A Past Life Experience Coming Through

Posted on March 8, 2013 by lovelylinda

The blossoms of beauty that spring bring.

March is surely cleaning out my closets of emotions. I had an intense experience the other night that swept me up for a half day or so. I spent yesterday in a cocoon space, recovering my equilibrium and peace as the event had depleted me. Awake now since 2 am, feeling that strange sensation of energy swirling inside alongside, a sense of calm. Not one or the other, but rather both at once. Finding a place to breathe and balance within this newness. Standing on shifting sands, my beingness learning to make minute adjustments every moment.

My experience came through an encounter that one dear to me had with a friend of his. This person made an unusual suggestion to him that created confusion. He relayed his sense of confusion to me, triggering me mightily. My truth meter, which is highly sensitive to manipulative energy, went on high alert. I felt an energy move from this person, directly to my heart. It was as if a poisoned arrow landed in my chest. I was reeling. My whole system was flashing danger, danger! I reacted with anger to the one dear to me, as he was not seeing the danger present. This anger, brought about by fear for his safety, was not something that had not occurred between us. I knew that my reaction was beyond what the circumstances would have elicited. I could not get any understanding as I was thrown into an abyss of pain that I despaired being able to return from. It was as if my breath were taken away, the phrase, unspeakable pain, floated in my mind. I felt the energy of death. I knew I was in the grip of something powerful. It was working to separate us and was succeeding as a chasm opened between me and my loved one that resulted in a hang up of the phone. This was an unheard of behavior.

My mind ran about wildly, searching for information to put to the overwhelming emotions. Tears flooded as I attempted to breathe and find any foothold to move myself from this abyss of pain. It was searing. A loved one came to check on me and witnessed a part of this experience. His calm presence helped me to step back enough to look around for any tools that might help me. I thought Ok, this is an emotion wanting release. Witness it, allow it movement. Panting my way through the waves of pain…..feeling it in every part of me. My mind like a wild animal caught in a trap, “What is this? What is happening?” My heart caught in a current so powerful there was naught to do. There was only barreling down this river of pain as best I could. I surrendered wholly, there was no option. It wanted me and it had me. It lasted a matter of minutes measured in this time, but it was an eternity by some clock. Even writing this, I just found myself taking deep breaths.

The aftermath took some hours. Apologies came for the hang up, the confusion energy was identified as a warning flag and my loved one, determined to sit with what it all meant to him while I sat with what had happened. The depth of our love was acknowledged though this had felt like an ending to me. On the surface, this made no sense but that is what I felt. Speaking did not clear it, I had to get warm, comfort my body and sit with myself. Eventually a past life came forward with the three of us involved. This same dynamic had played out. This woman had been in my community and had been jealous of me. She had determined to hurt me in some way. She chose to use her seductive sexual energies to lure my loved one away. She knew the depth of our bond of love and she determined to destroy it. She was successful and it resulted in his death. I was inconsolable in that life and never fully recovered from the pain of that separation.

I felt plunged into the darkest of nights.

In this life, I have not met this woman but the plan had been for me to meet her. She is a friend, not a girlfriend yet presented energies out of keeping with that relationship. I found it amazing how the energy could come through her, to my loved one, to me with such precision. I knew that in this life, she was not conscious of what she was doing, but the energy was present and created a cloud of confusion about my dear one. I felt neutral towards her, not knowing her, yet anything but neutral to the energy moving through her. The pain found me wanting to separate from my loved one, in a self protective gesture. I called in Archangel Michael to cut all cords binding us, something I do regularly to make sure I am not corded to anyone nor by anyone. My head knew that my present day relationship was intact and would survive, but my heart felt it irrevocably changed. I felt that I had lost him. I held us all in pink flames of love for much of the night, asking for clearing of all the records of that past life.

During this time in travail, a dear friend had called, leaving me a message that I did not listen to until hours later. When we finally spoke, she told me that I had appeared to her in great distress. She was sitting sewing but lifted me onto her lap like a child and rocked me. She sang to me for a half an hour, attempting to calm and soothe me. She said that I told her, “I do not want to be pregnant anymore. “ She knew that was not a possibility and that it was a metaphor for something. After a time, she laid me on a blanket on the floor where I rested. I finally got up and hugged her and told her that I could now go back.

Heart rocks do appear to me regularly, signs to me that I am loved.

I am so grateful for her loving mother’s heart that cares for me so. I find the whole thing amazing. That some aspect of my being, found its way to her for comfort. That she was so tuned in to me that she was present with me. What a gift! The not wanting to be pregnant metaphor felt to me that I did not want to be responsible for anyone any longer. I had uttered that in the midst of my pain, wanting to cut all ties to my dear one, in order to distance myself from the pain of his loss. Oh my! The way we instinctively build walls to attempt to stop the pain from being felt. I experienced the all of the pain of that time.

It took me a full day to open my heart fully once again to my dear one. Our relationship has changed. We both felt it was a refining of how we relate, a new clarity present about boundaries and how to navigate with one another, demonstrating honor and respect. I have detached from how he proceeds in his relationship with this woman, knowing it is his journey of self discovery. This took me some time to get to. It took trust, trusting his I AM presence to guide him to his highest good, knowing that at times we have to play in an energy to learn from it. Knowing that physical death is not at hand yet that a death of innocence may be, for him. My life has seen me held in the grips of manipulative energies that took me down deep, time after time. I had to learn my own power and how to stand in it. I now have a pretty clear warning system that flashes at the first sign of confusion energies, alerting me to step back and take a broader look at what is presenting. I am trusting that he will develop his own warning system and step into his power more fully, as we each are being led to do.

I am grateful for all of this, knowing that it has served a purpose beyond what I can sense or know. This life is mysterious, magical, maddening, mercurial. It is a learning ground for love. My heart is enlarged and enlivened by this experience. I am loving me and all involved with a grateful heart.

Laughing and Loving With Me

Posted on March 4, 2013 by lovelylinda

A heart carved by the elements, asking me to see the beauty of my heart, carved by the elements of time.

Yesterday came and went without writing after stating my intention to write each day in March. How I am laughing with myself this morning. All is well! My non-writing is a perfect place to love myself. I realized that the idea of doing anything that does not organically flow from my being, has dropped from my world long ago. Yet, here I set myself up in the old way, which so beautifully gave me this space to appreciate the way I do flow. I love that I move from my inner promptings rather than from the structure of my mind. I allowed that knowing to rain on my heart.

March seems to be showing me the old templates that I once inhabited in order to feel appreciation for my newness. After not living by a calendar or clock for these past few years, I found myself buying a calendar to track my exercises (only recently feeling moved to move again). I wrote a couple of things down and realized how old it felt. It came from the old list maker in me, who loved to write things down and cross them off. There was some sense of accomplishment in doing these outer activities. I could look at them and feel that I was doing ok, or not. They were a way to gauge progress or movement, or so I told myself, as often as not, they were a way to beat myself up for not staying with a set program. Oh, that needed a deep breath as I sat with my calendar and felt into a deeper place of trust with myself. Can I trust that I will move my body as it directs me in the moment without looking at a list or a schedule of planned activities? I asked my body this. She assured me that if I open a space for movement, she will lead me in the way that she desires. My back has been sore for a time, she is telling me she desires more gentle movements. In loving myself today, I am allowing this space for her to move me.

Admiring the tiny blossoms emerging from the old dense wood. A yearly cycle that speaks of newness.

I went to an event yesterday and ended up sitting with someone who had been a big part of my life during my years here in Sacramento. I had been holding her in lovelight just the day before though I had not seen her in many months. I was making the rounds in my heart, of anyone where the energy was stuck or unclear between me and another. There are a handful of folks, who I no longer interact with, through their choice or mine, yet I desire for the soul love to flow free. I am loving myself by staying current in my heart field with all others. So how beautifully the universe responded to my lovelight by placing this person next to me. The love flowed freely and all was softened for which I felt such gratitude. I desire to live free from hard edges with anyone. I trust that this happens, whether the person and I ever meet or speak again. The truth of love is there, watering the garden of my heart, by holding only love for all others.

I cannot see around the curves ahead, but I can walk each step in gratitude.

When I returned home from the event, I left my observer role, as I felt as though I were the actor in the movie, Groundhog Day, where he finds himself living the same day, over and over. The loop of my life found me back in the same place, residing in my former house, living in an area that never felt like home, speaking with a family member in the old way. I went into judgment about it which did not feel good. Thoughts of, “You are stuck in the same place, this is old energy…run!” flew through my mind. After a time in this space, I made a conscious decision to go inside to seek more information. My old way would have been to stay churning in these thoughts, lashing myself with recriminations. Honoring me, I allowed myself a more expanded viewing angle. My heart opened into love for myself and my courage to return to the old to make it new. There has been tremendous growth and healing for me, my former husband, (now dear friend), and my adult children. This time has been of great benefit for me and all involved. I have had a place to rest deeply when I was so in need of it. All involved had an opportunity to learn new patterns of relating in love. Oh, that feels better! I held that judgmental part of myself in a deep embrace of love, knowing she was doing what she thought best to protect me. I assured her that we are safe and change can come with ease and grace. I thanked her and told her that she could let go of her fears, that we are doing well. Our higher self has us well in hand and continues to take us on the path of greater expansion and love.

Following the arrow of my heart, trusting where it leads.

I then interacted with a friend which further clarified how positive this feeling was as it brought me to an fuller awareness of a loop being completed. I had a foreshadowing of this at the beginning of February, as I could feel this cycle of time, at this place, coming to a close. That feeling of discomfort and panic of yesterday was further confirmation that change is at hand, get ready. In stilling the knee jerk reaction of my mind, I am opening to what is next, allowing life to present the hows and wheres to me, without holding ideas of what it will look like. A couple of friends suggested it might be in this same area, or it might be an inward move to a new state of consciousness rather than a new geographical state. Neither felt like the bigger change that I was seeking to a place with water and open vistas. Yet I allowed myself to open to a yes and a yes to both ideas. I am allowing myself to be with all as it shows up for me. I have set my intent to move and now am alert to signs to guide my path. I know that it often comes in the guise of something not expected or looked for and not in keeping with my personality self’s desires. My soul rules and she steers me aright. I trust her.

My blooming skirt that made me smile.

These are some of the ways I have watered the garden of my heart, the past couple of days. I trust you have been watering yours with compassion as you pulled any weeds of self judgment. We are the tenderest of beings, so pure in our love. Breathe that in and let it shower your garden in liquidlovelight. I love me so and in that love, is my love for thee.

March Enters Streaming Love for the Garden of Our Hearts

Posted on March 1, 2013 by lovelylinda

Today is the first day of March and a wonderful time to declare an intention of love. I am intending to demonstrate love to myself in every moment of each day. I am intending to show up for myself, with myself, in love, knowing that it will radiate to the world as a mighty, magenta pulsing flame of love. In recreating myself in the image of love, I recreate the earth as an abode of love that will shelter all in her embrace. I intend and trust that this is so. I will catch myself when a unloving thought floats in, I will speak words that honor the being that I am, I will see the divinity in each heart around me and reflect that love back to them. I will move myself from any place or situation or person that does not honor the flame of love that I am. This I will do without judgment as to their path, simply as discernment of the path of love that I choose to walk. As I declare my love for myself in this moment, I am also sending love to my past self and honoring her for the dearness that she expressed. I am streaming love to myself in every moment of this current day. I begin my day with an affirmation of love and an intention that by seeing the beauty of my heart, the hearts of my brothers and sisters on this planet, will awaken to their own beauty. I intend this and add my heartlight to it and declare it so by the power of the Creator that I am.

Ready to weed and reclaim the soil of my heart.

This is a radical idea that has the ability to incite fear in the forces that have controlled mankind for eons. If I know myself as love, how can I be manipulated by believing myself flawed, the low self esteem upon which the whole game is predicated. We can so be love that all forces of anti-love, come forth, asking to be held in the embrace of its fiery warmth. We have the power to melt all that is not love, into our flame of love. By giving love freely to ourselves, we give it freely to all. This we have not been taught. We were taught to give it to others and neglect the self. We were raised to believe ourselves unworthy and in that single belief, we abdicated our power. By dropping that belief, and reclaiming the truth of ourselves as beings of love, we can change our world. We can be revolutionaries of the heart. We do not have to brandish weapons but we do have to view our internal battleground. We must stand as witness in this place where we have carried out acts of cruelty, lashed ourselves with our wrongdoings, meted out punishments that took us to our knees, scarred the inner landscape of our hearts to an arid blackness. To this place, we are called, to say, no more to harsh words, to self recriminations, to feelings of guilt or shame. We can bring in the waters of compassion for ourselves. We can plant all the seeds of love that we have craved to taste and experience. I am planting seeds of bliss, ecstasy, laughter, playfulness, joy, sharing, deep communion, giggles, gentleness. Those are the packets that I hold in my hand today. Tomorrow, I will have more. Today, I am stating my intention for love as I plant these seeds into the ground that I have fertilized. I express gratitude for all the shattering that my heart has undergone, as each time, it loosened the soil, broke up the clumps of clay, and tossed out the rocks. It is now ready to accept the seeds and the water that I am prepared to flow in healthy doses. My job is to tend this new garden with great care. A gardener of the heart, am I. I will weed out all unloving thoughts that want to root in once again….you know how those pesky weeds keep showing up. We also know, that if we are diligent while our seedlings are beginning to sprout, there will be fewer and fewer weeds as time goes on. Our seedlings will become sturdy plants that bloom into the most beautiful expressions of love that our hearts have always desired. Our hearts have known themselves as beautiful gardens, but this knowledge was hidden from us for fear that we would spend all our days, basking in their beauty.

Expressions of self-love from yesterday…..a salad full of yumminess, pencils and a new journal whose pages can take paint as well as pencils. Fun!

It is time! Time to be the wildness that we are. Time to create a riot of color and form that invites us to dance and sing and laugh. And this is ours to do. It is this simple: to be love. To express love to self in every way imaginable. I am on the lookout for ways to shower that love on myself today. It began as I looked in the mirror this morning and smiled at the face looking back. Hello beautiful one! I touched the wrinkles and spots and bumps, with a new tenderness. Oh, love, look at you. You have seen many days and weathered many storms. And here you stand. I looked deep into my eyes until the tears clouded my vision. I am love, I am light, I am a vision of beauty. I breathe that in and let it rain down upon my seedlings. I ask my faeries to dress me in my robes and crown. I take a moment to envision the colors and the feel. My shoulders move back, my lovely tummy moves in and I walk in this knowing, holding myself with such care.

This quote from a laugh out loud book that I recently read, Anybody, Any Minute by Julie Mars, spoke to me: “The idea that she was still capable, at forty-seven years old, of doing something outrageous thrilled her, and she felt a warm rush of self-love.”

We are buds, ready to burst open with the love that March is flowing to us! Pink bud, of course for me…the color of love in my world.

Let’s gift ourselves with that warm rush of self-love today! I intend to document this journey daily for the month of March and invite you to stroll along with me. I am gifting myself a new garden journal today where I will note all expressions of self-love. By noting them, I know that they will increase for whatever we focus on grows……oh, how I want my garden to grow! I intend to create a beautiful garden in my heart, one that will nourish my every desire and will offer a healing balm to our mother earth. Together, if you choose to join me, we will cover her surface with the most amazing gardens ever seen! Please share your experiences of self love, all the ways you can begin to plant your seeds and nourish them. We will grow from one another’s ideas and suggestions. This will be a new kind of gardening club. I would love for you to join me!

Loving Me, I Need Such Tenderness

Posted on February 28, 2013 by lovelylinda

Blocks of color, the pink and orange sang. All play, experiments.

I am falling so in love with Linda Marie. Oh, how I love the soul that I am, the way I express myself, my movement or stillness in the world. I AM LOVE. Three simple words that are changing my life as I live them. If I am love, then it follows that I deserve to be loved. That every tenderness, every bit of softness and downy comfort, is mine to be claimed. Love is beauty…I claim that. Love is truth…..I am that. Love is freedom…..I move in that flame. Love is compassion…..my heart is a well. Love is fierce…..I carry a sword. Love is a field……I hold that. Love is strong……I can hold the earth.

Last night, a dear friend called me as she awoke from a dream to tell me that I appeared to her, holding the earth in my hand. I was showing it to her and saying, “It is so much more beautiful than we thought!” She responded, “I want that!” I replied, “You are on it, baby!” We laughed at this and knew it to be true, we are holding the earth, we are on the earth, we are the earth! All of it is true.

Another echo of this feeling came through yesterday from Nicky Hamid, a dear, wise man who adopted me as his daughter when I was in New Zealand. He wrote: “Nothing special to do, or to release. Just watching and knowing, knowing and sensing, living and dreaming, waking and sleeping, breathing and smiling, laughing and crying. It is all good, it is all in the Divine flow. No more story to entertain the mind. All is new, all is You.”

Playing

I so agree with Nicky. I have listened to a few things by spiritual teachers lately that felt so shaming to me. They were espousing some of the following: one must meditate for at least an hour or two a day, one must know the names of your guides to be on the path, the way is hard and takes lots of practice, the switch from our current reality to a higher one is a process that takes a certain amount of time, like years, one must be making money if one is to be fulfilling one’s purpose. I reject all of this. It is not my truth. I have held the vision that all can change in a blink of an eye. We can awaken in a second, the veils falling from our eyes. If that can happen for one, it can happen for all. I do not do formal meditation. I spent too many lifetimes in cloisters and abbeys, intoning mantras and inhabiting the silence. I do love silence, mantras, chanting, toning……all of it is a part of me. My writing and art do not earn money but the joy I feel when doing them is a note that informs and quickens the all. Any of these can take me in to myself. I allow it to find me. I am open to it in every moment and I allow it all to take me there with a breath, with the current of the day, through a violet sprouting in a sea of green lawn, flashing its brilliant color, through the flames dancing in my early morning fire, through the laughter shared with another. It is so simple. It is my intent to walk in that love in every moment. To feel the love and radiate it. I do not have to plan or structure it. I allow myself to flow into greater expressions of myself. This is a natural process, as this year of the snake is here to teach us. We expand and shed our skins over and over. We are wired for ever expanding expressions of ourselves. Change is the only constant, growth a given.

The way the sun caught the orange truck and illuminated it, brought me to me.

We have been implanted with the belief that we are flawed. It is the original sin concept that is so embedded in our society’s consciousness. That we are a beast of burden that needs to be thrashed and prodded lest we fall off the path. That we are in constant need of fixing. We do it with our bodies, our minds, our hearts…..no gain, no pain mentality that has spawned thousands of books and programs. Work hard! Don’t be lazy. Eat right and let us tell you what that is. Get up early, be productive, the early bird gets the worm. LIve up to your potential! On and on we are bombarded with the message that we are not enough. We have bought into the belief that we need constant monitoring or we will become slothful. Maybe it is time to be slothful! Our language reflects this: “I had a lazy day”, implying that we were not productive yet that time was of great value. Do we really think that if we let go, we would all revert to a baser nature? I do not believe this. We might sleep for a month….and that might be just what is needed to allow the body to begin to find its natural rhythm.

I recently began to look through old journals and my heart cried out for all the self inflicted pain I endured. Lists after list of do more, be this, get this done. Eat healthy, exercise daily, pray and chant upon arising, send a thank you note there, push a child to do this, stop someone else from doing that, tell another what is right or wrong about their behavior…….feeling a need to control my exterior world to feel safe inside. Believing that I had the ability to control anything outside myself. Believing that I needed to change to be worthy of love. Living the belief that I could only be loved if I was producing, caring, giving in every moment. So much energy expended! Yet, I did not know myself as love.

The wonder of clouds and light.

When it all stops, we are left in the stillness of our own being. In that space, I have discovered that I am love. If I could take all the shoulds away from folks, all the striving, all the beating up of oneself, all the judging self or others, I would do so in a heartbeat. To breathe free in the love that we all are. To allow love to move us, direct us, teach us. To trust implicitly that our body will choose what it needs to be nourished, that it will move in the way that maintains vibrant health, that our spirit will flow its desires out in a way that expresses our gifts, that by taking the best care of me, I am caring for all others.

Jackie Kennedy is said to have commented that had she known that she was to die of cancer, she would have eaten dessert more often and done fewer sit ups. She felt she had sacrificed for an extended lifeline that did not materialize. Can we trust ourselves to do what is right for us in each moment instead of living so as not to die? We will all die, it is a part of the shedding of the skin that the snake teaches. In truth, we die many times throughout this lifetime. I have shed a couple of skins in the past fortnight, dying to old ways of thought and being. I now embrace death for the expansion it brings.

I am the tenderest of beings. A tiny babe like a young shoot making its way above ground. I am protective of me. I allow only loving thoughts of me to be sounded in me. I discern what feeds me and what no longer serves. I am quick to embrace one and let the other go. I spend much of my time in stillness and silence as it helps me grow in this moment. I look in the mirror when I brush my teeth and smile at the beauty that I am. I observe what I am lead to, what captures my attention in the moment. When I feel too many threads shooting out, bringing a feeling of confusion, I breathe deep and sit in myself. I go within and allow all to be. Peace returns. The next moment arises and flows. I have no agenda for a day. If there is a task to be done, I note it, trusting that my higher self will take care of it when the timing is right. The more I trust this process, the more fluidly it works. Stress departs, there is only now and now and now. Each now taken in joy, with the allness of me. When my being desires rest but not sleep, I turn to a book or a movie, to allow one part engagement while another part drifts on the wind.

Perhaps it is time for the love challenge, to care for ourselves as though a newborn babe. Let only what feeds you today to enter in. Let love dance you in the brilliance of your flame. Allow yourself to move as you feel inspired. Be the love that you are. I see you and know you as love. Do you dare claim that reflection of yourself?

It is Not Linear and It is Not a Mistake

Posted on February 27, 2013 by lovelylinda

I have been on a journey, from the heights to the depths and the spaces in between. Today is the first day that there arises the ability to put words to the experiences. The greatest ahas have been that our lives are not linear as we were taught and that I can trust life. We live in a circular space of the now. All is contained in the present moment. A linear view of our life is limiting and damaging. It serves to keep us past, present, and future orientated rather than present in the now. I can trust that what shows up in each moment has been lovingly tailored for my growth by my own higher self. I have been shown that there are no mistakes, only misunderstandings caused by focusing through a limited view. This has taken some breathing in and out as I allow integration in my system. My head can understand a concept but for my heart to live it, to radiate it, it must become an organic part of my being. My cells have to feel it and embody it, every part of me humming with it. This shows up as the passage of days, weeks, as I tone and sing the song of my heart into my cells and the unity grid of the planet.

Playing with oil paints

On Valentine’s Day, the day of love, I found myself down the rabbit hole once again, standing in a puddle of shame. This holiday, and indeed all holidays, have become fodder for the corporations to feed on the masses with the message to consume in order to prove that you are loved. There is such a narrow band width of love highlighted on this particular holiday, that of romantic love, as we have been programmed to understand it. This leaves most of the population out of the loop, creating separation where true love creates only unity and oneness. As the energies shift, we are becoming more sensitized to untruth. I found myself reacting in anger to the falseness of this energy brought through a dozen red roses, the symbol of this day. It played out with another, the anger pointing outwards triggering a resulting sense of shame to both for falling so far from the vibration of love. We had tapped into old energy patterns brought up through the vehicle of this love day, which allowed us to step beyond, into the truth of our relationship in the now.

Mount Shasta framed.

As I pondered how I could have felt the truth of the Christ consciousness in my being only days before and then fallen into the depths of anger and victimhood, my higher self showed me the circular nature of our universe. We see things as steps, moving ever higher on the ladder which keeps us locked in a pattern of self judgment as we compare ourselves with others as well with an external ideal of what rung of the ladder we “should” be on. Beware of all shoulds! These ideals of growth and how it should look are programmed by our culture, religions, race, sex. A part of me interpreted the movement into shame and anger as a step that negated the Shasta experience of birthing Christ consciousness. One canceling out another. If I could experience the highs, how could I return to the lows? What had I done wrong? My soul viewed it in a different light. It is not one step forward and two back. All steps are movement towards the expansion of light. What may appear on the surface to be a step backwards, may be the necessary catalyst for a person’s soul to find its truth. We cannot judge these outer expressions in another as we have all experienced that “hitting bottom” is oft times the only pathway to rising up. So let us refrain from judging ourselves as taking missteps or making mistakes. Let’s allow ourselves to observe from a space of neutrality and always give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, trusting our hearts to be aimed to love, despite what our wounding may be presenting at the moment. Let us trust that each step takes us closer to our truth.

I have walked with anger and rage as my companions of late as I felt the revolutionary energies violently flowing through me. Everything I touched set them off. For one who normally looks through rose colored glasses, I was seeing mud everywhere! I was feeling the energy of the controllers behind the scenes who have: poisoned our waters and food to keep us docile and dumb, exported terrorism all over the world in such a way to allow Americans to believe we are lily white while our money rapes and pillages country after country, set up tax laws and so much else to benefit those with the money, kept ordinary folks out of the loop by writing laws in obfuscating language, indoctrinated our children in our schools to be the square peg to fit in the cubicle hole of adult life. The list goes on and on. I took all of it in, not having to know all the particulars, rather feeling the energy behind it all; the enslavement of humanity that is now coming to an end. I found myself reading tales of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, the oppression of women in Saudi Arabia…..not my usual light fare. I had to feel it so fully, to be in the cries of the child, the despair of the mother, the soldier trained to numb his soul in order to be a killing machine. All was in me. The desire to harm another, the power lust that takes hold, this too had to be felt. Man’s inhumanity to man. Owning this as a part of my being. Knowing all that is in expression on this earth, is a part of me. Finding, feeling, expressing all elements of darkness as this anger surged and screamed through my cells until it reached a fever pitch. Just when my sword burned to be unsheathed and swung into action, to fight fire with fire, I chose to give it all up. To release it all to my Creator. To turn it over to love and breathe anew.

I then was shown how my experience on Shasta was what allowed this fuller expression of all that stood opposite to love to emerge. I could feel it and hold it in a fuller tone so that more could be released from our mother earth’s fields. There is no canceling out, no missteps. All is guided by our higher aspects to allow us movement and growth into the wholeness of our being. Once again, the importance of trust rings through me as I feel how lovingly I am guided by my own being. I take such good care of me! My higher self so loves me. I feel the Creator’s love and know it as my own.

Flowing with the currents.

This is my work, our work. To be agents of change, to transform our miscreations back to the light of love. To hold the oppressor and the oppressed in my heart, and to see the truth of both hearts yearning for the freedom of love. This is how we create heaven on earth, through my heart, your heart, our hearts. We must each walk through that valley of darkness, feeling lifetimes of pain and suffering that we inflicted as well as experienced. It is a tunnel of fire that will consume all that is not truth. We each must walk blindfolded into this new land, feeling our way by our internal guidance system, gifted to us in our hearts. The old structures and forms are collapsing, there is no one to lead. Uncertainty and change are the norm. Fluidity becomes the stable ground, we are trees rooted in our own beingness, swaying gracefully with the elements. We are being gifted with the opportunity to walk into a new creation of unity and oneness, where all are sovereign in their fields, yet the we consciousness has replaced the I. This is what we were excited about, this is why we volunteered to come! We knew that it was an opportunity to create in a new way, to bring a new version of heaven to earth through the many star nations presently incarnated here. How amazing to have the chance to each bring our flame from home, offering it to the mix, knowing a new song is to arise that will resound throughout the universes.

Begin your fire walk by feeling everything that comes to you, fully, in the moment it appears. Accept all as a gift from your higher self, allowing you movement. Trust that you are worthy of love and all in your world is there to assist you to feel that love. Allow your tone to be tempered in the flames of love and your throat to open to express that love with all that you are. I so love you! I am hearing the harmony of our hearts as we hold the tone of this new earth. My, we are magnificent!

Birthing the Christ Consciousness Through the Feminine

Posted on February 15, 2013 by lovelylinda

Communing with Mount Shasta in the sunlight.

My experience in Mount Shasta this past weekend was a culmination of all that I am. I did not know if I would share it as it was so sacred. I have prayed about it and been given the signal that I am to share, as the time of the Christ consciousness being seated on the earth has arrived. I felt the power of it building as the time approached and asked to be strengthened to receive what was to come. The day before, the restlessness in my body was intense. All that I could do was ground myself over and over into our mother earth. The weekend was arranged according to friends’ schedules but of course, Spirit made the arrangements for it to be the weekend of the new moon as well as the beginning of the Chinese New Year, the year of the water snake.

Two of us drove from the south and one from the north. We shared photos and tonings along the way through the phone. From the south, we were guided to weave the energies of the mountains to the west with those to the east. Mount Lassen stood out like a beacon in her white coat, asking to be utilized. We felt that we wove the masculine and feminine energies of the mountains and elemental beings into a tapestry of light that converged at Mount Shasta. We arrived at our rental place which was surrounded by trees with a view of the mountain out our window. We set up our altar with a red scarf, the color of the Chinese New Year. The lamps flanking it were red, of course! We took out the crystal bowls, which are infused with various minerals and gems and were instructed to work on one another. There was much clearing and aligning of the masculine and feminine within each of our beings. My womb was a focus of clearing which I would understand later. Our three fields were brought into harmony and resonance. We went into town and were guided to purchase a bottle of red wine for our ceremony. I do not drink, never having enjoyed the taste of alcohol, yet I knew that I would partake. None of us knew what was to take place, only that we were to be present and offer ourselves as vessels for the light. We returned to prepare dinner and drink a toast to Mary Magdalene and Mother Mary. They were present with us.

The two major crystals as well as the Prince card that came to me. All the cards I picked that morning were to do with transformation.

The next morning, one friend shared her dream of a Lemurian master beckoning her into the mountain. As he opened a portal, she saw many beings dancing in celebration. The master informed her that the celebration had begun and we were to join in. She also discovered a picture book on a shelf, showing the mountains of the world. This fit into her vision that we would be opening a gateway on Mount Shasta that would connect with all the mountains of the world. We took the images into our beings and allowed our energies to flow from Shasta along the waves of energy that connected all the mountains.

I had a seemingly unrelated event as I attempted to turn the kitchen water faucet to a drip rather than a stream as we were instructed to do so as to prevent the pipes from freezing. I broke the faucet and with that felt a flood of shame. I observed it and breathed through releasing it. The call was made to the owner and all was resolved. This weight of shame of the feminine had to be released for the next step to take place. I am in awe of the ways of our Creator and how all is aligned for the light to flow.

The sun dancing in delight on the mountain.

We had felt that our triad was to be squared by a fourth person. I called a lovely woman that lived in Mount Shasta, that I knew only from facebook. She was able to come. (Again Spirit at work, aligning all so beautifully!) The four of us sat with the bowls placed in the four directions and toned and played as we were led. The bowls played to align her energies with the group and we harmonized our fields of light. We were guided to go to the mountain. We took a tarp, blankets and food up to Bunny Flats, the highest point that the road was cleared to, on the mountain. It was a crystal clear day. We laid about, talking and resting. I saw our fields dancing and weaving together. I was told that there was no need to “do” anything, that it was all happening by our being together. I relaxed and trusted the process. Later, we said goodbye to our new friend and returned to our place for dinner.

We decided to watch one of the movies in the place. It was a heart opener and we all had tears. My eyes began to tear in earnest as it felt like a pin was being stuck in them, first one and then the other. This sensation of having something in my eye had been happening on and off for a couple of weeks. This time it was very intense and painful. My vision blurred and I began to sob. I had such a longing in my heart for my beloved, as myself as well as a partner. I felt I could not bear the separation one moment longer. My friends both noted that this was a pattern that happened to me right before I made a shift in consciousness. They were right. A doorway opened and I found myself in the embrace of Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene and Jesus. The two Marys had been working with me to stand in the flames of their hearts over the past several weeks. I had gradually increased my ability to hold the energy. Jesus then reached out and touched my heart. My body shuddered and the sobs poured through in waves. I touched my friends’ hearts, transmitting his love. I was then taken into his heart flame to be purified. There are no words for this experience. The three hearts became one and my heart was held within this trinity of light. I felt the sacred heart of my Catholic childhood and knew that the images of the swords and thorns were illusions of suffering. All was now dissolved and seen for the truth of love that it always was. My heart was ablaze with a heat that felt like a roaring inferno to me. I felt their hearts weaving my heart into a chalice of golden filigree light. The heat intensified. As this reached a cresendo, the heat moved down into my womb. My emotional body continued to sob as it attempted to adjust to what was taking place.

The shadows and the light dancing into wholeness.

I was guided to lie down, with my head at the foot of the bed. My eyes were open only to the inner vision of what was taking place. The space was full of beings of light. I was told that the prior four months I had spent in solitude and stillness, had prepared me for this moment. I was to be a vessel for the Christ consciousness to be anchored into the earth plane. It was to come through the feminine form at this time on the earth as a balance to the masculine having birthed it through Jesus. The two friends with me were a gift to me, to assist in the process. Both have told me that they “have my back” and have supported me, time and time again, as I have grown in the light. This was a fufillment of a contract made long ago by our souls. Indeed, it was a birthing for all of us as the trinity energies held true. I knew that all of my lifetimes were a preparation for this present moment.

The clouds of love appearing as the setting sun’s rays reflected over the mountain.

My body began to undulate like the snake, shaking and shuddering. My one friend received a shock from my crown chakra as the energy was released from my head. She placed her Christ consciousness crystal which has a phallic shape on my torso. I felt it working with my inner fires. I then asked for the Mother Shamballa crystal to be placed between my legs. It is a heavy sphere of smoky quartz which my thighs grasped and held as my body continued to undulate in waves. There was an intense sexual energy of creation at work and I sensed the priestesses gathered who had initiated me in this process eons ago. My heart was calibrated with that of our mother earth as well as the Great Central Sun. As that beat was established, I felt the ribbons of lovelight spread to the hearts of humanity and all were held in my embrace. One heart, one love. That is our truth. My voice toned the sounds of birthing. My friends anchored my palms with a touch at the center of each one and assisted with their voices. I was told that I would now see all through the eyes of love, hear with ears of love, taste with the sweetness of love, speak with the tones of love, touch with the sense of love. All my senses were birthed anew through the flame of love. I heard myself saying, “Father into thy hands I commend my spirit.” I felt complete in my mission and I knew my Mother’s/Father’s blessing and joy.

As I came out of this experience, we were able to share our understandings over a celebratory glass of the red wine, sealing what had been birthed. Our talk allowed a fuller picture to emerge. The original triad was of Joseph, Mother Mary and Jesus……the Holy Family. Mary Magdalene came in as the fourth as she was the beloved of Jesus. At that time on the planet, the Christ energies could not be accepted through the feminine though Mary Magdalene carried the consciousness with Jesus and assisted his path to its fruition. The point held above this square was held by Anna, grandmother of Jesus, mother to Mother Mary. She held the feminine field of love at that time long ago as well as now. The bottom point to the diamond was held by Joseph of Arimathea. He was the masculine energy which held and aided the Essene community and provided so much support for the mission of Jesus.

The pink love flames touching down.

The Christ consciousness is not a person but rather a field of consciousness. It is being birthed through the feminine form on the planet now to balance its birthing through the masculine over 2000 years ago. It is neither feminine nor masculine. It is a consciousness of wholeness and oneness. This was reinforced the next day when we went to the crystal bowl shop and spent a couple of hours playing with bowls. I was drawn to the only chalice shaped bowl in amongst the hundreds present. It was of a purple hue, with reflections of magentas, emeralds and blues. It brought through the energies of androgeny. I laughed when told that as it is the next evolutionary step. We come into balance in our being with our own divine masculine and divine feminine and this prepares us to enter into the wholeness which we label androgenous.

I share this story not to glorify myself in any way, rather to illuminate the doorway in your heart that opens to your own Christ consciousness. The earth can now hold this frequency. It is here, birthed through me and so many others and the numbers will increase until all are walking in full Christ mastery. This is the time of magic and miracles that we have waited for. It is the second coming of Christ, not limited to one individual, but rather being birthed through all of our hearts. Ask and be open to receive your birthright. I raise my glass to you in your birthing.

In Lakech, Ala K’in. We are all one.

Clearing the Way for Love

Posted on February 6, 2013 by lovelylinda

Muerte is a potent journey of power into the shamanic death realms.

Life wishes to flow through us in the grandest of ways, when we allow it. The other day, I went for a play-date with a couple of friends and Marie, my new crystal skull friend. We started off listening to Tom Kenyon’s latest shamanic journey through the underworld. He produced it to assist folks in the transitions that are taking place. Some transitioning from this life, others of us dying to former aspects of ourselves or relationships. It took me deep and I did not become aware until he brought us up through the celestial realms. There I found myself on a balcony, gazing out in wonder at a Maxwell Parrish landscape of soft blues, golds, and magentas. Everything was infused with this surreal light that was made of love. Ahhh, I can still feel it when I stop to breathe it in.

This set the stage for what came next. Some talk ensued and our attention was brought to one of the women’s friend who was hosting an ancient entity that was consuming her. The power was intense of this huge reptilian form with powerful claws.I have lived in close quarters with many of these energies in this lifetime. My body started vibrating with the enormity of it and what I sensed we were being asked to do. We took a snack break to fuel our physical forms to be fully grounded. We were directed to go outside to the labyrinth to do our work. One of my friend’s dogs, who is a guardian, stood watch with us.

The toys we love.

I invoked Archangel Michael and his legions of protector angels as well as angels oftruthand love. I felt my voice booming out commands in thunderous tones…..amazing what comes through us as we open to be channels for the light! My friends worked their magic with the crystal bowls as Marie, the skull directed the energy. Later, my friend, who is her guardian, shared that was her main purpose, to clear darkness of any kind. I discovered that she is a master! Timing is off such importance, things line up and a window opens that allows movement. I could feel these ancient entities across the globe that have fed on the light. There was a loosening in that moment and in one fell swoop, the angels gathered these energies up, taking them to their next evolutionary spot. The entities themselves were ready for this, having waited to be embraced by the love, as all of life desires. Oh, my. The relief collapsed my knees as I felt the lightening of energies. I could feel the hearts of so many who have been held captive by these energies. They, too were feeling that weakness as what had become a part of them, was removed.

Our donkey helpers. Thank you!

We then called in the love flame to infill the vacancy left in the hosts’ energy fields. All according to God’s holy will and for the highest good of all. The lightening on the planet was palpable. I was suddenly exhausted, my body weak from the power that had just run through it. We thanked Marie, the crystal bowls, the rocks of the labyrinth, the earth, the angels, Archangel Michael with his mighty blue sword, our guardian dog. The two donkeys in the adjacent field let us know that they had participated also and so we petted and thanked them also.

Our angel blessing with a rainbow on top.

As we went out to our car to depart, we were greeted by a beautiful angel in the clouds.The sun was beginning its descent and the sky thanked us for our work. When you call in the forces of light, all will respond with love. Always, life is cooperating for the highest good of all. Each day, in every way, I am shown how this planet is returning to love. Everything is crying out for the love. I could feel compassion and love for these entities where once I felt fear and suffered under their weight. I was shown how love is the mightiest of forces.

I had a dream that night where I was being harassed by a number of women from a tribe that I have been associated with. My former beloved, who is of that tribe, was there. I unzipped my body suit and stood in my full 20 foot light energy and declared, I AM LOVE. The women melted in their fear and the man fell back. I released him to his own process, knowing the dark entity he had carried for ages, had been lifted from him. Now it was for him to walk his way back to the light and love. I blessed him and turned inward to bathe in the lovelight that is truth.

Marie, the powerhouse of love, entraining crystals while she worked her magic.

Marie, the powerhouse of love, with her new pal, the panther. I am discovering that beings come in all forms and this cat is a new one for me. Wow, she does wear that crown with power and is telling me at this moment, that she was assisting in our work. Everything wants to bring in the love!

Play-dates can be wonder filled. When we surrender our will to that of the Creator and asked to be a channel for love, we will be used. I never know the hows or whens but open to the mystery of it all. I feel such gratitude for hearts newly freed to walk their way to love. I am revealing in the lighter energies of our mother. She sings her gratitude as I sing my love to her. We weave our notes in a tapestry of light. We are in the time of magic.

You Want to Change the World? Two Simple Ideas

Posted on February 5, 2013 by lovelylinda

Acknowledgment by another can set our hearts dancing like these sparkles on the water.

We all want to create a world of love. We want to help our fellow man. We want to live in harmony with the earth. I offer two simple practices that can move us there. One to do, one to stop doing. We can begin to make a practice of acknowledgment and we can desist with complaining.

Every sentient thing in this world, wants acknowledgment. We humans, most of all. We want to be seen for who we truly are. Acknowledgment is a powerful gift that we can give one another that feeds our soul in a way that no material gift can. It costs nothing, is a joy to give and the benefits are reflected back to us as we see the other shine their light more brightly. It is true, what you feed, grows. Think of the power of that! We want to live in a world of love so let’s feed that love in one another by acknowledging it in action wherever we find it.

How many of us recall an acknowledgment by another that helped us find our path. Someone might have said, “You are a natural teacher. You are able to engage with everyone, right where they are. That is a gift.” That could have set a person’s career path alight in front of them. I am reminded of a Cameron Diaz movie, In Her Shoes, about two sisters. One is the responsible, successful one and the other is seen as a failure. When the one who has appeared a failure, moves to a new environment with her grandmother and her elderly community, she is seen in a new way. She receives acknowledgment for her gifts and after a time, is able to begin to see herself in a new light. Her world changes from one of despair to one of joy. She comes to know herself as a valuable being with gifts to give.

You may never know how your words of acknowledgment to another might be the pole supporting them in their day, just as this tree is being supported.

That is how powerful acknowledgment can be. It can change our lives. We have not been taught to acknowledge our own gifts, except perhaps those that provide us a living as a career. Let’s expand that and acknowledge the beingness rather than the doingness of another. Every day we witness others being kind, cheerful, thoughtful, courageous, a pillar of strength, joy-filled, loving, playful, fearless…….the list goes on. By taking the time to acknowledge the gift being shown by the other, we allow it to grow more prominently into being. If I acknowledge the patience that the cashier showed to the elderly man in front of me in line, she is more likely to be patient with the next customer. If I am acknowledged as a good listener, I will strive to be a better one. As Mother Teresa said, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

It works with everything. I acknowledge this laptop, that I am typing on, for its many wonderful years of service to me, always being ready to work when I am. I acknowledge and express appreciation to the salamanders (the elementals of fire) for burning so merrily for me this chilly morning. I acknowledge my car for starting up every time I turn the key. I acknowledge the beauty of the sun as it begins its streaks of color across my backyard. As I walk by my fern plant, I caress its fronds in tenderness and gratitude for its lacy beauty. I acknowledge our mother earth for the gift of water that I drink and food that I eat. I talk to everything, acknowledging the gifts they bring into my life. I believe that everything responds, reflecting that love back to me. Our world is full of beings that want to serve us just as our natural impulse is to be of service to others.

Our society provides established routes of service: working at the soup kitchen, donating money to charity, volunteering at a shelter, and the list goes on. What about the things that no one sees, that we can’t point to, to feed our egos? Acknowledgment is one such thing; a low key, quick and easy way to uplift the energies of all about us. How about setting yourself a goal of acknowledging something about someone, known to you and unknown to you, a few times a day. Be on the lookout for behavior that you want amplified in this new world and shine your light on it with your words. I believe that it is a practice that will bring you great rewards. Let’s begin a chain of acknowledgment, spotlighting the good we wish to see grow in this world. It begins with me and with you.

Another simple way to clean up our world: stop complaining. Turn those thoughts to appreciation instead. Our words hold power and we are learning to utilize that power in more mindful ways. Complaints are weighty and our mother earth bears the effect. They are toxic energy that we all have within our power to clean up. It is a choice that we are free to make each moment. Complaining feeds on itself and can become a way of life. The next time something you do not like shows up in your world, take a breath and connect to our mother earth. Feel how you can view the situation with appreciation for what it has to offer you instead of complaining about it. Our mother will smile and send you a wave of appreciation in return.

When you hear folks complain about all the wrongs of this world, smile and share with them a couple of simple ways to make it right. Trust that you are doing something powerful to assist in raising the vibration of this earth by using your words to acknowledge the wonder that you see about you, in people and things and in yourself. I would love to hear your stories of how implementing this practice has impacted your world. I Know it will spread light everywhere you shine it!

Your Inner Child Offers You Strength

Posted on February 4, 2013 by lovelylinda

Imagine yourself as the sweetest child that you are protecting and honoring, each moment.

Imagine yourself as the sweetest child. You are called to honor and protect her in each moment.

This little one has more to say, following on yesterday’s sharing. She has come to me and shown me that she has a strength to offer by allowing us to be the wise and powerful adult that we are. Think of a situation where you gave away your power or allowed someone to shame you. I am recalling a scene where I felt angry and expressed it. The other person involved responded to that anger by describing me as emotionally unhinged, crazy even. Immediately, I collapsed into that little girl who felt ashamed of her feelings. She was told that she was wrong, the feelings were not appropriate. I desired to be a loving person. The tape playing in my mind said a loving person does not express anger. Therefore, I must be unloving. The source of the anger had been deflected by a manipulative move. What if I had instead, taken the hand of my little girl and stood my ground. What if I had expressed her feelings: “This anger has a cause, this is what is not right. This is what is to be addressed.” What if I had refused to wear the suit of shame and brought clarity into the confusion?

By holding the hand of our inner child, we can infuse ourselves with the strength we desire to be. We can be the adult we wished had been there for us during times of trial and pain. We can be the one to scoop up the child and hold them close in an embrace, while dealing in a powerful way with what caused the pain. This may mean letting go of relationships that make us feel less than, feel shamed, feel guilt. It may mean walking away from a situation where your inner child feels unsafe. We have been so entrained to “make nice” that it takes clarity to recognize that we have the freedom and indeed the responsibility to protect ourselves from energies that are not nourishing for us. We are taught to care for others’ feelings before our own. The pleasing center in our brain has been wired to other rather than self.

I am committed to pleasing my little girl, to creating a life and environment where she can thrive. I take full responsibility for myself, for my mistakes. We are often the severest judge of our actions and do not need another to judge us. We are here to support one another. We are to witness with love when we do fall down and pick one another up with tenderness. A child does not learn by punishment but rather by love. When we bring to the surface a place where we made an error, we ask to be met with love. That is what encourages us to be better. If the other meets us with judgment after we have acknowledged our mistake, then we have triggered something in them which is theirs to deal with. We are learning sovereignty, to be aware of what is ours and what belongs to others. So much of what has weighed us down, was never ours. Being sensitives and empaths, we took it on as our own.

As a child, I would step forth to claim responsibility for one of my siblings’ actions. I was protecting the other at the expense of myself. I remember once when my kids were small, I was in the garage when a gust of wind slammed the door. I heard myself say, “I am sorry!” There was no one there, it was an empty space. There was none to blame yet I was ready to take responsibility for the wind!! The words, I am sorry, had become an automatic response for me. That was a watershed moment. The one I lived with, could not say the words, I am sorry nor take responsibility for his actions. He did not have to, as I shouldered it for all. It was all my fault. This was not a kindness to the other nor to myself, as it stifled both of our growth. It took me years to move out from under this condition, that I created, but that garage moment was the first crack in the facade.

How could I have an authentic relationship if I was not willing to show up with all of myself? I hid myself as I did not believe that I was worthy of being cherished. I now desire to be met in my fullness, but that entails, me being my fullness! To have more in life, we must be more of who we truly are. We have been living on a diet of dry toast when buttery, flaky croissants are available. It is time to live large and honor our inner child’s dreams.

Today, make a commitment to your inner child to defend and protect him/her. When you are faced with a situation where you feel unease, grab that child’s hand and stand tall in your knowing of your truth and speak it plainly. There are a hundred subtle ways this presents itself; from attending an event that you are not interested in to please another, to forfeiting your rhythm to match another’s, to listening to gossip about another, to paying more than your share of a bill, it goes on and on. I have done it all as I moved through life other directed and allowed my little girl to continue to feel pain.

This tree so clearly outlined against the sky, knowing its energy fully.

That time is passed. In pleasing myself, first and foremost, I show up authentically in my relationships. I delineate what is mine and what is another’s. I am aware of my energy field as well as others, seeing clearly when they are attempting to move into or take energy from mine. We have to be fully in our own containers in order to live harmoniously. We must take responsibility for the wake we create, not assuming others will clear it for us. As we clear our own fields, we clear the planet. We lift a burden from our mother. It is time to take the hand of our inner child and honor that trust by trusting ourselves. Imagine the world we are set to create!

Soothing Our Inner Child and Setting Ourselves Free

Posted on February 3, 2013 by lovelylinda

Sifting through our buried emotions reminds me of coming upon these bones on a trial in Southern India so long ago. We are asked to reclaim our feelings just as our mother reclaims our bones, freeing all for new growth.

I awoke from a dream where one of my children was crying in distress. My heart is still feeling this as I tune into the earth in these quiet pre-dawn hours. There are many souls in distress as we move more fully into the light. My mother’s heart wishes to enfold all, as I echo our Mother Earth’s heart that holds us all with such love. I hear her intone the age old mother’s sound, “Hush, hush now my child.” Soothing us, as I did my babes, with a hand caressing our brows. February began with that energy for me, a hush from the earth. We are in need of this soothing touch as the love streaming into our planet is touching each of us in such personal ways. Any wall that we had erected about our heart, as a form of defense, is being melted away. Indeed, the light is piercing inward to all the closets and drawers where we stored feelings that we did not know how to handle. It is as if a mighty wind has blown through and we are left with all our belongings tossed on the curb, for all to see. Distress is indeed present as we attempt to gather the feelings up and stuff them back in drawers. But the winds of love have done their job well as the drawers and closets are damaged beyond repair. There is nowhere to hide these feelings, no place to stuff them safely away. Each feeling must be picked up and addressed, one by one. There is no other way. You may believe otherwise and take off running down the road, only to discover all your baggage following you. You may try to throw it on your neighbor’s pile, thinking no one would notice, but it all comes back to land in front of you, once again. You may stand and shout, “This is not mine!” But it all carries your identifying signature. There is no escaping it. Embarrassment, worry, fear, panic, rage, anxiety…..all may arise in response to all these unfelt feelings. Many are sitting on the curb, wailing their laments. Others are begging for help, which is a wonderful first step as our angelic team awaits our call in order to step in. The process must begin and no one can do it for us. It takes our commitment and love to release the stored energy. All of it wishes to be freed back to the reality of love that it truly is. All of our feelings arose to assist us in our growth. We were misled, taught to store feelings that felt too powerful, too awful, too raw, into our beautiful bodies. We were taught to erect a shell about our heart in order to be safe. We were taught that we were not strong enough nor good enough to face the world straight on.

We are strong enough. We are good enough. Say that out loud to yourself a few times: I am good enough. I am good enough. I am good enough. How does that feel? Do you believe yourself? Hold that thought and pick up the first feeling in the pile you see lying in front of you. Oh my, it is from my twenty- two year old self, who has just listened to her mother screaming; “Who do you think you are? You will never get that knight in shining armor you seem to think is coming!” Breathing it in, recalling my mother’s pain when I refused a marriage proposal. Oh, this was about her desires and disappointments, not mine. I let the feelings go through, compassion arose, for all her dreams that had not come true. A smile burst forth in my being, I AM going to be met in love. It has not happened yet, but the knowing of its arrival is strong in me. I am worth dreaming big for, I am going for the gold in love. With that, the feeling of pain disappeared. One down, what is next? Oh, this is my three year old self who realizes that she is not to play, but rather be responsible for her siblings. I feel the pressure to keep them safe from the angry adults but am so small myself. I hold her and tell her that I will watch out for the others and she can scamper off to play. She can be the child.

The lightness we feel when we allow our inner light to shine!

One by one, we are the adults who can now clear up all this debris. It is possible to have fully open, spacious hearts, allowing each moment a wide field of love in which to unfold. We can choose to feel every now moment completely. If pain arises, I can sit as witness to that pain. I can open my heart field of peace and allow it to be enfolded. There is nothing to fear. This field of love can handle guilt, shame, sorrow, grief…….all of it can be projected onto its screen and viewed as the cry for love that it is. We can sit back and watch it and let it go, ready to view the next scene. We do not have to replay a scene over and over. That is the old way and it got us nowhere. By being the viewer, the observer, we allow the scenes to come and to go. This pile of unresolved feelings begins to disappear. Our hearts grow lighter and we move with new freedom in our bodies. Massage and other body work can be helpful to dislodge deeply embedded emotions. I have sobbed on a yoga mat as a movement released some feeling as well as on a massage table. A loving voice of a friend, can provide a release as can a piece of music. There are so many avenues open to us to welcome these feelings in and allow them to release back to the love. Acknowledgment from another, validating what you experienced, can be liberating but is not always available. I did not have that opportunity with my parents but give it freely to my children, apologizing for harmful behavior that my awareness now allows. I give it freely to myself, playing the parental role.

We are only as conscious in the moment, as we are. This thought can bring freedom as we let others off the hook, knowing that they did the best that they could at the time. That thought has helped me through many a dark night. The majority of humans want to be good, do good, bring good to others. They give as much as their woundedness allows. We are poised to create a new earth, we need to bring our wholeness to the task. That means we must take the hand of our inner child, soothe them and strengthen them so that our actions reflect our inner field of peace, acceptance, and love. So, pop a batch of popcorn, sit on the sofa and begin the viewing of all that is ready to depart. See it, feel it, love it and release it. Consider it your earthwork, recycling heaviness into light. Our mother will be smiling at you with such love and gratitude.

Liquid Love Light

heart whispering, sound healing, writings, art

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