Tag Archives: let go

The Great Untethering

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Beauty hiding in plain sight. My grandson noticed this butterfly.

Beauty hiding in plain sight. My grandson noticed this butterfly.

Yesterday was a day of silence for me. Nature mimicked my state with no breeze, no excessive heat, rather a deep stillness all about. A day of drifting with my mind floating free, my heart singing softly to itself. I felt untethered. Two of my children called to check in. One soaring in these energies and discovering her joy, the other struggling yet in greater acceptance of his life as it presents at the moment. Both of them were experiencing a new willingness to let go on every level, despite the heartache involved.

My heart drank this in and radiated it out to the collective. All is well. All will be well. Everyone is making their choices as to what their future will be. Some have yet to come to the gateway where all burdens are to be deposited before entry. Some have arrived only to turn aside for what appears to be an easier path. Our wondrous bodies are working overtime to assimilate these new energies of love flowing in. For many, this translates into strange symptoms which have the medical system scratching its head. For others, their relationships are strained to the breaking point. For many it is their livelihood or their homes that are threatened. Wherever we need to untether, whatever means can be used, our higher selves will make use of it to bring us to center, to pull our attention to the way we are living.

Our time at the beach, grandson delighting being in the midst of all the seagulls.

Our time at the beach, grandson delighting being in the midst of all the seagulls.

We are all being untethered. There is a wave of change that is sweeping across the land. We are moving closer to our centers, to that zero point of being ness that opens us to all possibilities. Timelines collapsing, switching right and left as we make our choice moment by moment to move into Oneness, unity, harmony. It is almost unbelievable that we are here! I have waited my whole life and many lifetimes prior for this moment. To live the truth of who we are and begin to access our creator abilities to craft a life of wholeness.

Someone shared messages of love with all on the path.

Someone shared messages of love with all on the path.

In the day to day, it can feel exhausting, repetitive, achy, anxiety filled, depressing, overwhelming and so much more. We each walk it in our own unique way. Yet, walk it we do. It is happening. We are moving into a new age of love. We are creating peace on earth. We have finally understood that it is all an inside job! There is nothing nor anyone who can hold it back when we create peace within our own hearts. When our heart field is neutral, all the drama dies down, the volume is turned down and we are able to hear the rhythm of our own heartbeat. We then are able to turn our heartlights on to high beam! Our heart field flourishes with all manner of beauty. Oh! To see and know our own beauty and to recognize it in another. Joy!

Now a day with my three year old grandson awaits. The quiet of yesterday replaced with giggles and play. This is the flow. How grateful I am to flow in this stream of love light!

Conduit Not Container

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IMG_2490Those words came through while I was in a conversation and have been echoing within, awaiting me to type them out. I witnessed some information I read, come in and light me up with a surge of energy and deep feelings. It melted beliefs that had been in place for decades in a moment. My mind then began to read more from this source, wondering if I was to meet this woman. I saw she was giving a talk in Mount Shasta, saw that I could make it to the event if it was important for me. I spent about an hour, reading more, listening to part of her radio show, speaking with a friend…..swirling in it. Just as suddenly as this wave hit me, it departed. I then knew that the woman had no further information for me.  What was of value, I had received. As the truth meter in my body lit up and I felt the sensations, it provided a mirror for me to see more of myself revealed. I could attach to the story therein and follow it further (distraction) or I could let go and allow the next moment to arise in its fullness.

I laughed at the whole experience which so clearly illustrated the concept: conduit not container. We are to let all flow through us, resisting nor holding to none of it. We have been conditioned to be containers, storing experiences, feelings, emotions and information. We have categorized them, stuck labels on them, shoved them in dark corners until we had no room left to be present with the now moment.

IMG_3134We know that this no longer works as we have spent the past few years digging through it all, in order to finally be free of it. We have learned to embrace our shadowy dark sides and bring all of it to love. We have opened to experiencing each moment without doing a search for a match within the memory banks in order to compare, contrast or label it.

My mind had reverted to the old patterning of wanting to create a container for the information that came in. It was scrabbling around in overdrive while my heart patiently waited for me to get with the new flow. When I did, I could only giggle. The information lit me up and I felt it. Old beliefs melted to be replaced by knowing. Done!

There was no more asked of me. If an action was needed, I would be inspired to take it. I saw that my heart expanded in its knowing and that any further pieces were to come from within me. This information had served its purpose by opening me to a greater understanding of a past life and who I am in this life. Gently, oh so gently, we are being guided to the truth of who we are. Our I Am presences are the wisest of mentors, holding our hands as we grow in our knowing.

We are starlight dancing on the water, no need for solid footing as we dance along.

We are starlight dancing on the water, no need for solid footing as we dance along.

In this new year. we are being gifted with energy surges like never before. We are asked to allow all of it to flow through. To be the conduit that offers no resistance, that allows the waterfall of liquidlovelight to cascade over us. We are continually washed clean as all flows, allowing the dance of interconnection as we weave in and out with one another and all beings.

Open, receive, let go……and the knowing grows. I love this dance.

Letting Go and Allowing the Flow

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A remarkable eagle sculpture visited on my recent Colorado trip. I love how it is positioned in flight. It is time to spread our huge wings and take flight!

A remarkable eagle sculpture visited on my recent Colorado trip. I love how it is positioned in flight. It is time to spread our huge wings and take flight!

I have been traveling…..on the inner and outer planes. It has been a solitary journey, discovering a space where I felt the privilege of being granted entrance. A space, void like in its emptiness, yet pulsing the energies of the ALL. The place before sound, before form. The ALL that is. I was shown a new role, asked, would I accept it. My immediate response, “Yes”, as I bowed to the greater knowing and will of my mighty I AM presence, Sophia and my Mother/Father God.

Even in the acceptance, the fullness of my decision came pouring in.  I felt the dropping away of all that I knew as familar, and hence, the grieving along with the expansion. As a visionary, to let go of one’s visions of the future that had been mine to hold…..unsettling. All dreams of the beloved in form, of the love pods of community, of the co-creating process, the harmonizing……vaporized like smoke. Adult children who held the visions with me, the template that our soul group came to lay down, running through my heart like a rushing stream,  to be carried away by its force.   A sense that this was a solitary assignment, one of being a part of the underpinning of the Golden Age rather than an observing participant. Oh, I had thought myself made for the joy and love flame. Yet I am being offered something that was beyond any idea of joy or sorrow, beyond emotions, beyond duality concepts, beyond any aspect of past or dreamt future. All that was clear was that it is only in letting ALL go, that the newness can flow into form. To hold any idea of it, is to block the flow. This was a startling revelation.

The clouds played with me on my road trip, so many hearts given and appreciated.

The clouds played with me on my road trip, so many hearts given and appreciated.

Emptied in each cell, all opened and bled dry. To sit in the emptiness and breathe. There remained only the pulse. My job, to allow the entrainment. To allow it to infill me, to allow its movement within the all of me. It has been over a week in this linear time, an age in soul growth time. My body, mimicking the birth process so completely, contractions on and off for days, nausea, the inability to tolerate anyone in my field as all of my attention focused on the successful birth of this new life. The need to be sheltered, protected from discordant energies, the need for beauty and peace, the nesting activity to prepare for the birth. Stating my needs clearly and having them honored, though not being attached if they were not. Knowing the birthing would happen and that all that was necessary would appear. Trusting, trusting with each breath.  The full moon amplifying this movement, bringing it to a crescendo. Thunder and lightening at the midnight hour, quick burst as the clouds released their load and my body birthed this pulse. Rivulets of sweat soaked my sheets as my breath came in a new way. I greeted this newness with all the tenderness of my mothering heart. Oh, you are here! Hosanna in the highest!

I have shifted an octave, stepped onto a new firmament and this morning, am able to feel the joy of it pulsing through my veins. I know nothing, I AM everything.

The misty mountains that offer their moisture to quench my thirst for beauty.

The misty mountains that offer their moisture to quench my thirst for beauty.

What I know from this space is that we are being called to let go. Let go of expectations that limit what we can experience, let go of all labels of self. Think of buying a new outfit and coming home to cut off the labels before wearing it. We must remove all the labels before we can wear our newness. Stand at the mirror before getting dressed this morning and become aware of what labels you are putting on. I am fat, I am a sharp dresser, I am a businessman, I am achy, I am an extrovert, I am intelligent, I am failing as a mother, I am depressed, I am tired, I am useless at dealing with money, I am weak in my upper arms, I am an addictive personality…….the list is endless. We have been conditioned to label ourselves from the time of our birth…..he is the shy one, she is just a pretty face, he is clumsy……on and on it goes. it is time to stand in the knowing: I AM that I AM. No qualifiers, no filters, no acceptance of others’ projections, no stories. Moving beyond the human story we have lived for lifetimes. Evolving into the divinity that we are.

The whales come to play on my drive.

The whales come to play on my drive.

My wings were given to me, taking my breath away as their color and form enfolded me. I was knocked off balance as I realized the stature required to carry them aloft. I AM committed to standing tall in this body, walking with the awareness of what flows from me, knowing myself as this blinding pink gold light. This beauty is only a fraction of who I AM, of who you are. We are beauty beyond our deepest imaginings. Dress yourself in that today. Allow the faeries to put on your robes, to bring your rods of power, to place the crown. Unfurl your wings and be dazzled by their brilliance. We are these mighty beings of light, come to light up this world with love. Our new roles are being given to us, the script the greatest love story ever told. I am so excited to play my part. It is time to own your majesty and allow it to reveal itself to you. Your part cannot  be played half as well by another. Commit to learning your lines and giving the performance of all of your lifetimes. The stage is being set, our collective “Yes!” is what allows the curtain to rise. It is show time.

I bow before your light as I own my own.

Loving Me, I Need Such Tenderness

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Blocks of color, the pink and orange sang. All play, experiments.

I am falling so in love with Linda Marie. Oh, how I love the soul that I am, the way I express myself, my movement or stillness in the world. I AM LOVE. Three simple words that are changing my life as I live them. If I am love, then it follows that I deserve to be loved. That every tenderness, every bit of softness and downy comfort, is mine to be claimed. Love is beauty…I claim that. Love is truth…..I am that. Love is freedom…..I move in that flame. Love is compassion…..my heart is a well. Love is fierce…..I carry a sword. Love is a field……I hold that. Love is strong……I can hold the earth.

Last night, a dear friend called me as she awoke from a dream to tell me that I appeared to her, holding the earth in my hand. I was showing it to her and saying, “It is so much more beautiful than we thought!” She responded, “I want that!” I replied, “You are on it, baby!” We laughed at this and knew it to be true, we are holding the earth, we are on the earth, we are the earth! All of it is true.

Another echo of this feeling came through yesterday from Nicky Hamid, a dear, wise man who adopted me as his daughter when I was in New Zealand. He wrote: “Nothing special to do, or to release. Just watching and knowing, knowing and sensing, living and dreaming, waking and sleeping, breathing and smiling, laughing and crying. It is all good, it is all in the Divine flow. No more story to entertain the mind. All is new, all is You.”

Playing

Playing

I so agree with Nicky. I have listened to a few things by spiritual teachers lately that felt so shaming to me. They were espousing some of the following: one must meditate for at least an hour or two a day, one must know the names of your guides to be on the path, the way is hard and takes lots of practice, the switch from our current reality to a higher one is a process that takes a certain amount of time, like years, one must be making money if one is to be fulfilling one’s purpose.  I reject all of this. It is not my truth.  I have held the vision that all can change in a blink of an eye. We can awaken in a second, the veils falling from our eyes. If that can happen for one, it can happen for all. I do not do formal meditation. I spent too many lifetimes in cloisters and abbeys, intoning mantras and inhabiting the silence. I do love silence, mantras, chanting, toning……all of it is a part of me. My writing and art do not earn money but the joy I feel when doing them is a note that informs and quickens the all. Any of these can take me in to myself. I allow it to find me. I am open to it in every moment and I allow it all to take me there with a breath, with the current of the day, through a violet sprouting in a sea of green lawn, flashing its brilliant color, through the flames dancing in my early morning fire, through the laughter shared with another. It is so simple. It is my intent to walk in that love in every moment. To feel the love and radiate it. I do not have to plan or structure it. I allow myself to flow into greater expressions of myself. This is a natural process, as this year of the snake is here to teach us.  We expand and shed our skins over and over. We are wired for ever expanding expressions of ourselves. Change is the only constant, growth a given.

The way the sun caught the orange truck and illuminated it, brought me to me.

The way the sun caught the orange truck and illuminated it, brought me to me.

We have been implanted with the belief that we are flawed. It is the original sin concept that is so embedded in our society’s consciousness. That we are a beast of burden that needs to be thrashed and prodded lest we fall off the path. That we are in constant need of fixing. We do it with our bodies, our minds, our hearts…..no gain, no pain mentality that has spawned thousands of books and programs. Work hard! Don’t be lazy. Eat right and let us tell you what that is. Get up early, be productive, the early bird gets the worm. LIve up to your potential! On and on we are bombarded with the message that we are not enough. We have bought into the belief that we need constant monitoring or we will become slothful. Maybe it is time to be slothful!  Our language reflects this: “I had a lazy day”, implying that we were not productive yet that time was of great value. Do we really think that if we let go, we would all revert to a baser nature?  I do not believe this. We might sleep for a month….and that might be just what is needed to allow the body to begin to find its natural rhythm.

I recently began to look through old journals and my heart cried out for all the self inflicted pain I endured. Lists after list of do more, be this, get this done. Eat healthy, exercise daily, pray and chant upon arising, send a thank you note there, push a child to do this, stop someone else from doing that, tell another what is right or wrong about their behavior…….feeling a need to control my exterior world to feel safe inside.  Believing that I had the ability to control anything outside myself. Believing that I needed to change to be worthy of love. Living the belief that I could only be loved if I was producing, caring, giving in every moment. So much energy expended!  Yet, I did not know myself as love.

The wonder of clouds and light.

The wonder of clouds and light.

When it all stops, we are left in the stillness of our own being. In that space,  I have discovered that I am love.   If I could take all the shoulds away from folks, all the striving, all the beating up of oneself, all the judging self or others, I would do so in a heartbeat. To breathe free in the love that we all are. To allow love to move us, direct us, teach us. To trust implicitly that our body will choose what it needs to be nourished, that it will move in the way that maintains vibrant health, that our spirit will flow its desires out in a way that expresses our gifts, that by taking the best care of me, I am caring for all others.

Jackie Kennedy is said to have commented that had she known that she was to die of cancer, she would have eaten dessert more often and done fewer sit ups. She felt she had sacrificed for an extended lifeline that did not materialize. Can we trust ourselves to do what is right for us in each moment instead of living so as not to die? We will all die, it is a part of the shedding of the skin that the snake teaches. In truth, we die many times throughout this lifetime. I have shed a couple of skins in the past fortnight, dying to old ways of thought and being. I now embrace death for the expansion it brings.

I am the tenderest of beings. A tiny babe like a young shoot making its way above ground. I am protective of me. I allow only loving thoughts of me to be sounded in me. I discern what feeds me and what no longer serves. I am quick to embrace one and let the other go. I spend much of my time in stillness and silence as it helps me grow in this moment.  I look in the mirror when I brush my teeth and smile at the beauty that I am. I observe what I am lead to, what captures my attention in the moment. When I feel too many threads shooting out, bringing a feeling of confusion, I breathe deep and sit in myself. I go within and allow all to be. Peace returns. The next  moment arises and flows. I have no agenda for a day. If there is a task to be done, I note it, trusting that my higher self will take care of it when the timing is right. The more I trust this process, the more fluidly it works. Stress departs, there is only now and now and now. Each now taken in joy, with the allness of me. When my being desires rest but not sleep, I turn to a book or a movie, to allow one part engagement while another part drifts on the wind.

Perhaps it is time for the love challenge, to care for ourselves as though a newborn babe. Let only what feeds you today to enter in. Let love dance you in the brilliance of your flame. Allow yourself to move as you feel inspired. Be the love that you are. I see you and know you as love. Do you dare claim that reflection of yourself?