Tag Archives: kindness

Cinderella’s Message

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The blossoming trees do not hold back from expressing their beauty. They shine!

The blossoming trees do not hold back from expressing their beauty. They shine!

I love how movies can bring us messages. I recently watched the new Cinderella. Her mother drums into her three things; have courage, be kind and believe in magic. These serve her well for the most part. In being kind, she followed a pattern we have been programmed with. She was kind, to a fault towards others, while allowing herself to be abused in the name of kindness. Only when her stepmother threatened to use her in a way that would harm her prince, did she stand up and say no more. How often have we done this, allowed ourselves to be dishonored and abused, yet standing up for others that we care for. The message we inherit is to be kind to all, except ourselves. Somehow we feel we can bear it for ourselves but not for others. Yet in truth, we are all one. So by allowing ourselves to be mistreated, we allow that behavior to continue. It is time to know that kindness begins, first and foremost, with ourselves. We serve no one by accepting abuse of any kind, not physical nor emotional. It may not leave marks, but emotional abuse is every bit as damaging to our hearts. This is coming to an end as we each learn to love and honor ourselves. We are deserving of every bit of kindness that we can muster. Our hearts thank us as we gift ourselves.

This lily holds her treasures close as she begins to unfold her beauty.

This lily holds her treasures close as she begins to unfold her beauty.

The most powerful scene of the movie for me, was when Cinderella was walking down the stairs to meet the prince once again, this time in her rags, to try on the glass slipper. She pulls from her stepmother’s arms, who is reminding her that she is nothing and nobody and not worthy of love, (that inner critic we all know so well) and she knows this is the moment where her life turns. She can play small and accept the vision her stepmother has created of her or she can stand tall and know herself as the love that she is. She passes a mirror on the stairway, sees her ragged reflection, lifts her chin and walks like the royalty that she is. She chooses to stand in her truth. Before trying on the slipper, knowing it will indeed fit and make her a princess, she asks the prince if he will accept her as she truly is. Not a servant girl, not a fairy princess but as a true kindhearted being full of love. His response displays his truth as he says, yes. His condition is that she accept him, not in the role of prince, but as a young man doing his best to live a life of truth. The prince had to defy convention by not marrying to create advantages for his kingdom, but to follow his heart. They each open to embodying their truth at the risk of losing the one that they love. As truly, it is only in doing so, that the love can flourish.

As warmth enfolds her, the lily blossoms into her full beauty, just as each heart does when it feels the warmth of love.

As warmth enfolds her, the lily blossoms into her full beauty, just as each heart does when it feels the warmth of love.

How often have we turned from one who truly saw us, as we feared to let down our mask. We have been indoctrinated that we are not worthy and we play this out by choosing to be with those who do not see us, rather than the one who will open our hearts to our own love and truth. This was beautifully expressed in another movie, You’re Not You.Hillary Swank plays the role of a beautiful young pianist who gets Lou Gehrig disease. Her outer life shrinks as her inward life grows. A young tough, hardened woman becomes her caregiver and friend. They each teach one another so much about love. Hillary moves from victim consciousness to taking responsibility for the demise of her marriage. She tells her husband that, “We created this.” It is not just his fault. She recalls him looking at her early in their relationship, and how she made the decision in that moment, to be the woman that he saw rather than to be herself. She remembers a man who saw her truly and how she turned from him, choosing instead the one who could not see her. We are freeing ourselves from these false notions, realizing the price we pay when we try to be someone who we are not. The young woman in the story has allowed herself to be used by a married professor while there is a young man who sees her truly. Both of the women’s mothers fill their heads with tales of “you are not enough, you are not acceptable as you are”. It takes such courage to allow ourselves to be seen, with no cloak, no mask, no cover up. To turn from the programming of old and embrace what our hearts know. I think of us all standing naked before our own higher self, before the Creator. There are no fancy shoes or clothes or degrees or roles to identify us. There are only our hearts’ flames to tell the story of who we are.  Our flame shows up in our eyes, which are indeed the windows to our souls, broadcasting our truth for others to see. To look deeply into another’s eyes, is to fall in love. We are one being, coming to recognize ourselves. How beautiful our world becomes!

 

 

Kindness Takes on a New Meaning

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Water and sky.....what a world!

KIndness is a quality that most will agree is a good one. As with most values and beliefs that I have held, I find that we were fed a false or limited version of the truth. We like concepts like kindness as it has a warm and fuzzy feel. I like warm and fuzzy yet not at the expense of truth. I am discovering that it is the energy behind the concept that makes all the difference. Much of the time, surface kindness masks resentment. I know that was true for me in the past. I acted in ways to “be kind” yet in doing so, neglected my own needs. Over time, that led to resentment as my ego cried out for acknowledgment.  I sacrificed my own comfort levels to take the “higher road” of kindness. We were taught that this was the path of being a “good person”. Give more than receive. Always offer a helping hand. So many platitudes which hold value if seen in a new light whereby I make myself part of the equation.  I reject the notion of putting myself last. I have come to the the knowing that my needs are to be met first and foremost. Only when my cup is full, do I have something to offer to others.

It can be a mark of kindness to set a boundary with another. To claim our space. If I hold my space as sacred, I have the right and even the duty to myself, to maintain a boundary as to who I allow to enter in. I might meet someone in a public space and spend time together yet not feel that their energy is one that I would chose in my sacred space. I can set a boundary on how much time I can give in conversation, in interaction with another as my soul has claim on expanses of my time for stillness and contemplation. When I honor the needs of my soul, I can be fully present with others when I choose to engage.

Filing my cup with kindness by gifting myself a visit to this beautiful land to play with my beautiful daughter.

Kindness then can appear as something else to another if they feel that their needs are not being met by me. I have come to know that if I am following the path of my highest good in any situation, then it cannot harm another. I may disappoint another, annoy another but that may be the kindest thing of all. We are taught that it is better to make everyone comfortable even if it comes at our own expense. Kindness is not always comfortable. I have to be willing to speak my truth and receive unpleasant reaction energy. That may be the true kindness that I can show another. It is not easy nor comfortable and it may take deep breathing at times. On the small scale, I am one who will tell you if you have something caught between your teeth or a zipper unzipped……on a larger scale I may point our that one is being manipulative in their use of energy and I do not appreciate it. Not comfortable to speak of yet it is this type of kindness that I am most grateful for when others have dared speak it to me.

We are all teachers for one another. If you come to me and ask for something that does not feel right for me to give (my old self would have given but felt uncomfortable or unhappy) you may react when I say no. Yet that no is a yes to myself and it alerts you to a place in you that may desire to be looked at. And the same is true for myself when another sets a limit on a way that I am interacting. I am seeing so clearly how we trigger one another and act in ways to release any lingering unconscious patterns that we may hold. That is an act of kindness. To speak truth without regard to the reaction that it elicits. I temper it with, this is my truth as I see it,  for each one’s truth is their own. Mine changes frequently as I evolve on this path. It is not easy to discern our highest truth at times as our old patterns pull us back into unconscious ways of relating and moving in this world. This is especially true with family members where there we have worn such deep grooves in our brains of old ways of relating. I was cast as the “good daughter” by my family of origin and when I outgrew the role, I outgrew my family as they could not accept me relinquishing the role. My younger sister called me in despair, saying, “Oh no, now they have made me the good daughter! Help!” These relations call us to be fully present and conscious in our reactions, acting authentically as we feel our truth rather than allowing the old role to play us unconsciously.

I am seeing that when someone’s actions trigger a reaction in me, they have gifted me as I am now alerted to an area that wants attention. If I feel judgmental, what part of me is needing love? If I feel angry, what part of me feels violated? I can look to myself for cause as well as resolution. Almost all of it comes down to lack of love. With this expanded viewpoint of anything that causes me to move from peace, I can see the kindness of those souls who are bringing me the opportunity to move more fully into peace. In truth, our enemies (isn’t that word strange? the concept feels so foreign) are our greatest teachers as they help us see where we still have work to do to be free. Inner peace is freedom like no other.

Soaring free as I care for myself allowing me to send my energies across the seas.

I love discovering these patterns with folks in my life. One dear to me on the soul level has been a wonderful teacher as he feels out all the paths of unconsciousness in me and comes in on those paths to alert me where I am still unconscious. I so appreciate this in him. He illuminates the pathway until I set a boundary and close that pathway.  He then seeks another until I am conscious in all aspects. This then truly frees him to be conscious as he no longer has that role to play. So my setting boundaries is an act of kindness to him and his seemingly unconscious behavior, is an act of kindness to me. I feel waves of gratitude these days for all the bearers of what appeared as hardship in my life. I send thank yous out to them for playing their roles in my life. It may have appeared as anything but kind yet all were acts of kindness on a soul level to help me awaken to my truth.

The concept of kindness expands as we do. I am ready to live in a world where kindness is expressed by all, for themselves, first and foremost. This will naturally lead to it being expressed to others. We will all be bathed in the waters of kindness. As we care for ourselves, we care for all others as we are all one. Oh, it is such a win-win universe that we live in! I am so grateful!

 

 

 

 


 

Hearts Overflowing

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This blossom represents to me our hearts, that are being opened by the light of love that is streaming onto our planet.


Hearts are overflowing with emotions these days. I am seeing it in my loved ones, as so much comes to the surface. Today my daughter and I each shed some tears as we moved through some old patterning. My sister said that she seems to cry all the time these days. My son came home depleted from work, I suggested a salt bath and a good cry while he was in it to let some of the tension drain away. It is more difficult for men in our culture to allow themselves the tears. I can recall a Friday afternoon at work, getting ready to head home after an intense week. My boss and I were speaking of an issue that had been troubling, I said, “I am going home to watch a sad movie and have a grand old cry.” He looked at me in amazement and replied, ” I wish that I could do that.” I wished that he could allow himself that release also. More than water is produced, there are actually chemicals released that help us shift our moods. It is interesting how more and more, science is proving what was thought to be simply stories or old wives’ tales, to be fact.


I believe that we have to learn to dance through this shift that is taking place. We have a few tools at our disposal: being in the moment, letting go of shoulds, expressing our truth, letting go of the why about life, taking a deep breath, accepting what is, expressing gratitude are some that come to mind . There are others but we are making much of this up as we go. I see it as a dance, moving back into a known series of steps here, exploring a new step there, finding that fun, taking a few more twirls, getting off balance, returning to the familiar to stabilize ourselves, a breath or two and then stepping out there in a new way once again.

In all this, we have to be so kind to ourselves and everyone around us. We have all lived through our own internal earthquakes and tsunamis. We can say, “I don’ t have it as bad as that person in Japan or that man in Libya.” Yet, our internal landscape is being uprooted and no one on the planet is immune at this time. We cannot tell by looking at someone, no matter how self assured an appearance they present, what they are currently dealing with. Dealing with losing your home is not worse than watching your loved one become lost in the fog of Alzheimer’s. Losing a dear pet is no less a loss than losing your business. You can say that there are degrees of loss or of difficulties but the heart feels it all as loss. Degrees do not matter, the heart registers pain. So, be gentle with yourselves in your losses, your letting gos. We are all going through it and even when it is some part of us that we are ready to release, there is still a grieving for what was. I think that we need to honor all that is going and honor ourselves as we move through this process. Kindness is the new currency of the land. It asks to be spent every day, on ourselves and others.

The love is streaming in, opening hearts far and wide. All the events on the world scene are working on our hearts, softening them, opening them. Our hearts are becoming entrained to one another. I participated in meditations this past week that had 50,000 people online all focused on emanating love for our brothers and sisters and for our Mother Gaia. Isn’t that amazing? So many people want to help, want to be of service, want to be a better human being. I have been praying in a way suggested by Dr. Emoto, the water crystal photographer and scientist from Japan. It is a simple practice, done in my kitchen each morning and night. It takes a few moments of time and yet, I believe that it is powerful. http://www.therainbowscribe.com/japandremotoprayer.htm

It is our intentions that make the difference. My daughter and I discovered that this morning as an old pattern came up, we were both feeling one another’s words as arrows when neither of us sent them that way. Once we cleared the old pattern that came up for release, and spoke of the intent held behind our words, we could clearly see the love that was being sent by each to the other. Our wounded aspects called them arrows but our hearts showed us how to see those perceived arrows as love. The wounds were drawn up to be healed and by staying present with one another, the healing happened. These are the moments to celebrate and recognize. We need much kindness and witnessing of one another as we stretch and contract, stretch and contract our way through this new landscape of the heart. Our hearts want to be clear vessels and are bringing everything that is blocking that pure love, to the surface to be healed.

Makes me think of Cupid with his arrows of love. Perhaps that story is pointing the way as the arrows that inflict pain to our heart, are sent in love (even if the sender does not know what he/she is doing) to awaken our hearts from their hiding. The pain is an awakener in a way that we do not really understand. I cry a couple/few times a day. Oft times it is in response to beauty as well as to sadness. I cry as my heart comes on line and I feel it more and more. It is so beautiful and I ache with that beauty. Our hearts are weaving a beautiful grid of light around our planet. We are connecting, heart to heart in new and magnificent ways. That is something beautiful to put our attention on, something worth opening our hearts’ doors to. We are becoming one tribe. The rainbow tribe of many colors that Little Grandmother Kiesha Crowther talks of. http://littlegrandmother.net/default.aspx (She is offering a meditation for Japan at 9am PST this Saturday, if you are interested.)

We are learning to witness one another’s pain from a place of neutrality as this allows the other to tap into their own strength and knowing. We can no longer see one another as victims as that energy no longer serves. We can offer our hearts, our aid in any way we feel called. We can honor one another for walking our walks. We can offer that larger, softer view that can see the new growth peeking out from under last year’s withered branches and leaves. The old must be cleared away as I used to do in the spring with my perennial plants, clipping off the old stalks so that the tiny new shoots could reach for the sun. We are all in need of a good pruning in this springtime of our lives. We want to blossom forth and show the world our beauty. Oh, the colors and new forms that are to appearing! I believe that we will harvest bouquets, this autumn, that have never been seen before. We are about to be dazzled by ourselves! So, I stand at the still point, honoring the losses, the letting go, the dramatic changes and the suffering as well as holding the knowing, deep in my heart, that there is new beauty being born.