Author Archives: lovelylinda

The Open Heart

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This statue of Saint Francis was standing in the garden at the Santa Barbara Mission. You can see that it has weathered in the elements. I was caught by the way his chest has rotted away. To me it spoke of his heart which was so beautiful and open. He did not shield it nor protect it but left it open to all the elements. He faced much criticism in his lifetime from his family and friends who did not understand his chosen path. I could feel such a resonance with him. He opened his heart so wide to the people and animals around him. Now he can shelter the birds that he so loved. They can actually find a space to land in his heart.


I want my heart to be that open and sheltering. I want to see everyone through the eyes of compassion and love. I want my love to flow in a stream that never ends. At times, I feel my heart afire with love for everyone and everything. I can feel my heart light turn on when I sink into its beauty and light. It is a physical sensation, almost a burning pain that allows me to feel love ever deeper. Oh, Saint Francis guide my steps. Let everything and everyone feel the love of our Mother/Father God flow through me. Let my heart come undone. Help me to expose it openly, to stand naked before the world with it blazing bright with your light. There is only love.

I think the shattering of our hearts, the bruises and arrows we have endured are what open it ever wider. How did Saint Francis get a heart that was dug open to the world? His feet did not wear out, nor his hands nor arms. No, his heart is what was worn to the point of disappearing, to creating a cavity within that could now hold life physically as well as emotionally and spiritually. We are in the heart time. We are learning to think with our hearts. Trust with our hearts, trust our own hearts. We are expanding beyond personal love into the realms of unconditional love like our Mother/Father holds for us. We are being asked to come up higher and the pathway is through our hearts.

I am grateful for this statue of Saint Francis that has given me another clue. He is my guide this day, on the path to that heart space.

Clearing a Path

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Yesterday I spent time clearing the pathway next to the cottage that my friends are so graciously hosting me in. It was rewarding on so many levels. First there was the delight that I felt energy moving through my body that wanted to be used. Hurrah! Second, I was able to breathe in the beauty of the trees, the sun-dappled shade, the birds singing and touching the earth so tangibly. Third, the path was one that my youngest son had been hired to relay years ago (don’t you love friends who support your children!) It was fun to see how well it had held up, only lifting in a couple of spots where the tree roots had grown larger. Fourth, by clearing the plants from the edges, it framed the remaining spaces in such a way that their beauty was more clearly evident.


As I did the final sweep to clear it of all the leaves and debris, I felt an ease in my heart. It seemed to show me a way forward in my life. As we release clutter, belongings, relationships, beliefs, values, ways of doing and being in the world that no longer serve us; our souls can take a deeper breath. We are in a time of great releasing. The path helped me to clearly see how the pruning back of things in my life can be whatever I choose. I can see it as a painful letting go and clearing or I can see it as an opening and release. It is all perspective! More and more, that becomes clear to me as I can see so many different perspectives in a given situation.

Having cleared this path, I can walk more freely down it. There is space to wheel a wheelbarrow or skip to my heart’s content. My arms can swing higher and wider as I step and my heart feels the joy of the openness. This path is inviting me to clear everything in my life that does not align with this new Linda. The changes are day to day. I find my sense of time dissolving as I live more and more in each moment. I am bringing more of me to the moments and delighting in all that I find.

I am off to clear another path today. May your day find you clearing something that allows greater access for more of your beauty to shine forth. You are so beautiful! I pray today that each person on this planet, awakens to their own beauty. In doing so, we can change our world.

Nature shows us the way

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Looking at this beautiful lotus blossom, I had a discussion with an acquaintance about how nature never holds back from giving all. This blossom opened fully into her beauty, not worrying about whether someone would be there to see and admire her in her moment of glory. Not concerned if she liked the one who was admiring her or not. Not closing up at the approach of one whose vibration she did not resonate with. Not fearing being touched, not fearing fish nibbling her roots nor turning away birds or insects from sipping her nectar. The glory of blossoming is not the climax but rather a part of the continuum of growth, of giving, of expanding. Nature understands the necessity of the cycles of expansion and contraction, growth and decay, opening to the sun and closing to the wane of day. Some flowers open to the sun, others to the light of the moon. Each is coded to bring its beauty forth in divine timing.

I am feeling this message so deeply. To shine my light in every moment, to cherish my path whether I am in the moment of ragged growth or radiant blossoming. To trust so deeply in divine timing that I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that my gifts are spreading into the world as they should. Knowing that I am enough in each moment. Having the courage and fearlessness to express all of me in each moment. Allowing my essence to shine brightly to all around me. Knowing that I am coded to blossom, to expand and grow. Feeling the ease and joy of that knowing permeate my being. Turning my heart light on to its full luminosity. Let it shine, oh let it shine. Breathing deep and flowing forth with all that is here to be expressed today.

Mother’s Day

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A beautiful day, waking up in the apartment with my two sons…what joy! The three of us establish a resonance together that is filled with peace and ease. Mother Mary is very present with me today as one of the divine mothers and as my adopted mother of the past 25 years. This is my first communion statue that has somehow survived from my childhood, the only thing that I have from that time. She is so dear to me. She has listened to my prayers for almost 50 years! Today I feel her mother’s heart beating with my own as we both embrace all the children of the world. And we are all her children.

The energies are running so high and low. Days of bliss and tears at the beauty and then days of anxiety and despair. All keeping me more fully in each moment. Accepting, allowing, observing. A friend was lamenting the weather, how it was different than last year at this time. I think that nature, with its recent extremes in weather patterns, is conspiring to bring us into the now moment as well. It is time to give up referencing our now with some point in the past. We are called to reorient ourselves. There is no fixed point. Having no fixed address, I have had to learn, and am still learning, to orient myself within my heart. Many are experiencing this as jobs, relationships, homes fall away. One is forced to be more conscious when so much of life is new and the routines disappear. It is a challenging time. Can we see a loved one as if for the first time? Can we respond to someone who has hurt us in the past, in the newness of the moment? Can we let go of our belief in how we are to act or react to a stimulus, and feel into it instead, allowing our heart to find a new way? X+Y no longer necessarily end up as Z. Can we allow ourselves to flow with our energy as it presents itself? I know that our society does not allow this. Most folks have to show up for work at a certain time and date, no matter how they are feeling. I believe that this will change in the new earth. A friend described a job she once had working for a man who understood energy and astrology and so knew that some days she would not be stirring from her bed. He also knew that other days, her energy would run high and she would accomplish a great deal. He allowed her this flexibility and it worked for both of them. Clearly, he and she were ahead of the times, tapping into the new. I believe that we are moving to this greater authenticity in all aspects of our lives.

I was talking about how my friends have to understand this new way in order to remain friends with me as my plans change on a dime depending on how I am feeling in the moment.I so appreciate all of them who have accepted this in me! This has been a hard thing for me to accept, my old consistent, dependable self did not like being seen as flaky. But some aspect of me knows that this is an important practice for me to follow. Today as we spoke of this, I heard, “You are doing this to pave the way. Do not concern yourself with others’ opinions. Your example is opening a doorway to the new for many.” Thank you for that, higher self!

A couple of days ago, I spent the day cleaning (yes, a surge of energy!) and as a reward, I walked down to the local flower shop to buy some flowers to put the finishing touch on the clean apartment. I was smelling the lilacs and enjoying all the beauty. I am like a kid in a candy shop when I enter a flower shop. The owner saw my interest and came over to discuss some flowering branches with me. We got into a discussion of fragrances and which were our favorites. I believe that roses are to have a scent. He concurred and said he had only one bouquet of roses in the store that was fragrant as well as lovely. He brought it over for me to smell. I did and then broke into sobs. It brought back the memory of my garden. I told him that for mother’s day for many years, my kids used to buy me an old fashioned rose bush to add to my beautifully scented rose garden. The garden had been bulldozed at the end of my marriage as my former husband wanted a pool and patio instead. It was what truly signified the end of my marriage, as if I was being bulldozed from the scene. I did not realize the pain that was still there but the smell of the roses brought it back to be released. Andre choose one of the roses and wrapped it for me along with my branches of lilacs as a Mother’s Day gift. More than the rose, was his gift of witnessing my pain and responding to it with love.

I am grateful for all that flowed to me and through me this day. I am grateful to our mother earth for all her gifts of beauty and nourishment. I am grateful to our divine mothers for their love. I am grateful to my mother for giving me life. I am grateful to my children for allowing me to experience motherhood. I am grateful to the sisterhood of women who are birthing the divine feminine back into this world of ours.


Sailing Through the Changes

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So much shifting, it is a good thing that I have my little boat to carry me along! I made the ceramic base a couple of years ago. I was amazed to find it intact and still among my few possessions. I had never added the sails, as I had not found material that was suited to it. I was bagging up some clothes for Goodwill when I came across this top that I no longer wore. I loved the satin binding that held the buttons and it seemed a perfect sail material. I was so pleased with the result. When I showed it to a friend, she recognized the material as having come from the top that I had bought on a trip to Colorado with her. Amazing! I thought of that last week when I was helping my son to sort through his collection of clothes. We had some laughs as we recalled shopping together as well as who he was in each period the clothes represented. Bit of a life review, what the challenges were and the lessons learned. Our possessions do tell us a story about how we are living our lives. Right now, mine would state chaos! I feel scattered, some things in San Francisco with my kids, some at my friend’s cottage, some in the trunk of my car. Where is Linda? I wonder that…


I went to a weekend conference with 100 folks from all over the globe who came together to co-create in this new energy. It was about emerging from the chrysalis. It was powerful and intense. A time of being seen for who you are, a time to exchange codes and activations. We created some wonderful energy that felt transformative. The sound of everyone toning their note was very magical. I am such a sound being though I am in silence most of the time. I do not often think to put on music yet I love sounds, especially the sounds in nature.

It was fun to hear how people felt called to be there. They came from Europe, India and two women traveled all the way from Australia. We are like butterflies and birds, following the call to be somewhere at some time. I no longer question why I am here or there as I know that at some point, I will see the larger picture and the dots will be connected. There is only the call and the response. I want to serve. Not my will but thine be done. The personality self has less and less to say, the soul is in the driver’s seat and assumes the reins quite naturally.

I have been shifting and changing internally, feeling opposing emotions one after another. Sometimes, simultaneously. Agitation and peace. Joy and sadness. I have felt empty, depleted, as well as full. I could not reach to a place of writing which has been strange as writing is my way of processing life. Yet, when I am in periods of deep metamorphosis, all of my energy is consumed with my internal workings. There is none left for outer expressions. For someone who has journaled most of my life, I am just now seeing this pattern. I have been in the chrysalis. It is a place of deep sleeps, (like falling down a well and just as hard to come out of ) frequent intake of food and water, and stillness. Talking and communicating seem too heavy to bear. I have been away from the computer and the phone. I have a hard time getting my bearings and I am extremely sensitive to my surroundings.

I went to a quiet hot springs to soak in the healing waters. I love floating and drifting in warm water. I took a wrong turn and ended up driving an hour out of my way. I drove along a lake, which should have meant joy for me as I love looking at water. Yet the energies of the area were so dense that I felt uncomfortable. I could see the beauty with my eyes, but I could not feel it. I felt the heaviness and knew that it was no wrong turn. Rather, Maxie (my light being of a car) and I were to lay down our tracks of light there to help transmute some of the density. I did feel such gratitude when I finally arrived at the hot springs. The land felt sacred and I could understand why folks have come to it for healing for a century or more.

Back in San Francisco and my body does not want to move. Deep rest is still in order. Plans change and shift as my body is calling the shots and she says, we are staying put for now. Trust it all, that is the ticket for me. Let go and allow all to move through. I found myself resisting this fatigue that seems to engulf me once again. I go back to the thought that I am always in my perfect place, doing just what I need to be doing or being. I am enough in this space. I used to tell my kids to trust their inner voice as it was always taking them on a short cut to their highest good, no matter what it looked like from the outside. I remind myself of that tonight. I feel that something is happening on the earth that has me anxious and tearful and my body aching. I am called to feel it and let it move through me. I do not know what it is but I am feeling it flow and my heart is expanding to embrace it. Embracing the mystery with love.

I just connected in to Gaia’s heart with my own to feel her energies. She is deep in the transformation also and I am given the image of birth. How all of my energy went inward. I recall my daughter at 17 months, chatting away to me while I was having contractions with my soon to be born son. I remember looking up at my former husband, beseeching him with my eyes, to take her out of the room so that I could be fully present to the birthing that was taking place. I needed all of me to bring my son into the world. Gaia is sharing this image to let me know that we are connected. We are going through this transformation together. As I breathe in, I feel her breath. Hence this need for quiet, safe energies to surround me. We are all birthing the new in us. I feel the sacredness and holiness of what is taking place. I am in gratitude to be gifted with the opportunity to witness as well as participate in this event. We are so blessed.

Where Have I Been??

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It has been over a week since I have written. I do not know how the time has gone. I have drifted in and out of this reality. Each time I awakened from sleep, it took some time to reconnect. Our other aspects are so busy and I kept asking to awaken to a world as beautiful as the one that I had just left. The beauty is there, it is my perspective that needs tweaking at times.

This image is from a day spent by the river with my son. We were thrilled with the way the plump fluffy white cloud seemed to be trailing wispy tails. It reminded me that there is the aspect of ourselves that we see clearly, (yes that is a solid white cloud) as well as parts of ourselves that are more misty or transparent. We are all of it. The peace and the turmoil, residing side by side. The joy and sorrow. It is all learning and experience. I have experienced pain this week as I resisted what is. I am reminded again that there are orphans inside of me who are asking for recognition as I found myself responding emotionally to a situation. I knew that there was a higher view yet could not reach it. I went to a Easter week meditation where we were asked to let go and forgive on a deeper level than we have ever before. I went to each person who has chosen to not be in communication with me any longer. They are all folks who I love on a deep soul level but have turned from me on a personality level. There was such a sense of peace as I stood with each one and acknowledged our connection and released each of us to our path with gratitude for lessons given. Felt my heart expand and expand in love. Tears rolled down my face as all this took place with lovely music and a deep guiding voice.


Everything conforms to our beliefs. Easter week has seen some old beliefs come up to be dismantled and some new ones step up to take their place. I am letting go of struggle, of not being seen, of a sense of injustice (wow, that was a big one for me). I am embracing these aspects of myself and letting them know that I am accept them as part of me. They helped me at some point on the journey and I honor them for that. I honor my humanness that at times seems in opposition to my spirit. Yet, that is the old separation energy. This new energy is full of ease and grace.

I was visualizing the community that I wish to be a co-creator in. I know that it will manifest if I can hold the vision clearly. The universe must yield to me. I am a creator being. This thought brought up a sense of responsibility…yikes, here it is! Now is the time and it is up to me and no one else to make this happen. Can I do it? There are others depending on me. I felt
the responsibility sit on my shoulders. Wait..that is an energy that I am all too familiar with. It is not my responsibility to create a place for anyone. I have a desire to do so, which is a much softer energy. A desire is desirable! It feels like fun, it opens my heart. This tree of pink dogwood blossoms opened my heart so wide. I felt bathed in beauty. That is the feeling that I want! So my job at present is to imagine my community and how delicious it feels and bring that into physical manifestation. It feels like the energies are finally lining up to allow it. The earth continues to tone her “All is well” tone which settles my heart. I join her with visualizations of communities and cities of light all over this beautiful planet. Where everyone wakes with a song in their heart and the harmony that is created brings tears and laughter.

Tonight I head to bed (was there earlier for a 3 hour nap!) with gratitude for my son’s wisdom. We were to begin the packing up of his apartment but neither of us felt well. Both tired, sore throats, head aches and wanting more sleep. He reminded me that it was the old way to push through and that the energy of the new was to allow it to happen when we were rested and our energies wanted to move. I know this! Yet we need reminders as we flip back and forth before this new finally anchors in. And anchor it will, I can feel it in my cells.

I am taking in big gulps of “I am loved” into my being as I prepare for bed. You are loved. I see your beauty as you are me and I, you.

An Early Easter Egg Hunt

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Today was a day of beauty. The sky was overcast and it threatened rain all day. I met a friend to do a full moon meditation as well as one for Mother Earth. We sat amongst her lavender plants and channeled the energy from the core of the earth. A beautiful feminine red energy that was so soft and fluid floated out in our voices and our hearts. We intended for it to go where the need was greatest and sent our blessings with it. The two groups are listed below, one from the USA, and one from Sweden.http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_171765026197648

http://www.childrenofthesun.org/

I love that I can connect with people from all over the world, as a group body to aid our Mother in her ascension process as well as aid our brothers and sisters. I love technology for how it has brought us all together.

We went for a walk and I felt like I was on an Easter egg hunt with all thedelightful surprises that appeared. There was the tree trunk with its gift of a rock stuck inside. I felt the joy of the stone. being tucked inside this massive trunk, sheltered and held. Fields of tiny pink flowers being sipped by black butterflies sporting a lovely blue on one side of their wings and a vibrant orange on the other. They were twirling about, skipping and flitting over the fields with such grace and seeming delight. We wondered how they found each other as some pairs came together in a mating dance. What force directed them in their seeming random flight? Then we came upon a rafter of turkeys though they can also be called a “gang”. This group looked like a gang. There were about twelve of them fanning their feathers and making their thrumming sound as they strutted about. They were all trying to impress one young female who expressed no interest in their grand displays. She simply turned her back and walked away. The gang followed at a stately distance, each maneuvering to show themselves in the best light. I could relate to the female’s attitude. She seemed to say, “Is that all you have to show for yourselves? Those silly fans and your puffed out chests and what exactly is that red thing hanging down by your face?? I want to see your hearts, boys, not this feather dance!”

I spotted a tiny half egg shell with a feather beside it. What was its story? Did some animal raid the nest for his morning egg dish? Was the feather from the mother bird trying to protect her young? A beautiful vignette that spoke to my heart. The wild grape vines were beginning to bloom. I love the tender leaves that start as pink buds that unfurl to a soft green. The hard grey sticks of the vines sprout tiny bright green tendrils that twist and curl about any hand- hold that they can find. My friend thought that they were like us, reaching our thoughts up to God and our higher selves. We throw them up and hope to catch on something that will support us as we pull ourselves up higher. It is amazing the way a vine can reach across an empty expanse, truly flinging itself out there in mid air with no support, and by means of its tendrils, grasp onto a branch or leaf and begin to secure itself. The tendrils are amazing spirals of tight coils, they are taking no chances of falling to the ground, once they have found a support. I wonder how many times the vine does not find any support within its reach. What does it feel as it flies through the air with faith and then lands with a thud? Does this happen? Surely it happens for us as we live through the ups and downs of our lives. Yet, we too have faith and throw ourselves out there again and again, hoping to catch hold of some essence of our divinity that we can twine ourselves about and use to climb ever higher.


Mother nature holds so many secrets and though I do not know what awaits me tomorrow or next month, she reminded me that I am held. I can trust to the force of love that is behind all things.







Recentering

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I aspire to be like this quiet Buddha statue, bathing in the light and shadows, observing life around me. He sits with such serenity as the leaves fall, the ivy grows around him, plants sprout and die back. To him, it is the ever changing landscape yet he is “seated” firmly on the earth. He is not jumping about in great joy nor is he wailing about some mishap or challenge in his life. He sits there accepting all, being present with it all. Loving all. As I sit and face him, I feel the peace emanating from him. I call in the essence of the Buddha to overshadow us both on this spring afternoon of gentle light. Everything feels so soft. The hummingbirds are dashing about, excited by the blossoms that have recently opened to the sun. A young hawk sits high on a tree branch and looks down at me. He is looking for my admiring glance as he lifts his wings and moves about on thebranch. I give it readily as I am thrilled by his wild beauty.


Everything wants recognition. affirmation, love. I am nestled into this place of wildness tucked into a suburban lot. A creek runs along one side of the property and oaks, birches, Japanese maples and eucalyptus trees all shine their special light about the place. My friends nurture this piece of earth and take seriously their role of stewardship. It is beautiful to behold. They plant with an eye to the needs of the birds. insects and the balance of the whole. A rooster crows in the distance and the trees sing a song that is lifted on the gentle breeze. I am part of the song as I allow my presence to be known to each one. I add my note and close my eyes so as to harmonize with the notes that I hear. I have to adjust to the deep bass of the grand oak that lords over the property. He is the elder and has earned the right to set the tone for today’s symphony. Amazing how each place has its own song, its own way of connecting all its parts. The oak takes into consideration the speed with which the water flows down the

creek, the newly unfurled and tender leaves on his and others’ branches, the forget me nots stretching their tiny faces of periwinkle blue to the sky, the buzz of the insects wings, and the bird songs that are carried on the faint breeze. He is the conductor who knows how to inspire each one to play their best note. I feel the need to be more of myself. To rise to his direction and to sing as purely as I can. This is what our elders knew, how to listen to the earth and its elemental life and find their place in it. That is what creates the harmony. To sit with the land and let it speak to you before acting upon it. Then it is possible to work together to create more beauty and to offer one another gifts. The earth is bountiful and she wishes to share her bounty with us just as we wish to honor her and share our gifts. What a beautiful partnership.


I came across the Scottish word, kything in a book by Madeleine L’Engle. She is one of my favorite authors. She wrote of magic for children to soar with. Kything http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kything means a sort of wordless, mind to mind communication in which one person, in essence, almost becomes another, seeing through their eyes and feeling through their senses.
Today I am kything with the trees and bathing in their stillness. I am full of gratitude for my friend offering me this space of peace and beauty.

A hummingbird is sipping the nectar from a fat magenta sage blossom. I have a plate of sliced pear, cheddar cheese and chocolate at my side. A deep sigh as a butterfly flits by. My note comes effortlessly to my lips in homage to the Divine in all things.


Floating

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Woke from a dream of floating on a lake with my arms outstretched. Must have been salt water as I was floating so easily. The water was the water of love. I knew that by feeling and breathing love, the water reflected that love and spread it to all waters on the earth. I saw love water bubbling up in streams, crashing in ocean waves, running in rivers, flowing down gutters, sparkling in fountains. Love water was everywhere. My job was to float and feel the love and let the waters do the rest. It was a beautiful way to start the day. More and more, I am being shown that it is that simple and easy. We hold the intention and the elementals and universal forces, conspire to enact it. I like this!

I then had some illuminating conversations with three dear friends. I had been under the weather with very cloudy thinking for a few days and a friend helped me to pinpoint the cause and do some energy work around it. Despite my personality saying that I was fine, she listened to her inner promptings and probed deeper. She knew something was not right and followed that knowing. In doing so, she aided me greatly and opened the doorway to more of us listening to and honoring our inner voices. Each time one of us takes a step, the path widens for us all to go through.

I have been asking for more of my own gifts to come in so that I can be of greater service. It is beginning to happen. As one friend lead me through a meditation, I found myself doing or seeing something that matched the next words out of her mouth. She described a script for a play lying on the table in front of me. She told me to see it in golden white light…it had just changed into that in my mind’s eye. She then directed me to pat it and my hand was already patting away! We laughed as I loved the sense of being so in tune with one another. Loved feeling more in tune with my own guidance and learning to trust it more.


Another friend asked me to go back and look at something three lifetimes ago. My rational mind said, “No can do!” I opened myself and asked my mind to step back. A feeling came through around my eyes, oh, I could not see, I was blinded. I did not have to relive any of the trauma that was around this

(big growth for me! No more pain)

but was able to access the contract that I had made to not see. The timing was perfect as I have been asking to have my third eye opened and to be granted the gift of inner sight. I have to reassure that part of me that experienced trauma from having that gift, that I will take care. I will not misuse it. I will use discernment, I will move from my heart’s wisdom. I will honor the gift and do no harm.

As part of this release, there was a point where my friend said, “Oh you can say, f_ck that.” Then she said that I would not have used that language so she repeated the phrase with a Scottish accent matching the times we were in. We went into gales of laughter! It seemed so ridiculous to think of this other self of mine looking at her man and saying those words. We could not stop laughing. It was so freeing and allowed the energy to move right on through with nary a bump. Now that is the kind of energy work that I like!

So much shifting and changing internally and the call to stillness will allow the necessary integration. My mind is so active and clever in its attempts to stay in charge. . I said to my friend, “I think that I will avoid the computer for this quiet time in that dear little cottage that awaits me.” My mind immediately jumped on that. “Ok, no computer. We will be in our hearts all the time. No blogging, no skyping, no talking.” It is so quick to make a rule, find a pattern, categorize things. It wants to KNOW and it wants a PLAN. The opposite of being in the moment. My friend and I had a good laugh about that. There is no plan, there is no knowing. I have to reassure my mind that I know that this is all difficult for her and try to find her other things to focus on.

So, I may blog, or you may not hear from me for a time. There is no plan, there is only now. Breathe into it and let go. A full day, ready for a salt bath and bed. Grateful for friends and laughter and lakes of love water.





Partaking of Our Own Nectar

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Oranges…I drove down a street in Sacramento, CA and it was lined with these beautiful orange trees. The fruit was up too high to harvest without a ladder. I looked up at these beautiful golden globes of juicy sweetness and could see myself. We each have this incredible sweetness of our own divinity that is a part of us. We get glimpses of its beauty but it feels out of reach. We need a tool of some sort to harvest and partake of the nourishment offered. How do we pull down our own I Am presence and take a bite of its succulent essence? Where is my ladder that allows me to climb up and pluck all the goodness that I seek?


Today my emotions have been in high gear. I am literally flowing with the water of release, delight, fears and old patterns whose time is done. Tears, deep breaths, laughter and tears again. I ride this new wave of energy that has come flying in with today’s new solar flare. I haveplucked a juicy fruit from my tree and as I bite in to its soft center, the juice is running down my face and arms. I am covered in its sweet essence. Sticky but happy!

My heart is my ladder, at least that is what I used today to stand among the branches and pick my fruit. A beautiful understanding came with my daughter, a new rung on our ladder together. My son and I entered a new plane as we communed through our hearts. We are all climbing our own ladders and the beauty of this sets my heart on fire. We are all moving closer to our truth, that vibration inside that when you strike it, the tears flow in response.

Yesterday I was sent an email describing a workshop on creating sacred spaces. You know
that recently I had decided to only be in the workshop of my heart. Yet this workshop woke something inside me as I tingled all over and KNEW without a shadow of a doubt, that this was part of me. Part of my work on the planet. I had done this before, the memories quivered inside as a strong knowing lit up every cell with a bright light. Oh, the delight of feeling this again! To feel a connection to some part of myself, to feel a tug towards some out picturing of a mastery that I had attained in another incarnation. Teaching in a new way, yet teaching all the same. I am getting that everything will look different than what my mind has conceived. If I remain open, if I climb the ladder of my heart with courage and resolve, I will be gifted with a sweeter taste than any previously imagined.

Archangel Metatron has been speaking to me through others’ channelings and the whispers of my heart. I love that since I began calling to him, he has responded so lovingly to me. He wrote about a group of us who have chosen to be single at this point in our lives to work towards our mastery. To truly embrace the gifts of our soul and its wisdom. Many being women in the fifties category. I cried when he said that it was not because we had failed at relationship nor were incapable of finding someone but rather that we had set this time aside for ourselves to truly win our mastery. That resonated with me and I know its truth.
It truly helps to have these confirmations appear when I am in need! I love that the universe works in this way. We are each gifted our truth of the moment and all that supports that next step will be there. I am filled with awe as I witness this time and time again.

Time for a nap. Gratitude for all that has come. Grateful for a couple of dear friends who have stepped forth to offer a sheltering space for this inward time of mine. Who have understood my back and forth, up and down, moment to moment life. I do not need it at the moment as I have a space provided but to know that there is a home waiting for me, is a gift of immeasurable comfort. Archangel Michael had told me that I would never lack a home but would be offered many and he is true to his word. My homelessness is part of my path at this time and I accept all that entails at this moment. To be the receiver when being the giver was ever the more comfortable path.

Truly, we are not the easiest folks to be around with our intensity as this birthing is taking place. Thank you to all who have shown me love in this lifetime and particularly to those who are supporting me at this critical juncture where I am more vulnerable than I have ever been. My heart receives and radiates this love in deepest gratitude.