We were upon this old buck before we knew it on a walk. He was so still and his gaze was steady. He had seen many seasons and knew it all.

Graying muzzle, head held high despite the weight of his rack of antlers…..I felt that he knew the mystery and was content to be a part of it all. The oneness, it is my theme song these past few days. Feeling a part of everything. I could feel his years, feel his wisdom, feel the heaviness of the body that was once limber and agile. He knew that moving slowly was his domain for now, He did not rail against it but rather, accepted it with grace. I read something that said that all that is required for our ascension is surrender and flow.

I can feel the truth of that. Moment by moment there are things to surrender, to let go as we trust in the stream of life to carry us forward. We are wired for evolution, we cannot get it wrong. Our DNA takes us there whether we are conscious of it or not. Trusting myself is the biggest thing for me of late. There is no rule book though you can find many on store shelves or online. Many folks will offer guidance as to the way yet I have to wade through and find my own path, the way that brings me joy.

I have created opportunities lately for me to state my truth clearly. I love how creative my higher self is in bringing to me exactly what I need! A friend is making plans for a future date and wanted me to join her for part of them. I could see that it would be fun to be together again, that I could make things easier for her to get about. I had spent time with her and she had driven me about. There is a desire to reciprocate. You know the old adding sheet, she did that for me, I need to do this for her. Old energy for me. Life is not a score card, I want to be more authentic in my interactions.  I want to trust that the universe

I am the clouds, the sky, the water and the rocks. What beauty surrounds me!

brings situations to experience with one another and that I may receive here and give over there. It is much less of a linear movement than we have been taught. Trust that the balance is there that allows us all to be the givers and the receivers. I could also feel a constraint in my belly from locking into someone else’s agenda when I do not know what will be my highest truth or path at that time. I have broken commitments and disappointed friends when I found that I was guided in a different direction. All part of the learning for this duty woman in unwinding that coil of super responsibility as well as being seen in a certain way. The wisest thing to do, is to say, “I do not know at this time.” That said, she pressed me for a commitment. I love how we agree to help one another by being the vehicle for our lessons. Ah…..yes, how we want to please others! Yet this is where pleasing ourselves first and foremost comes in. I know that to be true to my path, I have to be open to where my spirit leads me. If I had received a strong Yes about April planning, I would have committed but there was no clarity. I try to remember that if it is not an resounding yes, then it is a no. Even though my mind wants to play in the field of maybe, or possibly when living by the above frees up a lot of energy! (Note to self: remember this dear one!) The more I honor my own path, the more clear guidance I receive.

At this moment, I have committed to be in this place until the end of March. It surprised me when I wrote  the check that I wrote it for two months. (I am committing for two months??) Yet I got a clear signal to do so. I now know why as it feels freeing to me to have that expanse of time stretching ahead without wondering where I will be and figuring out all the details of living. It has freed up energy that I can use in new ways. Instead of traveling in the outer, I am free to take more inner journeys. I am also in a place where I lived a large chunk of my past and it is uncoiling much of that for me. I am learning that I can be joyful anywhere, the location is not the determiner, rather it is the inner landscape that holds the decision as to how I view my life. And at present, I am being guided to stay in the present and allow it to unfold with no boundaries on the end of it.

Red tulips for my valentine, my love.....that would be me!

I am surprised and delighted to feel energy coming back that I have not felt in ages. I have exercised for the past four days! My body is soft as other than occasional walking, I have felt no desire to move in any specific way, though for most of my adult life, I had been a regular exerciser.  My body seemed to need to be flabby  for the changes that it has undergone as well as needing lots of rest. Yet, now it is thriving on movement. I am having fun trying out different exercise videos and using some old ones. I went to the farmer’s market today with a friend and delighted in all the bright vegies for my body and all the flowers for my soul. I had not taken my camera so you are missing the picture of these bright red tulips in a metal pail. So much more appealing than the ubiquitous white  plastic buckets. They also look lovely in this glass vase I found in the cupboard when I got home.

Here it is in progress

Energy and materials at hand for art to emerge also! Here is my work of the past couple of days. It is a small (4×7 inch) canvas which I bought for making art while traveling. I love working with the beads even though threading the needles and adding each tiny bead takes time, I find it very meditative. I love making big art, using big brushes and my whole arm sweeping in the motion yet I also love the tiny, delicate art making. I know that one day I will have a large studio with huge canvases that I can use housepainting size brushes on. Till then, I have my small canvases and beads.  I love adding words and gold leaf to my images. And yes, the beloveds are still in my heart and continue to be a compelling motif. This one called for a Rumi quote, how can you not love Rumi? Here is what it says:

All done and it fills me with joy! The Chinese character at the bottom stands for passion. Making this allowed passion to flow.

“Your love lifts my soul from the body to the sky.

And you lift me up out of the two worlds.

I want your sun to reach my raindrops,

So your heat can raise my soul upward like a cloud.”

Time for bed and I go to sleep with another Rumi quote:

“Close the language door and open the love window.”