Woke to an old memory, that filled me with shame. I had looked at this memory a number of times over the years. It came looping back as I moved out of my dream state. The heaviness of the shame swept over me. This time it kept going. Like a sudden downpour, it drenched me and then moved off. The sun came streaming out and my being felt lighter. I felt compassion for my younger self, as this was one of the final breaks with my parents as in this memory, I allowed them to dictate terms to me. It did not happen again.
My day flowed from there as if I rode a carpet of sunshine. I felt calm, peaceful, quiet. I found myself singing little rhyming songs to myself. I felt delight in my being. My body felt elegant, enlarged, expanded. I puttered about my place, measuring new old curtains for my bedroom, making food for myself, lying on the couch reading. Of course, the book I chose began with a scene that echoed my shameful one. As if to say……are you now ready to truly move past this? I found I was. The rest of the story was delightful, the enjoyment of eating in Paris and the pleasures to be had in finding a community of kindred spirits. I love stories that bring various folks together to form a family….usually made up of people who never fit in their family of origin.
This relates to my vision of community that has been with me all of my life. For a long time, I carried it as a dreamscape, a resting place for my child heart. In college, I studied utopian societies that had sprung up in the USA and around the world. The concept was written about centuries ago in Sir Thomas More’s “Utopia” and Plato’s “Republic”. Many came into fruition in the mid-1800’s in the USA. Most eventually disintegrated due to internal frictions, poor management or unrealistic standards for living. I then turned to Thoreau’s Walden and Scott and Helen Nearings for examples of how to live a simple life .
On my first date with my former husband, we spoke about our vision of belonging to a community. It led us in later years to Montana where we spent a year living the dream of building the New Jerusalem. That dream crashed and burned and we ended up broke dollarwise and heartwise. It was a great learning experience, which I am sure, many of our forefathers lived as they tried out various communities. I sense that I had lived in such a community and had left heartbroken as it dissolved. Some remain today in our area. The Mennonite and Amish communities are examples of ones that have flourished.
The big learning for me was that the ideal can become corrupted. Organizations spring up around the message of love that the great masters spoke. We all know of the masters; Jesus, Krishna, Mohammad, Buddha, Lao Tzu and many others and how their teachings all spoke of love. Men, less enlightened have turned their messages of love into organizations that inevitably bring distortions as power and control take center stage. That happened in the organization that drew us to Montana. The lie gets embedded in truth and eventually infects everything. Krishnamurti’s words spoke to my heart of not following a path laid out by another, that “truth is a pathless land.”
There are those who walk that Christ light in human form, in these present times. As the planet and her people move through this accelerated evolutionary time, we will begin to know our own light and beauty and walk it on this earth. When we are able to be sovereign in our own beings, no longer looking for rules or guidelines or others to show us the way, we will create communities of light. I know this on a cellular level as I choose to come in with that remembrance of my role in this lifetime.
It is the dream that is imprinted in so many of our hearts, conscious or unconscious. To live a life of peace, of unity, of abundance on every level. Where our intentions are for our highest good and the highest good for all peoples and our mother earth. One and the same. My sense is that the dream is moving closer to the physical plane. I know that I am to live it.
For years, I carried a weight that it was mine to do. I was to help create such a community. I traveled about, searching and being drawn in by anything that spoke of community. It was my Achilles heel and led me into situations for further learning. Many false notes were heard until I let it all go. I was to hold the vision……the creation was not in my hands.
That was the surrender, trusting in the divine plan. Knowing that the communities would come about organically and in divine timing. All a co-creation with others of like frequencies. I have traveled in my dreams, to such places. Everything that you need, is at hand. There is no carrying of luggage or worry about transport. Teleportation, telepathy….are the norm. Folks travel to seed other communities and learn from them. My future self spends time in an arts community, there are as many different communities as there are talents and gifts. I especially enjoy the freedom for the children as that is one of my focus points in this life.
For now, I am enjoying that the lightness and calm are still with me. Savoring this space, intending it for all beings. More and more folks are waking up each day to their own power and beauty, their gifts and talents. Folks are writing out their stories of pain, looking to heal their emotional wounds. Children are being taught how to regulate their emotional state and not internalize pain. The earth is erupting and shifting to release her own pockets of density and pain. A path towards wholeness is opening.
At present, the world wears two different coats. One of fear and darkness and one of love and hope. I choose to wear the lighter one. This I know is a privilege and I do not take it lightly. For those in survival mode, the choice is much more difficult. May this change as we amplify our joy and let it spread.
May our prayers assist all beings to come to know their own beauty, honor their gifts and share them freely. May all beings be cherished and know themselves to be love and loved.