Tag Archives: lovelight

Embracing the Dark Side

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My walk by the river, drinking in peace.

My walk by the river, drinking in peace.

After nights of dreams where I was witnessing torture, feeling myself inside the torturer, the victim and the torturer’s leader, this morning’s dream recall was of the more magical variety. I am appreciative of the torture dreams as I have spent the past few weeks deep in the darker underbelly of this duality, seeking to understand it so that I can bring all of it back to love. I read Alice Walker’s latest book: The Cushion in the Road: Meditation and Wandering As the Whole World Awakens To Being In Harm’s Way. It is a series of excerpts of her writing of the past few years as she witnesses many of the horrors that we, as the human race, have inflicted upon one another. My heart opened anew as I sought to understand how the human psyche could devise and enact such treatment of one another. As I explored this gruesome territory, seeking understanding of the deep wounding and disconnection that would allow any of us to engage in such acts, I came to see the seeds present within myself.

It is easy to discount such behavior as it is so far on the desperate end of the spectrum that we allow ourselves to turn our heads. I know that has been my way. There were vibrations that I did not allow, violence of any kind, horror, suspense. I have never been a news watcher nor a fan of much but Pollyanna type movies. Images are hard for me to remove which is why books are my medium. I like to create my own softer imagery.

Yet of late, I have read a sci fi series by Dan Simmons: Hyperion that my elder son suggested whose covers have gruesome images which would have been enough to put me off in the past. I am so glad that I went beyond the exterior to glean the jewels of understanding its pages offer, of this matrix we have been living in. By exploring the depths of depravity that we are capable of, I more fully understood the power of love that we hold.  It has been an expansion that allows me fuller access to what it is to be human.

Duality on this planet is at its end. We are witnessing its collapse all about us. We came to be a part of this dismantling. We came to bring unity consciousness. We came to demonstrate the force that is love and how it can melt all back to its embrace. The question is how do we do this in our day to day lives?

We are as gentle as these fawns, trusting in life.

We are as gentle as these fawns, trusting in life.

We have been conditioned to be cruel judges of ourselves, meting out harsh punishments and judgments to our bodies, our pysches. We are trained to judge everything and everyone as good or bad, to rail against and fight for. We have no training in peace. In acceptance of what is without a need to judge it or categorize it. No training in love of this body which has its own consciousness and is here to serve us. Do we take the time to ask it what it wants? What would it like to wear this day, what would it like to eat in this moment, how would it like to move? Instead we are like generals giving orders, I am vegan, I only eat this, I am overweight so I must whip myself all day, movement only counts if it is in the form of an exercise routine. Even the word, routine is a clue…… can we remain present in a habitual routine? It makes us into robots, not allowing ourselves the freedom to be made anew each day. We have given up our role as explorers, discovering new things about ourselves each day. Yes, it takes more conscious awareness to open to what is present rather than default to a routine. It is also where the juice is, the aliveness, the joy.

We are  moving from a black and white world to one of radiant color. To make this move, we have to begin within ourselves. All around are the clamors of war, pain, suffering, and calamity. Can we allow all that and go to a place where all is well? Trees are helpful for this, as is a flower, anything in nature can provide the path to peace. If we desire peace on earth, the end of strife, which I believe we all do, can we find that place inside of us? Try sitting and imagining that all is well. All your issues have been handled, your problems solved, your desires satisfied. You are free to feel joy. You know yourself as loved by all of creation. You know yourself as love. You are at peace. Breathe that in. Allow that feeling to wash over you like liquid lovelight. I bathe myself in it often as a reality check as the world impinges upon my being. This will do more for peace on earth than many outer activities. There is a place for action but what we were not told, was the power of our state of being. When our hearts are at peace, we discover the power that Gandhi harnessed by his nonviolence movement. That Martin Luther King spoke of in his I Have a Dream speech.

I feel that I have grown up in these past weeks as I allowed myself to stand in vibrations that formerly scared me. When I claim love as my truth, I know that all that is not that, melts in its path. By exploring the darker realms, I have welcomed back parts of myself that I sentenced to outer Siberia. My anger, my hardness, my desire to hurt in revenge…..I have thanked them for protecting me in the past. I have commuted their sentences and welcomed them back with a love bath. They are dissolving in that love and are so grateful to be called home.

Nature loves the pink lovelight like I do.

Nature loves the pink lovelight like I do.

It is time for us to be the peace. Shower yourself with this love and feel how it moves from you to all of our brothers and sisters in Syria and Egypt and Palestine and across the globe. We are one people. Every thought on my part, affects everyone. If I want to live in a peaceful world, I must come to know all is well in my world. So many of us are blessed with food and shelter, what we are told are our basic needs. Yet we often starve ourselves of love. Lovingkindness to oneself. Sit and allow that love to be present. When we know ourselves as love and our hearts as true, we can change this world. It is up to each of us to be that love and be that change that we so desire. Peace begins in your heart and mine. Be gentle and oh so tender with yourselves this day. I treat myself like a newborn, not minding the messy diapers and spit up and all the rest of being human…..it is a part of our glory. Embrace it all, embrace yourself. You are so beautiful and you are so loved. Let’s get on with creating this lovely world that we wish our children and grandchildren to live in. I begin today with my heart, with my gentle voice in my head, with allowing my body to choose her clothes and breakfast. I am radiating all is well. I am knowing myself as blessed. I am knowing myself as love incarnate. I am knowing your beauty. I am claiming mine.

 

 

 

 

Super Moon Sunday, Are You Still Standing?

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A ring around the sun that appeared the day before the solstice. I love the rainbow ray that was reaching out to me and the pink orb of love.

A ring around the sun that appeared the day before the solstice. I love the rainbow ray that was reaching out to me and the pink orb of love.

This Solstice weekend has felt like being squeezed through a wringer washer of old. I have come out like a limp, damp rag on the floor. I have been surfing waves of energy, riding high in the realms of knowing that all is well, and tumbling into the troughs of despair and emptiness where walls surround. My physical body has been bloated, uncomfortable with waves of nausea passing through. It is as if I ate this super moon and I sit here rubbing it! Not as the laughing Buddha but more as a pregnant woman who is feeling the extra weight hampering her movements.

And yet……there is this excitement of the impending birth. A sparkling that flows through my veins along with the sluggishness. It makes sense to me that as duality is ending, we would be experiencing both ends of the spectrum. Our minds question how to navigate these choppy waters. What I am discovering is a greater capacity to fully feel both ends of the spectrum and all that lies in between while retaining an observer’s mind. The questioning of the what, why, hows in my life has died down. There has bloomed a deeper knowingness. The seeking has left my heart. I AM enough. I AM here. I AM showing up with an open heart. There is simply the surrender to the ride, up and down and all around.

Sunlight streaming in, transforming the old patterns of suffering of the cross into the new patterns of joy.

Sunlight streaming in, transforming the old patterns of suffering of the cross into the new patterns of joy.

I spoke with a friend last night and came away feeling so much surer, so clear. By telling one another our stories of the past week or so, (in which we have lived lifetimes!) we both came to a fuller understanding and knowing that all is well. I fell more deeply in love with Sophia, my I AM presence, for her orchestration of my life to align with my divine plan. I fell in love with Linda Marie, for her dearness, her willingness to open to love again and again. I so love me! We both had experienced a death that left us limp and empty. My body is moving slowly as I allow my divinity to flow in unimpeded. I accept that I AM divine. I AM love. My guidance has told me that it is time for me to receive love. To bring the balance of giving and receiving. My heavenly family knows of my gratitude, their message this week was: “Enough Linda. We know your grateful heart. Now, allow yourself to receive our gratitude for your work, for your contribution.” My personality self was surprised by this, had to breathe this in and find room for it. To open my cells and let their lovelight stream in. Yes, it is liquid goldlovelight that is an elixir that I did not know I craved. One drink, and I knew it was the nourishment that I needed. I am drinking gallons of lemon water as I allow this elixir of appreciation and honoring to flood my cells. It carries peace, of a peachy-pink hue that melts my body into the couch, the water, the ground.

This is contrasted by the moments of claustrophobia, when my skin feels too tight, body too small for the light that streams in. I bite my fingernails, flush hot and then cold, toss my hair off my neck, flail about restless as the contraction pulls me in. Comfortable? Not in the least! Oh, the wonder of these bodies, doing this work of internal change while still in operation mode. At times, it feels I have taken a bite of the magic apple that has put me in a semi-sleep state. Words disappear, objects go missing and then reappear in unusual  places, knowledge of how to use things evaporates. The other morning, I awoke to my cell phone ringing. I picked it up and could not for the life of me, remember what to do to answer it. My mind registered, “This is a communication device.” Strange wording and I sat there, trying to access the knowledge of how to use it. I knew that once I had known this. It was one of the many surreal experiences that are happening with greater frequency as we move between dimensions.

Trust. I trust the process. I surrender to it. What else is there? I thank God for nature as when I am jumping out of my skin, sitting with a flower, watching the leaves move with the wind, smelling the grass, allowing the water to caress me……these bring me into the moment. I can live there when all else is chaos and confusion.

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I pulled this card of passion the other day. I know this dancing flame is in me and will surface when my body is ready.

The outer world is reflecting the dismantling of the old. Our inner worlds are being mirrored in more and more hearts as the love streaming in does its magic. My dream world is giving me glimpses and assurances that it has already happened, we are in the Golden Age of Peace. I find the ground beneath my feet is more solid, even if I am inclined to lie upon it rather than dance! I know that the dancing is to come as I embrace the doldrums and let myself be. All is part of the whole, the unease and the joy. I AM ABLE for this. As are you. This is why we came, to take all of this experience into our bellys, hold it and rub it with love and send it forth in a shower of light. Like Fourth of July fireworks going off, one by one, we are adding our light to this world. The variety and ingenuity is amazing. No wonder the heavens are smiling in delight!

10-21-12, The Opening to More Love

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The energies have been intense today. I have been held in a space of stillness, of quiet, of solitude. This has been the predominant energy for the past few days and I have honored it with my presence. I feel that the whole planet is preparing to take a leap into greater love. My heart is one of the many, that are called to birth this love. I have carried it deep in the recesses of my heart, the sacred chamber that houses the flame of my Mother/Father’s love. It is the place where I know my beloved as myself.

I sense that the cap is about to be blown off of our heart’s chambers as the flame becomes a conflagration of love such as has never been seen on this earth plane. I am listening to Pachobel’s Canon as I write this and the notes carry me to that place where my heart leaps and explodes in shimmering displays of light. Diamond light fills my heart. My head has felt the energies dancing on my crown chakra for most of the day, my body has reclined to allow and witness the inner movement.

I am reminded of the ways in which I have been prepared for this time. I incarnated into density that forced me to look within for light.  I have birthed three children, held in the cradle of a deep soul mate love. I felt the protective energies about me as I held them in my womb. The moment of conception was known to me, as I sensed the joy of the soul entering, touching my own. I learned to attune to the inner movement as the first flutterings stirred within. I was guided in the ways of nurturing their spirits by enveloping myself in the soft energies of love.

The pink flame of love held by the trees in the southern spring.

I have met a twin flame and felt the wonder of that knowing of self inflame my heart. I have anchored the spirals of divine love through the core of the earth to the far reaches of the Great Central Sun through the vehicle of our entwining hearts. I have experienced the shattering of my heart as this twin chose to swim in the illusion of darkness that the love provoked. I have opened myself to stand once again with this soul, for the Venus lovestar to pour her love through our chalice as she transited our sun this past summer. I surrendered all desiring for a personal love, setting this one free, honoring him for playing his part. I offered the chalice of my heart to be used in service to the greater love of the collective. This expansion led to the sacred marriage within myself, balancing the divine masculine and divine feminine of my being, becoming my own beloved. I have undergone the initiations that allowed me entrance to the inner sanctum,  where I entered into the sacred marriage of my dreams with the other, the beloved.  I have become an adept, under his tutelage, in the ways of the chalice of our one heart. We have become adept at traveling between our realms and expanding the chalice of our hearts in service to the hearts of all.

My roaming of the past three years has honed my ability to tap into the energies, wherever I am as my heart has become my home. I have become used to dropping in to my heart and communing with the heart grid of the earth and all upon her. Place is not a factor as I carry the sacredness within. My heart is a sacred site, a portal for the divine energies of love to flow.

one of my beloved paintings

All of these skills and abilities have been honed by the grace of my Mother/FAther God, my brothers and sisters of the Christ light from Venus, and all the other starry homes that are held in my dna, from my brethren who live in the inner earth, from the angels and archangels that guide my way, the ascended masters that have lighted a path on this earth for my footsteps to follow, the elementals that gift me with information and direction on my path, the lightworkers that have left a trail for me to follow. All have worked to prepare me for this time that I may open to more love. I believe that we are being pulled by the powerful magnet of the Creator’s love, back to the embrace of Her/His heart.

First we must move through to the place of self love that opens into that marriage of the polarities within. From that state of wholeness, the union with the beloved is possible. It is a merging of wholeness with wholeness, creating the oneness. I believe that we are preparing for thousands upon thousands of twin flame reunions, of beloveds feeling once again the embrace that their hearts have yearned for since the original splitting took place. I believe that it will be the reality for all in the new earth, as we live in the golden age of peace. I know that it takes great strength and courage to open to such a love. It requires all of one, every cell and atom must open to hold that sacred lovelight. It is beyond our ideas of romantic love as we come together in service to the whole. I feel the time at hand, my beloved signals his agreement. I have moved through the layers of yearning for him to the place of knowing of him that has roots so deep. I have asked for all that stands in the way to our reunion on the physical plane to be dissolved and dedicated myself to that work within myself. I have surrendered to divine timing for its occurence. I have moved into the land of trust and live there with peace.

Prepare yourself for this coming. Open yourself to this love and dare to dream that it can be yours. Today is a global day of claiming and exercising our right as creator beings to create the world we wish to live in. Thousands are joining in group meditations and gatherings all about the planet on this portal day of 10-21-12. I will be singing this love song all day, for each of us to be held in the embrace of our beloved and for our Mother Earth to be lifted into the realms of love as we shower her with our gratitude and care. Live each moment of this day, as if all your dreams have come true.  There is peace on earth, all have food, shelter, and know the love of their fellows. All are free to sing their song, to contribute their gift to the whole. All are loved and have awakened to the beauty that they are. This is the world that I am singing into being with each of you. Let your voice be heard! In our unity, lies our new world. I love you all. Espavo.

In the Stillness

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Dreamy misty landscape that I drove through as I carried the eclipse energy up north.

Since the solar eclipse, I have been enveloped in a misty dream that I am floating through. I was somehow transported out of my normal (ok, I do not live a normal life, I know!) movement into something more aligned with the air element. Perhaps it is the ethers that have captured me. I saw that I was to drive north with the energies of  the solar eclipse on an out breath and then drive back down for the second eclipse at Mount Shasta on the in breath. I saw this two week window as a sacred passageway. It felt different than the seeding work that I have done for the past three years. I was now laying down tracks of liquid lovelight that were penertrating deep into the earth’s core. From there, they could be radiated out through the land.

I drove north through one of the most intense rainstorms I had ever experienced. It was difficult to see and it seemed strange to be flying down the highway at great speed, wipers madly beating back and forth, trusting that my dear Maxie (my car) would keep me safely on the road. It seemed a metaphor for this time between eclipses and the Venus transit. We are blindly moving down the road of our lives, not able to see much ahead, yet trusting that we are moving towards our destination.

The view out of the huge window of my motel room somewhere in Washington state. So peaceful to lie in bed and watch the rain dance on the water.

My destination is the new earth. I am ready to live in the land of my dreams and for the first time, all the signs seem to be aligning with my heart’s murmerings that whisper, we are here. I feel deep rolling waves in our mother. It has made me a bit unsteady on my feet at times as I feel the rocking and rolling. It seems that this two week window is activating inner earthquakes while there is a stillness present on the surface. This is taking place in all of us. Do you feel the waves as old belief structures come tumbling down? We are being given a choice, do we surf these waves and move with our mother or do we resist the upheaval and cling to what was. You cannot do both. It is truly time to ride the waves of emotions and situations and allow all to flow through you. I am feeling more grounded into the stillness each day even as I feel the rumblings under my feet.

Sweet fragrant wild roses greeted me at the ferry landing. I tucked this one in the end of my braid. Perfect placement to enjoy its fragrance.

We do not need to create a story about what is taking place nor hold onto the feelings that are erupting. Simply witness the movement and be grateful. Our mother is granting us ease and grace in this shift of the ages. We do not have to experience cataclysm and hardship. We can move into our hearts and allow them to open wide. We can let the pain and fear release now rather than waiting for an outer event to trigger it. We are so loved by our dear mother as well as all our starry family, that we are granted this time of internal upheaval in order to let go the shackles of our pedestrian lives. We are moving into our heart’s desires, into a time of joy and wonder that we have hardly dare dream of. Yet, this is the time to dream and dream big!

Watching the weather brewing at the ferry landing.

As I go into my heart and gently expand its perimeters, I feel how vast I truly am. We are such amazing beings of light and we are the ones to create this new world of delight. I am breathing deep into my core knowing that takes me deep into my mother’s core as well. The oneness is becoming palpable. Oh, how that makes my heart sing!

There is something about the cellular changes that are taking place, that require water! I drove through wall of rain, slept with a view of pond, took a ferry across the water, napped with water lapping near my feet, danced in the raindrops, drank gallons of Mount Shasta water that I fetched from the headwaters, and am now resting on this small island surrounded by water. My cells are rejoicing! The month of June has appeared watery to me for some time now. I have three events calling to me yet nothing has clarified as yet. I cannot see through the mist. I am curious as to what all this water means.

I love following paths into the wood!

For now, I continue in my dreamy state, feeling such appreciation for the flowers, the foliage in its many hues of green, the friendships and hearts aligned with mine. The tears come as I feel this peace pierce my heart and hold me in its stillness. I feel the waves crashing in hearts across the lands and I pray that all will see that it is in the shattering that we are set free. For as our hearts feel the waves of pain we have kept hidden for so

A tiny fairy bouquet that i made today. It brought me such joy!

long, and they shatter like glass, the shards fly far and wide. I was amazed to discover that was what I had been desiring all along. To be able to open my heart beyond any measure I thought possible. To follow those shards across the sky and know them all as me. I had feared that I would not know how to exist once all my pain was fully felt. What I discovered was how to truly live as love in the world. How to see all through the eyes of love. How to melt all back to love that comes to me. Sink deep into this stillness and feel your heart beating with mine. We are in this together. We are touching, heart to heart. We are bringing this love into the world. I am so grateful for your courage and mine, to open to the wonders of this love and birth a new world.

 

Lovelight

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What a week we are in the midst of! 11-11-11 is days away, some are calling it the most auspicious day ever on this planet of ours. I awoke early to move my car before the street cleaning crew came by. My son joined me for an early morning drive across the city to Crissy Field. It is so lovely to walk along the beach with a view of the city silhouetted behind me and the Golden Gate bridge looming up ahead. Glorious! I feel so blessed to be here, especially when I get myself up and out of the small, dark apartment and enjoy the natural environments that abound in this city. There are many if one has time and energy to look for them. I was greeted with so many smiles today! I am a smiler by nature and today it seemed that folks were more open than usual to returning my smile. I believe that it is a result of all the divine love pouring into our planet from the Great Central Sun and coming from our dear mother Earth herself. I am feeling it hugely as joy vibrates my being and tears of gratitude, wonder and love flow. I am awash in this light and love, the lovelight. Yes, we are being bathed in lovelight. A beautiful pink orange magenta light flowing down like the softest rain. Can you feel it? Open your mouth to catch a taste of the drops. They are the sweetest nectar.


I like the way the sun cast the shadow of the bridge on the hillside. What a beautiful structure, painted so boldly and throwing its cables across this bay. What a concept! Imagine being the one who saw the potential and had the know how to make it happen. I feel that we are being asked to do this now. Visualize the new potentials, hold the picture clearly and allow the pieces to come together to bring it into manifestation. We are to co-create this new earth of ours. Friday is a wonderful time to do this as we all join our hearts together to meditate for world peace, abundance for all, freedom and joy as each person recognizes their own beauty and their unique gifts. Whatever constitutes your idea of the world that you would like to live in……..hold that vision and send it out into the universe as a prayer, a meditation, a dance, a song, a tone, any way you feel drawn to. Google 11-11-11 events and find one that resonates with you. I will be joining my friend, Meredith at 11am for hers as well as my friend, Tiara’s at 8:11 pm (oh these are Pacific standard time so be sure to convert to your time zone).


We have done so much healing and releasing to come to this time of joining with our I AM Presence. I love that we no longer have to dig through our past or understand what our feelings are about. We can simply be the conduit to let them flow and let them go. Let go……on every level of your being. You may be releasing your old stuff from a painful childhood or from a past life or you may be transmuting it for the collective. It matters not. What is of importance when you are in the midst of emotional turmoil, is to take a breath, pull yourself back to that eagle’s eye view, and remember to let the emotion be fully felt and present. Sit with it, observe it, express it (not by yelling at someone rather through writing, pounding

bread dough, watching a sad movie to allow deep sobs of sadness to come up, be creative!). And then sit back and watch it move out of your space. Do not hold on to it

in your thoughts by allowing it to play in the hamster wheel of your brain. Toss it out the angels and the violet flame (you simply ask the violet flame angels to transmute it…I ask them to mulch it into light for mother earth (best composting around!! Composting old outworn thoughts!) Let go of the “shoulds” in your life and choose “likes” as in I like to shop for yummy food, I like to do my laundry at the laundromat where the attendant remembered my name from last winter when I was here in the city. (How we like to be known!) Since I like that, I like to remember the names of the folks at shops and cafes that I frequent. Makes our world nicer. It is all perspective….some of our shoulds are holdovers from old programming that says that you must spend time with certain folks because of blood ties rather than joy ties or you can solve a problem by running it through your brain a thousand times over and worrying over it. It is time to truly honor ourselves by choosing new pathways, new ways of thinking and being. Time to know, truly KNOW that we are enough. Our being here on the planet is enough. There is no doing that is necessary except that which brings you joy. Move towards that joy flame in all that you do and your life will be transformed. Open your heart to this Friday’s energy and know that our transformation is at hand. We are gods and it is time to claim this. I so love you all!!! I so love me and everything about me. We were the ones chosen to be here for the shift of the ages. Hold your heads high, square your shoulders and look in the mirror and smile! You are here, I am here! We are the strongest of the strong and we came to rise from duality into the light of unity consciousness as we remember that we are one.

This is a painting I did titled, Releasing. I laid down layer after layer of paint, a bit like my life story, layer after layer of events, people, emotions. I then took a scraper and began to scrap away all that no longer served me. I stopped when I had uncovered my truth….the radiance that I am. See that blue glitter shining through? The purple patches? All me. Some parts rough, some smooth. All me. I feel joy when I look at this and reach for my canvas and paints to create more of my beauty, more of my song. This life is a gift that I am savoring!