Tag Archives: wonder

Be Still and Know

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IMG_5342In my recent clean out of bookshelves, I stumbled upon a slim volume of writing published in 1940. The redwood tree on the cover pulled me in. As I flipped through the pages, I felt the gentle wisdom within that I could now hear at a deeper level. On page 33 (3’s are my numbers and 33 is Christ mastery in my book) I read the following that is still echoing in my heart:

“Seek not of your own personal self to do deeds, to work, to plan, yea seek not even to be of high service to Me. I, the great Source of the Universe, do plan that it shall be a Universe of peace and harmony, and what I desire—shall it not come to pass? Therefore you need make no plans for the fufillment of that which I have ordained. There is but one service required of you, namely—-to reflect Me. Make the personal self to be so nothing, that it shall be I, speaking through your lips, smiling through your eyes. When man does thus live, my perfect plan shall be fufilled……..How free are you then, as you go singing through your day, always knowing that the One you reflect is guiding every step of the way.”                         from The Voice of the Master by Eva Bell Werber.

I was struck by the phrase I placed in bold type. To let go of any idea of service, of duty…..that has been a walk of surrender and trust for me. I was deeply imprinted from many lifetimes in the cloister, with following a path of duty. Taking off the hairshirt, unwinding the rosary beads….a process. I still pray to Mother Mary at times, I recite decrees when I feel called, I still live a devotional path in many ways but without the fear and supplication that was previously present within the acts. I allow the guidance to move me. There is freedom in the complete surrender of my mental process and the allowance of my own divinity to move me as She will. I look around at my rosary, my prayer beads, prayer books, my first holy communion statue of Mother Mary,  as artifacts that have been a part of my journey. I honor their role and know that I am no longer defined by them.

violet light that I saw out of the corner of my eye as I was hanging the plants' frost nighttime coverings.

Violet light that I saw out of the corner of my eye as I was hanging the plants’ nighttime coverings.

I,  and many at this time, are feeling this guidance in our moments. We are recognizing the inner voice of our own mastery as we tune into the knowing and allow it free rein. Following where we are led, sitting in the stillness when there is no prompting to move or act. The phrase: Be still and Know that I AM God, has been showing up in my world the past couple of days. I am gifted with a couple of days of solitude, knowing it was orchestrated for my benefit. I cleaned house yesterday and am feeling that expansive peace this morning, knowing chores are done and the day is waiting to unfurl. My mind jumps in with ideas: from finishing my prayer flag project, starting on the making of a gift, going to the farmer’s market, taking a walk in the park……..my body, wisdom keeper that she is…..is sitting. Breathing in the sunlight that is melting last night’s frost. She allows the various aspects of myself to  have their say, to feel the energy of each idea. She then gives me her feel for this moment. Ah, I feel how a nap is in store and a dreamy day of inner listening as some part is awaiting birth. The activities will wait, all coming to completion in their perfect time.

Loved the way the sticks came together in the pool, a creation that fed me with its random artistry,

Loved the way the sticks came together in the pool, a creation that fed me with its random artistry,

Today I sit with my hand on my belly, as I did before the birth of my first child, and follow the inward spiral to catch a glimpse of the wonder that is soon to be. I hear, holy days and I feel that this week, moving towards the solstice, to be just that. The seeds within our beings are asking for us to shine our light upon them as they awaken from a long slumber. It is time. We are about to blossom into our true beings. I came into this life to be here right now. Gratitude flows that I made it,  along with all of you. We are here and it is time. I sit with this knowing and allow myself to drink it in. The wonder of it all.

 

Deepening of December: Wondering Giving Way to Wonder

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IMG_5222Lately it has just quieted down and I feel peace and joy in every simple thing. My world is very small and yet expansive right here on this little suburban lot. Grateful for the times like my recent trip to Shasta with friends, some play in the magic that I love but no more so than the quiet day I have just had at home with my son. We planted bulbs, feeling the spring beauty as we did so. Neither of us knows if we will be here to see the blooms, feels like a no, but in this now moment, it was time to plant bulbs. I am so grateful for where I am. LIving each day as if I live here because I do live here now!!

Sounds so simple but for the past few years of wandering, I have had the sense of impermanence. Wondering where my place was on the earth, searching for community, wondering what my purpose was. Now all of that has fallen away. I am here now. The past and the future do not grip or push or pull me. There is no more seeking. The noise of all that wondering has receded. Ha, wondering……my word of late is wonder. The old way of wondering where my mind went in circles has left and my new sense of wondering is about awe, a deep reverence that wells up for the beauty that is ever present. It happened as I moved from my head to my heart. Wondering transformed into wonder.

It is so freeing as I am left fully present for the bird song, for the fire dancing in the hearth, for a shared moment of laughter and the cold of the frosty lawn that I just walked barefoot on to say good morning to Mother Earth. Everything becomes a blessing, every place, holy. I had read and heard of that but never fully experienced it until now. I know its truth.

One of my little figures, communing with our mother.

One of my little figures, communing with our mother.

I am so comfortable in my body. There is rest and ease with her as I tend to her every desire. I read a quote from Osho, an Indian master and the part that struck me was about letting your lion roar. What I took from that was when we allow ourselves to fully express and feel all of our feelings, joy, sorrow, anger, irritation……we keep the stream clear and flowing in our bodies. As he says, “then the lion can come in and go out” freely. There is then rest to be found in the body. But when we bottle things up, allow stagnation, there is no clear space to rest inside. I no longer seek to avoid anything, rather embrace it all as the love it is. I also no longer try to hold on to what I deem good as I fully trust that I am ever evolving into more love, more joy, more beauty. I know that I live in abundance in every area of my life and live that knowing.

A dragonfly on a hummingbird's nest that a friend found in her yard. Wonder

A dragonfly on a hummingbird’s nest that a friend found in her yard. Wonder

The sense of wonder and curiosity are present as I play witness to the outer world. Hearts are opening like flowers, folks so desirous to be the truth of love that they are. My interactions are few, I so appreciate my friends who go out and spread their light in the working world each day. My calling is to hold a specific tone, deeply. It is my work and I am well suited for it. My personality self has had its times of resistance, wanting it to be different, but all that has shifted. The years of driving around the country seeding lovelight were hard but fortunately, I did not realize how hard at the time. I love how my I AM presence coaxes me along each step of the path, telling me whatever story I need to hear to take the quickest path home. Now I feel such a sense of privilege for the part I have been assigned. I am grateful for the soul family that flow into and out of my world as we encourage and acknowledge one another. I am grateful for space in this house and the tender community we have created here. I am grateful for the flow of my days, a gentle wave that offers deep peace.

I am grateful to each one of you for sounding your note, finding your truth, walking your path with such courageous hearts. Know that you are cared for and loved in ways we can hardly comprehend. That knowing has been imparted to me, bit by bit, and it sets my heart afire. They call us “the legends” for what we are doing. Stand in that knowing and give your lion free rein. These are the times of wonder.

The Age of Aquarius Dawns, Time to Open Your Treasure Chest

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My morning table welcoming in the new age.

Being an Aquarian, it is doubly exciting to me, to welcome in this age. My age!! The time when I fully blossom into my truth, my mastery.  We begin a new cycle of time on the earth and in our universe. All takes a leap upward and forward. We are given the opportunity to leap into a version of ourselves that we have held deep in the recesses of our heart. It is our treasure, buried long ago. This Christmas season, it is the one gift we want to be sure to open!

As with all things magical, there is a magic key to unlock this treasure as well as magic words to recite. When you speak the words, you must believe them with all of your heart. You recall this from your childhood, knowing the power of belief to the outcome at hand. The key is your desire. Yes, so simple, isn’t it? You must desire this treasure with all of your heart. As you feel this flame arise in you, the key appears in your hand. You grasp it and hold it to your heart. You say the magic words with full feeling:

I AM a force of love in this world. I AM beauty unfolding. I AM goodness. I AM the sound of joy. I AM the heart of the child. I AM the dancing flame of love. I AM divine. I AM a beloved child of God’s heart.

One of the angels my kids and I made so many Christmases ago.

The words will come of their own accord. Tune in and allow them to be spoken by your voice. Use the magic formula of, I AM, to state each truth. It is encoded with power. As your words of power resonate in your chest, the door to your sacred heart swings open. Step over the threshold, and enter within. Now this is the time for silence, tuning your inner ear to the sounds of your own beating heart. Breathe deep and feel your heart flame come alight. Keep breathing, your breath a bellows, fanning the flame to greater heights. This lights the passageway to the treasure chest you buried so long ago. Follow the light.  If it dims, stop and breath deeply once again to brighten the light. As you move down the passageway, you will note, aspects of the old you, dropping by the wayside. Let them fall. You may even feel some being stripped from you by your angelic guides. Allow all to loosen as you make your way to the treasure. Trust! If you arrive naked, so much the better, stripped of all that you have known of who you are. They were ideas of the old age and have no place in the new.

You will come to  a large chamber filled with radiant light. You look for the source of that light and see the chest, glowing. Do not falter here, banish all doubts that arise. Remember, this is your heart space, your treasure chest placed here by you, for you, on this day of days. Go to it. Take the key placed over your heart, and use it to open the lock sealing your chest. At this point, I needed to take a few more deep breaths and swallow hard to fill myself with courage. Not to face darkness, that has been the old path that we have come from. No, to face the light. Yes, it takes immense courage to see our own beauty, to embrace our divinity. Here I stand, naked, shoulders back, head tall, feet firmly rooted in this earth……..

a golden box I treasure

Open the chest. Allow your eyes to adjust to the brilliance that streams forth. Open your cells to allow this brilliant light to enter in. Allow, simply allow the light to wash over you. I found myself awash in tears, streaming down with the light, washing me clean of the old ways, the old thoughts, the old burdens. Washed in the light of the new day. I am left knowing nothing, empty of self.

The chest is so full, gleaming with jewels of every color and hue. Now you see why you were stripped naked, for within lies garments of such rich textures and embellishments, waiting to be worn. Angel guides appear to dress you in your new clothing. Allow yourself this pleasure as you feel the silks and brocades slide over your shoulders. The fairies come in to make adjustments with the ribbons and gossamer threads. As you adjust to the feeling of your new clothing, you notice that it makes you feel divine! You feel like a princess or a prince……glass slippers and all. You take a few steps, twirl about to see the swirl of your skirt, the way the fabrics reflect the light and set it spinning. Gleaming gold catches your eye. You see a crown resting in the chest. Your angels take it out for you and place it upon your head. It is encrusted with jewels and you hear the story of how you earned each one. Your heart expands a hundredfold to hold all of this wonder.

Another of our angels

The slate has been wiped clean, you are reborn in the image that you choose. Today is the reset button for humanity. We are entering the Golden Age of Peace, long prophesied. We are given the privilege of co-creating it with our Mother/Father God. It begins in your heart and mine. In each moment, do we chose love or fear? It is that simple. Does this choice, this thought, this action,  uplift me and work for the good of all or does it diminish me or others? If we take the time to breathe in the now moment, we afford ourselves the pause to come from our newness, our Christed selves. Let us open to this profound gift of living our truth so that all may live theirs. We are the ones we have been waiting for. Our ancestors come again, through us, to right the wrongs and bring all back to the truth of love. May you allow this love to carry you into this Golden Age of Peace.