we would remember our light that shone through that mud. It is time to make good on our vow.

The community Christmas tree reflecting all of our lights.

The community Christmas tree reflecting all of our lights.

Let us claim our birthright this holy season. We are being offered assistance from all the kingdoms, all the realms, as well as from our own mighty I AM Presence. The second coming is here. We are being asked to allow the Christ light to descend into our hearts. It is up to us to open the door and invite Him/Her in. As we do this, we change the world. Isn’t that astounding?

These are holy days, let us use them to transform our world. Peace on Earth, goodwill towards men. This can be our reality this Christmas if we will it so. Love yourself as you are loved by the Creator. Let your light shine for all you are worth. Feel your heart light and turn on your high beams to see you through these dark nights of the season. We are creating miracles. We are the miracle. God bless us all.