Ever the Call to Deeper Love

Posted on December 7, 2021 by lovelylinda

A dove of peace resting in the tiny tree…my Christmas tree cut with my grandson. We have matching tiny trees.

These times call us all ever higher, to walk in our truth. We are being called to live our mastery in every moment of our lives. How to find peace in the midst of a storm? The outer world presents greater and greater upheaval and distortions. It seems we are in a tiny skiff, trying to stay afloat as huge waves threaten to overwhelm us.

Yet, the waves are fears, manufactured to keep us destabilized. Who do we cry out to when it feels as if all is lost? Do we turn to our government, to the “science” that the mass media present, the pharmaceutical companies, the financial institutions or the churches?

Has the outer noise and confusion been enough to see us taking the step that our souls know leads us home. The step inward, the journey to our own hearts’ knowing. With a deep breath, we can step into a sanctuary of peace and love. We can rest in our own lovelight that has always been there, awaiting us.

The challenges come through our loved ones, through our communities…..whether you live a semi- hermit like existence like me or one fully engaged with others, your higher self will bring you opportunities for growth, for expansion. This fills me with awe, how I have gifted myself with everything that I need, every step of the way.

For now, my challenge comes in finding my way to hold love and honoring for one dear to my heart, as our frequencies no longer align. How to honor the holiness of this one’s path, while honoring my own. Our paths still cross due to the nature of our relationship so I cannot simply avoid meeting nor sever the relationship. I am a sword carrier, used to wielding a flame of truth when called to. I have done this with harshness and fierceness at times. Now I am being called to a new way. How to be at peace and express love while holding true to myself.

Old churches dot the landscape here, many struggling for membership or abandoned. May we come to worship at the inner church of our hearts.

It is easier, as the frequencies have risen on the planet, to find oneself in the observer role. To pull back, and seek the bigger picture. I am being called to greater mastery, as we all are, to remembrance of our true selves. Silence offers assistance as a navigational tool. I have used my voice, my anger, my engagement to be the wall for shadow selves to be presented against. My own shadow self is visible as I view these old methods and see their limits. The physical and emotional bodies assist as fatigue takes its toll. To engage with another’s shadow, is exhausting work. My body tells me that is no longer the path. Everyone comes to face their truth when the soul is ready. We have spent lifetimes lifting others up, holding space for them to move. The times have changed. It is time for self care, for nurturing, for rest. The way of battling has changed form. When all is viewed through the lens of oneness, there can be no other. There are only faces of the oneness. How do I walk in harmony with the all as well as maintain my own lovelight in truth?

We are birthing the Christ child within.

There is the inner world that is calling for my attention. The outer world of the personality self has lessened its hold over the years. The mother role has been a dominant theme in this lifetime. Years ago, on Mount Shasta, ( a sacred site in Northern California) I was asked to grow into my planetary motherhood and hold a more expansive love. I was shown its fierce face by a divine feminine being, Mother Sekhmet, who infused me with the knowing of what that felt like. A compassionate love that was truth and did not pander to sentimentality nor sympathy. Now, I am being asked to refine this, to walk it in a new way. Mother Mary, who has been my mentor for eons of time, is present with me in this holy season of love with her gentleness and grace. Moment to moment, I am seeking my way. There is no known path that I can clearly see. My heartlight is my guide, my illumination. I am called to rest and pause. I do not need to react, rather to feel my way to flow with a gentleness that holds firm. Seemingly opposites playing out in this world on so many levels. How to be all of it, to hold both sides in love. Ah, at times the pressure brings out the sweat on my brow as it were, as my heart gets a work out to BE this.

Nature shows us her fiery love at dawn and dusk.

To find the balance, to show up for loved ones yet not give away my inner peace that fuels my ability to be who I came to be at this time in our story. I came to hold a frequency of the new. I am a master builder and vision keeper. We are at the gateway to building a new earth. Our higher purpose fuels our walk now as our Christed self inhabits more of our physical form.

It is not time for distractions, for living untruths. There is no energy available to explain to others the withdrawal from frequencies that drain. Only in stepping back, can I honor myself and another’s path. To flow the lovelight always, a stream that has no end. Yet, to allow myself what is needed to keep that love’s flame alive and burning bright. To be willing to appear as unloving to another in order to be love.

My grandson and I look for and notice, all the ways that we are reminded that we are loved. Hearts abound.

None of this is new. I could say that I have walked this path for decades. Yet, always there is a refinement, a new cycle that calls for a deepening. Our souls, pulling us closer to our hearts’ truth. To rest in the unknowing with peace and trust. To know my own voice, to listen and follow my own wisdom and allow all to shift and change, moment to moment.

Not for the faint of heart, this path of ours! God bless us all as we live these times of the ending of an age on this earth. May we keep our flames ever alight as we stand for truth and beauty.

The Season of Gratitude

Posted on November 13, 2021 by lovelylinda

The dying milkweed releases its seeds of new life. We are in this same process now.

The chaos swirls around us and can sweep us up into its eye. There are times that I feel like an old sock, wrung out and limp. There are times that I feel like a balloon, blown up so that my belly is a drum that calls for my loosest pants. There are times where I lie upon this almost frozen ground of Northern Vermont, my face turned to the sun, my bare feet on the ground and I feel that I am plugged into a battery that recharges my system. There are times that I cannot venture outside despite the sun beckoning. There are times that lying on the couch, snacking and watching videos consumes hours so that my body rests. There are times where there is no sleep as my heart is on fire with pain or my body tired but wired with energy flowing. There are times when sharp pains come and go, times where the pain lingers and keeps me close to my nest.

Thank goodness my heart has a flame of faith that burns bright. It holds an image of the new world that I desire for myself, my children, my grandbabies, and theirs, to live in. My heart sings the notes of harmony, of peace and bliss. I know that I am in place for this transition. I am grateful for all the softness that I arranged and granted myself in this lifetime. Dear friends, who uplift me and carry my heart when it is heavy with pain. I have not found friends here since our move a year and a half ago, except for a couple of dear hearts. Yet the ones I call and communicate with, but can no longer physically be with, are my anchors in this new world. How grateful I am for each one. My three adult children are lights that hold me in their embrace and nourish me with hugs and love. My former hubby, my daughter-in-love add to the strength of my days here. My two grandchildren are pure flames of love that enrich each of my days. Their eyes are jewels, sparkling so, that at times, I almost reel from the power of their lovelight.

Gratitude flows easily, even when I am feeling the extremity of some new horror appearing on the world’s screen. The children are my hearts, the new experimental drug that is being offered to them, took me through nights of despair as I felt every intent behind this injection. I had to feel it all the way through, processing it through my body, so as to know deeply every nuance of its frequency. After wrestling with this for three days and nights, I came out on the other side knowing that my job now is to hold the children in love and ask for the highest possible outcome. I trust the greater plan to awaken more people to what is taking place in this matrix world, though it hurts my heart that children are being used in this way . As a grandmother, I stand with the other wise women in this world, to harmonize and bring all to the lovelight. May parents wake up and stand guard before their children and protect the light that they are.

The last of flowering bushes, each bud in the shape of a heart!

My days give ample opportunities for gratitude. A ten minute walk takes me to the organic farm where I pick up my fresh veggie allotment for the week. All winter long, their greenhouses produce fresh sprouts and greens, vibrant and alive. They provide recipes that help me know what to do with some veggies that I am not familiar with. Closer still is the organic meat stand where I can buy meat that has been raised here, by loving owners who care for their animals in the best ways. There is a general store that sells organic supplies, a village store that sells whatever else is needed. Our friends who keep a few cows, provide us with organic raw milk that is topped with so much cream, I find myself patting and thanking the cows when I am out at the farm. A post office with friendly workers and trails that weave in and out of the village for snowmobiles and skiers. I will be a snowshoer, free to use the paths also. It is wonderful that landowners around here, rearrange their fences in the winter in order to allow the hundred miles of trails that the local outdoor center, keeps groomed. We have yet to have snow though it is in the forecast.

The last of the color of autumn.

The best is my nine month old granddaughter who has learned to crawl to and knock on the connecting door between the downstairs and my upstairs apartment. She lets me know that she wants to come up for a visit. I am blessed that my son and daughter-in-love, have turned the upstairs of their farmhouse, into this space. My former hubby, both sons and I, worked to create a kitchen and living room from two of the three bedrooms. There remains one large bedroom with space for the six year old’s more physical imaginary play…jump off the bed, tumble on the floor, run around. I homeschool him a couple of mornings a week, while my daughter works. It is such a joy to see him reading! It is one thing that I have always loved to teach and that I promised all my kids I would do for their children, as I did for them. I am grateful to be here to fulfill this desire.

Thanksgiving approaches in less than two weeks time and its energy is flowing strongly through me. I feel the richness and depth of joy that is possible with connection and love. I breathe this out to all of humanity, that all be cherished, that all know love and that they are love. That everyone has a place where they are needed, where they are honored for who they are. May we hold steady as the old falls around us. May we not be swept into the whirlwind of collapse, but hold the center of peace. This is who we are, this is what we do. God bless us all.

Autumn…..the Harvest

Posted on September 29, 2021 by lovelylinda

Autumn is my season….the colors suit my being, as the browns, greens, golds, burnt oranges and fiery reds mirror my hair and eyes and part of my nature. My body comes alive in the cooler temperatures. My senses are heightened by the sharpness of the trees’ colors, the fermenting smell of apples that have fallen along roadsides and paths, the wind that rustles the leaves, the taste of fall squashes, the crunch of fresh apples, the feel of soft wool underclothes and warm sweaters against my skin. All invigorates my being with a pulsing energy.

Wood piles awaiting stacking.

It is a time to stack wood in preparation for the coming winter, to preserve the summer’s bounty in freezer and jars. To switch out the bathing suits and summer clothes for the winter gear. Boots, mittens, hats, scarves come out of their cedar infused boxes. The winter wardrobe requires more space in closets and drawers. Flannel sheets replace the cotton and wool rugs are unrolled to cover the planks of the wood floors. The heavier curtains are hung to keep the coming icy air at bay. Slippers cover once bare feet indoors though I am still taking barefoot walks for as long as my feet can handle it. Not much longer as the ground begins its freeze.

There is a part of me that thrives on this intentional shift, the gearing up for the winter. I look forward to the darkening days, where the long evenings of quiet sitting by the fire with books and crafts on my lap. Time to turn from the sewing machine to hand stitching and knitting. Easy projects that do not engage my mind, rather my hands while my spirit soars.

We are on the cusp of the new age, the time of love returning. All that we have held deep within our hearts that has been so battered and bruised, may now come out to be felt. Our weary hearts are called to open anew and hold our banners high of dreams so beautiful that our eyes blink at the intensity of color and form. Love that the little ones know, they shine it out of eyes that sparkle and smiles that light up the room. I am so blessed to be with two grandchildren who emanate this new lovelight in every moment. They refuel me, infuse me with their joy.

The book of love is now open. It has been hidden so deep within as we navigated this world of duality. Now all returns to unity. To oneness and sovereignty. We stand whole and true and our radiance calls to us all that wishes to play in this new loveland.

It is time to shake off the weight of the past, to bless and forgive the sorrows, to don new garments of light. Imagine new flowers and plants, new animals and skies. Imagine our bodies radiant and flowing. Oh my, there is so much ahead. As we turn on our heartlights to high beam, we will find our way to loveland. We will light up one another’s hearts and fill the chalices of our being. This is our work, this is our play, this is our truth. To live in love with everything and everyone. Yes, we can do this!

Surrendering to Pain and its Lessons

Posted on July 8, 2021 by lovelylinda

The windmill atop the hill behind the house.

It has been about ten days or so of pain and discomfort in my back. I have had back issues on and off for years yet none have taken so long to resolve. My body is strong in its willingness to do as I ask of it, when I ask. Now, it asks me to move in a new way, a new energy. My old way held a gritting my teeth energy. I had thought that long behind me since I stepped onto this path of beingness over a decade ago. Yet, the recent move of our family brought out my old “can do” energy despite my knowing that I was to walk it differently.

Homemade naan bread and fresh delights by my daughter-in-love.

This has been a deep surrender on much more than only the physical level. I have had to have help which my family has graciously given. They have taken it in turns, to make sure that I have had food and assistance as well as company and a showering of love. One morning, my former hubby came to check in and make me breakfast. I was not feeling hungry and started to say so when I heard, “The food is the vehicle for the love. Accept the love and allow it to nourish you.” Yes, I allowed and ate the love that created it. I had thought myself balanced on the receiving end after a half century of the giving side. I was raised to believe that love came through service, and I emptied my well of self over and over in pursuit of that love. These days have shown where I still held remnants of that belief that I had to be giving in order to be loved. I have sunk into the love given with a deep sigh of gratitude and appreciation.

I have been moved to stillness, to a time of drifting. I have turned to my old coping mechanisms; books, movies, sweets. All having their place yet not touching what needed touching within. I have felt the loosening of bonds. I have watched myself react in old ways, the attempting to control, fix or change people or circumstances. Of wanting all to feel comfort and softness. There is a falling away as the energy does not hold….it dissipates as I form it. I am now sensing the old reaction form and knowing that I can watch it and allow it to recede without moving to form. I can bear witness to all these aspects of self and feel compassion and love for myself and all of us. We are such tender beings. Oh, how we strive and work to be more. Our own beauty and mastery eclipsed by the story of not being enough.

Vibrant poppies outside my door.

Each day, more falls away. The pain has moved to discomfort, my body keeping me in check if my mind harbors an idea of what I will do. Slowly, slowing down to its pace. Movements careful and full of presence or the spasms take over. Grateful for the easing that is happening, the greater connection to this beautiful body that has held up through so much heaviness with few complaints. Letting go of any idea of how each day, each hour will be. Allowing myself this drifting, the ability to rise without using a prop and then needing the prop once again. Back and forth, surrendering to what presents, to what I am called to.

The new comes closer, on the edge of my awareness, a dream like quality of joy. If I turn and feel for it directly, it moves away. The stillness invites it in. I lie here dreamweaving the future I choose to live in. The future where we are free to love everything and everyone. The future that my grandchildren embody, their eyes ablaze with starlight beams from home. My sweet five month old granddaughter takes me breath away each time I see her, whether it has been an hour or a day. She is so bright! Fortunately, I live above her in a beautiful space that allows me freedom to dream as well as easy access to the love of my son’s family below me. Sweetness.

I know the privilege of space and time that I have. As I sink deeper into the dream and weave the lovelight that I am, I feel all hearts’ desiring for this new world. May we all dream it together and relish all the moments along the way. We are awesome creators. We are beautiful. May we all come to know our own beauty.

The Divine Feminine Flows Powerfully This Mother’s Day

Posted on May 10, 2021 by lovelylinda

Look at these varieties of daffodils!

There is a lightening that is happening on this planet as the divine feminine flows in more freely. Yesterday, I had a wonderful Mother’s Day as for the first time in years, I was surrounded by my three adult children and two grandchildren. A blessing for sure. My daughter-in-love experienced her first Mother’s Day and it has been a joy to witness her blossoming into a magnificent mother.

Beyond the personal, for which I am so grateful, I could feel the planet being bathed in that mother ray…..aquamarine, pinks and golds. All flowing, all glowing. I felt the loosening in each heart of the old stories of pain and suffering. All is being released as we are able to allow it through our loving it, blessing it and feeling the truth behind the pain.

I did not see nor speak with my mother for decades before she passed. Her choice through disowning me and yet mine too, to set a boundary around my own family of children, to stop the cycle of abuse. My healing and freedom came on the inner planes in meditation many years ago. I was shown the love that she and my father held for me, that allowed me to incarnate. They agreed to play dark roles for all six children. Not all six, survived the experience. I did and grew into myself as I had to claim my truth over the version shown to me. I saw the 22 birthdate that I shared with both parents and the triangle of love it created. They gave of themselves so that I could be here to shine my lovelight in this transformational time. What a gift!

It is not necessary for the other person to be present, to do healing work. Whether incarnate or not, we can intend for a letting go of any blame, knowing that our soul has created every experience at our own direction, all for growth, all for love. The energies now, as the mother flame beams so bright, are to assist us to give it all to that flame of love. Let it purify our memories, easing pain, burning away all the untruth we are taught to be victims. We never were, we are not victims. We co-create all of this play, to learn, to grow in lovelight. We ask our dearest ones to play the darker roles, for who else, would choose to honor us in every way that we need and desire.

Gorgeous color after the white palette of winter is so energizing.

May this Mother’s Day, ease old heartaches in all of us, men or women. We all carry the divine feminine and masculine flames and seek balance in all ways. Call to Mother Mary, Kuan Yin, Isis, Mother Sekhmet, your angels or your own inner being to assist you when the letting go feels hard. There is the most wondrous freedom when we move from a world of blame and shame into the light of love. It takes courage, it takes honoring our own light and protecting it when need be. We stand in our truth and allow it to inform others of their truth. Whether they accept it or not, we do our part and know that it reverberates down the generations, freeing grandchildren and all life to come. May the blessings of this mother ray fill all of our hearts to overflowing so the earth is bathed heart to heart with liquidlovelight.

Bone Weary

Posted on May 9, 2021 by lovelylinda

Lake where we took our first canoe outing recently. Saw loons swimming and diving. They can stay underwater for a long time!

This morning I awoke with a lightness of being. I felt freedom flooding in my cells, it felt wonderful! It felt as if some significant phase of work, completed. Thank goodness. My daughter felt it too and we moved in a new ease filled rhythm all day. I did my back exercise video for the first time in awhile, I finished sewing a dress for my daughter-in-love, for her first Mother’s Day. I took a walk through the woods and gathered paper birch bark strewn on the ground to use to write letters to folk special to me. I visited a house at the top of the hill whose owners live in Cape Cod, making use of the house only a few weeks of the year. I picked a beautiful bouquet of daffodils there. Most were bent over by the wind and asking to be picked to be seen and appreciated. I did just that, putting them in a vase on my table where they lit up the room. There were a couple of varieties new to me, peachy pink and ones with a vibrant orange center. Lovely.

Tonight, I find myself exhausted. Heat surges off and on, head intensity and an effort to get up off the couch to use the bathroom and refill my water glass. My body feels leaden. The fire burning is a source of comfort. I marvel that I am still standing (make that lying down!) on this earth. These are moments when I feel the weight of far more than my sixty-five calendar years. I feel ancient and bone weary of this experiment.

Yet, this morning, there was a shift. I know in my bones that a new day is dawning and that I remain to live it fully. I am so grateful for all who have contributed to this shift, who have continued to stand in this pressurized state for eons of time. Deep bow to us all.

Magical May!

Posted on May 8, 2021 by lovelylinda

Love the spiral on this log.

Magic and miracles has been my mantra for decades. I am so ready to live it and sense that this month of May. The first miracle happened on Beltaine, May 1st. We invited folks over for a barbeque and bonfire. As the evening came to a close, children and chairs collected, dishes gathered, hugs given, the fire was left to burn itself out. It had little fuel left and with the moisture in this area and the large gravel circle it was set in, we expected it to soon die out. That was one of my sleepless nights as energy was running and my job was to witness it with wakefulness. I sat downstairs by the hearth, watching its flames through much of the night. At 5:30 am, I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and toast when a flame caught my eye outside. I questioned if it was a reflection coming from somewhere yet it was moments before the dawn and darkness cloaked the yard. I opened the back door to get a closer look. The fire was still blazing! The fairies and elementals must have been at work, tending it through the night. A miracle! Magic! A wonderful beginning to this month. I am intending to witness many more this month and those to come.

I have been reading essays and stories by Wendell Berry, a wonderful writer and man. His writing has brought me to tears with its poignancy and truth. In one essay this morning, he is quoting from Norman Maclean’s “A River Runs Through It”.

After a man’s death, his brother and father spoke of him. The father asked the son, “Are you sure you have told me everything that you know about his death?” …I said, “Everything.” “It’s not much, is it?” “No,” I replied, “but you can love completely without complete understanding. If you push me far enough, all I really know is that he was a fine fisherman.”

“You know more than that,” my father said. “He was beautiful.”

Is not this the mystery and magic of life? So much of beauty and truth goes beyond our understanding. We can only stand witness and know that “he was beautiful” and that we can love without understanding.

Grouchiness

Posted on April 20, 2021 by lovelylinda

Irritability, nausea, head pressure, dizziness make for a grouchy gal! My, that light flowing in is doing some excavating. It is almost 6 am and I have been awake most of the night. Intense dreams filled time asleep. Now I am sitting by the fire, watching a glowing red orb peek over the distant hills. The sky is muted purple and pinks, giving light to a soft blue. The birds are singing the sun up and I am grateful to be a witness to its rising.

We are on the cusp of a huge transition as a collective. We are purging the old energies of pain and despair. It can feel uncomfortable. I remind myself that it is a pattern of change that suddenly what was once tolerable, is no longer. Little things irritate beyond reason, patience is stretched thin, my entire emotional field feels fried. I feel as worn as an old piece of silk that has seen decades of wear. Any frequency that is not crystal clear, feels like an assault. Old ways of interacting leave me exhausted.

Thank goodness for nature and the walks that invite me out my door. I can regain my equilibrium and find peace. Two tiny violas have blossomed as the recent snow melted, lifting their yellow gladness to all. Two fiddlehead ferns thrust themselves above the snow to be seen and marveled over. The trees have buds that are swelling with green that I can almost sip. Some buds are white and look like tiny candle flames alight on a Christmas tree.

My living arrangement is soon to change and I feel it reverberate on the inner and outer world. It is personal to me, yet reflects what we are all about to step into. Newness on levels we cannot comprehend. All we can do, is show up. Whether in our grumpiness, our joy, our sorrow….all of it is called out. We are asked to get clear about who we are and what we desire. Only then can we live in peace. Not the peace that we have known, rather sovereign peace where we stand each moment in truth, each breath conscious as it flows out and draws in. May we be gentle with ourselves and one another as we walk these days. We will look back and know what strength it took and be glad of our hearts so pure.

Ah, here she comes! The sun cresting the hillside. Blazing her light on one and all. We are blessed.

Swirling Snow in Spring

Posted on April 16, 2021 by lovelylinda

I awoke to a winter wonderland, heavy snow that the temperatures could barely transform from the rain that fell through the night. The daffodils, so bright in their sunny colors, are bowed down with the snow’s weight upon their heads. I went out and picked a bouquet of those that were already flattened to the ground, their light obscured by the winter white. They raised their heads in a vase of warm water and shook off the snowy wetness, to shine their beauty once again.

I felt such honoring for those blooms that held upright under this late onslaught of winter after days of warmth and sunshine. This is so many of us, continuing to shine our light, despite the weight of this crumbling world threatening to muffle us under a heavy blanket that falls so insidiously. Our role is to stand tall, continue to hold our heads up and our sweet hearts open for all to see. We can offer to brush the snow of the ones who are flattened, to bring them into the warmth of our visions and dreams so that they might know their own beauty as they see it reflected in our eyes.

This landscape of the Northeast Kingdom informs me on so many levels. It infuses my days with a deep connection to nature that blesses me in every moment. I awake to sunrise streaming through my windows, luring me to the front porch or lawn to witness the greater panaramic view. Evenings, I watch the sun do its dance before she sets over the hillside….coinciding most nights when I am at the kitchen sink, hands deep in dishwater as my heart expands with the clouds and colors of the evening.

I was amazed to see the trees present a color of spring, before their leaves have unfurled. I know of the new green opening, the rich autumn colors of the leaves’ demise but had not truly taken in the misty colors of buds forming. There is a red of the red maples, the pussy willow yellow buds, a grey green haze of many trees whose name I do not know. What I do know is a sense of awe as I look at the woods and see the soft colors that proceed the full opening of the leaves of summer. It is a new experience and one that I am relishing along with the recent days of warmth that saw my family taking quick plunges into icy streams and lakes as well as dances through the sprinkler on the back lawn. I did get pulled into that dance by my grandson, squealing in shock and delight at the sudden coldness. Resting afterwards in the intensity of the sun, with its warmth that touched the outer surface of my winter white skin.

We are living through extraordinary times. Intense discomfort comes and goes in my heart and body. Anxiety, unease, jangly energies run amok in me as well as a bliss that flows in the same pathways. Some days I cannot keep enough food in my body, it seems to burn up an hour after eating. Fatigue pulls me down and I then lie there awake. My body has no sense of night nor day as I have tea and toast at 3 am and fall into a deep sleep at 4 pm. My grandson wakes me, “Nana, it is dinner time!’ and I struggle up from some far away place. The inner hum feels excitable with what is to come, that we are on a precipice. My mind argues that we have felt this energy before….decades of dancing the mantra, magic and miracles are here, only to live once again the tapped down life of this reality. And yet, my heart says, this time is different. This time is true.

Our family moves soon to become stewards of a piece of land..our own loveland that my former hubby and I dreamed of in our youth. Now, decades later and we will live our dream in a form not imagined in those early days. We would not have imagined the valleys of despair, the loneliness that can be experienced within a marriage, the mountain peaks of joy with our three children and in turn, our grandchildren. The going out and pulling apart followed by the coming together as friends, as anchors for our family unit of love.

To steward some land, to invest in its beauty and offerings. I have felt the land talking to me. It has a small, dark house built upon it, spent 30 years under the stewardship of a couple that held a typical Yankee utilitarian outlook on life. We will lighten and enlarge the house, add new dwellings that have lived long in our imaginations as we amplify the beauty of the land. It is quivering in anticipation as it knows it is to anchor a love pod of the new earth. We will create in communion with the land and elementals. Magic and miracles will be present and acknowledged.

Just a day ago, sunshine illuminated these flowers.

The swift change of season, the way this weather seeks to keep me ever present to life, builds such a wealth of gratitude in my heart. My world is small in regards to relationships as this state of Vermont holds tight to the masks and vaccines and strictures that are not part of my being. Folks fear to gather so we weave our way around, standing on the porch of library and general store to get books and groceries that we preorder online. We have found some dear hearts of resonant frequencies who live close to the land and its dictates, not the programming of the outer world. I have a few dear friends whose hearts keep mine afloat when I am in need though we live distances apart. My five year old grandson affords me laughter and opportunities to play each day and my three month old granddaughter allows me to slow and settle into the rhythm of the rocking chair and her sleeping weight that fills my chest with a peace that breathes me.

These times, these times! They demand our attention and intentions. They call out our dreams and our courage. I am here, gratefully so.

Neither Here Nor There

Posted on March 27, 2021 by lovelylinda

After a few days of warmer temperatures that saw a gradual melting of the snow around me, I awoke to a gentle mixture of snowy rain coming down. Not sure what form it was to take, it came down in a mixture of the two. Nature has been reflecting my moods so accurately. I have been in a flat place, standing still, no idea of who I am as there is no firmament under my feet. This week, as the sun shone with warmth, I walked with bare feet through patches of snow to land on earth, that gave as the thaw worked its wonders. All is in flux. Am I snow or am I rain? Am I sunshine or a mist gently hugging the ground? I shapeshift with the weather.

Mud season makes driving a new experience on dirt roads. Slipping and sliding!

I observe my life with an appreciative eye and grateful heart, yet it is with dispassion. Removed by layers as life continues its flow around me, like a rock standing in a stream as the spring melt rushes past. In the stream, yet apart. I reach for sugar, toast, comfort in baking cookies and sitting by the fire, staying up late to read books that carry me away in their stories. Some part of me waiting, sensing the magic to come, other parts too tired, too worn to touch into the feelings of future. The past has come in blips of intense feeling where some situation where I felt shame or censor arises full force like a shock to my body, only to recede as quickly as it appeared. Strange aches and pains arise for a moment or a day, only to recede from whence they came. Our bodies, throwing off lifetimes of suffering in these twitches, moving from denseness to seek the light of love.

The present most fully felt as I rock my sleeping grandbaby, breathing in her sweetness as our hearts twine in love with the starry realms that she retreats to. No thought, no needs, simply my foot pushing against the floor to keep us in that hypnotic state of surrender. Neither here nor there, a space of peace and calm.

Then there is the opposite expression as my five year old grandson invites me into his fort, assigns me my role in his never ending imagination, playing Peter Rabbit or Thumper Two or anyone of his menagerie of stuffed animals. He runs off to drive his tractor or dump truck into the fray, I set the blocks and he calls out commands. There is wrestling and jumping and movement aplenty. Ready, set, action!

We are to move in a few weeks as our rental house is being sold. It has been a gracious landing place as we moved from California to this Northeast Kingdom of Vermont. A year to get a feel for a rural life, a deeper connection to the land through the sharper lens of distinct seasons. The new place, the homestead is loosely tethered through a piece of paper with signatures. Older owners down South, the place full of three decades of life that they must come to dismantle as grandchildren call them to a new area and life. Our departure date looming, yet their leave taking timetable in their hands, not ours. This is the now….resting in this lovely farmhouse that has held us close, feeling the push to the next spot, seeing it shimmering ahead, yet the bridge from here to there is not built.

Moments of panic, what is the plan B if this should not come to pass? A houseful of stuff and four bodies to house, no easy rentals or spaces to find in this rural environment. Living in the deep surrender and trust that all will flow. Deep breaths as I recall that there is only now to live. Letting the questions and concerns come and letting them go. The hows, the whens, the desire to build the bridge to our future yet knowing I can only build it in my heart and trust it will find its form in the physical in divine timing.

Highland cattle with its shaggy coat that is well suited to this clime.

The family is all here, nine hearts connected to a dream, a template of beauty and love that is ours to anchor. I know the dream so well as I am the dreamer, the vision keeper. Ahead, in the realm of day to day, there is the moving from this place to that….fifteen minutes down the hill and up a steeper one. Boxes, trucks, lifting….we moved in big trucks across the country, a household reduced and rearranged here. Now a smaller old farmhouse in need of renovation and expansion to hold us. The hows of it all, I cannot feel. How does it all come into form? How is it transformed into a light filled space of grace and beauty that we can live in? Wells and septic systems….new elements to contend with. The land itself invites me with its woods and creek and park like meadow set in a bowl of earth. A fairy like setting that is expansive and restful. A container that calls for an expansive dream to play out. The love pod with its cottages and gardens, with its laughter and music, fire pit and hammocks, gatherings of joy. All awaiting physical form.

Onion seedlings on their way….awaiting the warming of the earth to be planted.

A decade ago, I told my son that we would not need moving boxes and trucks to shift from our apartment in San Francisco as I thought that it would all happen with a blink of my eye. He laughed and arranged for our move in the old way… “just in case, mom”. Of course, it was needed then and perhaps it will be again in this now. I feel it so solidly, the abilities to create with our hearts, with a thought, with a sweep of my hand or a tone from my voice, to make desires take form, to create and uncreate through intention and attention. I know that I am to live this. May it be soon!

Spring looms with sparkles and light…..as the snow flurries thicken and drift down with a weight to their form now. I sit with the fire inside, letting its warmth soothe me. All is well, all is weaving a tapestry of love to hold us. May it be for all of us, a spring of renewal and magic. A spring to remember in days to come as the new beginning.

Liquid Love Light

heart whispering, sound healing, writings, art

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