Tag Archives: life review

Eclipse Approaches, Clearing Continues

Posted on by
3
This wolf was in a zoo for injured animals that could no longer survive in the wild. I loved his majesty.

This wolf was in a zoo for injured animals that could no longer survive in the wild. I loved her majestic acceptance of her changed life.

After an eight hour drive, the night offers me no sleep. The pattern is continuing, one night of sleep, followed by one of none. My body feels good, just an adjustment to being awake all night. I have to make sure to have things at hand to while away the hours. The computer is necessary as It seems my spirit wants me to write during these nights.

I was lying here watching scenes with one dear to me, yet most of this life, far from me, play before me. My understanding of who we are to one another expanded and I saw the moments when we could have made the choice to bring that knowing to full consciousness. I was left  with a bit of a heartache along with an acceptance that we are each free to unmask ourselves or not. My desire cannot make another make the choice I want. Honoring the holiness of each one’s path… a mantra that has helped me release control or attachment to a certain outcome. I am left with gratitude for all the moments our paths did cross in this life.

Awake and in dreams, scenes of our lives are being played out, emotions released, freeing memories  to depart. All to bring us fully into the now moment. To see ourselves and one another anew, meeting as if for the first time. Who are you now? Rather than filtering our interactions through the lens of what was. Imagine the freedom! We are meant to be fluid and free beyond what we can imagine. I can feel it and know it is getting closer to being possible, each day.

IMG_7683

The light breaks through just when we are at our breaking point, to uplift and support us.

On my drive today, I drove through sheets of rain, dense fog and brilliant sunshine. I felt such a love and reverence for our Mother Earth. She is so glorious! So multifaceted. I felt her exaltation as she breathes in the new light from our Creator. We are being so gifted with energy to uplift, shatter and reform us so that we can share in this exaltation of freedom. Imagine walking outside and sharing love with our Mother, with the trees, with the birds, the air, the grass. All singing a love song to you and to me and us finally knowing ourselves free to sing it back once again.

This eclipse portal has been intense and wild, pushing us to the brink. The pull to jump ship is strong. Yet, we stand. For we know, in the deepest recess of our hearts, that this is the lifetime that we have been waiting for since first agreeing to incarnate on this beautiful blue jewel. We said we would come and help her become the star that she is. We said we would do it together, as one people, united in love. We have tried so many times before to set this pattern of love and unity into the earth. We did not succeed and the memory of that  defeat echoes in our hearts. This time, we came in great numbers to anchor this lovelight and this time, we will be successful. My future self laughs in delight at the wonder of it all. I know that the story has a happy ever after ending. I have lived with that ending in my heart, despite the long treacherous path it has been. More difficult than predicted, we have had to guard that flame of faith with all of our might.

IMG_7675

The ocean’s gift of so many different colors and shapes. I love rocks!

I welcome the gift of the sun and its partial eclipse. My cells are dancing in anticipation, awake and alert to accept the glowing flames on offer. Unzip your beings, dump out all that no longer serves, so as to make room for what our sun is delivering. I sense that this gateway is one that will allow us to truly fly. Oh, to be free! Free to float in our Mother/Father’s love and share it with all beings. No words needed. Our hearts streaming liquidlovelight set to our own magical tone. The harmony! The peace! The joy! I AM ready. Are you?

Honoring My Tone

Posted on by
7
The beauty of the mountain, sunlight and water mesmerized me for days.

The beauty of the mountain, sunlight and water mesmerized me for days.

I came down from my mountain high with a crash and landed in a valley of emotions. I returned to the California coast for a family wedding. I feel as though I have had my emotional body roto-rooted……all kinds of sludge and muck has been brought to the surface. Years of old emotional pain has been pulled up to the surface, seeking the light of love. I have had a good look at my “tone” and all the ways that it has isolated me in my life. I wore a hat of shame for an evening as I absorbed judgments for the way I participated in a discussion. I saw that truth is more important to me than peace.  Indeed, for me, truth is love. I saw all the waves of people and situations that fell from me as I held my tone.

Can I cherish myself while viewing all of these moments of my life? I felt each moment of pain afresh, as it moved through me. It was a life review while in the body. I have experienced this a few times in the past as I have walked this path. This one felt different as all that was shown had a common theme. I was granted a view from the human and soul perspective. From the soul’s viewpoint, the emotional charge is not there. All is clear. I have understood that clarity and tried to live it in my humanness, causing emotional storms. We are moving into greater clarity as our souls live more fully on this earth plane.

The only shelter and security is to be found within our hearts.

The only shelter and security is to be found within our hearts.

I saw how the energies are shifting, how my tone will be able to be held with gentleness rather than as a flaming sword that cleaves.  This a result of people facing their shadows to stand in their truth. I saw how our tones evolve through thoroughly loving the tone that has been. I came to a place of  honoring my willingness to stand in the censure of others to let truth have its voice. Honoring the way I have walked my truth in all of its imperfection. As I lay here and allowed myself to feel all of it, I came to appreciate the consistency with which I have held my tone held throughout my life. That in itself, is a remarkable achievement. I am accepting all aspects of myself with a deep and abiding love.

We have been taught to listen and interpret words as our means of communication. We are moving into a time of transparency and truth. Words can be used to obfuscate, manipulate, hide behind. Now we are given the gift of greater communication as we begin to read the energy field of a person. We can sense the package of information our fields are putting out as well as hear the words. Where there is disparity, there is a discordant tone that is unpleasant to the ear. Where the words and the field are one, a tone of harmony is emitted. This is our work, to harmonize our fields and walk in that oneness.

I have allowed this dissolution of my being, witnessing all aspects of myself, laid bare. No desire to gather them, to reform them. Content to melt into the earth. My personality self felt the old desire to flee the pain presented. I watched the parade of voices, many from years past, come through touting their wares:

  • Start an exercise program, then you will feel better. You seem to quit after a few days, what is wrong with you?
  • It is all about diet, just eat right and your world will be right. You know you eat too much sugar.
  • Meditate 20 minutes a day and your life will be perfect. It has to be a scheduled routine to be effective.
  • Just follow the plan, do not make waves, accept the cultural paradigm and life will ease up. Here are ten easy steps to get there. 

I lay there and laughed. And laughed some more. Really? This is all you have for me? All of these are programs that assist us to judge ourselves. We are told how to feel rather than allowing ourselves to discover anything for ourselves. We are fed a daily dose of judgment that reinforces the notion that we are not good enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, not wealthy enough, not, not, not! We need a diet plan, a money making plan, a brain exercise plan…….left to our own devices we might just discover that we are powerful, perfect beings of lovelight, come to create heaven on earth.

This little guy was one of the gifts left outside my tent door by the elementals. One day it was a bark heart, one day a few berries, a heart rock. All signs of how all the kingdoms want to support and create with us.

This little guy was one of the gifts left outside my tent door by the elementals. One day it was a bark heart, one day a few berries, a heart rock. All signs of how all the kingdoms want to support and create with us.

For now, there is no impulse to move, to do or be anything. I am letting go of the new age, the new earth, the idea of ascension, the idea of myself as a spiritual being. My dear body is here, she breathes and continues to hold a form. I have no desire to preserve this form. I see myself lying on the desert sand, adding to its dust. This gives me a  feeling of peace. Dissolving into the void that I am. The Oneness that exists within each cell.  I watch the sheets drying on the line, and am mesmerized by the form that the wind provides; billowing fat and full by its gusts, hanging limp and flat, in its stillness, edges curling in a soft dance as the wind teases it to soft movement.

I offer myself to the elements, the elemental being of my body, in play with sun, wind, rain, people, faeries, electronics, ley lines, all of it. No will directing this course, trusting to the Creator as the birds and the flowers do. I will come to my flowering as it is part and parcel of my being. Unhinging the mind that believed it was essential to survival. Sitting in my heart, unattached to outer form, to any idea of good or bad, happy life or sad.

View from my tent, camping spot of my dream.

View from my tent, camping spot of my dream.

I am here. And everywhere. Beliefs dissolved. Cords of attachment cut. Will the rain melt me? Will the mountains meld with me? The sylphs of the air have given me direction these past years. Now the where, who, what, how……..are all blowing in the wind. I am the wind. All one. I rest.