Author Archives: lovelylinda

Feeling with our Mother

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Ice still visible on Lake Windermere

Yesterday we went off to spend some time at a hot springs. The drive through the mountains was beautiful. We took a back road, spotted a hawk sitting on a treetop as we passed, herd of elk and deer at their dinner hour in the fields, ravens about with their loud cry.  We stopped for lunch by a lake and had a wonderful view of an osprey nest on a platform built for that purpose.  Mom and Dad both visited and seemed to be tending something in the nest.

Our lunch time entertainment

We watched as they took turns diving in the nearby pond for fish. What beautiful birds! I loved the way they dropped off the nest and then gracefully opened their wings wide and soared upward. High overhead, two eagles plied the airwaves, doing such an elegant dance that my heart rose up in my chest. It reminded me of that scene in the movie, Avatar, where the lovers are riding huge birds with such speed and delight. Yes, I want to do the eagle dance with my love!

I noticed that something was up with me as my friend and I  split a smoked meat reuben sandwich for lunch. For someone who does not eat much meat, as of late, I have eaten barbecued elk, (delicious!), wild game sausages, and a sirloin burger. My body loved every bite, needing the grounding it gave me. This is one reason I do not define myself by what I eat as my body changes in what she needs day to day. The hot springs had a view of the mountains and the warm waters quickly worked their magic. It was such an enervating effect that we did not stay in very long. We ended the day at a spot by another lake. It was the still time of day, just before the sun sets. All sounds could be heard before the source appeared. We heard this pair of geese long before they came gliding into view to make their soft landing upon the water. A train’s deep rumble hit our ears then quieted as it came into view making its way along the tracks on the other side of the lake. I felt a part of the scene, the mountain reflected in the still surface of the water, the trees standing sentinel on the shore, the rocks under my feet, the cry of the geese. What is my part, I asked of it all.

I have collected so many heart rocks over the years and given so many away. This one wants to stay with me for a time.

To absorb and reflect the beauty and love present. Oh, yes. I can do this. Gathering it all into my heart and sending it out on streams of liquid lovelight. This is part of the alchemical process as we drink in the beauty through our senses and then use our heartlight to magnify and transmit. Oh, what a wonder it all is. Breathe in the peace, breathe it out and use the elementals to amplify it. They love doing this!! Our Mother Earth loves it too. She gifted me with a lovely heart rock on the shore, just the right size to lie on my chest. It told me that it was a keeper, that I am to carry it with me for now. I love the solid feel of it on my chest as I write!

Waves of deep energy running through me during the night. The winds were high, blowing in the window and causing my door to open and shut. I could feel so much running deep down in our mother and me. Again the message to lie still and allow it movement. I did manage to get up for tea and toast and followed the call back to bed. My limbs felt so heavy and I was guided to lie still and let the energy run. Friends emailed about the earthquakes that had taken place deep in the earth in various places. I could feel it in my body. 2pm, I got out of bed to go to my final acupuncturist appointment with the master. He asked me what I wanted his help with now that my body was doing well. That brought up tears. He asked if it was fear of not being able to contain the energy coming in. No, I have faced that fear in the past and truly know that I can expand to accommodate it. No, it was that we are milliseconds away from holding the fullness of our light. Deep breath……everything in me is singing, “The time is now, this is it!!” This makes my heart overflow as it has been such a long journey for us all. With the excitement there is also this deep river running through me of peace, calm, quiet. Two almost opposing emotions all contained herein. He understood and began his magic of connecting needles and points on my body. He told me to watch my mind and see what it had to teach me about being balanced with my spirit and body. I was amazed to see that I love to create fractals of energy in my mind…..it is busy, moving into ever deepening spirals. This time my body took this mind energy and ran it in waves down through me. I could feel it reach my fingertips and toes and then the Earth energy came up to meet it. I flowed it to her, she absorbed it. She demonstrated co-creation with her as together we can create fractals on her, in her instead of me getting caught in mindloops. OH! So this is how I stay balanced. I love this feeling! The master said to lie and savor this feeling as it was me at my best. Balanced, peaceful, whole.

I love this life. I am so grateful to this man who has helped me to be in my body in a new way and keep my mind and spirit  balanced and at peace. (I saw a Tibetan life where we were siblings playing together in the mountains. I know that soon he will be called to spread his wisdom far and wide and my heart is glad.) We are all so connected. Everyone and everything that shows up in our life has something to tell us, gift us, help us. The eagles showed me the dance of love, soaring apart and then together. The hot mineral water relaxed my being, my heart stone calmed, the mountains spoke of enduring strength. I am well prepared for what lies ahead. I am sated. Hear me oh universe, I am grateful!

Please flow love and violet flame about our Mother Earth this night. Hold her in your hearts as she does her work and ask for ease and grace to be with her.

Choosing to See and Speak through the Eyes of Love

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Our Easter lily trumpeting the news of our Christed natures coming in with the resurrection flames. You can almost hear the trumpets sounding!

The days are flying by, I arise, blink and the sun is setting. I feel the movement as slow and deep in my emotional world as layers upon layers are turned over, the tilling of myself so that I may have a prepared bed in which to plant the seeds of my heart’s desire. I am awaking from dream states where I am expressing old emotions. The other morning I found myself trying to get someone to see me. Telling them that I was a big heart player on the earth scene. Wanting to prove my spiritual credentials in some way. Oh, what a painful feeling. I was so glad to awaken and know the freedom of not needing anyone outside of me to show or tell me who I am. Not needing anyone to see me as I now see me. It has been a journey to this place of freedom but the sweetness of the knowing of myself is a nectar that I love.

I sat with a couple of friends the other night for dinner and the discussion turned to the

the beauty of this landscape

Native Americans here in Canada and the USA. It moved into a downward spiral of energy as we talked of the injustices that they have suffered, the problems of alcohol and drugs on the reservations, the loss of their way of life of living on the land…….I awoke the next morning knowing that I had missed an opportunity to raise the conversation to the vibration of love. I had to forgive myself for missing that chance and ask for another. The universe will grant this with so much love. A couple of emails arrived that morning speaking to this issue with such clarity. The first is from a “wise one” whose name I do not know:

“When one focuses on what is wrong, there is judgement upon something, someone..It may be subtle, but it is there, for right or wrong, good bad is a duality experience. To take one’s consciousness beyond duality is important for the raising of vibrational frequency. Whatever vibrational reality you focus on with your light is what will come to you. Do you always want to be fixing things on the planet? Is this your true purpose here on earth? “

Oh, those Rocky Mountains! I am drinking them in with all of my senses. Overdose on your senses today!!

I used to believe that fixing things was my purpose but I am a creator, as we all are. We came to create heaven on earth. To do this, I can see everything through the lens of love. All very well you say, but how do we change things if we do not focus on what is wrong? For me, I believe that the old must collapse like a wave. It is the way of the wave to rise and then fall. All the efforts to stem that fall will be fruitless in the end as it is its nature to collapse. Looking through the lens of love, I can see the perfection of this as well as see the new potentials. Jesus did not come in and try to change his society’s systems. He came and emanated his light which is what created a shift of such immense magnitude.

“Remember what even Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem on the level of the problem.” You must lift it up through the resonance of your heart. You must become the source of magnetic power. You must place your creative focus, beloved ones, on what you want not on what you don’’t want. These things you already know. What you don’’t realize is that the world of Love is more Real than the world of illusion, and that the power of your hearts is far, far greater than the power of your ego or your little mind.

If you shift to your heart, then you serve the world in the most powerful way, by being the power of Love, by remembering that only Love truly exists, and that by changing the vibration in which you live, YOU CHANGE EVERYTHING. And it is done from the LEVEL OF THE SPIRIT. It is not done from the level of the world.”

There Are No Separate Hearts. The Messages from God, Circle of Light

through Yael and Doug Powell at Circle of Light www.circleoflight.net

I thanked the universe and friends for sending me the words that I needed to shift to love.

An eagle soaring over head, taking me with him/her for a beautiful flight. I am so free!

After all, what is created from a conversation like the one I engaged in? It stirs up feelings of anger, hopelessness, despair. What of beauty is created from that? Again it goes back to accepting all as it is, trusting that all is part of the divine order. We do not fight against, as that keeps us playing in the fields of duality. We are moving to unity consciousness where all are/is one. We envision that which we desire. I want Native Americans and all people to live lives of abundance and freedom. I honor my Native American friends for the wisdom they hold as I expect to be honored for the wisdom I bring. We have all been every race, lived lives of lack as well as plenty, wielded power with a heavy hand, as well as with justice. I want to live in a world without labels where we recognize that we are all part of the rainbow tribe that has come to co-create with our beautiful Mother Earth. It is time to drop the labels that divide and become one people intent on creating the paradise that our hearts know so fully.

A 400 year old family barn, taken apart in Germany, crated and brought here to BC to become the home and restaurant of some newly made friends. I love how creative we all are, sharing our gifts. This couple bringing the Alps to BC, connecting the two lands.

Do you see how exciting this is? To see everything that comes into your world, as an opportunity to see it in love. To see a friend’s pain and open your heart wide enough to hold it all in love, not judging it as good or bad, simply surrounding it all in love. It takes all of me to do this. I fall down, I forget and revert back to the ego and duality. But I return, by the grace of God, more quickly these days, to the truth of love. Our hearts are here for this, they are conduits of love. We can live this love each day and as my world begins to reflect only love, I help create that reality for all. Can it be this simple? Yes though it is not a simple thing to hold to this love. You must reach deep and see through the eyes of the heart when the illusion is grasping to hold you in duality’s grip. Let go, soften your heart and focus and this world will shine with your heartlight….yes, you can wear your rose colored glasses. Rose is the color and the power of love. I love you all more than words can express. The ribbons of my heartlight entwine your hearts and I feel your beauty.


Here is to Easter and the Resurrection Flames

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Just took this out my bedroom window. I love its light streaming in to light up my heart with greater love.

What a weekend we are in! Good Friday and the full moon….what a potent combination of Christed light and love. I felt the energy of my own Holy Christ Self as well as that of Jesus, the Christ. We are being gifted with such an immense outpouring of love from our sun and our moon as well as from all the ascended, angelic, Agarthan and Galactic realms. Our beings are stretching and straining to grow, to reach towards the light of our own divinity. I had an interesting dream the other night that was the sequel to the sacred marriage experience that I had back in October. It began in an awake state, one that I sometimes enter where I find myself in a different dimension. It then continued on throughout my sleep state and was so delicious that I did not want to awaken the next morning.

It opened with me talking to El Morya, the ascended master of God’s will that you have heard me speak of. I was telling him that I was ready for the sacred marriage now. I had integrated more of myself and felt confident that I could now bear to see the face of my beloved and complete the marriage. Earlier, I had been so overcome with the emotion of it all that I could not look at his face. This time, I told El Morya that I was ready, I asked for my crown and cloak as well as the symbols of my office. Archangel Michael was there and laughed at my demanding tone, saying, “I do believe that she is ready!” My requests were quickly meta so dressed in my finery, I took El Morya’s arm and proceeded down the aisle. (Yes, I could just pick up where I left off months ago in this dimension….pretty cool!) When we reached the end of the aisle, I looked for my bridegroom only to have El Morya release my arm, turn to face me in the position of the bridegroom. What? I asked him what this meant. Could it be that he was my beloved? I blurted out, “But you are an ascended  master!” To which he replied, ” As are you, my dear.” Gulp. Breathe deep and swallow that down! Ok, I was determined to be able to hold the allness of myself, to be present with this moment, to accept the truth of his statement. I did not dissolve in tears though they flowed. As did laughter. Oh what freedom! Yes, my ascended master self was standing at the altar with his ascended master self. This means that an aspect of him can be here in 3d with me just as an aspect of me is there in this other realm, with him. As I said, a lot to absorb!

This brilliant white mountain peak speaks to me each day.

As the night wore on, El Morya took me on a journey through the cosmos which was wonder filled. Believe me, this was the honeymoon of lifetimes. I did not have one in this lifetime but this more than made up for it! I was shown so many mysteries and magic. My heart was so full and I wanted to bring it all back to share. But the images and knowings departed, leaving me with a sense of loss and at the same time a feeling of bliss. Wow! I do remember laughing at how we live on this tiny thread of life and are not aware of this huge tapestry that we are a part of. We see everything in a limited, linear form but it is circular and fractal in nature and one can plumb every increasing depths of everything. It was like an explosion for my mind and heart to comprehend. The beauty unending remains. Oh, what a night!

I was so happy when I discovered a bridge to take me across this creek to a pathway beside it.

I awoke knowing that it does not matter if El Morya or an aspect of him is my beloved. The form is of little importance, it is the essence that matters. I know that my beloved is close as I am moving ever closer to holding more of my own essence in this earthly vessel. There is magic and beauty that we have not even dreamt of in our wildest dreams. Passion like a volcano erupting awaits us.

 

Back on earth…my back is uncomfortable and I am still moving slowly. I am trusting this process, observing my reactions to the restriction I feel and offering a space of love for it all. I was guided to walk into an acupuncturist’s office who calls himself an electrician. He is working to realign my circuitry. He said I was running too hot, frying my nerves, living in my head and the realm of Spirit. He helped me to ground back into the earth and is teaching me how to create a strong foundation from which to move. I am to walk with my hands behind my back at every opportunity, as it realigns my spine. I am to saunter rather than maintain my usual swift speed. I am grateful for all of this at this time when we are

Piles of snow remain but today's sunshine uncovered patches of earth.

asked to hold ever increasing amounts of light in our beings. I have neglected this beautiful body elemental in the past couple of years of traveling. Time for honoring once again with a regular exercise routine that includes yoga and strengthening. A lovely German woman that I met was demonstrating her daily routine that included 20 minutes of standing in a seated position against the wall. You have your back flat against the wall and your knees at a 90 degree angle (or you can go lower as you get stronger). She said it helped with hiking. Well, yeah! Of course it does, it gives you legs of steel if you do that every day! Mind you that was one of her daily exercises, she was a strong, beautiful woman. Ok, that is me in the coming summer! I am committed to helping this body in any way I can. My eyes filled with tears when I thought of all that she is doing to allow me to ascend while still in her. Truly it is an amazing event that is happening within us, changing from carbon based to crystalline.  I asked her forgiveness and flooded her with waves of my love.

Our spirits and our bodies are being resurrected. As Jesus said, “I AM the resurrection and the light.” I am going to sleep with those words playing in my heart. I am so grateful for Jesus’ gift to us this Easter night. His love along with Mary Magdalene (who is also a Christed being) lit up the planet over 2000 years ago and it is lighting up my heart this night and the hearts of millions. I found myself singing a beautiful song, new sounds coming from deep in my heart which flowed love throughout my being. Oh, how we are loved. Blessed be. I love us all.

 

Back Issues deepening the Divine Masculine/Feminine Balance

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A view out over this beautiful small town.

April is proving to be a month of movement on one level or another. I awoke yesterday morning quite early but did not get up for hours as I was guided to lie still and allow what was taking place. It felt like a river of energy was running through me, it flowed from head to foot with an amping taking place at my heart. I heard, “Be still and allow. This is your work right now.” It had a different quality to it than most energy I run. It was deeper and lasted far longer. I finally had to get up and use the bathroom. I then went to take a shower and my lower back gave out. I had not had this happen in ages and was surprised at the severity of it. I thought, oh, so you wanted me to lie there longer! Movement in a different way…inner energy moving, outer body forced to lie still.

At one point in the day, the clouds lifted and this mountain came into view. This is just what is happening with us, the veils are lifting and we are beginning to see our own majesty! Aren't we awesome!

The pain and spasms in my back increased as the night wore on. I knew that there was more happening than simply the physical experience. A dear friend responded to my message for help. She did a distance healing on me. She saw that I needed to allow support from Mother Gaia to enter my root chakra and flow upward. I had been flowing all that energy down into her core that morning and it needed to be balanced. My friend saw Archangel Michael fill the center of my being and point his sword down through to the center of the earth. I began to sob at this as I could feel him in my body. Then she and I both laughed as she saw all the angels filling the space about me. They are so delightful! Another friend that called (I love my friends who have different gifts than I and so willingly share them with me) and saw Archangel Michael’s energy and sword as the divine masculine flowing through to meet the divine feminine of Mother Gaia. My body vibrated the truth of this as she felt that I had experienced much pain from the masculine in this lifetime and if I could bring it back into balance, I would open the pathway wider for those with similar pain. Through the lessons and experiences that we chose, we can work to bring balance once again. I must forgive myself and all others and release the energy back to love. It is the time of the balancing of the masculine and feminine energies on the planet.

The clouds teach me to flow with the streams of energy.

The other aspect of this back pain is clearing my cellular memories of all trauma from this and past lifetimes. The tooth issues that I had recently clears ancestral memories. The lower back is our feeling of being supported in this world. That has been a theme in this lifetime of not being supported and having to do it all myself. My body has to clear these  memories in order to fill with more light. The past two nights I have had vivid dreams of feeling victimized related to this life. I awoke shocked at the violence of my emotions. Rage on a scale that I have not felt in years and years. In my dreams, I am acting out that rage in a terrifying way. Yikes! I am grateful that these emotions are clearing in the dream space and that I can call in the violet flame to transmute them. But wow! No wonder folks are acting out their fears in forms of aggression. We have been subjected to such manipulation and lied to on so many levels. Now we must forgive ourselves for allowing all that has transpired and forgive all who brought these lessons to us. Our hearts know that love is the only answer to everything.

I am testifying that we are experiencing things for the collective. Our actions on the outer physical reality are only one layer of what is truly taking place. I offer myself each day as a vessel for the Creator to use for the highest good of all. (not my will but Thine be done). That includes my highest good as we can no longer create with only our own interests in mind. Unity consciousness demands oneness, win/win scenerios, for the good of all. Today I am better, walking upright, able to stand and lay down……sitting is still difficult. I spent the day quietly, lay in the sunshine streaming in the windows and watched the clouds drift by. I am embracing the notion of resisting nothing. Of accepting all with grace and gratitude. I want to move out of using my mind to express gratitude and into my heart space where I emanate gratitude. Gratitude for breathing this crystalline air, for being in a body (I do so love and honor this body for all the pain she has been through of late!) and mostly for being present for the grandest experiment of the ages, this shift into unity consciousness on planet earth. How blessed I am! I want to breathe that feeling of blessedness in and out day and night. To let go of good and bad and be present with a grateful heart for all. The back pain, the energy I am privileged to run, the beauty out the window, my friend who has cared so dearly for me, the receiving of that help.

April is the month where we are given more support to own more of our own power. Lena Stevens writes a lovely article about this at  http://www.thepowerpath.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=421:april-forecast-2012&catid=17:monthly-forecasts&Itemid=65

The sun piercing through the clouds as my own I AM presence is piercing through my ego self. Faint but glowing brighter every day!

My healer friend saw a flame of light surge out from my solar plexis and felt that this symbolized a new level of owning my power coming into play. (the solar plexus is our power center). I concurred as I am being shown more and more each day, who I truly am. It is a lot to take in and can feel overwhelming, hence my frequent bouts of tears as my personality self tries to absorb the fullness of my being that is entering in. We are alchemists, magicians, masters, goddesses, priestesses and so much more. It is time to celebrate these aspects of ourselves and open to our gifts. We each carry a piece of the puzzle from Home that will ensure that we create heaven on Earth. It is time to come together to lay our pieces on the board. So look inside your heart and see your gifts and get ready to give them to the world. Believe in the unique beauty of your gift and KNOW deep in your heart, that no one else carries your puzzle piece. And we all know how frustrating it is when the puzzle is almost complete but a piece or two is missing. All must bring their piece for the beauty to be revealed. Yes, this means you! You carry within you something so precious that none can duplicate. Isn’t that a wonder? I stand in awe of my gifts as I do yours. Let us share and create this beautiful world of peace, abundance, harmony and love for all.

 

Connecting to a New Landscape…Happy April!

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St. Mary's Lake in its winter splendor

Happy April! I know that time is an illusion yet while we still play in its fields on some levels, I find a new month offering new opportunities. March was an exhausting month as the energies pretty much flattened us. We were integrating like mad all the new codes that came streaming in from our dear sun and releasing and clearing all that was stagnant and stuck in our inner beings. April rushes in like a breath of spring, ready to move us into a new inner landscape of freedom and love. I am delighted to find myself in a new outer landscape of snow and mist and rain. My Avalon self is happy! The freshness of the air coming off the mountains is so intoxicating. It is my form of getting high, no side effects other than getting a little giddy! I am sitting here looking out at a clear sky this morning which allows the mountains to come into view for the first time since I arrived. Oh, my heart is being fed!

Straw bale building to house the generator. It will be plastered in adobe when weather permits.

Last night I went to a potluck gathering with my friend. We went out to St. Mary’s lake where a community of folks are building their dream. My friend will begin building on her parcel of land this summer. It was great to see the mix of ages, young and old, all so full of an adventurous spirit, so appreciative of the beauty that they have chosen to live in. It is a slice of heaven. As I sat and watched a woodpecker visit the pine cone stuffed with peanut butter on the deck, the shifting clouds filling and then emptying the valley laid out in front of me, the dear hearts sharing food around the table, little ones making their way through the maze of adult legs with their trucks and toys, tears coursed down my cheeks. My heart’s desire so beautifully expressed. I drank it all in, feeding that place that is so ready to be in community with my pod of peeps.

Can you see the solar panel positioned against the rocks to catch the sun which is abundant here?

Trusting in divine timing, in the ability of my heart to create form from the formless. Knowing that this is coming for me and to me. Appreciating the joy of these folks as they are in the thick of it. Living in basements as they build the ground floor of their homes, one couple with a circular house with views all about, beautiful functional woodwork and design in the home we were at…..sensing the hard work and determination of each family to create with the land. There were solar panels and straw bale buildings in evidence, the valley has an east west lie which allows a longer growing season explained one man who told me he was still eating potatoes that they had grown last season. The land and the people radiated such joy!

Mist drifting across the lake

I had a conversation with the founder of this whole enterprise, a German who had traveled here with his wife to discover his own Shangra-li. He said he could see that I had wisdom to share and wondered how I was doing that in the world. I told him that I wrote a blog. His comment alerted me that the time is coming to move out into the world more to share my heartlight. He commented on my balance and strength but then said, “You are too soft, too open. You need protection.” A lovely sentiment from the masculine whose role is to protect and defend. I told him that I had plenty of practice in swinging my sword but that now my heart’s softness and light is all the protection that is needed in these new energies. Indeed, a facebook friend of mine, Nicky Hamid, expressed it so beautifully this morning: “We no longer need to protect our heart and so it is the dissolving of shields and the embracing of all that we are. Moving from isolation to integration.”

Another view from the deck.

My heart is flying free this morning in the clearness of the light and views. The fresh air is gently wafting in from the open window into my room, hot cup of tea at hand. Time to make breakfast and watch the day unfurl. A person last night commented, “Who needs a tv out here, we have an ever changing view of sky and mountains and water.” I concurred. I could feel the bliss of lying by the huge windows and gazing out at the majesty of the scene with such appreciation and gratitude. As we feel that, wherever we happen to find ourselves, we do indeed create heaven on earth. I know that I can hold that vibration of appreciation anywhere but here it is effortless as the beauty spills out before me. I am soaking it in for all of you and streaming it out through my heart ribbons. Can you feel it? I love you all with each breath.

Up and Down and All Around

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My first connection with the land here in Kimberley, British Columbia. The snow is wet so no snow angels today but I created a heart that I can view from my friend's balcony.

I am sitting in the airport in Seattle, looking out at the rain. I had two hours of sleep last night as it took me so long to sort and pack and finish cleaning the house where I was staying these past two months. My brain turns to mush as decision making is upon me. What to pack? How to fit in snowboots, snowpants, down coat, gore tex hikers for the rain and warm clothes?? I want my art supplies, how to pare it down. Ok, no paints, only colored pencils and markers for now. Big case packed and was over by two pounds, move it to carry on, now that is too heavy. Back and forth. It had begun the day before with anxious energy running through me as I prepared to leave my floaty dream space. I felt waves of sadness, waves of uncertainty. I could find nothing to hold to. I am traveling to stay with a member of my soul family that I met on facebook.  I was guided to fly, leaving behind the security my car provides as a means of independence and a home base of sorts. I have no return ticket, as I was guided that I will know the next step when I need to and that time is not now. I am on a “need to know basis.”

A friend explained it as moving from form to formless. That fit in as we are so used to orienting ourselves according to a place, a dwelling, a person’s form. The external to give us a framework to move against. I felt this when it seemed that my children and I had transitioned. As if we had crossed over and now saw one another as pure streams of energy, not dependent on our forms to communicate. This can be a scary place with no handholds or it can be exciting! As soon as she said form to formless, I could feel the energy of it. All the creativity that is unleashed as we create form in a new way.

This was a mural in San Fran on a school. I like the steps, numbers moving up and down and the geometric figures. Why this wants to be a part of this blog....who knows?

Last night, my mind went retrograde and began its story of how there was something wrong with me as I did not know how to pack “light”. If I knew how to do that, turn snowboots and hikers into collapsible forms, get on the plane with only a carry on, I would be an ok person. As it was, I was defective. Wow, it went on a virulent rampage which only worsened as the night wore on. It also asked just what I was doing?? Going off again to a remote location when I could stay in comfort and ease. Finally, I lay down and drifted into my heart land. Ah…..that felt better. I think that I am sleep deprived today so as to float along on this long day of travel. A beautiful white heron flew by as my son drove me to the airport. I commented on its whiteness which felt like purity to me. As I lay down to nap here at the airport, I connected into his wisdom and asked what he wished to tell me. He said that as I flap my wings, which he admitted took some energy and momentum, I rise higher and higher until I can soar with no effort. The flame of purity was alight in my chest as I heard his words. I have leaped, the packing and movement from the known to unknown, has been the flapping. and I can feel the energy of soaring in front of me.

My last bouquet of lilies in Sacramento. The richness of the color, the flirty curve of the petals... I almost felt embarrassed by the rawness of their sensuality. But instead these flowers helped me embrace my inner fire that has been dancing of late!

We are moving into this oneness and there is no road map. We have stepped away from the old new age ways and are having to learn this new navigation system. It is all about energy. Another friend said that she believed that if everyone took full responsibility for their own energy field, we would be living in the new land. To be conscious of what energy you are bringing into a room, into a conversation, into every space that you move throughout the day. It takes a high degree of consciousness and attunement. And it takes energy as we get used to it. As the heron said, the flapping the wings bit is exhausting compared to what it feels like to soar. That so fits with how I feel these days. I am giving all of me to this process and though on the outer it looks like stillness, on the inner I am giving everything I have to stand in this body and radiate my heartlight.

As I was moving through this formless place, a friend and I spoke of the energy of May we are both feeling. It felt we may come together then and find a place to share in Sacramento. She was delighted that I had found that I was now comfortable in that area and I was delighted with the idea as it was a form that I could hang onto. Even as we talked, we both laughed as we knew anything could happen but for now it provided us both with a sense of comfort. It gave me a marker in the blank future, placed there for my emotional body to lean on when I am in need of it. Oh, I love the dearness of me! I find myself at times, envying folks who put out plans for events in the future..such as announcing a workshop in June. Wow, I think, that is amazing! I see myself doing that in the future but as yet, am not in a space to plan anything as I have to remain fluid on every level. So..allowing this marker for the moment, not attaching but sighting it ahead as I once again move in the stream.

Flight is called, off for the next little jaunt up to Vancouver…..50 minutes and then another wait time until the inland flight. All is well, I am taking my little leaps, touching down and resting and then leaping once again.

View out the front window as the mists cleared and the mountain came into view.

Landed, conversation by the fire, followed by a long sleep. Today a walk in the sun and fresh air, to the market for food, cooking lots of deep green vegies, long nap, and here it is evening with the fire once again. Feeling a deep peace with the land, the air off the mountains is enlivening. There is something here for me. I love the fun of discovery.

Emptied Out and Filled Anew

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shining our heartlights

Alone once again. My daughter and her partner are on their way to their new life in New Zealand. My daughter called just before their plane departed with news that she had received a text message from a former love from years ago. He apologized for how he had treated her and wanted to express his love.  She was able to text him back to thank him. The universe is a place of grace. That her number is the same was amazing after all these years as after tonight, the number will be obsolete as she will get a new phone in her new land. So for that message of healing to come at the eleventh hour, as it were, incredible! It is a confirmation to me of how hearts are softening everywhere and the universe is doing its work. We are being gifted with so much love and healing light. What a blessing to know that this young man had found healing. Isn’t it what we want for everyone? For those who caused such pain and were in such pain, to find their way to healing themselves and reaching out to express the love that was there. For all of us to clear our relationships with everyone in our lives, past and present. I am so grateful for the healing that has taken place with my former husband. There are still a couple of folks that I would love to receive a text from as my daughter did but I hold them in heart light and know that the river of love is there and flowing, whether I receive confirmation or not.

Another beautiful experience today came when my daughter and her partner were at the phone store to end their contracts. They had been told to bring the work contract from New Zealand and sign off on their phone service. It was not going as planned and they were being told that they could not end the contract. My daughter texted me about the delay and problem. I texted back that I was calling in the angels to smooth the way for quick resolution. Her partner was then approached by the store manager who had been called and his name was……guess!  Angel, of course! He resolved the issue to everyone’s satisfaction and then my daughter shared with her partner,  her text messages with me. He was amazed. The universe can be that literal in responding to our calls for assistance!

Sitting on the trunk and looking up afforded a new perspective......as we have as we look at our family tree anew.

Our days were so full. They felt dreamy, like we were all moving through some heavy energetic resistance (sudden fevers and illnesses that were short lived) as we moved into this space of heartlight and healing. All outer planned activities and get togethers with others dropped away. There was a sense that we were on this ship together, moving in our own land. There was only the togetherness and the essence of love.  Tonight I feel the emptiness after our days of togetherness. Yet it feels deeper than simply saying goodbye as we travel in different directions. We have done that many times over the years.  I feel that we have let go on another level as we came together in our hearts. The heart healing allowed us to let go more fully. When there exists a deep pain, there remains an energetic connection that is stagnant. When the love flows freely, the connection is of a different sort all together. It comes from wholeness, from sovereignty where each is free in their own space. The connection is one that allows fluidity and movement and ribbons of heartlight to flow freely back and forth. For my family, beautiful tapestries of light can now be woven as there are new colors and textures to create with. When another shuts down their heartlight, it does not mean mine cannot still flow. Indeed,  it does. But I feel the weight of pain in the other not loving themselves enough to forgive their actions and my heart would ease it. So, I close my eyes and send my heartlight streaming in gentle colors and soft textures to soothe their inner child. No love is ever lost and when the person is ready, that lovelight is waiting there to assist them to prime the pump of love so that it flows freely in their heart once again. My soul rejoices tonight in the healing of the heart of this young man from the past. It goes out to all who have yet to feel the comforting balm of the Creator’s love embrace them. My heartlight is a stream from the Creator and as I have felt His/Her healing love, I have come to know how it is a never ending stream that is a blessing to experience. I understand how unnatural it is to stop the flow and the pain that causes. To be in wonder at the peace and joy that I feel as it flows freely through me. Oh, we were made to love! To give love, to pour it forth with each heart beat.

Pulled this image from facebook and could not locate source so thank you to whomever's image this is. It so clearly expresses how I feel right now. So empty and yet full......poised between worlds.

There is such magic afoot tonight as I sit here in the stillness. I feel that I am looking out into a new landscape. It is a blank canvas waiting to be filled. I stand here in appreciation of this moment between worlds. I have let go of all that I have known up until this point in this lifetime……let it go with such love. Almost as if we have all made our transition, letting go of our connections and way of knowing one another in this life, the roles that we played. There is no looking back, no reaching with any part of me. I am standing looking forward into the abyss of space. I am poised to take my first step into the new with a full heart. And I pause to savor this point……this betwixt and between point. My heart is bursting with the sacredness of it all, the awe at the perfection of the plan for our souls. I breathe deep and vibrate with the lovelight running through. Here I go……..

Hearts Healing

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These branches reminded me of our family, how we branched off years ago with the divorce and have now found our way back together. We no longer form a perfect circle yet there is a solidness to the joining that has its own beauty.

Family clearing took place. It has been an interesting journey as a week or two ago some information came to me in a dream that was disturbing. I processed it through the days and observed it uncoil as various layers of emotions moved through me. I was surprised to discover that I did not feel a need to make my truth known to anyone else, but rather that it was my journey to uncoil the issue within myself. As I let go of something that would have devastated me formerly, I saw that it opened the field for healing for the others involved. It was not for me to present my perception of truth to them, rather to do my inner work and shine the light of love on all. My energy field then contains this information but in a soft, light filled way. It is there to be accessed if the others are ready. My healing it, heals it on so many levels that the others may never have to bring it to consciousness. At least that is how it feels right now. It amazes me that this may be possible! Truly we are in a new landscape. I do not claim to understand how it works but I feel it so clearly. There is the unwinding, the letting go, the emotions given free reign to move through. The light of day shines in and when the others are near me, it informs something in them. It is some kind of alchemy though I know not how to explain it only that I can feel that it is working. And that it is magical.

This tree offered me a viewfinder that showed me a new perspective. if I look through a new lens, I can see things in a new way. I love how the top branch forms a heart!

My former husband took the door opened by my sons, to step into a new relationship with us all. He and I went for a walk to see if we could find a place of resonance in our hearts. There was a moment when I got up from the bench where we were sitting, ready to leave. It felt like we were sinking in mud and I did not want to be there. But grace entered in, our higher selves prevailed and common ground was found. A hawk, ( my totem bird) flew low over our heads, in a slow flight offering us a clear view of his beauty. I thanked him for affirming that I was on the right path as was my former husband. A bridge was created that we could meet upon. We then met with our three adult children. It was the first time in years, that we had all been alone together. There were tears and laughter. We made food and sang our family blessing and felt the grace. We affirmed the love that is there. It was a beautiful first step towards reconciliation. I had prayed to each of our higher selves to intervene on our behalves, that we might take the highest road possible. I had asked to generate such love in my heart, that my former partner felt safe. He called the next morning to say those words back to me…..that he had felt protected and safe to speak his truth with our children by my love. That was a huge gift. I felt so proud of each one of us. I felt such compassion for who we had all been and all that we had endured together and on our own. My former partner asked me what I thought had happened and I replied, ” Magic, it is simply magic and grace. ” We are being gifted with streams of love from the sun, from the Creator. Streaming down to open our hearts wide open. To let go of all the pains and sorrows and heartaches. To let the love burn through all the past and allow us to live fully in the present without fear.   It allows each of us to be more sovereign in our own space and to move out into the world as more whole beings. My daughter leaves in a couple of days to begin a new life half way around the world. She leaves with a greater sense of wholeness and a stronger foundation from which to step from. We are being blessed with this deep clearing so that we are free to move into the spring time and plant the seeds of our new lives.

A herd of deer, grazing so peacefully. They are so dear as are we! We want to be loved and accepted by our herd and move in peace with one another.

I feel the oneness growing, the hearts opening, the shift happening. There are starts and stops. Tonight we were all together again and triggers came up for me. Breathe in love, breathe out triggers. That felt so difficult, nie on impossible for a few of those moments. Knowing that to reach for love was my heart’s desire yet the patterning was deep. The triggers showed me the old patterns of fear and where I needed to more fully embrace myself. Good, I thought, let them come. It takes time to align to the new, to reset the synapses in our brains to travel new pathways. I am gentle with myself and offer that gentleness to the others. We are all doing so well, each baby step is to be celebrated. We are trying a new dance step. Some of the old steps come in and we have to adjust and make allowances and begin anew with one another. How dear we all are! I am embracing tonight some pettiness that surfaced, some feelings of not being seen, of being cast as the polarity of seriousness. I am embracing each one’s point of safety and knowing that to push without regard to timing, can be a dangerous thing. I am allowing the flow in the place where I used to direct and control. I am breathing in ease when I felt contraction come. I am staying present to the whole spectrum without holding to a former position of polarity.

I love how the sky plays with the clouds, making new configurations throughout the day. I want to play with everyone in my life in this way, seeing the beauty in each new aspect of coming together.

The other big piece in this, was owning my divinity. I will no longer play small.  We are trained to not “blow our own horns”, not to speak highly of ourselves, not to boast. It is considered polite to downplay one’s beingness. If we speak up and claim our mastery, it can come across as self aggrandizement.  I chose to claim mastery where I have it. I demanded that the divine feminine in me, be recognized and honored if there was to be a bridge built.  I would not accept further ridicule and harassment. The divine masculine in my former husband did step in and bow to the divine feminine. This was the key to healing. This is what was needed for the foundation to be created. I am so grateful that this took place for myself, for my children, for my former husband, for the planet.

It is time on this planet for the divine feminine to be honored for her gifts. This is what will create peace on earth. I am grateful that our family unit took this step. I am grateful for all the hearts opening to this recognition, women for once again honoring themselves and their gifts and men for honoring the women in their lives and the feminine in their hearts. We are all coming into balance and it is a beautiful thing to behold.

Happy Spring! Good Enough to Eat

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Little flower cakes that were to complement a silver tea set at the art gallery.

Spring has sprung and the sun got the message this morning and is shining his way through the clouds. I feel that I can eat this liquid lovelight that is flowing in just like these little fairy cakes. Yum! I am looking forward to living on lovelight. I have always felt that we were meant to be living on sunlight and air. Think of drinking in the beauty of a daffodil in full bloom, taking a bite out of a cloud. I am so ready for the magic.

This tom turkey was strutting his stuff on one of my recent walks. I love how the sun caught his back feathers in the glowing light.

The changes have continued at warp speed as we move into this new land. I felt a wave of sadness yesterday. I let the tears flow, less concern these days as to their cause, more desire to fully feel all that comes up in my heart. We are letting go on so many levels, it is not necessary nor easy to discern what is at play. I exist so much of the time in the new realm, whole days can pass with me playing with the energy of my heart, creating the world that I am to inhabit. There are so many hearts playing with mine, co-creating the wonder and magic. The love is the paintbrush, as well as the fabric it all lies upon. There has been a sense of aloneness to the journey as we have been creating from our separate places where we have been asked to anchor our light. Soon, we will begin to come together on this physical plane as we do on the etheric planes.

Once you clear out space in your emotional body, there is a peace that descends that allows for stillness and joy in the non-doing. I see so many rush about as I used to, it feels so foreign to me now just as my beingness feels odd to so many. I have little preference for how my days unfold as little charges me one way or the other. The irritations, impatience, desires have quieted…..and I allow myself to flow. I trust implicitly that all that I need will flow to me. I will be guided as to where to be and any actions that I need to take. My mind no longer functions in the old way as I have surrendered into no mind. My heart guides and the universe responds by opening the paths.

The freedom to be free of fear is a blessing that I acknowledge with joy. No longer concerned with how others see me, with what my purpose is, with doing good, with participating in the outside world, with how many friends I have or which ones have come or gone, with how much money I have left, with concerns about whether my body is heavy or light at the moment, with where will be the next place I land, with where my community is,  where my place on the earth is……. The list goes on and on. I live in total freedom! It is the most beautiful place on the planet. Once there, all the rest is of little consequence. It matters not where I live, who surrounds me, what makes up my days. All of it is beautiful! I feel so full of grace and love. Blessed beyond measure.

I have a dream that moves with me and in me. My heart is creating it as I breathe. Every

The native redbud trees are in bloom. I love them as their fuschia pink color matches my heart light!

person on the planet has a pod, a group, a community that they resonate with and belong to. It is the place where folks are overjoyed to see you, where you are acknowledged for your gifts, where you are loved unconditionally and where you feel a deep sense of belonging and of home. It is your place of peace. I know that this time is coming for all of us and my heart plays day and night in this vision. A little bird just landed on a branch outside the window I am near and began singing his heart out to me. What a confirmation of heart light! So sweet……this is the new way. We acknowledge one another, not simply our brother and sister humans but the animals and plants and all of nature. We are in tune with one another and flow that love back and forth effortlessly. He came to sing the truth of my thoughts to me and I responded by speaking and feeling my appreciation to him. Delight!

In this new energetic landscape,  we no longer need others to participate in trying to make our dream a reality. I can lie on my couch, dreaming and all who are part of this dream, will be brought to me and I to them. It truly is that magical! We will be drawn together by our vibration, our heartlight and co-create out of pure joy. Money is not the currency we will use, it is heartlight, pure and radiant. Oh……I have seen myself laughing with the joy of this new way for months now.

Time for a walk to anchor in these new moon energies as a day has passed since I began this post. A huge healing of hearts happened last night in my family……my former husband stepping up and opening his heart. I will write of that grace tomorrow. For now, savor the new beginnings that this moon gifts us with and dare to dream big!!

 

Feeling our Mother

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I have posted this painting of mine before but as I look at it today it has new meaning. I am feeling this intense energy of our Mother. She is unwinding her coils of stuck energy, just as we have been.

I just checked and it has only been three days since I lasted posted. It feels so much longer. Much healing has occurred. As I completed the recent emotional journey, my body went into its journey. I have had a bad cold, me who has not had a cold in years. I have read reports that flu like symptoms would become prevalent as we reset our bodies’ workings. I had gone with my younger son to San Francisco for the day to see the annual flower show at the art gallery where arrangements are made to interpret a particular painting. It came on the heels of a mostly sleepless night. The drive took an extra hour due to fierce rains. The crowds were enormous despite being a weekday. After a couple of hours, we were fried and decided to head home. My body began to feel worse and worse. Fortunately my son decided to spend the night. There is such comfort in knowing that someone is there when we are ill, even if we do not call upon them, we feel their presence.  I almost woke him at one point as I was in such pain. My cells felt like they were on fire. It was very intense. By morning the head and chest joined in for a full blown cold. I was shown a picture of the energy stream we created as we drove there and back and mingled with the throngs. It was another confirmation that if you feel an impulse to do something…trust it. Logically it did not make sense to go that day…..the rain storm, the fatigue but on some other level, it was just right. It was important. Trust is the name of the game for me.

We saw these flowers in red, green and this vibrant yellow! Amazing

We are all doing so much clearing. I am clearing my energy field so as to be a better transmitter or conductor for the pure lovelight that is flowing into the planet. That way, I can hold and move more liquidlovelight…yes it is real stuff! No accident about that name coming to me. I am meant to allow it to flow with ease through my body. This recent emotional and physical cleanse, clears the channel so that it is in better working order. I can feel the earth as she is in the throes of her birthing pains. She has 7 billion of us on her, each carrying their weight of issues. When you are weighed down with fear and anger, (at others but mostly at yourself)  you are a weight that she would like to throw off. For all who have gone through childbirth, you might recall the way you felt when anyone touched you with their own needs or offered their idea of help. You were so deeply in the process of birthing……you wanted to throw them off!  When you love yourself, express joy and appreciation, you are like a feather on her. You can even go from

huge wall hanging of gold flattened bottle caps...loved the rippling waves of it. A tapestry of metal.

being neutral like a feather, to being a help if you act as a conductor of the love energies…..like bringing the ice chips at the right time, or supporting and rubbing the back. It is our job to tune in to what our mother needs. She cannot spare the energy to tell us, she needs us to simply do it and be it. That support. You can ask to align your heart chakra with hers and offer your beams of love to her. You know how powerful that can be, to have someone holding you in love. I recall a friend making her first video for a worldwide audience. She asked me to sit and beam love at her for the afternoon’s taping and that is what I did. It was a solid thing that she could draw upon as needed.

We are all responsible for clearing our fields. There is no energy left for healing another, trying to move another to a new level of seeing, nor continuing relationships where we are not seen or respected.  It never was our job though we were taught to use our power in that way. Our sole job at this time, is to shine our light  for all we are worth. That means, cleaning the lens so that the light can be seen more clearly. Clearing the emotional body of the old programming of I am not enough, all comparisons, all judgments of self and others. Letting go of duality in all its myriad forms. That is being conscious in every moment: “Does this thought elevate others or myself? Does this thought bring me joy? Does this thought or action ennoble myself or others?” We are creating our world together. We are creator beings. I read a wonderful article about this by Peggy Black and her angel team:  http://www.therainbowscribe.com/thegrandrebirth.htm She speaks of the power of our imagination when combined with our emotions. These are our creating gifts. My son summed it up after reading this as: imagination+emotion=our genius moments! I like that. She speaks of how worry is the distorted use of our imagination and gives some powerful exercises to turn this around.

Such creativity in interpreting the paintings. I loved the dark, fluid tree form!

There is a huge letting go…of relationships that no longer serve us, possessions that we do not use, activities that do not uplift us, any way of giving away our time or energy that does not feel good! Our emotions truly are our guides in this. I have a reoccurring theme in my dream space. I hear this message: As the chaos rises, so too must your inner core of peace and calm. You have been prepared for this. I can feel that there are more earth changes ahead and I am told to see it is necessary in the birthing and to hold to the larger vision of what is taking place. When you are in labor, you do not need anyone freaking out because you are exhibiting pain. You do not want someone saying, “Oh my, this is awful, you poor thing! This should not be happening.” That does not help. You want to be surrounded by folks who are calm, centered and offer soothing words of support like, “You are doing great!” Who hold the vision of the beautiful baby to come. Our mother is birthing herself anew and the world to

lovely scene of spring flowers

come is of a beauty that we cannot imagine. Already it takes my breath away and I can only feel its presence as it makes its way down the birth canal. Wow!!! Hold to that vision of beauty. When you hear of earth changes, know our mother knows what she is doing as do all beings who may transition from the changes.On a soul level, they have agreed to this. Offer prayers of support and love but do not stand there adding energy of fear or upset.  Birth that beauty in yourself. Do you truly see that as you birth the truth of your own beauty to yourself, you allow others to see your radiance and you gift our mother with so much.

Wild and wonderful!

My sons had an encounter with an older gentleman sitting outside the local store. He could have been mistaken for a vagrant as he had a weathered countenance and appearance. They sat and had a conversation with him and it turns out he was a retired professional football player. He said that he could see that they were of “we consciousness” rather than “me consciousness”. He shared that he was in town for the passing of his mother and what a heart opening and sacred event it was for him. As they went to leave, he said, “You are both so sparkly!” As we stand in our truth, we are seen by those who have eyes to see. Our light is shining as we birth our higher Christed selves into this form. This is a time of magic.

A bit of green in honor of St Paddy from the stairwell of the art museum.

Oh, speaking of magic, Happy St. Patrick’s Day!! Truly take in the wonder of where we are and savor these holy moments as we go through this shift of the ages. It is all sacred. It is all divine. Including you! Take a moment to expand into the love that you are…….and feel the magic.