Claiming Our True Selves

Feathers on a walk, beauty.

Feathers on a walk, beauty.

I am witnessing the love of ourselves for ourselves. Our higher aspects or broader aspects, are flowing so much love to us. We are being prepared to step into our divinity. Much like stepping into the limelight on stage, we are being bathed in liquidlovelight. All that is not love, is being energized within us. Just as being in the limelight can cause physical distress as the heat of the light brings sweat to the brow, this love light is bringing to the surface all kinds of pains and discomforts. It is exacting in its ability to find any point within that still has any energy but love attached to it. This is a blessing from us to us.

I am witnessing it in myself and those about me. Folks from the past can suddenly appear through an email, a dream can bring an old sorrow rushing to the surface causing one to awake with the pain pulsing as if it just happened, a conversation can spark a memory that unleashes disquiet. All of this is purposeful. All of this is love in action. We are entering realms of higher consciousness where we know that all is love. We cannot access this portal weighed down with baggage of shame, guilt, regret, sorrow, anger or anything but love. We must drop these bags. The only way we can be free of them is to allow them to move through us with love. To fully feel what we once stuffed away into some part of our body, and allow it to return to the love that it truly is. We are able for this now. It is time.

Washing away the heat of the day on a camping trip this summer. Water is such a cleanser.

Washing away the heat of the day on a camping trip this summer. Let the love light bathe us like the water, offering its sweet relief. 

We are checking and double checking with ourselves. Does this still hold some emotion? Have you truly felt this within your being and allowed it to move? Every cell is offering its contents for examination under the microscope of love. Our light bodies are destined to merge with these physical vessels. We are becoming gods incarnate. We are preparing room for this love light. Empty the dross, open to the love. As uncomfortable as it may feel at times, I am so aware of the blessing. I am aware of how I am cherished and loved. We are love! It is our nature and we are returning to our truth.

I am witnessing the movement from caretaker to sovereignty. We are being asked to set our boundaries as we learn to honor ourselves first and foremost. We are being asked to define our joy and move towards that. To live in our truth rather than follow some prescribed role that we were conditioned to embody. We are being asked to be authentic, to be honest with ourselves and to no longer abandon our own needs in meeting another’s.

A portal of branches inviting me to step through.

A portal of branches inviting me to step through.

It is a time of freedom. This freedom holds the seeds of peace, of harmony, of joy. When all beings are caring for themselves and living their truth, peace can reign upon the land. When we are at peace with ourselves, the world begins to reflect that peace. My heart rejoices for all the gifts of this now. Grace is so present. Let us open ourselves to this love. Bless everything that shows up and bless all who deliver it to our doorsteps. Bless all who are teaching us how to honor ourselves by holding up the mirror of who we are not.

I am so grateful that I chose to be on this beautiful earth at this time. That I have the privilege to add my love light to the planet and all of her beings. That I can fall more fully in love with myself each day and in doing so, see more of myself in others. We are all one. One heart in service to the All.

The New Landscape

imageSecond night after the eclipse and I am still awake at 2:30 a.m. The moon is continuing to light up the night sky and I seem to be traveling with her. Finally, getting out of bed to make myself some raisin toast and a cup of hot water to douse the body’s emptiness.

Post eclipse sensations: We have entered a new world. Every cell in my body acknowledged this truth. This is a new landscape. All that has been, from this lifetime and all others…..suddenly void. Gone. Over. I felt waves moving all day. I would be inspired to take an action, only to feel the energy dissipate within moments. After a few times of this, I felt that I was to simply rest and allow the waves, taking no action. The world was still churning from the energies and by my stillness, I assisted in stabilizing this new frequency, this new landscape we are treading upon.

My mind was running around, wanting to create, to manifest, seeking the hows, the wheres, the whens. I know myself as a creator being…let’s get the show on the road! My heart gave a message of gentleness. Be gentle with me this day. Rest and allow. We have just landed here. We do not know the terrain. We do not know how to operate the machinery of our bodies in this new energy. We do not know anything as yet. Rest, open, allow.

Marveling at the bounty of olives still produced from these old withered trees. Think of the light being produced from these older bodies!

Marveling at the bounty of olives still produced from these old withered trees. Think of the light being produced from these older bodies!

Today I slept for the afternoon, pulled in so deep within the dream. As I surfaced, I felt like the babe in the house, who stretches and opens an eye, half lidded, takes a look around only to retreat back into his dreamland. You see the struggle that it takes to come fully into this realm. He spends his days sleeping and eating with a bit of observing and interacting time thrown in. I feel he is my role model for this now. Care for the body, rest as much as possible, stay close to what offers comfort ( the breast is his favorite place to hang out), interact with others as it gives joy, retreat into dreamland when you have had enough.

There are moments of bliss. I went to the library and came back with two bags full of books. I never know what will engage me so I load up on any title that calls to me. Sometimes half of the books I return unread but I love having the choice at hand. Library trips have always made me feel rich as I walk out with books galore.  I stopped at the store and bought the fixings for lovely snacks as well as bouquets of flowers. I sat out in the yard with a book and snacks, flowers on the table, and felt such peace.  The baby was nursing with his mama, diapers were blowing on the line in the soft breeze, the temperature was in the 80’s after days closer to the hundreds, other family members were spread about, one reading on the couch, one writing at the dining table, one in the kitchen, chopping ingredients for a pot of soup for dinner. Everyone was at peace, involved in what felt like joy in the moment. I proclaimed,  “We are living in heaven, right now. This is heaven.”

I am savoring this newness. I am being gentle with myself in my not knowing. We have just landed. It will take time to acclimate to this new place. Simplicity and slowness feel good. There is so much beauty up ahead and we have time to travel. There is wisdom in allowing the pause, the in breath, the deep sigh. We have done something miraculous. We have anchored the love light on our earth. Wonder. I feel wonder. Gratitude. I feel grateful for each heart on this planet and all those off planet who have assisted in creating this now moment. We are blessed. We are loved. We are love. We are love light streaming. Alleluia.

 

 

 

 

 

Blood Moon Eclipse Working Its Magic

Boulder basin we camped against.

Boulder basin we camped against.

Waves of energy streaming, dissolving all of our barriers and past. Whew! A time to be grateful for dear friends whom one can share these experiences. I went for an overnight camping trip….noticing how I have a thought and then it manifests. I was speaking about desiring another night out before the weather changes, a few minutes later I was with a friend and she said, ” I feel like going camping tomorrow for one night.” She was surprised when I said, “Me too!” So off we went up into the mountains to enjoy the coolness after the heat of the valley. We weren’t active in our normal way of taking hikes, rather we slept and sat in stillness, absorbing the energies from the boulders and trees surrounding us. Information flowed freely between us, our togetherness triggering greater insights for us both. My foot heat was due to anchoring in new frequencies. When we took a nap, we both saw how our energy fields were utilized as an anchor for new streams coming in. Golden light pouring through us into the earth and rising from the earth also. Our job, simply to be with it all and allow.

The lake that offered the water element to us.

The lake that offered the water element to us.

A couple of days ago, I felt completely without a shell, permeable, vulnerable, weepy. It was as if I were disintegrated, dissolved. No form, no identity. This has happened before on this path as we have gone through the letting go process, time and time again. I am grateful to feel a greater allowing, more acceptance in the moments. My entire intestinal tract emptied and I heard, “You are being emptied in order to be infilled with the new light.” I had planned to stay at a dear friend’s cottage for the weekend to give my daughter’s new little family some alone time as the other members of the household were gone. One minute I felt up to that but then I was not. I could not be in any new space, even though it was a space I knew well and loved. Instead honoring my vulnerability, I chose to stay with my youngest son, as his field offered me stability and comfort. It is so important to honor ourselves and take any steps we can to nurture ourselves during these intense waves of energy. Sharing with others offers assistance, knowing we are all being impacted in various ways but feeling the common thread running through it all is comforting.

Love the way nature writes her poetry for me to read.

Love the way nature writes her poetry for me to read.

There is much written about this fourth blood moon eclipse that will occur on Sunday, the 27th. I sense the changes within and know that is where it occurs. I feel the excitement, the creativity flowing in my dream state. Old memories releasing their sting, my palms and feet chakras aflame with new potential. My deepest heart’s desire for a beautiful home in nature with my beloved and the love pod about, rising to the surface in new hues of love light. The knowing that we each experience our world through our own filter. If I dream you as a member of my love pod, and that is not your dream……you can still show up in my pod as I create it. You will be alive in my reality, all the while living your dream. We are alive on so many levels and planes, there is no limit to what we can do as we allow ourselves to know once again, that we are creator gods.

For years, I have asked my own higher self, Sophia, why I could not seem to create my dreams in this third dimensional plane. It seemed to me to be the quickest way to get folks curious about the inner life, as they could witness material manifestations. Divine timing was the answer I got. All must bow to divine timing. Now, I still am without any sense of the how to do it, yet I sense I will begin to create my dreams as will so many of us. The hundred monkey effect will then spread this new creational frequency about the globe so that all lack, all separation, all that is not love, will fall away.

Playing with crystals and fairy lights at our campsite. The crystals loved being infused with the colored lights. One of the ways we have fun while camping!

Playing with crystals and fairy lights at our campsite. The crystals loved being infused with the colored lights. One of the ways we have fun while camping!

We are here to bring heaven to earth. We have waded through lifetimes of muck and mire to get here. Just recalled when I was being shown that my foot intensity was due to anchoring in new frequencies, my friend was guided to ask, what I was wearing on my feet. I saw golden sandals that then flashed to ones made of mud, of the earth. The images flashed back and forth and I sobbed. We are literally bringing the frequencies of heaven, the golden light, to earth, the material plane. Gaia can shine as she was always meant to, rich in bounty and beauty. Her children singing with her rather than weighing her down with demands. Joy!

I sensed a shifting as all in this universe, multiverse, moved to the next level. I felt a grieving as I let go of my old role as a frequency holder (though I am so beyond tired of this role) while also feeling the joy of my new role as a master creator. When I have pondered where I will be in the near future as my adult children and new grandson make plans to depart for other places, I have asked the where question. My answer has been, ” Let go of the where, focus on the feeling. That is what will take you there. ” I felt a sense of panic when my daughter told me of their departure date, feeling the wee one was too young yet to travel cross country. The panic receded and now there is only peace. All is well. My mind does not know how or why but my heart knows, all is well. Be at peace.

This earthplane offers so many gifts. I am drinking them in.

This earthplane offers so many gifts. I am drinking them in.

The veils of separation are dissolving. We are knowing that we are one, within and without. This gives me a deep sense of peace. I open myself to this new light with a grateful heart. May we all know ourselves blessed as this blood moon eclipse offers us a transfusion of liquidlovelight.  Breathe it in. Allow it to work its magic. Open to receive its gifts. May they be all that you desire. I love us all so.

 

No More Multitasking

A glorious tree being connecting heaven and earth.

A glorious tree being connecting heaven and earth.

I am here. Present with my aching feet…..new sensation. Rash on one foot, sore heel on other. It feels as if my feet have already moved into a new dimensional space, testing it out, getting a sense of the landscape.

I notice that I can no longer attend to more than one thing at a time.  I can no longer drive and talk, cannot write and carry on a conversation, even eating and conversing becomes somewhat challenging. The little prince who arrived as a grandchild, has had a hand in this. To be with him, requires a stillness, a slowing down, presence. He does not demand nor direct with words, his essence communicates with eloquence. He is showing me the new, the telepathic communication that is rich with light and sound. A packet unfurling in multidimensional splendor, a light show in my being that offers richness and depth that our language cannot reach. I find myself holding him and giggling in delight.

Thank you to all my dear friends who have experienced my abrupt ending of a phone conversation or interaction as I learn to navigate this demand for presence with more grace. We are in the training wheel stage of new ways of communicating, of being with one another. As I leave one focus, I enter fully into the next. No longer having the recent past as a filter that I view the present through. Here……and now here……here. Separate, new and yet all part of the love stream.

Nature and babies both offer easy transport to the now.

Nature and babies both offer easy transport to the now.

In this now, witnessing the strands flowing outward to create the next now moments. My daughter and hubby and baby intend to depart in a few weeks for their northern home. My elder son and his love are letting go of their apartment and lifestyle to head out to explore the next where. My younger son will be doing the same, to discover his and his finance’s next where. My former hubby will hold down the family fort, graciously storing everyone’s boxes while each journeys. He is experiencing change in his work world that may propel him on a journey to newness. Where will I head as this love pod disperses? I just read a post somewhere describing the nomadic, no home, lifestyle so many of us have adopted, as home free rather than homeless. Interesting idea, free to move at an inner calling, free from so much that tethers. Add that nesting instinct that lives within, the desire for structure, connection to place. Tethering. Beauty in both forms. I am desiring to create the home once again. Interested in how it could be new, how fluidity could coincide with form. How tethering could exist as a gossamer thread that allowed flight. How community could be a stroll from my doorstep.

My present life is an adventure in communal living. Grandparents, adult children, grandchild under one roof. The next step is the love pod communities where we each have our own space, be it tiny or sprawling, designed to suit our interests and desires. Where a community hub exists that nurtures and supports all through shared activities. Where harmony is achieved through resonance rather than rules. The utopian society that I dreamt of in my youth, the tribe come together once again. Yet a tribe without the yoke  carried by the old. Belonging, being seen and appreciated for one’s gifts, the delight in sharing those gifts. Freedom and connection. Fluid and tethered. Sovereign and united. A life of and, and and……not either or. I have long dreamt it. It exists. I am dreaming my way to it. Perhaps I am living the love that allows it to flow to me. Magnetizing it by my heart light. Yes, that feels good. What are you dreaming and magnetizing into existence?

 

Shards, to Pierce or to Shine

IMG_0693Shards of glass, I was reading something about turning them into reflective light. Feeling into times when I felt pierced to the quick, a shard finding its way into my heart’s core. We are programmed to feel the pain, to hide it deep under layers, to take it out whenever a tone of similar resonance plays in our world, and to injure ourselves afresh.

In this now, we are called to a new way. No longer viewing it as glass that cuts and causes bleeding. Rather, we can see it as a crystal gift, asking us to hold it aloft, to view its beauty and purpose from a higher vantage point. We are reminded that we called it forth into our world and that the other who presented it, is a soul friend, gifting us with exactly what we need. We can allow it to fully flow its energy through our being, whether that be sorrow or anger or pain. Once felt, we can release its reflective light to the All that is, adding to the shimmering rainbow frequencies of love light. Our hearts, clear and strong, free to beat out the tune of love that is our nature. No longer a repository of hurts and slights. Nothing hidden in its depths, all open in transparency.

How joyous, this new way. There is an ease and lightness that enters in as we accustom ourselves to this flow. I have been experiencing this in dreamtime. Awakening with an old injury alive within my heart, breathing in the feelings and calling in the violet flame of transmutation to lift them back to the love light. No more questioning why the feelings are there, no need to understand any of it, no longer impatient with the seemingly repetitive nature of some of the feelings, rather witnessing it all. Allowing the hollowness, the cloud that descends, knowing of the clearing that is inevitable. Riding through it with an open heart, feeling the wildness that allows.

 

 

Fully Present

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The earth splitting and releasing the old energies to welcome in and nourish the new blossoming.

My life is reflecting through a new lens these days. After years of Being, rather than doing, I am now actively doing. My daughter has returned from her Canadian home to await the birth of her first child. She intends a home water birth. I told her she was like a salmon, returning to this place where she was born at home to birth her baby.
My former husband, dear friend, has invited me here to assist in preparing the home for her and be her companion during this time. The house is always glad to have me back. I bring her back to beauty. The house rejoices in the gathering of the five members of this family in a circle of love and harmony. My daughter’s partner, soon to be husband will be the new addition as we all come to create a chalice of love light for this sweet soul to flow into. My daughter has chosen to not know the sex of the baby, but rather to focus on this being who is coming to bring diamond frequencies.

Days later, and a baby boy has come to us. We are all living in loveland with this wee being of the immense light. As my youngest son says, “Holding him is a meditation”. He connects you to Source as he emanates love light. When he opens his eyes and gazes at you, every fiber of your being desires to be all that you are. He calls you up higher. My daughter and her husband, waited days to decide on a name. He seemed so beyond a name to us all…we call him, Little Prince. He truly came trailing starlight.

It is such a gift to offer ourselves in service to this being. There are four or five of us in attendance, cleaning, freshening, cooking, grocery shopping, washing diapers, arranging fresh flowers, and the joy of joys, offering arms to hold him. My daughter was in tears one night, thanking us for assisting her so and we all agreed it was our joy. It feels holy and sacred as we each offer our talents to the little prince and his queen of a mother. As I live this, I send out the intent for every new mother and babe to be thus cradled in love and attention. It is the way of the new. All children deserve to have their mom’s and dad’s full attention during their first moon period on this earth. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends in attendance to shower them with love as that is what they have come from and know.

Flowers are the frequency of love for me, color and form offered in songs of praise.

Flowers are the frequency of love for me, color and form offered in songs of praise.

I have dreamed of the love pods forever it seems and now I am living a micro version of it. There is such a sweetness saturating our interactions, we flow in a sea of love. Today is my first day out and about as I have been called to hold a physical balance for this babe in the home. The baby’s other grandparents are in attendance today, having made the long drive from Quebec to California to welcome this one. There is a language barrier as they speak French and have limited English, and I have zero French. Yet our hearts connect and our eyes swell with tears as we share in our love of this little baby.

Love is all that there is. We are so blessed in this babe come to remind us all. My heart is rejoicing as the earth is now of a frequency that can support this high light. Wonder of wonders! My heart is singing a continuous song of Hosanna. I am so grateful for these beautiful souls landing in, for all who support and anchor them, for all who have done the clearing work to make this possible. We have entered a new age. September holds magic for us all as we open to the truth of our beings. I am living the wonder.

(No photos of the little prince to be published as his mama weaves her wise, protective energy about him).

De Change Be A Happening!

Great Salt Flats of Utah, wild place.

Great Salt Flats of Utah, wild place.

Oh yeah, we are in the swirling energies! Whew! Emotions are running amok as folks release the old pains, sorrows, hurts. Nothing of the old energies can move through the portal that stands before us. Thank you, Creator! Why would we want to hold on to any of that old energy?

I am back in California. I was hit with a wave of old family issues the second that I walked in the door. I journeyed down that rabbit hole for a ways before catching myself in wonder. Drama? Does not feel good. I used to live in that world of trying to control events, people, life. I gave it up long ago when I invited my higher aspects to run the show from their broader perspective. Much was released for all parties involved in a relatively short time…..nice to acknowledge the growth we have all made. The biggest lesson was to follow your own joy. To speak and act your truth and let go of trying to protect another’s feelings or influence them in any way. We were taught to act in ways to make someone else comfortable or manipulate them so as to make ourselves comfortable. As if we can truly know what does or does not make another, comfortable. As if we can control what comes into another’s life in any way. As if we know what is good for them or not. It was never our job. Our job is to be the best version of ourselves that we can be in any moment. As we are true to ourselves, we allow others freedom to be in their truth. We are all creating our world. If I create discord…..which I did indeed bring roaring into my world, it is a gift I brought to myself. It is my job to see the blessing it offers, no one else’s. If someone chooses to see me in a certain way, that is none of my business. It is how I choose to see myself and love myself that matters.

So much beauty abounds!

So much beauty abounds!

Everything is here to assist us to the next level of our beingness. All of it a gift arranged by our higher selves and this infinitely loving universe. And everything is going to turn out alright! It is all good. All truly is well. I know this despite seeing some of the changes that are in store for our earth. I look at these visions, which might have induced fear in former times, but which now bring a deep excitement. I know that it is all part of a purposeful plan that allows us to shift into this golden age of peace we have yearned for since forever. I know that I am always in my perfect place in the perfect time. I know this for all others, there is no need to worry. There is only the love light surrounding us all.

imageI tune in, act on guidance received, show up where I am called and love it all. It is so simple. No need to understand with our minds, only to allow our hearts to soar free. We have come full circle, all of the intellectual striving, spiritual seeking, emotional cleansing leading us to this now. No more to fix, to research, to understand. We are free to breathe deep into our own knowingness. To trust in the benevolence of one another’s hearts. To imagine a life unfettered as we have come to know that joy comes from the most simple pleasures.

Salta bath for my feet!

Salt bath for my feet!

I am so grateful for the past couple of days of sinking in to the quiet and peace of a space by myself. Gratitude to the friends who offered me this respite. I have watched movies, eaten ice cream and pizza, not showered nor dressed, took long naps, sat and watched the sunset…rested. Indulged my body in every way, letting go. No exercise, not much communication except with a few who lift me or I had information for. Time out, so needed, so appreciated.

How my poached egg arrived at a greasy spoon diner...the love is everywhere shouting out, " you are loved! "

How my poached egg arrived at a greasy spoon diner…the love is everywhere shouting out, ” you are loved! ”

Today I am off to co-create with other dear hearts. Repacking for another stint of camping before assuming mama duties that I am choosing with such joy. I will have the last opportunity to mother my daughter, before she herself becomes a mother. She was an independent child, pushed away from the cuddling and nurturing, wanting to do everything herself. Now, I will give her all the caring that she will allow before she steps into that role for her child. I feel the wonder of this cycle and intend to savor every step.

My heart sings out the refrain, I am blessed, I am blessed. A cool breeze blowing…and I am flowing in its arms.

 

Musings From the Windowseat

imageAwoke to a pink dawn painted across the sky. Showered early as the farmhouse inn where I am staying is full. Three rooms share the bath so I decided to beat the morning rush. I have been rewarded with hot coffee, a cosy window seat and the birds’ chorus as I wrapped the cool mist of morning about me. No one about, the young woman who made the coffee, off for a walk with the farmhouse dog, leaving me to this stillness. Peace.

Creek that waters the gardens.

Creek that waters the gardens.

My youngest son lives and loves in this small town nestled in the mountains of Colorado. My friend and I have been staying in this farmhouse inn where his love works. A big garden provides much of the food for breakfast and dinners, the rest being locally sourced. His love runs the CSA program, picking up produce from local farms, packaging it into 65 boxes which she then delivers to families in the area. She creates a newsletter with recipes highlighting the week’s produce. A wonderful system that connects folks to the fruit of the land in their area. So many earnest, inspired and inspiring young folks abound! There are many here focused on new ways of working, playing, being. Creativity abounds. One friend is setting up an old time, speakeasy salon with secret passwords and live jazz. My son has organized open mike poetry and comedy nights, they put on plays, organize board game evenings, barter services…drawing lessons in exchange for piano lessons, banana bread for mechanic assistance, gardening for dinners out. There is a sense of community that enlivens the air.

imageI feel nostalgic for my grandmother’s house which had much of this feel though it was even more beautiful. This house was ordered in 1906 from the Sears Roebuck catalog! Can you imagine? I remember paging through the Sears catalog as a kid for our Christmas wishes as most of our clothes and presents came from it. But a house! What a different world. The Internet has brought the world to our fingertips, we can order things from anywhere in the world with a tap of our fingers. We can connect with folks halfway around the world as if they were sitting right next to you. With all that expansion, we are coming back around to a smaller environment to fill our need for daily physical communion with others. The love pods are forming. I am delighting in this glimpse into what that may feel like. My son and his friends express their love for one another, openly and physically, with hugs and words. They support one another to be who they truly are, delighting in each one’s gifts.

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A willow sculpture by one of my son’s friends.

We live in a world emerging into oneness. It happens as each of us recognize our own beauty and express gratitude for the beauty shining through each heart we meet. The young woman who made the morning coffee is back from her walk with the dog to begin making breakfast for us all. She exclaimed over the beauty of the sunrise and her gratitude that she was present for it and the sunset each day. Last night, there was a rainbow lighting up the storm drenched sky. Her grateful heart fuels more beauty, her sharing, opened my heart more fully to the wonder in the quiet of the morning. My heart is so alive these days, pulsing on the verge of tears with the beauty that abounds. How I love this planet of ours!

Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons Lighting Up

Thunder storms moving in across the Tetons.

Thunder storms moving in across the Tetons.

The Fourth of July in Yellowstone was a target given in a vision. A friend traveled with me to weave the light in this hot spot of the planet. I was shown that I would be completing the weaving that I had worked on the past two summers in this area. As we entered the park, a torrent of sobs poured forth from a deep part of my being. This was followed by miles and miles of chants, Native American in sound. I knew not the words or meanings, knowing only to open my throat to their utterance. A black crystal in Australia called Redman’s release was brought to our attention to connect with. My friend brought a black crystal with her…her Blackfoot ancestry along with all Native nations journeyed with us, there was a huge layer of old pain, anger, betrayal, despair awaiting release. I awoke from dreams where I was working with a friend who is a chief in the Lakota nation. we were pulling the density out of the earth with song and dance and drums.

imageDuring these days, it took all we had to sustain ourselves. I had to laugh as I would guzzle a jug of water, rush to pee, shake as I found food, be pulled under the earth in a drugged sleep. I recalled the first winter when I had three children, a two year old, a one year old and the baby. I would get everyone dressed in their snow suits, mittens, hats, scarves, boots only to hear, ” I have to go to the bathroom, Mommy.” Undress, begin again to find the baby needed a diaper change…finish that, then one needed a drink, bathroom, nurse..you get the picture. A twenty minute outing in the frigid temperatures could consume hours of the day. That is how I felt. Every time I wanted to simply sit with a book or to view the mountains, my body would require some tending. Whew…numbing fatigue to wade through. I found myself crabby, short tempered. I was in and out so frequently, each return to the surface found words inaccessible, responding to questions near impossible. My only desire to commune with the elemental world of nature.

imageI found myself under the earth, working with the molten mantle, the steam vents, the crust. I was given signs of encouragement. Twice I went into a bathroom to find a single piece of toilet paper on the floor in the shape of a heart. Really? Yes. Heart rocks under my feet, a double rainbow in the sky after a downpour. A hawk flying in spirals through the rainbow, flashing his white underbelly and gorgeous wings in a salute of love. We were blessed by a buffalo walking calmly towards us on a single lane road we took to view a waterfall. He walked right up to us, we pulled the car to the side of the road, he brushed the car as he passed, giving us a shock as his huge head was upon us! We saw a golden grizzly eating bugs from a rotting log, a black bear ambling past our campsite, elk with huge racks of antlers gazing calmly, birds waking me with a cacophony of sound each dawn. Everything alive and adding to this shift that we are in. The mountains, the geysers, the mud pots bubbling like a witch’s brew, sulfur filling our nostrils…senses filled to the brim.

imageThunder and lightening storms have filled our nights. We were pushed to the edge with camping neighbors arguing in some language in the middle of the night. It went on for hours until 4 a.m. found us packing up our tents in the drizzling dark to move on. Another day we arrived back at our campsite exhausted to find an ambulance running its diesel engine as the paramedics tended to a women in the neighboring campsite. Our days filled with challenges as well as joys.

Lightening hitting the ground and moving up through our bodies, lighting them up. Our spines the mountain range, being cleansed by the thundering storms. I saw the way we release the infection from a wound, cleanse it with stinging peroxide and then sew it up to heal. The relief as we move into the sewing up stage! I feel that this morning as I love to weave, my body rejoicing in arriving at this point.

imageI have stood on the cliff by our campsite singing the sun down in some ancient tongue that flowed, watched dawn streak the sky in mists and soft pastels. This has been a mythic journey. I am reading a series of fairy stories of challenges and journeys that are mirrored in this realm. We walk in so many worlds, each connected in the oneness. My heart is full of gratitude for all who respond to the call to play their part in this unfolding drama as we birth the new earth. Everything in nature conspires to assist us as does the universe and all aspects of ourselves, past and future. We are witnessing the turning of an age. I know the blessing to have a body, to be present to the wonder. We are blessed. We are loved.

Dozing and Dreaming and Enjoying

The light dancing on our swimming hole.

The light dancing on our swimming hole.

Time continues its fluid dance. Days arrive that pass in a fog as the dreamtime pulls me under. The Solstice and the days since have been marked with time in nature with goddess sisters. Creeks flowing their frigid waters over bare bodies, warming ourselves on the hot rocks of the shore, gifting ourselves with an expanded version of hot rock massage. Champagne toasts to mark the longest day, delicious food, morning walks in the woods. Time on Mount Shasta, toning and communing with a group of soul sisters at Ascension rock as gateways called and portals opened. Coming down to earth with hamburgers in town as we completed our day. Fiery sauna, mineral bath and cold creek plunge day to integrate the new codes in the body. Relaxing in portable lounge chairs brought by a friend, elevating camping to a new level of ease. Gathering sticks to build the morning fire, heating water for coffee and a warm face wash.

Drive to the coast, a weekend alone except for a dear dog companion. Deep rest as I pull inward, allowing the birdsong and inner harmonies to nurture me. Bowers of flowers to intoxicate me: lavender, jasmine, honeysuckle, sweet pea, roses…the queens of fragrance. Cutting an armful to arrange in vases about the house, my joy soars! Bushes laden with blueberries and blackberries, fresh eggs collected from the henhouse, kale and chard, cilantro and mint all offering their goodness to me. A box of books, Irish fairy tales and fantasies arrive from a dear friend. A kitchen stocked with baking supplies, my heart danced as I made blueberry muffins. I ate one steaming and slathered with butter, fresh mint tea at hand, drinking a toast to my friend and Mother Nature for their creations.

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I love how the universe loves me. I love how much I love me, creating these wonderous experiences. I am so grateful for the friends and beauty about me. After three and a half months renting a room in Mount Shasta, I am once again traveling in my new, to me, car. We are getting used to one another and I am grateful for her low mileage, her solidness and beauty. My tent and I are now reacquainted and the weeks ahead invite me to enjoy more of nature’s beauty spots under her shelter.

My first day alone, I could hardly move. It was an effort to simply feed the dog. I spoke to my higher self with some consternation: “How am I going to camp for weeks and drive long distances if I feel this way?” Then I began to laugh as I realized how perfectly I care for myself! I was in a lovely spot with a soft bed made up with linen sheets, no less, I had nowhere to go and nothing to do. I sank in and allowed the dream to move me. I am a dreamer, weaving the threads of creation. Time alone is such a gift, I drink of it with pleasure. Boundaries expand, as I grant myself access to other realms. Knowing the space is mine, allows me to travel farther afield in the inner realms. It can be jarring to be brought back abruptly by another’s presence. A house, a room, a tent, a tree, a car…all of these have offered me that space at various times. There is the hermit part of me that delights in my own companionship. Yet, that is not the plan for this lifetime.

Wild lilies lighting up the green.

Wild lilies lighting up the green.

Tonight my friends return, there will be movement and thoughts traveling ahead. The ocean awaits, offering long walks. Yellowstone and the Tetons beckon as the energies seek an arcing route. My body is still moving slowly yet I trust she will pick up speed when required. I allow myself to flow in this dreamtime. The joy flame a heat under my breast. I view all as evidence of me loving me or as something seeking the love light which flows in a steady stream through me. We are so loved and cherished. I care for myself with tenderness. I am trusting you to care for you with this infinite sweetness. This is the path to freedom for us all. I love you.