Disconnection From Those Closest To Our Hearts

Posted on May 26, 2018 by lovelylinda

The contrast of the beauty against the rough is alive in me.

A couple of weeks ago, I read an article talking about a purging that was happening. It stated that we would find ourselves having to disconnect from those closest to us…mates, children, parents, siblings or friends. The article stated that we had to disconnect from all the old ways of relating in order to free ourselves to move on in our sovereign state. It mentioned that we would likely reconnect in a new frequency in June.

https://ascensionenergies.com/2018/05/11/letting-go-of-all-close-connections-huge-purging/

The old and new present as we weave ourselves into our divinity.

I had noticed some of this in my life but now I am experiencing it on a whole new level. A couple of sleepless nights have happened as I process all that has come up. Transparency is the order of the day. I am being shown where I have been in judgment of others, where I have carried a protective energy for others, where I have held space and where I have given too much as well as desired to control others. Whew!

The wondrous thing about it all is how none of it has floored me as might have been the case in the past. I could look at each relationship and sift through the layers as to where my actions came from. It was enlightening. There was grief lining the pockets of much of it. A huge letting go and surrendering to trust once again. Allowing what needs to fall away and open to what will come.

There were moments when all I could think of was getting in my car and driving far, far away from anyone that I knew. To be in total solitude in the peaceful arms of nature. Those moments were offset by ones where I felt such immense gratitude for my life and the richness present. I ping ponged between these two states for a time.

Now I sense that I have emerged from the tunnel of confusion. I have cut all cords to those dearest to my heart. I have taken an energetic step back and breathed out a deep sigh. I have let go of any expectations of how it might look in the future. I dissolved my long held dream of community and love pod into a mist. Let it all reform. Let the new emerge in an organic way.

On my walk, I came around a corner and almost collided with this deer. We both paused in a moment of connection.

I am showing up yet with a new stance. I am present with a looseness that is spacious and freeing, for myself and all others who dance within my sphere. I am feeling that ability to love everything that touches my life with a fulsome heart. I had thought that I was there yet this recent disconnection illuminated for me the many strands that I was continuing to hold in place.

Ah…how dear we are as we let go of so many programs and ways of interacting with one another, with ourselves. We are the tenderest of beings, so desirous of doing good, of being of assistance. We have been programmed in a million ways that kept us limited. How grateful I am to take a breath in this new space, knowing that each shift finds more oxygenated air to breathe, wider arenas to play in. Invoking grace for us all as we make this movement.

A Leaf’s Lesson

Posted on October 23, 2017 by lovelylinda

I lie on the sofa with some lovely English craft magazines to feed this burgeoning creativity that is flowing through me. The soft, cool autumn air wafted over me as the brightly colored quilt warmed me. I watched a leaf twirl its way to the ground. The peace flowed over and into my heart and I thought…..this. Yes, this is everything.

My note, my song is for this peace to permeate every heart. For all to feel this ease and freedom. There are some so dear to my heart who are struggling mightily, as are so many in these times. My heart offers a space around them, a field of love light to be used as needed. We cannot create this peace for another, we cannot change their path. We are called to trust them to their own I AM presence, to their own truth, to their own lessons, as difficult as they may appear. All are creating their own reality for their soul’s growth. We are called to honor the holiness and sanctity of each one’s path, as uncomfortable and difficult as that may seem when our hearts desire to dissolve their perceived pain.

We can become the peace ourselves, as we face everything that comes into our worlds with an open heart. If I feel a contraction, a moving away from something, I can breathe into it and allow it space. If I find myself fearing anything coming towards me, I can sit with the fear and allow it room. The energies are so quick in these times, that feelings flow through, morph and dissolve in a blink.

We are becoming comfortable with others’ uncomfortableness. No need to fix, to prop up, to make right. We can sit with someone suffering and allow that suffering. We can share that space without suffering ourselves. We offer our heart light as a field of love that can hold all that is not love. We can sit shoulder to shoulder, and breathe with them. We can see their truth and let them know that we know that they will find their way through this trouble or situation. We do not know the hows, nor need to. We do not need to offer answers or solutions. We know only that all will be well. Opportunities will present themselves and change will come about if the person truly desires it.

The recognition that I have called forth everything in my life, for my benefit, my expansion as a being of light, sets me free. Changing the perceptual lens, changes how I engage with life. I am amazed frequently with the intensity of the love that I have for myself. The way that the greater aspect of myself, gives me opportunity after opportunity to master a lesson, discover a knowing. I am in awe at all the beings and events that align to make this possible, time after time.

Once the need or desire for drama dies down, there is left this freedom, this simplicity. Life flows with ease and greater grace. Moments of intensity may still come yet we now face them with a calm heart. Fear is no longer a factor. This allows new levels of freedom. More and more, events are conspiring to assist humanity to let go of a belief in external things as a source of security. More and more, folks are realizing that security comes from Source, that inner light within the chambers of our hearts. The old scare tactics of old age, ill health, poverty, and dying are losing their power. We are coming to the knowing that we are never alone, that we are always supported as we act out our lives on this stage.

A simple life full of daily pleasures is my desire. I allow myself to become the leaf that lets go of the branch to delight in the descent to the ground. Will I fear the fall or will I create a beautiful dance with the breeze, enjoying the movement in each moment? The choice is ours. I choose to surrender and let go and see where this wind will take me. Perhaps I will descend and land, only to be crushed under the tire of a truck driving down the road, perhaps I will be raked into a pile and find myself thrown back in the air by a child’s body landing nearby in play or perhaps I will softly drift into a pool of water and float on the surface. There are so many endings and within each, new beginnings. I trust all of it. I know that I am cared for, as are you. All beings, known and loved by the One, by Source, the Creator. I am in love with having a part in this play. I am grateful to all you courageous hearts that came here to act out your parts too. May we all know ourselves blessed.

New Life Flowing In

Posted on April 27, 2016 by lovelylinda

Just as the light is highlighting the beauty of these tulips this morning, it is highlighting our beauty, our wholeness. Allowing us to claim all parts of ourselves as we stand in this glowing, flowing liquidlovelight. I am so loving the sensation of aliveness that is moving through my cells. I have been exercising for the past week, something I have not done in years, after a lifetime of daily exercise being the norm. My body is gaining strength and vitality. It is as if I have awoken from a years long coma. To land in this space has taken all of me. There was very little left over to animate the physical body.

Now that we have established the new grid of love around our planet, we can be present to enjoy all that it has to offer. There is an aliveness sparking all my cells, I am enjoying the sensory delights anew. To smell roses, oh my! To feel the bare earth beneath my feet, pulsing her love note to me. To listen to beautiful music, the birds chirping and trilling. To feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, to float in the warmth of a hot tub, jump into the coolness of a salt water pool, to feel the slyphs of the air, embracing my cheeks. To taste fresh basil exploding on my tongue, creamy, melting ice cream, crunchy salad greens, walnuts with their nutty goodness. Everything a celebration of being alive. I am here! We made it through the tough times. We did not give up, we did not depart. We are standing and reaping the harvest of light.

This gave me the feeling of old, our hearts protected by barbed wire, not wanting any pain to enter.

My gratitude flows in waves along with the incoming streams of love light. This is just the beginning! Can we stand in the joy? That may seem a strange question yet we have been so programmed by the fear and hardship vibration, that it takes some unwinding to allow in the joy. Many are finding tears flowing, not of sorrow, rather the release of its grip. Many old emotions are moving through never be seen or felt again. Hallelujah! All are lightening our beings and our Mother Earth, allowing the flow into the new. We no longer need any protection as this love that we are, is a force that can move mountains. Only we, can release ourselves from the prison we created.

Self love is the key to it all. Immersing ourselves in the golden love light that flows like a waterfall unending. I find myself singing love songs throughout the day, to myself. I feel like a child and am treating myself in every way. Roses by my bedside, yummy foods, a new pair of shoes that set my feet skipping and jumping. Hearts on my bed, crystals around me that vibrate with me, taking naps in the pool of light streaming through the skylight. Time with dear hearts that share in this quickening energy, whether in person or

by phone or computer. So many ways to connect our hearts! A daily chat with my grandson, babbling to one another in ancient languages of light. There is such wonder on this beautiful planet of ours. I have always had eyes to see yet now I am experiencing it deep within. My body is waking up with my divinity. All merging in the now. All wanting a taste of this physical existence, all intent on bringing and anchoring the vibration of heaven on earth.

Calla lilies symbolize the chalice to me as they offer themselves to hold the incoming love light.

There is such freedom in resisting nothing, being open to all that presents within each moment. Knowing all is love, every challenge holding a gift, each event in our world, self created. As we have surrendered our personality selves’ control and aligned with our divinity, we trust implicitly in all the ways we are bringing ourselves to wholeness. Events can feel so random and strange yet trigger all that has to move out in order for make room for more love light to flow in. We are chalices for this divine light of love and there is nothing worth holding onto once we allow ourselves to feel the love that is offered. In every moment, it is there. It is ours to accept and allow. May you awaken to the wonder of a new day to play on our beautiful home. I am so grateful that we are all here!

Musings On This New Year’s Day

Posted on January 1, 2016 by lovelylinda

Lying here watching the flames dance in the fireplace, the dense logs (stone wood, my son calls eucalyptus) resisting then slowly surrendering to the fiery furnace. This is my New Year’s Day morning mediation. As I place myself, solid in form, dense with old beliefs and conditioning, in the fire of the Creator’s love, I observe the transformation. Some aspects of my being catch flame quickly, others take ages to soften, to allow the turning from heavy dark wood to red glowing coals that settle into light airy ash. It takes time and I sense the meditation will take the day.

A vista of delight for my senses. Son, Gabriel’s painting.

A friend was starting off the new year at a meditation retreat. He spoke of the sitting and the dharma talk and my being knew that was in the past for me. Years ago, I went to a Buddhist center in Sante Fe for a calligraphy workshop by a Japanese master. I loved the brushwork but was called to task for my non-observing of the rules of the place. I did not find the walking meditation about the room, the sitting staring at the wall, to hold joy. I went outside and laid under a tree and drifted in peace, until I was harangued for being there. There were signs everywhere admonishing one to “drink your tea in peace”, “walk in mindfulness” while I experienced the server wiping my table to hurry me along as I was drinking my tea in peace. Rules that held form but not embodied by the ones living there. My freedom loving self has not been able to adhere to group rules, awaiting the forming of groups with no need of structure or rules in order to harmonize.

No, give me the solitude of this fire. The freedom to turn to netflix (how fortunate we created such things for these ascension times!), to chocolate chip cookies, to a light novel, to a call with a friend. My meditations are states of being rather than prescribed form. I like my spirit to fly free and at one with what is in my world. I can feel exhaustion descend like a leaden weight only a few minutes later to find myself bustling about changing sheets. I have to flow to follow this self, she is a wonder being full of surprises!

A friend gave me a plant to place in the garden of my new home…I was touched that she sees that coming as I do.

Love, the love. I spent New Year’s Eve with my beloved self. Slight headache and unease in the body, so grateful to be on my own, floating in a quiet space. I have been withdrawn into the stillness this holy week. Three days of pjs and no shower, awake in the night, dead asleep in the day, allowing myself the “coma” of isolation. Outdoors sunlight beckoned but I could not answer, turning to the couch, the pillows and quilt. Now tendrils moving out to loved ones but still the call to stillness. It felt a bit strange this Christmas Day that my three children were all with their new families, the families of their partners. My former hubby with his also. I felt the joy that each had been welcomed by dear hearts and found more love. It brought back memories of that first Christmas with my in-laws and the family that I would become a part of. I felt my alone state with tenderness, knowing the love that only I can offer.

Bright tights and a kaleidoscope, gifts making ready for play.

This path is a strange one, my deep desire for connection, for community and yet no desire to join, to participate in that which brings it. Alone for the most part, awaiting the timing when the frequencies allow my full participation. Trust and trust again. Eight years of this solitary state outside of the marriage and yet it was there in all the years prior. I recently had to fill out forms and wondered at our classification system as you had to choose from: single, married, divorced, widowed, or separated. I did not see sovereign as a choice. I am sovereign. It is time for the old identifying systems to dissolve in the flames.

My soul has been called to hold its note, to swim in this stream on my own. The knowing has grown of all the love and beings that are beside me, my heart full of the love that never ceases to flow from the One Source. The trust has deepened to a fuller note, that has character and staying power. The fire has quieted, a cave of orangey-red coals drawing me in. I trust in my visions of the love pods come, a beloved in form to play with as the year of the fun loving monkey gets underway, co-creative adventures with hearts harmonizing with mine. I look to none of it to fill me, as I know love is an inside job.

Answering the call of this cave of coals with a grateful heart. Allowing the transformation, the rendering to ash. The resurrection. The love. This love, this fiery love! I AM.

Musings of the Week, Are We There Yet?

Posted on April 22, 2015 by lovelylinda

These days move with no rhyme or reason. One day, I am exhausted, spend the day in bed, reading, dreaming….so present elsewhere. Another day, I awake with energy, it comes in bursts. I wanted to be outside for more of the day, beyond the confines of the backyard. I packed a lunch and a notebook and went off to the lake. I ended up walking halfway around it before turning back. It is a seven mile loop that you can walk in the summer. There are a couple of footbridges that are removed in winter, hence, the retracing of my route.

I sat against a tree trunk to eat my lunch, drinking in the scent of pine resin released by the spring warmth. I realized how much I love that smell and the feeling of being surrounded by nature’s beauty. How camping allows that essence to seep into my pores and settle into my bones. I thought of the Grand Teton Mountains, the sparkling clear lakes of British Columbia, the shores of the Pacific Northwest and so many places I have yet to explore. I want that strength to return that allows me to be in the elements day and night. It takes stamina and energy to be outdoors, to make the fire, cook the food. Everything is a bit more of a challenge. At present, I do not have that energy. I am grateful to have a bed awaiting me, a kitchen and bathroom at hand.

A heart rock I picked up and placed in a tree to shine at passerbys.

I waded into the water until my feet were red and numb. It felt so good to feel that sharp aliveness. So much of my time is lived in a shimmery space, neither here nor there, that there is a joy in the physical sensations. I am ready to be more present in this now, with energy and enthusiasm for everything. Yet, I find myself in this space of disconnection. I am unplugged. I know that I am at work on other planes, creating new connections, new alignments. There is no pushing the timing, no skipping ahead as my weary heart desires. The patience pause…..I have become good at this. Why? Because there is nothing else. I have fully surrendered to my higher presence, to her wisdom gleaned from a broader perspective. Do I get tired of this half life? Yes……I feel beyond weary of it all.

A couple of dear friends of late have expressed concern. Am I sure that my guidance is correct? Does it make sense to continue to follow a path of Being when it has gone on for so long? Years, not simply weeks or months. We live in a world that values action and prizes productivity. I hold an extreme note of Being that sounds discordant. My friend asks, “What about creativity, are you painting?” No, only in my mind. It feels so heavy to think of gathering materials and claiming a space to create. I can lie on my bed and make use of sunbeams and cool breezes and weave them into structures and form. I dream of creating outdoor spaces that when you enter, your cells sing a song of harmony as your own beauty arises. I see towers of shimmering silk that float in undulating waves to bring shots of color and sound to those on the ground.

Everything in this reality feels dense and heavy, my body, the effort of cooking or cleaning. It is not that I do not desire to create, my palms are alive with the passion but await new tools. I want to create with light and mist and clay of the earth. All blended in new tones and forms.

Rainbows dancing in my palm delighted me.

In this now, I enjoy what is here. The bursts of energy that allow my washing to be done, the line dried sheets that offer me their fresh scent for sleep, the lilac wafting its heady scent by my bed, the thunder and lightening show lighting up the sky out my window this night, the rain falling on the roof and sweetening the air flowing over me from the open window above my bed. Gratitude is there in every breath. I take none of it for granted.

I just accidentally clicked on the notes icon and found this I wrote a month or so ago. Not sure if I used it in a blog but it fits this moment:

The trust and faith bones in our being are strengthening with each surrender, each letting go. Ours is to breathe it each moment. To know and feel it within our hearts, that the Universe is conspiring to bring us our deepest desires in ways more magnificent than our imagining allows.

Despite the weariness of soul and heart, this continues to ring true for me. It is getting closer, I feel it in my cells. I sense movement up ahead and an aspect from bygone days feels the excitement of being the one up in the crows nest, crying, “Land ho!”

aligning

Windows of Opportunity Open and Close

Posted on April 10, 2015 by lovelylinda

Geese moved to the rooftop as we left the meadow.

The energies swirl and shift like the wind. I am so aware of divine timing. When the timing lines up, you are given the opportunity to go and it behooves one to move quickly! I was not feeling that I could make the drive to Sacramento to get my dear friend in place for her departure. I opened to what other possibilities were present. My friend knew of possible ride with a couple she had recently met. She sent off a message while I showered and prepared for the day. I began to gather things as if to go, without thinking I was going. Suddenly, I knew that we had a window to depart…was given five minutes. My friend responded with alacrity and we were in the car. One thing remained to be done with the mountain to complete this phase of our work. First, fuel ..stop for coffee and bagel in town. Felt into where we were required to be. An image of the meadow with the boardwalk floated in, yes! Off we went. We parked next to two geese sitting on the edge of the road. We walked quickly down the boardwalk, my friend setting the pace. I felt where she would stop and we would begin. She did stop in that spot, we shed our shoes and socks, stood in the snow and…her arms flew as she did what she was called to. For me, a deep, loud toning began instantly, surprising me with its intensity. Just as suddenly it stopped, we dried our feet, put on our shoes, went back to our car and headed off. We flew down the road, carried in the sunshine and warmth.

The layers of clouds that opened and closed with the sun on our drive.

There were to be four of us gathered, we were to be in the meditation room at a friend’s house. The friend from Scotland had not been in that room despite having spent days at the house. She knew it was not time, now it was. We sat outside, soaking in the sunshine, laughing and enjoying the information that came through us for one another. It was playful and nourishing. The room called, time to move in. We had crystal and Tibetan bowls, gathered the skulls and crystal beings who asked to join us. We sat anchoring the four directions, each knowing her place. The space opened and it all began. Bowls and voices sang songs ancient and deep, dialogues in other languages, translated by the heart, came through from other lands and time. We were our ancient selves, come again, on time for an appointment set from ages long passed. How deep the love and knowing of our souls! Each played our part, all acting in one accord, flowing harmoniously through time and space. Many joined in, a celebration and acknowledgment of a phase completed. Future gatherings shown.

I trust the universe and myself, so completely. All is known as we open our hearts to it. We are becoming more fluid as that is how we are able to flow with the energies. If we try to push against the current, we get battered. By aligning and allowing and attuning, we catch the wave that will carry us farthest with the most ease and joy. Our times of being rolled under the surf lessen and we experience the exhilaration of riding the crest with the spray dancing its joy across our bodies.

Crystal beings playing.

I do not understand most of what I do. I feel it, follow it, open to it and allow myself to be the purest chalice that I am able to in any moment. I sense the acknowledgment from my Christed aspect when I hit my mark and deliver my lines beautifully. I am grateful to be of service. I need not know the whole picture, but rather know that I have played the part I have been given to the best of my ability.

As my Scottish friend left on the plane, I left by car. Grateful to be back here in Mount Shasta to dream and rest with the mountain. The next phase begins. Body worn but a vision of playful rejuvenation has been given. Oh! It could happen like that?! Opening to this next moment with a full heart. How beautifully we are learning to play this game. It gets so much more fun as we each begin you trust our gifts and let our light shine. I love us all! Thank you for playing your part!

Equinox With Its Gift of Balance

Posted on September 22, 2014 by lovelylinda

The crystal clear water of Lake Crescent that I bottled to add to waters along my journey. It felt so balanced on our skins, assisting in this process.

What amazing times we are in! There is change everywhere, inside and out. I am back from the Pacific Northwest loop where I found incredible beauty with water and mountains that fed my soul. I have to laugh at the way my mind works. I had thought to find a place that resonated and to call home. My personality self desired this greatly, after all, I had clearly stated to Sophia, my higher self, that I was available for the summer months but wanted a landing spot by October.

What happened was that by about 4pm each day, I found myself so spent that there was not a vestige of energy left for house hunting. Hardly any for forming words. I felt as like a wind up toy that simply stopped and there was nothing to it but to rest and await the next infusion of energy. I would intend to check things out, yet it did not happen. Instead, I would be given the next step on a journey that was in motion….not settling in as I had thought. My sister and aunt popped in and the knowing came that traveling to visit them was next. My mind questioned, “How does this help me find a home?” The answer was, “Trust.” I squirmed a bit with that then happened upon a recent post from Karen Bishop who writes of as ascension changes. She stated that folks on the front edge of this movement were being kept from landing in anywhere. As she went on to explain the larger perspective, I felt relief and joy flood through me. Yes! She described all that I had intuitively felt was my truth. That experience reminded me why it is so important to share our journeys, as one line can confirm our knowing and strengthen our resolve.

The mists are clearing for us all.

My computer and my brain have been on the fritz so writing was more of a challenge than I could muster. For the past few days, the earth has been pulsing energy up through my feet, my legs, my hips and onward. Interesting sensation. Last night as I was preparing for bed, energies were pulsing about my head in various spots, almost calling me to lie down. When I did, I was tucked in gently about my torso, the field vibrating with almost forms. I knew my beloved was present as were many of my guides and angels. With that, I drifted off to sleep.

This equinox feels tremendous to me as we are being gifted with so much newness. The past two days, the light has held a new quality to it. My senses are waking up in a new way. Right now, there is a dancing flame of energy on my crown chakra. I love feeling and sensing all this! The earth is releasing old memories of pain, emotional, physical and invites us to do the same. A friend and I walked by the river yesterday and realized in our talk that I have been working with the perpetrators of “evil”, holding them in a field of liquidlovelight as their shame and horror of their actions plays in front of them. I wake with images so intense in my heart and am asked to love it all. My friend has been feeling the sorrow of all the victims and working to releasing that. It is on such a massive scale now as the cosmos is poised to transmute it as our earth mother shakes it all off. She is stepping into her stardom and needs us to follow suit. We cannot move into the new trailing chains of pain or shame or sorrow. The doorway is narrow and requires one to drop everything, to surrender completely to the love of the Creator and of one’s own free will, step across.

The old is collapsing as we build the new under our feet with our love and trust.

My soul rejoices for us all! We have made it to here. There is now a firmament to catch our footfall. It may appear only after we have lifted our foot to step in complete trust, but it is appearing! Well done! Well done! Breathe deeply of this new air and allow it to rejuvenate yourself. I can feel my cells and body coming into radiant health. I feel my bones elongating as I will grow taller by a few inches. I have experienced the anxious mind chatter, quiet and a deep peace pervade my being. We have arrived. That is what is important. All the details of where/how/when/ what will be sorted out. Take this moment to feel the balance and peace that this day offers. Pat yourself on the back that you lived to see and feel this day. Peace on earth is real. Claim it in your heart as I do in mine. I love us all so!

Galloping into the Year of the Horse

Posted on January 31, 2014 by lovelylinda

My son, Gabriel’s painting in celebration of the Year of the Horse.

As the year of the horse propels us towards February’s fire and movement, we are being lifted into a new field of love and expansion. I realized that for the past few weeks, I have been dreaming of riding a horse on beaches, through forests and over misty moors. It seems my horse awaits, offering to take me on a journey into realms unknown.

I was chatting with a friend on facebook, sending one another hugs and love when suddenly my eyes filled with tears as I felt him hugging me. It was as if he were physically next to me. We then spoke of horses, with the year of the horse upon us, and he recalled a white stallion that he rode into battles of light and dark, many a time. Suddenly, I find myself astride my own horse, wearing chain mail whose weight I can feel on my body, sword in hand, riding with a company, my friend at my side. We are of elven origin, can feel the fey nature of our beings. It feels like a scene out of the Lord of the Rings! He then types my name, Nooryana, and my body goes into an extreme head nodding confirmation. I feel her enter my being and experience a sense of awe at her beauty and strength. My friend expressed his knowing that we were there when the veils were pulled down and the wonder of being here now, as the veils are being lifted. My body, once again, confirmed this for me.

Our entrance table celebrating this new year.

Everything is blending, time and space shifting. Our hearts are uniting us so that we truly do feel one another across oceans, continents, time and dimensions. Our connection to other aspects of ourselves is strengthening as we open our hearts and bodies to welcome them in. I love Nooryana and today I am going to do some art with a friend, playing with big sheets of newsprint, chalks and crayons to see if the image I saw of her, will emerge on paper. I sense something will appear to deepen the connection.

As we are being asked to enlarge our sense of who we are, I have watched my emotional body react in shuddering waves to a message that came through a dear friend. We were driving in the car, and she was sharing her practice of praying out loud with others, a part of her role as prayer chaplain at her church. I spoke a prayer of gratitude for the gift of her presence in my life and she said she wanted to do the same. What came out was in a different voice, a low tone speaking, “Linda receives her robe and crown and scepter and will now step into her role as a leader of men and women.” We were both astonished as the words were not what her mind had intended. I felt and observed my emotional body go into a tailspin. How could this be about me? How am I to be a leader? Me, who lives such a small, quiet life? The part of myself that seeks to contain, lit up all the roadblocks to this being possible. Yet, I have known for a time, that soon I would be called out into the world. I have heard, “Rest now for the time will come when all will be in motion.” I have sat with this message for three days, allowing it to percolate through my system. I knew I was to share it, not as a form of self-aggrandizement (which my ego self says, oh, yes it is!) but to open the doorway for us all to step more fully into the truth of who we are. In the days following, I was given similar messages from other friends, reinforcing the truth of this.

Truth Trigger resting in her box made by my son.

I believe we are all being called to express our gifts more fully. We are asked to enlarge upon our idea of who we are, breaking free from the conditioning to play small and safe. Hence, there is a need to clear anything that blocks our gifts from coming through. I am being guided to begin offering clearing sessions with the sword, Truth Trigger and Mother Sekhmet. I am a conduit through which she works to clear and shatter limitations. The sword appeared at this time, as she is needed to remove the remnants that block our knowing of the truth of why we are here, now, at this shift of the age. Mother Sekhmet has called me to this work and assured me that those who have need of this work, will be drawn.

Elephants have been showing up for me for weeks. This one appeared in the midst of the redwoods. I love her!

I just read a story of elephants being tethered by rope. Someone inquired as to why the elephants remain when it was apparent that they could snap the rope on their legs with one movement. The trainer explained that the rope had been enough to restrain them when they were infants and once that was internalized, the belief remained, despite it no longer being true. This is such a beautiful illustration of the conditioning that we have accepted as truth about ourselves, often from something we were told as a child. We are adults now, free to break those ropes and be who we choose to be. The sword works to shatter these limiting beliefs and allow ourselves entrance into an expanded knowing of who we are. Of course, we have no need of a sword or anyone to do this. Yet, those comments can lodge in our beings, appearing as huge and frightening beings. In honoring our inner child, we can take someone’s hand as we stand to face these beings. We can let her/him know that they do not have to face it alone, that we have called in help. Our higher selves will orchestrate the right person, sign or situation that we need in order to take the next step on our journey to wholeness. I so appreciate Mother Sekhment’s fierce mother’s love showing up in my life!

I am grateful to be here now. I am ready to expand into more of myself, embracing Nooryana and all others who I open to receive. I calm my ego self and surrender to the Creator’s will for my life. To serve the One is the all. If She/He believes in me, who am I to question that? I will play the part I came to play with all that I am, however large or small that appears to the outside world. In truth, I am shown there is no large or small part……all parts are necessary for the whole. What is necessary, is to fully embody our own roles. Leader of men and women…..bring it on! I have no idea what that looks like or entails, I only have to take the next step in full trust that I am guided and loved. Thank you for daring to take your next step in faith and trust that you are more than you ever dreamed you could be. I love your light and the beauty that we are co-creating on this lovely jewel of the Earth. She is taking her step into stardom and asks us to follow her.

Paintings found at gaberobertsart.com

Birthday Ponderings

Posted on January 22, 2014 by lovelylinda

Dancing with the diamond light.

Today the calender states that I am 58 years old. Throughout my “frumpy forties” , as I called those years of numbness and pain, I had looked forward to my “fabulous fifties”, knowing somehow that those would be my years to shine. Indeed, at fifty, my world as I knew it fell apart, and the journey to myself began. Today, I survey the landscape I stand upon with a smile.

There is no more looking to escape pain, no more closing myself off from joy, no more “duty girl”, trying to please. There is freedom, there is love, there is quietness, there is richness and there is knowing. I know that I am love. After begging for direction from on high for a year and being told, to “be”, I have truly settled into that path and claimed it for my own. I was given to understand that my role in this ascension process was to open a pathway of being. After fifty years of doing, “being” was not anything that I understood. I have anguished over it, rallied against it, judged myself harshly, been judged by others and yet……walked into it with everything I had. Surrendering over and over again to that inner voice’s insistence that this was the way. Trusting even when I was terrified, stepping forward even when I wanted to run back into the known and familiar.

A rope swing in the redwoods inviting me back to jump into its crystal pool.

Just yesterday, a friend shared that I had helped her to let go of judgment. She related that she would find herself judging my path, “Why can’t Linda just settle down and get a job?” (Believe me, for everyone who asked that question, I asked it of myself thousand of times!) Yet she saw me hold my tone of beingness, over and over which she says allowed her to loosen some of her fears of life. If I could live without structure or form, she could trust her own life more fully as well as appreciate the structure her job, groups, and family provide. I so appreciate that she has chosen to remain my friend, despite the fears my path has brought up in her at times.

As I sit here in front of the fire in the hours before dawn, sipping a cup of coffee, hot liquid warming me, I feel so blessed. I am so grateful to myself for listening to Sophia, my I AM presence and finding in her, such a devoted friend. I know that the hard times are over…….and there were many of them in this fifth decade of my life. That is now past as we truly step into the age of Aquarius, my birth sign, my time to shine. All that has led to this moment now fades into completion, a story ended as I am birthed anew.

At times, this path has been stepping into the mist with complete trust.

In this new story, which I begin this day, I am a woman who knows her worth. I am liquidlovelight flowing forth in cascades of dancing colors. I can view all aspects of myself with tenderness. The fact that I do not always show up for others yet do show up for myself, has been a life changer. I can see a middle path arising, where we all show up for ourselves, allowing us to fully be present with one another. I can almost touch Shambhala, its energies seeping into this reality with its joy. I do not know the “how” of creating our new earth. I simply know my tone and choose to sing it as purely as I can. I can hear your tone as well, so beautiful and true. Together, our hearts desiring peace, abundance, freedom and love for all beings on this planet, we are co-creating the new earth.

I am this mushroom, raising its brilliance from the darkness that was.

Last night I spoke with the Creator and dear Sophia stating my sense of completion. I could go home now, mission over or I could begin a new story, take part in a new play. I felt the deep fatigue in my soul, weariness from sloughing through the mud of the old. To rest in the arms of love……oh yes. I was then given a peek behind the scenes to come. Tears fell at the beauty, and I knew I wanted a chance to take part. My mind has its fears; will I have enough money to continue to support myself, where is my place on this earth, will I find my community, my love pod, will I have a home to call my own, will I have a partner…..on and on it questions. My heart pats it lovingly on the head and smiles. I am a beloved of the Creator, I am cared for mightily. There is joy unending awaiting me. This new story has a fairy tale ending created by and for me. I am dreaming it into being with each breath. My heart overflows with gratitude and love for the being that I am as I step into my new life. I embrace each of you in this energy of rebirth and rejoice. Hallelujah! Happy birthday to me, sweet Linda Marie.

Floating in the Mists

Posted on January 12, 2014 by lovelylinda

The mighty redwoods are calling me to come play.

The void, again? I feel as if I am floating in space, no form to hold to, no sense of “me”. The emptiness can feel uncomfortable as nothing seems to touch who I am. Opposing this are moments of complete connection with myself, with Source and the knowing that all is well, all are one and that love is all.

Then back to being a particle floating in the ethers. My body feels uncomfortable, no real pain, simply does not feel that it fits me. It feels heavy and cumbersome, slow and awkward. I want to lay it down and float free in that cosmic sky. In my heart, I know this is all part of the process of finding myself home in every moment. I surrender to it, breathing through it as if through a veil. No desire to do anything. Tired, a fatigue that permeates my cells and thoughts. It is as if I am underwater and it takes too much effort to make that kick to the surface. No, I’ll just float down here. Even with the knowing that life is up there, I feel no motivation to move. Everything that I have experienced in this lifetime, is done. I feel complete with everyone and everything. Nothing holds a spark for me. There is only this suspended space where I float.

I am ready to live in the new earth. There have been moments of being there, sweet moments. I hold the feeling of those moments and the vision of the love pods and the harmony. I can hear the song of souls, basking in their freedom to sing their true note.

It has been such a waiting game as we waited for everyone to come to the knowing that it has been a game that we became caught in, the Matrix indeed. We have had to wait for folks to choose to unplug from that reality as the new play is about to begin. My work is done for this stage and hence the void as I await the new where I am to create. I drift, life reduced to keeping my body comfortable as well as my heart. I awoke and made a fire, I look out at the overcast sky wondering if the moisture droplets in the air will coalesce into raindrops. I am desiring a latte and a croissant…..comfort food. I think of exercise and can’t reach it, my body too heavy to move. I am planning on making a trip tomorrow to see a soul sister. That will take me to Mount Shasta, the redwoods, rivers and the ocean. Perhaps all the natural beauty will shake this malaise. It comes and goes, as moments of joy break through but it feels like having a low grade fever. You are not really sick but you do not feel the vibrancy of wellness. Everything is a bit out of focus. The old is crumbling and I feel the dissolution viscerally. There have been moments of despair as the collective voice feels the extent of the unraveling.

Seeing life through a misty lens.

Fortunately, one of my sons is going with me on this trip. Left to myself, the thought of packing seems daunting at this moment. But pack, I will. And tomorrow at this time we will be driving north, into the cold beauty. I feel myself sitting by a fire with my friend on the full moon, knowing there is power in our communion. I surrender to the desires of my I AM presence and move where she points me. I know myself blessed to have a warm house, good food, and warm hearted folks about me during this stage of the game. I am grateful for it all, even this time that does not engage me. For each day, more are awakening, more are feeling their own God self stirring within. That was the mission and it is being accomplished. I am grateful to have successfully carried out my role.

So, I float until the new play gets up and running. I am ready. There is no fear nor nervousness. This new play is the one I came here to shine in. Until then, I sit in the wings, radiating the light that I AM.

Liquid Love Light

heart whispering, sound healing, writings, art

Tag Archives: surrender