Our Sun Is Blessing Us With Change

Posted on June 10, 2024 by lovelylinda

A lake in Maine where I attended a wedding.

3:33 am and sleep is elusive. There have been major solar flares affecting all life on our beautiful planet. Our sun, which gives us life, is blessing us with the opportunity to live life more fully. It can feel like the opposite as our bodies struggle to adjust to the increased pressures. The past few days, I have felt that I am moving through mud. My body is so weighed down with fatigue that doing much of anything is a struggle.

I have been back home, from my recent weekend away in Maine, for a week. My small suitcase still sits in my bedroom, not yet unpacked. My laundry basket is next to it, clean clothes folded inside yet not put away. My refrigerator is full of my farm share of organic veggies and meats and yet I walked across the street to the village store and bought myself a pizza. I have had little energy to cook though I manage to put together a salad most days. My daily walking routine has fallen away. I watch the rain and sun play outside my windows as I lay on the couch and read or watch videos. I want to sit by the water or walk in the woods but it all feels like too much effort.

New Hamphire’s White Mountains lighting up our drive to Maine.

I trust this process even while I long for more energy, more aliveness. I feel like a puppet on a string at times……animate myself for the grandkids, for my kids and then collapse completely. I choose to use what energy that comes, on these essentials. Bake cookies with my grandson rather than clean my apartment. Play dress up with my granddaughter and reenact her version of Sleeping Beauty or Snow White a dozen times rather than change my sheets. Spend time on the floor with my 10 month old grandson rather than complete a sewing project. It feels a bit feral as dishes are left in the sink, clothes in piles on the floor, closet contents spilling out as I began to reorganize only to run out of steam. This makes me uncomfortable as I like order and beauty. So I do what I can and then surrender to living with the mess until energy returns to deal with it.

I have been showing up to help my daughter pack for her upcoming move. She and my grandson are moving an hour and a half away. I will miss them both in the daily rhythm of my life. It will take more effort to spend time, no longer a ten minute walk down the road, no more meeting my grandson at his school to walk him the two minutes back to my place to play together. There will be a big space in my life where time with the two of them has been.

My heart has been grieving this change. I have been a second mother to my grandson for the eight years of his life. I have lived with him or close by him for most of these years. My daughter divorced when he was little. She is ready to create a larger family with a new partner. He has a teenage daughter so they will each go from a unit of two to a family of four. There will be more opportunities and adjustments for all of them with this move. But the spontaneous get togethers with family will be in the past. It will be more intentional and take more planning and effort to make it happen. The nature of time with my grandson will change. I am called to let go and trust that he will be ok, that my daughter will have the support that she needs. That my role as that major support has come to an end. This is a relief as I am weary of that role that has consumed so much of my life force and yet there is line of grief in there as well.

This is life, the grief and excitement, the sorrow and joy, the mess and order, the fatigue and the energy. Our hearts get a workout on a daily basis. I know that I am able for all of this. I know that our souls are always moving towards more experiences, more growth. I celebrate this for myself and for those I love. We are always moving towards more…..may all of our worlds grow brighter , may the ebb and flow get lighter and may love connect our hearts ever deeper.

Old Memories Surfacing to Be Felt

Posted on May 30, 2024 by lovelylinda

Nature and life circle back as new growth emerges.

Recently, old memories have surfaced at random times throughout my days. I might be walking and a whole scene plays out in front of me. They are painful memories that have lived underground for decades. As my knowing, accepting and loving myself expands, substrates of blackened pain arise. These are memories that I buried deep in order to keep my head above water. I did not know how to feel such pain and still keep the wheels of my life turning. I placed a heavy blanket over these feelings and pressed them down deep. I had to numb myself in order to survive.

As I wrote out a recent memory that surfaced, I was amazed by the depth of darkness that I had lived. When I read it out to others, they suggested that I flesh it out with greater detail as it encapsulated the essence of the last decade of my marriage. I sat with the memory but it would not come into focus. The basic outline was there, but the details were blurred.Was the woman blond? I recall the big boobs that my husband was always attracted to……where did we sit? What was the conversation like amongst the three of us? How did she greet me?

An Easter egg found months later , by my granddaugher, hidden at the base of a tree. Nature added its own fern design.

I had not been able at that time to attend to the parts of the picture, only the overall feel of it. It would not come into focus as it was viewed through a haze of pain. Why would my husband want me to meet someone he was having an affair with? He never stated this but every gesture between them, hinted at the shared intimacy rather than the work colleague relationship that he had told me that it was. Why would she want to meet me? Perhaps, he did not tell her that he was bringing his wife along. Maybe she was as blindsided as I was. What a strange encounter for both of us.

Part of me wanted to call my former husband and ask these questions. As I felt into that, I knew that he would back away. He has not been able to look at his behavior fully for those years of his acting out. There are huge holes in our story that he has no interest in filling. I have brought up similar memories to him with no satisfactory conclusion. He retreats in defensiveness or offers a blanket apology and asks how long I will keep him on that cross.

I have no interest in doing that. It is an exercise in futility to expect him to do so. These are my memories to clear. Whether someone is still here, accessible for conversation or passed over…the resolution can only come from myself, for myself. I had to accept that with my parents, that they were not able to have a conversation about what happened in the family. My heart that had desired the painful experiences to be resolved and tied up with a sweet bow.That was not possible so I was forced to learn a new way.

I had to find my own peace with it all. I had to turn the black coals of pain into diamonds of understanding. In finding the gift, the jewel in the blackness, I had freed myself from much of the past. I had more of me to move with. From struggling to hold my head above water, I have learned to swim in this watery landscape of emotions. I am amazed that my strokes are more sure and strong, that I can propel myself across time and space and allow myself to float in peace.

The other piece of this, has been accepting others as they are. My former husband and I are friends. We participate in family events and he helps me out with life’s chores; picking me up while I drop my car to be serviced, taking me to physical therapy when I could not drive, bringing me food when I need tending. How can this be? How can such pain live besides friendship? I asked myself this as this recent memory came up and other women in my writing group asked. I felt into it……searched my heart. I found love. In the end, there is only the love.

Always, the underlying love is revealed.

We have known one another for decades . We carry memories of one another’s parents, our youth and the raising of our family. To have him in my life, I must accept who he is. He likes crowds and surface relationships, I like one on one interactions that go deep. I acknowledge the places where we can intersect and enjoy them for what is offered. It is freeing to not need him to show up for me in any set way. To allow what is and find my peace within that. To honor the good that is present, without despairing of what is not. To acknowledge the love that exists between us. To honor his beautiful heart that is so giving. We came together to bring in our children. We came to help heal one another. We came to learn of betrayal and forgiveness. Big learnings.

The jewel, the diamond of that time is how I grew to listen and trust my own voice. He played a big role in that. He took over from my mother in that learning. Both had called me crazy when I spoke truth. It took me years to come to trust my own voice, my own knowing. Years to set boundaries that allow me more freedom.

April’s eclipse sun

A work in progress. Who knows what remains to be felt, to be acknowledged within my soul. What I do know, is that I am able. I intend to excavate all the recesses of my heart and fill it with love light. That is the truth of who I am. That is the truth for us all. I honor each one’s path to it and am learning again and again, to trust in “the holiness of each one’s path. “ I think that is a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh. I still fall into swirls of concern and even despair at times. I am being taught more and more to stay in my own lane. Do my work and shine love wherever I am. See the beauty of each one’s heart. Life becomes lighter each day.

Layers Continue to Unspool

Posted on September 4, 2023 by lovelylinda

Birthday balloon and flowers for my 8 year old grandson.

This morning full of clouds with barely a hint of sun struggling to break through, my heart is lifted by Yo-Yo May’s music that threads it way through my heart. My elder son stops in to give me one of his big bear hugs that infuse me with his huge capacity to love. On my walk, I picked a bouquet of wildflowers to brighten my table. Ah…it is the little things.

Unspooling….being a weaver of liquid lovelight, I often see images in the form of weaving. The past few days, I have felt the unwinding of the threads. It has been a journey of gradual awareness and depth of feelings found and expressed to a letting go, over and over. I carried the strong heavy cords to others in my life that could support and pull them through turbulent seas. Cords that could haul one from the depths and provide a lifeline to their own hearts. All of this, we came for. To assist with our heart’s light, to offer love unending.

Now there has been a sea change. We are moving into sovereignty and cording of any kind no longer works. Except for mamas with their little ones. Those hold connections of a protective love. My heart has pathways of love flowing at all times to my grandbabies. As a grandmother, those threads are light yet strong. They are not binding rather enriching from both ends as the liquidlovelight travels back and forth.

On the porch of our community library.

The heavy cords changed over time to gossamer silk threads that spun and danced with the movement of my breath. Now, oh my, now, this morning, they have lifted off. My heart feels so free and expansive. Now there is only soulshine….liquidlovelight pouring in and flowing out, in and out with each breath I take.

Where once I had felt triggered by the choices or behaviours of some dear to my heart, I now feel only joy and love. I am free! I am showering them with my lovelight in a detached manner. Present, full, shining. There is no need to change anyone or anything. All is perfect. I am truly discovering the depths of the mantra that I have held for years:

Honoring the holiness of each one’s path.

No longer repeating it in my mind while my heart was deeply involved in trying to change another. Now it is truth that I embody. A world of difference. To be free to love everyone and everything. To know that we all have our own I AM presence guiding us. That we all choose what experiences we wish to have. That we are all creator beings and create our worlds.

It is as if I am on the sidelines, watching the game play out. I have lived being in the thick of the muddle and chaos on the field. It has lost its appeal. I sit back now allowing the compassion to flow. I feel so deeply the tenderness of each soul. Oh, we humans are an amazing species.

My favorite color combo, pink and golden orange.

Now we are witnessing the birth of the new human. One that lives and moves in love. Joy is the new vehicle for learning and growth. Struggle and hardship are of the past ages. We have explored those for lifetime after lifetime. The peace that flows with the knowing that this play is over. We are ready for a new game. We are ready to bring heaven to earth.

Gratitude flows that I still have a body. She may be battered and worn but I feel the rejuvenation dancing in my cells. There is so much ahead for us to live. Blessings of lovelight to us all!

The Love Pod Gathers

Posted on September 5, 2020 by lovelylinda

A round table set in the woods by some kindred soul. Such is the magic to be discovered here.

Holding space as the caravan of vehicles and moving truck flows across the country. My elder son and his partner flew back to California to assist with the final packing. He was the last to go through his boxes of memories and to say his goodbyes. He is my sentimental child so it was bittersweet though he said more sweet than bitter on the closing out of the family home. Fortunately, we are always going to more, as my higher self frequently reminds me when I am called to let go. My son holds the vision of the new firmly in his heart and it is this shared family vision that has allowed all of us to let go of the old and take the leap into the new.

My grandson pushed a spot on this tree to “turn on” this fairy light for the fairies to dance under in the night.

My heart is flowing across the country with them while my body is busy clearing space to receive them here in Vermont. I feel as if I will then breathe a deep sigh of relief that all has come to pass, aligning with the vision I have carried in my heart. We are in a time of witnessing our deepest dreams coming true. After so many lifetimes, full of pain and sorrow, it takes a conscious awareness to shake off the old and allow oneself to embrace the path of joy and lightness that is finally available. This involves a clearing out of the old patterns of protection and all the judgments that we held deep in order to feel safe. Our fears, anxieties and habits, formed in response to a hostile environment, come to the fore to be released. All is up for change. We are gifted the opportunity to empty ourselves in order to be filled with this new lovelight that is streaming in. Oh my! We can live as sovereign beings, free to express the love that we are.

The tears flow freely as I marvel that I am still in a body, still here to dance this truth of love with the earth. I am so grateful to be in a place of such raw beauty. Yesterday as we went to a local pond to swim, we encountered a family of loons calling their wild notes across the water. Something alerted one and set up a cacophony of sound and whirling wings as they seemed to dance in all directions. My grandson laughed and said it looked as though they had motors under them as they created wakes on the water.

Walking and getting momentarily lost in the woods with my grandson, we came upon these crab apples shining their red glow. They seemed to light a path for us as we forged a new trail out of the woods. Every day, there is newness. My daughter came in from her morning run to announce that the small plum tree in the side yard, held one perfect plum. A promise of bounty to come in future summers. There are maple trees with a branch or two that are beginning the change into their autumn colors. The nights are cooler and as we walk barefoot on the earth, you feel the changing season underway. It will be an autumn of beauty and splendor to savor. We are harvesting the summer bounty from all of our gardens, tomatoes are roasting in the oven as well as bubbling on the stove. Herbs are hanging from the rafters to dry and zucchinis have grown so big that they are now food for the neighbors’ pigs. We cannot keep up with their production! Pumpkins are turning orange and growing in size. We will have plenty for jack o lanterns next month.

Rushing waterfall at our favorite swimming hole that we love to sit under.

A time of harvest is at hand. We are all offered choices as to whether we accept the gifts on offer. Do we open our arms or hug them close to our chest? It is time to be brave and fling our arms wide and trust with all of our heart, that dreams do come true. I am living the truth of it in this now. My heart bursts with a song that the birds and trees carry aloft. We are co creating that harmonious note that lifts us all, along with this beautiful planet into our rightful place in the universe. We are home.

Getting Out of the Undertow

Posted on August 12, 2019 by lovelylinda

A new technique for getting out of an undertow has been discovered. We were taught that you should swim parallel to the shore and you would eventually pull yourself free from the force of the undertow. Now it has been discovered that it is wiser to float, rest and wait in the undertow. In a couple of minutes, the undertow will depart and you are free to swim to shore.

I love this! It is so illustrative of so many of life’s lessons that have done more harm than good. We ingested these ideas from childhood, despite evidence that they do not work. If you try to swim out of the undertow, you may eventually do so but you will be exhausted. We have been taught to exhaust ourselves, allowing one and all to pull on our energy field. Yet by staying in place; relaxing, floating, we allow the energy itself to leave.

My grandson’s creation at the lake yesterday. We know when we are at the gateway of our own truth. The question is, will we take the step forward?

When someone can no longer siphon any energy from you with their pulling or pushing, you are free! They will depart of their own accord as they are not being fed by you any longer. We are programmed to sabotage ourselves by engaging in the push/pull behavior that keeps us in the undertow. Our higher self is always there, extending a hand towards freedom’s gate. Yet we listen the the voice of our ego or aspects of ourselves from earlier times, this lifetime or past ones, and allow ourselves to be dragged back down to the old shackled ways.

We do not believe we are worthy of being fully loved. We work to get up the courage to end a relationship with another or a job or a situation, and then we feel we must try again, offer our heart once again. The pattern repeats and we feel dragged down again. We knew it was toxic yet our beautiful full hearts want to try once again. And the result is the same…the feeling of disempowerment, of weight, of pain.

This is when we need to take the time to float, to relax, to allow the integration of what we know inside to be truth to catch up with our physical being, our personality self. Take the pause! Allow the swirl to pass without engaging with it. Float and flood yourself with self love. Allow that to be your life raft. It will carry you to safety without exhaustion. There is an ease that will open up.

You will no longer be triggered by the person or situation. You feel neutral. You have allowed your own wisdom to take the helm, to float and open an empowered pathway of love.

A message that I have had consistently appear in my heart in the moments of yet another layer of letting go is: You are not going to less, you are always headed to more.

I desire more, more freedom, more love, more harmony, more peace. So I let go and I leap.There is no debate, no internal dialogue necessary. I hear, I respond and life opens up in more beauty, more truth, more joy. That is freedom!

A Leaf’s Lesson

Posted on October 23, 2017 by lovelylinda

I lie on the sofa with some lovely English craft magazines to feed this burgeoning creativity that is flowing through me. The soft, cool autumn air wafted over me as the brightly colored quilt warmed me. I watched a leaf twirl its way to the ground. The peace flowed over and into my heart and I thought…..this. Yes, this is everything.

My note, my song is for this peace to permeate every heart. For all to feel this ease and freedom. There are some so dear to my heart who are struggling mightily, as are so many in these times. My heart offers a space around them, a field of love light to be used as needed. We cannot create this peace for another, we cannot change their path. We are called to trust them to their own I AM presence, to their own truth, to their own lessons, as difficult as they may appear. All are creating their own reality for their soul’s growth. We are called to honor the holiness and sanctity of each one’s path, as uncomfortable and difficult as that may seem when our hearts desire to dissolve their perceived pain.

We can become the peace ourselves, as we face everything that comes into our worlds with an open heart. If I feel a contraction, a moving away from something, I can breathe into it and allow it space. If I find myself fearing anything coming towards me, I can sit with the fear and allow it room. The energies are so quick in these times, that feelings flow through, morph and dissolve in a blink.

We are becoming comfortable with others’ uncomfortableness. No need to fix, to prop up, to make right. We can sit with someone suffering and allow that suffering. We can share that space without suffering ourselves. We offer our heart light as a field of love that can hold all that is not love. We can sit shoulder to shoulder, and breathe with them. We can see their truth and let them know that we know that they will find their way through this trouble or situation. We do not know the hows, nor need to. We do not need to offer answers or solutions. We know only that all will be well. Opportunities will present themselves and change will come about if the person truly desires it.

The recognition that I have called forth everything in my life, for my benefit, my expansion as a being of light, sets me free. Changing the perceptual lens, changes how I engage with life. I am amazed frequently with the intensity of the love that I have for myself. The way that the greater aspect of myself, gives me opportunity after opportunity to master a lesson, discover a knowing. I am in awe at all the beings and events that align to make this possible, time after time.

Once the need or desire for drama dies down, there is left this freedom, this simplicity. Life flows with ease and greater grace. Moments of intensity may still come yet we now face them with a calm heart. Fear is no longer a factor. This allows new levels of freedom. More and more, events are conspiring to assist humanity to let go of a belief in external things as a source of security. More and more, folks are realizing that security comes from Source, that inner light within the chambers of our hearts. The old scare tactics of old age, ill health, poverty, and dying are losing their power. We are coming to the knowing that we are never alone, that we are always supported as we act out our lives on this stage.

A simple life full of daily pleasures is my desire. I allow myself to become the leaf that lets go of the branch to delight in the descent to the ground. Will I fear the fall or will I create a beautiful dance with the breeze, enjoying the movement in each moment? The choice is ours. I choose to surrender and let go and see where this wind will take me. Perhaps I will descend and land, only to be crushed under the tire of a truck driving down the road, perhaps I will be raked into a pile and find myself thrown back in the air by a child’s body landing nearby in play or perhaps I will softly drift into a pool of water and float on the surface. There are so many endings and within each, new beginnings. I trust all of it. I know that I am cared for, as are you. All beings, known and loved by the One, by Source, the Creator. I am in love with having a part in this play. I am grateful to all you courageous hearts that came here to act out your parts too. May we all know ourselves blessed.

Mount Shasta Calls Me Home

Posted on March 4, 2015 by lovelylinda

My first walk, with the lovely blue bridge and Shasta.

My second night here, lying in bed with a view of the mountain in her wintry white coat. Last night I was awake every hour, vivid dreams, intense head pressure, the nausea inducing kind. It is a sign of an activation for me, a rewire of the circuitry. Breathing through it, drinking gallons of this fresh mountain water. The air flows in the window, freshened by the creek running in the gully behind the house, infused with the pine trees’ scent that line the pathway to the creek as it spills into the lake. Bliss for me to walk out the back door into woods that lead to one of my favorite lakes, Lake Siskiyou. It is a great reflecting mirror for Mount Shasta and a wonderful place to swim come summer.

Mount Shasta has sent me on many code carrying errands over the years, from Sante Fe, New Mexico to Mount Hood in Washington to the mountains in the South Island of New Zealand and beyond. I have been taken into the inner lands of a Telos, the city under the mountain inhabited by our Agarthen family. I have stood on top of the mountain with Adama, the high priest of Telos to view an eclipse along with my brothers and sisters. Last night was a first as the mountain herself pulled me in and held me in her embrace. Sweetness and a deep sigh of relief. Ours is truly a love affair. I am so grateful that I once again responded to her call to receive this homecoming.

The redbuds were flames blooming along my drive north.

The heavy lifting of the past years is melting with so much else. All that brought us to this now is no more. We have entered a new landscape which requires a new response. March is ushering in change on a huge scale and we are ready! Our hearts lead and are skilled at following the threads that weave our new firmament. On my drive up to Shasta, a friend called to say that she saw me weaving earth and sky. I laughed at the beauty of my work. Yes, I am a weaver of liquidlovelight. I work with the elementals and elements to create. They are so eager to partner with us, to join in the weaving. My heartlight turns on, fueled by my intention and we begin our dance of co-creation. I understand little yet bow to my heart’s deeper wisdom and follow her lead.

We are being asked to let go of everything we love in each moment, (this echoed in my being as I hugged my family goodbye) in order to be open to receive with the next breath. We are called to presence in each breath, receive, let go. We have been taught to hold on, when the emotions are ones we enjoy and push away those that cause discomfort. We have grown. We now know that we can be open to all that comes into our world with a grateful heart, knowing that it is all orchestrated for us, by us. How amazing and awe inspiring this is!

Diamond light dancing on Lake Siskiyou.

I have been noticing miracles everywhere, a softening, a melting of hard edges. The miracles are found in our inner world. A friend shared how she felt her heart melting in her relationships. She had not known that she had erected a barrier, a space that she did not allow others to pass. Now that space was dissolving and her heart wept tears at the love she felt flowing through, melting all in its wake. A miracle! Another friend described her trust in herself growing, her inner knowing coming on strong. A miracle! I am finding the letting go easier as my absolute faith and trust in this evolutionary process is a deep hum in my chest. A tone of such love, such beauty and oneness. All miracles!

We are all showing up for the grand parade of eclipses and equinoxes and universal lovelight that is raining down upon us. Yes, we are ready for this change. We have asked for it, cried out for peace to flood our world. We have remembered that it begins within our own hearts, our own inner landscape. We know how to let go…let go of old hurts and sorrows, let go of past joys. Let it all go so as to experience the new. We have learned to be gentle with ourselves, to cherish and celebrate our humanness. We have let go of perfection, of striving after an ideal to embrace the beauty of our own beings.

I am at the mountain gate and strolling down Wonderland Blvd! Join me!

It is time. We are here. I feel your heart next to mine. What strength and beauty! We are creating this new earth together, one heart, one people, one love. We cannot fail. Our future selves’ laughter and joy assure us it is already done. Now there is the walking through it, the living of it. Savor it all as our world transforms just as our hearts have. Take note of the wonders and watch them grow. Fed with gratitude, all blooms in delight. I love your bloom as well as my own. Beauty abounds!

Fragility and Desire for Family

Posted on March 4, 2015 by lovelylinda

An overwhelming desire to gather my family and loved ones about me is running through me. I am wanting our love pods now! In my now, this little unit of three is breaking up when my heart is desiring to hold on, draw closer, to one another, to the earth. I surrender to the flow. The in breath and out breath. My mind can make no sense of it. Timing…I do trust the timing of it all. I sense my heightened heart’s desire of the past few days is a sign of the shift we are all moving through. Perhaps there is this going out, in order to come together in a new way.

Desire for a home to call my own rises up, to live a more integrated life, to be part of a community. My heart feels on fire with all of this. I do not know how to create any of it. I know it is a frequency, harmonics and magnetics that draw it all together. I sense that the intensity of my desire is what will bring me to the landscape I dream of. Time after time, I have observed myself going through these periods of intense desire. There is the dissolving of who I know myself to be and a shift to a new landscape. I trust the process. The movement takes me ever closer to that inner flashpoint that transcends time and space. In my daydreams, I often journey to my love pod, witnessing the new arrivals, settling folks in, playing with the babies, picking flowers and dancing in the moonlight.

My son and I baked a rich chocolate cake. It was a celebration of the delights of this earth.

Today there is the sunshine. The packing of gifts for a dear one to take to our daughter in the frozen far north. The packing of my bags for a move to Mount Shasta to witness spring, the shopping and packing of supplies for my son to head back to Colorado. An offer of a freshly ground and brewed cup of coffee, the mocking birds singing their bright song, the air calm after days of high winds… gratitude is a presence that brings tears.

There is no understanding, no linear projection to follow. This breath, this moment. Sunlight displaying the fingerprints on the glass of the back door, rainbows bouncing off the crystal that has brought me joy in countless windows I have looked out. I love this house that I helped to create. It is a wrench each time I leave it though there were times when it felt like a prison. Now, there is only tenderness and love.

We are often called to walk away from what limits us, in order to discover what lights our hearts. Then the freedom comes to return once more and know the gift that was given in the place of darkness and pain. I have come full circle in so many ways, sensing the completion of spirals that offer a jumping off point to new ones awaiting creation.

The small gestures that fill my heart. Beauty

So much has softened in our world. A friend was sharing how in her drawing into herself, feeding only herself, letting go of care taking of others, a hard place inside, melted. She witnessed her beloved loving her, steady and true, despite her pulling her energy away. She knew herself loved for herself, not for her actions. Oh, what a gift this is when we recognize
the miracles as they take place.

Anxiety on the Rise

Posted on July 8, 2012 by lovelylinda

Beautiful bridge as I drove into Vancouver. Like two ships sailing the waters.

As our planet is being blessed with energies pouring in from our sun as well as other star systems and planetary bodies, the levels of anxiety are rising. We are being gifted with energies that speed up our vibrations, which will eventually allow us greater ease and movement in all of our bodies; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. This is an amazing gift. But right now, it may feel like anything but!

LIke this photo, the mast head could be likened to our crown chakras where the light streams in . It then is filtered down through our bodies’ circuitry to enliven all of our cells. I am a transducer, along with many others, allowing the current to be stepped down through my body so as to be more accessible for the masses. So on a high energy day like yesterday, I was in reclining mode as all my being was fully engaged in this process.

I love how the clouds move and change throughout the day. It is time to allow that fluidity into all aspects of our lives.

As the light floods in, the debris rises to the surface to be sloughed off. It is a cleansing process. This is where the anxiety kicks in. The ego self feels that it is about to lose its job and it is fighting to stay in control. Our higher selves are moving in to bring us to unity consciousness while the ego strives to maintain its separation. The ego cannot win as we are coded to evolve and move into oneness. You can help your ego out of its anxiety by having a conversation with it. I never understood the notion of eliminating the ego. It has served me well when it was in charge and I have expressed my gratitude. I then let Henry (yes that is my name for him) know that he had reached retirement age. I gave him the gold watch for a job well done and introduced him to Sophia, my higher self, who now runs the show. For the most part, Henry has been gracious in his retirement though occasionally he throws out some advice which I thank him for, reminding him that he is free to drift along now, not concerning himself with the workings of my days. He has grown to be fond of Sophia and admits that she is skilled in running my show.

There is a clearing that is taking place to allow room for the new aspects of ourselves to enter in. We are in the process of bringing our entire soul group into this body. We can invite in all the highest vibrational aspects from all of our many lives and make use of our myriad gifts garnered throughout time and space. How fun is that!!! The anxiety arises in the letting go. The fear that we are losing something instead of the joy of all that is to be gained. This is being outpictured through the loss of jobs, relationships, homes, security. The outer structures of society are crumbling, forcing us to go inside for some connection. This is all part of the plan to move us from an outer directed world to an inner directed one where we know our connection to Source. All of our security is internal. We were taught to look outside to social security, an insurance policy, dollars in the bank, a corporation as the means of survival in this world. Now the pendulum has swung and we must face ourselves in a new way.

Two insects mating, i moved them outside and they did not register my interference at all. They were so fully in their moment that the outer disturbance held no import for them.

To let go, we must trust that there is something better coming our way. We let go of old angers and find the freedom as love flows. We let go of focusing on the ills of the world and discover the peace of the space around us. We let go of possessions and discover the lightness that brings. We let go of trying to control other people’s lives and discover that we have work to do in our own. We let go of seeking answers outside of ourselves and discover the wisdom within. Everything that we seek, can be found within our own being.

So as the anxiety rises up in your being, greet it with a smile. Thank it for alerting you that things are different. That much is falling away, that much is crumbling. Rejoice in this news and surrender to the dismantling of the old way of living. Allow the new to flow through you and see where it takes you. Stay in the moments, feeling each emotion fully and then releasing once again. The in breath and out breath. We are being newly born. Treat yourself with the upmost tenderness and care. We are birthing our divinity. What a sight we are!

Letting Go …….on a new level

Posted on August 24, 2011 by lovelylinda

Gotta love the turkeys! 7 little babies following mom. I haven’t seen babies like this before so it was a special treat. I wanted to be one of the chicks, following mama, trusting her to care for them. And dear mama turkey, trusting to her inner knowing of how to feed and shelter her brood. Makes me think of our mother earth and how she has feed and sheltered us. How I can trust her to move through these times as she follows her instincts. I am coming back to a state of appreciation and joy with this beautiful world of ours. Spending a few days in Sacramento, which is where I raised the kids. I have some dear friends here that I love to spend time with but the energy of this place has never felt supportive to me. I feel flat here. It has been interesting as I had a vision of a net pulling all remaining ties, sorrows, wounds from my time here with my wasband, up and away from me. Yes, finally all the ties letting go. So as I sort through the last of my belongings, obsessing over what to fill my trunk with once again, I see that I am being gifted with so much more than letting go of the material things remaining. I know that I am lighter in that department than most folks yet I feel the heaviness of things. It is as if I no longer understand the way we operate. I am being shown that it is much more than having less things that is taking place. We are being asked to let go of certainty of any kind. We have been getting those lessons for awhile now. Now we are being shown a new way to be in the world. There is no planning, no setting a goal and pushing towards it. No more push, no striving. We are being asked to show up with hearts full of joy and appreciation and watch as the universe lines up with that to gift us. The gifts can be so much more than we had imagined. I find it so interesting! And exciting, and a bit unnerving also! It takes some practice and it feels odd.

I had thought that I was moving to Orcas Island and saw 6 months in my mind. Now it feels that I am to go and meet someone, take part in an activation and then leave. I am feeling the cool mists and my body is already dreaming of being in that moist environment. So odd since I am a sunshine gal but the mists are definitely calling me. I know that I will feel more energized and awake there. Two people then called me to say that they got a message that I would not be staying there. Ok, a second and a third on that after me feeling that. I am hearing to release any attachment to “finding a home”. That seems to be the message. I am so wanting a home but am seeing that I cannot plan it. It is there for me but will happen in a new way, not by looking through Craig’s list or the newspaper. I have to show up and perhaps keep showing up in new places until I feel the resonance that sets my heart a fire. Have been doing just that for over two years but now it is new. Also, the energies are changing so quickly that what felt like a probability one day, can change the next. My true home is in my heart and in the times we are in, this will become more evident for all of us.

Earthquakes yesterday on the east coast, very mild ones here in California. I woke yesterday morning from a dream where I was in a disaster scenerio and I knew that I was to quell the fear and panic by teaching folks to go into their hearts. I was showing them that they could float on their backs in the cosmos. Arms outstretched, floating in space, stars lighting up the darkness but being held in the love of the Creator. Ummmmm, so peaceful and lovely. I knew that I could entrain their hearts to mine if I was centered in my own heart. I knew that I had prepared for this and this was my work. Afterwards, I felt nauseous, received a call to join a conference call as an earthquake had happened. A group of us came together to call forth galactic, angelic and inner earth forces to assist us to assist the earth. A great deal of energy was moving and then we felt it settle and quiet.

Today I awoke feeling light and joyful. Now as evening settles in, I am tingling all over my body and feeling the energies arise again. Feeling layers of fear move through me, not my own but planetary. Holding to my heart. Tom Kenyon sent out a new message today http://tomkenyon.com/the-emergence-of-multiple-chaotic-nodes dealing with the challenging times that we are in. I love that the advice is to go into our hearts and feel appreciation. It is so simple. This is what will move us all through these times that appear so challenging. So many hearts are opening every day, we could run news shows that only featured folks describing how their hearts are softening and opening wide. This is the news that we need to be paying attention to!

This was a view as I headed out of San Francisco a few days ago. There are the signs signaling different directions, which lane should I get into? Where am I headed? I believe that these questions will become more evident as we are being asked to line up with more of our true essence. To let go of jobs, relationships, places that do not feed our soul. To get in the lane that feels joyful even though you have never taken that route before. To trust that your heart can lead and to accept that all the logic in the world cannot make the decision any longer. Ok, I am changing lanes once again as I line up with who I am in this moment. I am looking for the road that leads to mists and mosses and moisture. I am appreciating everything that surrounds this thought and not looking for the next. Rather sinking in deep to the appreciation of all that surrounds me in this moment. Crickets chirping, ceiling fan whirling, breeze gently coming onto the back of my head through the window. Ahhh, deep sigh.

Liquid Love Light

heart whispering, sound healing, writings, art

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