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Finding My Sea Legs in These Shifting Times

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The deep blue sea.....

As we move between dimensions, it can be tricky to find our sea legs. In the way of the now, I spoke of wanting to sail, a man with a sailboat overheard me and I went for a ten hour sail down the coast. The wind did not cooperate to allow the sails to have much play so it was mainly a motoring ride, yet I was out there on the rolling seas. The first couple of hours, it took all my concentration to keep the horizon in view and my stomach in check. It felt reminiscent of times on this awakening path, when it took everything I had, to simply stay upright and in form. On the surface, no action at all, yet underneath, every fiber of my being, engaged.

At the helm, steering through the channel into the safety of the harbor.

At some point, my stomach took over and emptied its emptiness. I then felt great, free to relax and look about and enjoy the scenery. As with life, I later went below to get some warmer gear as a cold front came through and in the rocking, lost my apple that I had felt good enough to consume. I have faced many a rocky time and lost my moorings. Once above deck, bundled in my down jacket, I felt on top of the world! I love that I fall down, I get up and allow my inner sun to shine once again. I was on an adventure! It was not with the four sails all unfurled as my imagination had envisioned and the sailor had thought probable, but I was out on the ocean, playing with the elements. I want to live this way every moment, upchucking old beliefs and ways of being and opening myself to what is there to be had.

I gained an appreciation for the men and women who venture our to sea to fish each day.

I am grateful to the dear man who allowed this inexperienced sailor aboard and showed me such kindness. I am grateful to my adventuring self who took the opportunity offered despite much not knowing of the person or situation but trusting in the feeling of it all. As I drifted in and out of sleep on the rocking waves, my being was delighting in the closeness of the watery realms and the expansion that I felt. I had a couple of nights of rest on the boat, listening to the rain on the hatch above me and feeling the gentle rocking of the water. I was planning on staying another night when the energy shifted and I could feel the need for movement. I took a three bus trip up the coast to arrive back where my car awaited me. I had felt my elder son in my need for movement and later when we spoke, it made sense as he was called to stillness for a deep process and my movement helped to facilitate it. Oh, the levels that we are working on! Again and again, I surrender to my inner promptings and follow with alacrity. Often unaware of why or what.

I came back to the pursuit of a place to live. I sent out emails and phone calls to craigslist and newspaper ads. I felt unhappy about the process, it felt heavy. I kept hearing the message that I could sleep for a week. I felt so drained from all of the last month of my life. I cannot even recall what it entailed but it felt big, energy wise. I had a day of vulnerability, of tears, of confusion. I wanted a mother who would take me in and cradle me in her arms. I felt adrift from Spirit and guidance, stuck in the mud of my own misery. My son reminded me to allow it all play, to love it and let it flow through. It was all illusion wanting some air time. Wah! I wanted only to be the baby and cry my heart out.

Beautiful Oregon coastline

Sleep is a magical thing. I awoke the next morning and decided to do nothing about looking for a place. rather to be fully present to the place where I was. I am staying with dear friends who have opened their home and hearts to me. What a wonderful gift! I had a magical day. I scrubbed a cupboard, my friend gave me an incredible massage, I napped and awoke to go lie in the sun, on her passion vine bed (yes, she has the vine growing over an old metal bed frame and springs, so delightful!), we went to dinner, walked on the beach, ate an ice cream cone.  I allowed myself to let go of the idea that I was a burden, that I might be overstaying my visit, that I was in the way.

beaches everywhere

I see today that is part of these times. Allowing ourselves to be fully present with ourselves and know ourselves as the divinity we are. To trust ourselves to speak our truth and others to speak theirs. To accept the generous offers of hospitality with grace rather than fears. To trust my higher self to be guiding me always to my highest good, despite what the surface circumstances appear to be. To trust each one’s role in these changing times. Some of us have been guided to let go of hearth and home, others to offer that soft landing spot. All are of value. My personality felt more comfortable in the hostess role yet my soul is in need of the receiving as it discovers the truth that it is a two way exchange. And when it is not, I am learning the discernment necessary to depart and move on in my joy.

We are living betwixt and between dimensions. We feel the excitement that something new is on the horizon. It truly is a case of finding our sea legs as we enter this new landscape. To step forward and experience without attachment, to explore with an open heart, to trust in the earth and Source to see to our well being. We are becoming gods and it is a challenging and exciting prospect! I am treating myself with such gentleness and tenderness today. I trust you are doing the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Landing In

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Beautiful coastline of Oregon

For years, I have had a vision of landing in a small town on the coast that would become my home. I am close! Yes, after three years of traveling about, it feels that I may have honed in on the area that has been calling me. I have a vision of a house on a cliff, looking out over the ocean. I am in the process of searching for that place. I cannot tell you the excitement and joy that I feel as I feel into the air and water.

A better view of our creation!

I had heard of an etheric city of light that resides off shore here. Some call it the Crystal Palace, others the City of Gold. It is made up of pink crystals (yes, I am such a lover of pink as I work on the pink rose line and carry one in my heart). Yesterday, a dear friend took me to the beach that has the closest access to the rocks that mark the entrance to this city. They are off shore aways. We sat and toned our love out to the city. It felt wonderful as the sea wind whipped our hair about and sent our voices flying. I called another friend on the east coast to join in and create a trinity of sound. Later we danced on the shore and splashed in the freezing water. As sleep took me down on the sand, I asked to be allowed inside the city. I was blessed with a vision of it. I was taken underwater by a dolphin and came up inside a huge crystal cavern. There were steps carved out of the pink rock that I walked up. I was handed a towel and dressed in a beautiful gossomar pink gown. I made my way to a huge hall upstairs. I glanced over to the left and saw my beloved sitting there at a table. He came forward and took my hand. I was stunned and could hardly speak. He asked if I wanted a tour and I was so surprised to discover that parts of it were like the home I have visualized so often. He told me that was because it was my home. He reminded me that we were married. He asked if I had forgotten our wedding. I said, no but I have not seen you since. He assured me that he has not left me. My mind was struggling with all of this information, not able to make heads nor tails of it. He said, “Let go of the mind, feel it with your heart.” Deep breath. OK, I can do that.

Both of our end pieces of wood had holes in them that acted as portals for the energy to flow.

I awoke on the beach with a deep sob. Oh, it is not easy to go between these dimensions at times. My heart has to expand and then let go of any wanting the experience to remain. Deep breath to return to gratitude for the gift that I had just received. I am thankful! My friend and I gathered rocks, shells and driftwood to create an altar of love to send our energy of appreciation out to the city, It was so fun to build it. This is how it will feel in the new….like child’s play, simple. Yet so powerful as the energy transmitted through our arrangement was very powerful, flowing out to the city and back again and then out to the earth. We truly are so powerful!

Now to see the place my angels find for me. LIfe is becoming more magical and I am so glad!

Ode to Joy!

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This peony is singing its song!

This just came in my inbox and it lifted my spirits so!

http://www.youtube.com/watchv=kbJcQYVtZMo&feature=youtu.be

I could see that this is what the new earth will be like. Each of us following an inner instinct to come and play our part at the perfect time! Oh, I cried at this, the wonder of the time we are in. I loved the children dancing with the joy of it. Feeling it so fully that their feet had to skip with it. To return to that childlike expression of  joy!

The call has gone out. We are being called to the higher expression of ourselves. We are asked to find our note to sing. Everything is coming into a harmonic whole as we find that wholeness in ourselves. There has been no greater time to be alive on this beautiful earth as we are witnessing the birth of a new world.

It is messy at times as we go through our pains and struggles to move from our higher natures. We fall down. We get up again. There are blood and guts and tears and laughter along the way. Just like a real birth, all the elements so fully present. We forgive ourselves, We forgive one another. We move on in this new dance, realizing that there is nothing to learn, rather it is to feel it all so fully and be moved by it. This song moved me and allowed the joy to flow. Enjoy……in joy!

Time to Close the Door

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What a time the past 24 hours has been! Huge ahas. I am so grateful how all of life conspires for my growth and expansion. I have been working with the issue of honoring myself. June saw me addressing folks in my life where dishonoring was a part of the pattern. Some doors opened in a new way once the dishonoring had been acknowledged, whereas others presented themselves to be closed. This last one was very powerful as once again I found myself outplaying a sacred drama from the time of Jesus. It involved the sisters, Mary and Martha.  As my understanding goes, Martha was not kind to Mary, and there were instances of betrayals and dishonoring. When Jesus came to visit, Mary prepared herself through meditation to receive him whereas Martha busied herself cleaning the house. Martha was angry at Mary for not taking a more active role. Jesus spoke to Martha and told her that Mary had chosen the better path as she recognized and honored the light with her inner presence rather than busying herself with the outer forms.

The archetype was brought up by the person I was with which was so wonderful as on some level, it was presented to both of us to allow the healing.  I was able to feel all the pain of Mary and let it move through me. It was not easy nor an instant process, indeed I spent many sleepless hours trying to make sense of the pain I felt. Finally, I accepted that I could choose to honor myself and be done with this energy once and for all. I saw how this one event allowed me to clear this energy from not only this lifetime, but from all other lifetimes. I can choose to close the door on people and situations that do not feel honoring to who I am. I have done this many times in my life, quite fearlessly, and yet this one was a turning point. I held the hand of all my soul aspects that have suffered this feeling and let them know that time is past. I am here and will see to it that does not happen again.

Freedom at hand as I fully open the door to my own beauty and light.

Whew, freedom flew in and I saw this as being the keystone in the bridge to my ascension. It is time to close the doors to all the places where we are giving our energy away or allowing it to be leaked. I saw that I had spent much of this life, absorbing negative emotions from others and because I was “strong”, I could keep the door open for them to awaken and move towards their own light. I now see that as an arrogant attitude. What was I thinking?? It is not my job to hold anything for anyone. That energy breeds resentment from others which is a rightful reaction. We are such freedom loving beings and we want to do it our way, by ourselves! Everyone’s higher self is on the job, making sure that their life constantly presents the opportunities for expansion. I had been taking on God’s job and in that, not tending to my own garden of growth. That time is over as I need every ounce of my energy, for my inner growth. I pulled out my sword and drew a line in the sand, stating to the universe that I would no longer allow any distraction in my life that takes me for even a moment from this path of ascension. I have no time to waste.

I searched my energy field to see if there were any others that I was still holding an opening for. I found one remaining. I lovingly and gently called my energy back. I cut all ties and cords and called back every bit of my energy that I had left in anyone, thing,  or place throughout all time, space and dimensions. Come home! I need all of me to once again out picture the master that I am.

When we allow any of our energy to be open to another, we allow a pathway for chaos to enter. The energy on the planet that is not interested in my ascension and return to power, will work through the unconscious aspect of a person to create drama, confusion and discord. It is not personal to the person but rather they are being used to transmit this discordant energy. Right now, there is so much chaotic energy and fear floating around, it is a hey day for it. I have to be mindful as it is truly my own unconsciousness that allows anything to enter to harm me in any way. I have to be aware of the energy that I allow in my field and what it is doing as well as what I am doing. The time of being asleep to any aspect of ourselves is departing. As our power returns, we must be conscious in its use to create for our highest good and the highest good of all.

The inner path is one we must traverse alone.

We are taught to care for others in a backwards way. In truth, we must care for ourselves, first and foremost. The highest gift that we can offer another is that of our own joy. We must tend our own inner garden and stop playing in that of others. It is time to close the door on energies that drain us, whether that be our child, a friend, a relative. It is time to set our boundaries, close the garden gate and go within to that peace and joy that awaits our attention. God is within, quietly waiting for us to notice. Society has created rules of the game to keep us from our truth, from finding our source of power. We are raised to be outer directed, to be the good daughter, good friend, good employee and to neglect ourselves. It is time to expose that lie for what it is. To take back our power, to listen to our own song and dance to its beat. Ascension is a path taken alone. No one can do it for you, no one can travel with you. It is my walk with God, and no other.

I feel called to the starting gate. Places everyone! I feel this call like a clap of thunder and want to shake everyone with its import. Ascension is at hand and the changes begin in earnest now. Do not wait or hesitate but close the doors on all that distracts and open the door to your heart. It is the gateway true, as it takes us home. We are being called.

 

 

 

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Anxiety on the Rise

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Beautiful bridge as I drove into Vancouver. Like two ships sailing the waters.

As our planet is being blessed with energies pouring in from our sun as well as other star systems and planetary bodies, the levels of anxiety are rising. We are being gifted with energies that speed up our vibrations, which will eventually allow us greater ease and movement in all of our bodies; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. This is an amazing gift. But right now, it may feel like anything but!

LIke this photo, the mast head could be likened to our crown chakras where the light streams in . It then is filtered down through our bodies’ circuitry to enliven all of our cells. I am a transducer, along with many others, allowing the current to be stepped down through my body so as to be more accessible for the  masses. So on a high energy day like yesterday, I was in reclining mode as all my being was fully engaged in this process.

I love how the clouds move and change throughout the day. It is time to allow that fluidity into all aspects of our lives.

As the light floods in, the debris rises to the surface to be sloughed off. It is a cleansing process. This is where the anxiety kicks in. The ego self feels that it is about to lose its job and it is fighting to stay in control. Our higher selves are moving in to bring us to unity consciousness while the ego strives to maintain its separation. The ego cannot win as we are coded to evolve and move into oneness. You can help your ego out of its anxiety by having a conversation with it. I never understood the notion of eliminating the ego. It has served me well when it was in charge and I have expressed my gratitude. I then let Henry (yes that is my name for him) know that he had reached retirement age. I gave him the gold watch for a job well done and introduced him to Sophia, my higher self, who now runs the show. For the most part, Henry has been gracious in his retirement though occasionally he throws out some advice which I thank him for, reminding him that he is free to drift along now, not concerning himself with the workings of my days. He has grown to be fond of Sophia and admits that she is skilled in running my show.

There is a clearing that is taking place to allow room for the new aspects of ourselves to enter in. We are in the process of bringing our entire soul group into this body. We can invite in all the highest vibrational aspects from all of our many lives and make use of our myriad gifts garnered throughout time and space. How fun is that!!! The anxiety arises in the letting go. The fear that we are losing something instead of the joy of all that is to be gained. This is being outpictured through the loss of jobs, relationships, homes, security. The outer structures of society are crumbling, forcing us to go inside for some connection. This is all part of the plan to move us from an outer directed world to an inner directed one where we know our connection to Source.  All of our security is internal. We were taught to look outside to social security, an insurance policy, dollars in the bank, a corporation as the means of survival in this world. Now the pendulum has swung and we must face ourselves in a new way.

Two insects mating, i moved them outside and they did not register my interference at all. They were so fully in their moment that the outer disturbance held no import for them.

To let go, we must trust that there is something better coming our way. We let go of old angers and find the freedom as love flows. We let go of focusing on the ills of the world and discover the peace of the space around us. We let go of possessions and discover the lightness that brings. We let go of trying to control other people’s lives and discover that we have work to do in our own. We let go of seeking answers outside of ourselves and  discover the wisdom within. Everything that we seek, can be found within our own being.

So as the anxiety rises up in your being, greet it with a smile. Thank it for alerting you that things are different. That much is falling away, that much is crumbling. Rejoice in this news and surrender to the dismantling of the old way of living. Allow the new to flow through you and see where it takes you. Stay in the moments, feeling each emotion fully and then releasing once again. The in breath and out breath. We are being newly born. Treat yourself  with the upmost tenderness and care. We are birthing our divinity. What a sight we are!

I AM Being Reborn in a New Way

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A new vista, a new day!

I awoke just now and throughout the night with that phrase playing in my head. I Am being reborn in a new way! I am a new being in a new land. My gratitude is immense for this gift! I have waited a lifetime, no, many lifetimes for this moment.  It is symbolic that today, the Fourth of July, is the celebration of the birthday of my country, and I am feeling this rebirth of  myself.

July has arrived with a flurry of energy. I am reminded over and over to trust in divine timing in all aspects of my life. When I am aligned and present in the moment, the magic enters with such ease and grace. On the first of July, I experienced waves of high anxiety running through me. I was trying to trace its source while I was fully feeling each wave. These waves came in the midst of a high energy two day wedding of my nephew. It was an Indian wedding with Japanese culture added to the mix so quite a spectacle of sights and sounds as their two family cultures merged.The family ancestral lines were open to be cleared from both cultures. I was aware of much energy moving and shifting. After a late night, I awoke early to the most intense waves of anxiety I had ever experienced. Off the charts! I knew it was something to do with myself and two of the dearest hearts to me. I sent out a call for help and a dear friend came to anchor me as the waves crashed within.

The Beloved painting that I created for the newlyweds. The Rumi quote is: "I want your sun to reach my raindrops so your heat can raise my soul upward like a cloud."

The divine mother came in and showed me what was taking place. The three of us created a trinity that was now in full motion. I held the mother flame as another held the father flame. The third carried the Christ energy and the moment had arrived for that energy to be anchored openly on the earth plane. As mother and father, we had nurtured and protected that flame and now it was to be released in its full glory. A fourth had also played the protector role to this bearer of Christ light in the years leading up to this time. The one chosen to be the father had abdicated his role and his son stepped in as father. I love the way the universe ensures that all will come to rights, whether we step in to our roles or not. There is always a back up plan and there is no judgment if we choose another path. The third, the bearer of this Christ light, fearlessly stepped in. I witnessed the planetary grid light up as his essence streamed forth. My mother’s heart felt all the emotions of Mother Mary when Jesus’ light entered into the world. Knowing that it would be distorted, misunderstood, tried and tested. Knowing that the Christ light stood in loving vulnerability to the world, as any type of protection was not a part of its essence. The Christ light is pure love. Waves of grief rolled in as the weight of the sacred drama of the past was released to allow this love to move in its purity. Trusting that this one so dear to my heart, was up to the task and no longer needed to be shielded by the mother’s protective heart of love. As my mother’s heart cried out, he sent a wave of such loving assurance, that my friend was stunned by its impact. He said, “All is as it should be. I am ready. The time is now. Have no fear as I was born for this moment. Be at peace. ” His pure love spread around the planet as a flame. The time is now, the earth is prepared to hold these energies once again and this time there shall be no distortion.

The designs projected on the ceiling in the wedding room.

I and the one acting as father,  had held the polarity in our beings as we awaited this moment, knowing it was to come. And yet the surprise that it was now, that we are here in this landscape of the new. The Christ light enters for us all. As this light went forth, it acted as a trigger for many souls, alerting them that it was now time to release their bodies and energies and step through the door to the other side of the veil. Each one knew this as their contract. It is what their souls offered to assist in bringing in the new age. We each have our part to play in this most magical of times. I could feel the anxiety as this information was carried to the individuals as well as that of their loved ones who were sensing their imminent departure. It moved through me in waves of tears as it felt like there would be hundreds of thousands taking their leave. I knew it was all part of the divine plan yet felt the fear, anxiety and grief as the trigger was pulled. The beauty of their gift of departure was fully felt as it clears the way for the new light vibrations to enter in. I honored their gift through my body as I sobbed and shook with the waves of energy.

After this high voltage light moved through me, I was limp. Spent. My friend, who knows me intimately, said that she had no idea this was what I was working on.  Yes, I have been blessed to have been cloaked, to have worked under cover of my Father/Mother’s love these past years. Now that cloak has been thrown aside and my heart must stand on its own, beaconing its light to the world. The same is true for these hearts so dear to me. We have removed our cloaks, sheathed our swords (an act of courage for this heart!) to stand naked in the flames of love.

The mehendi design on my hand, part of the Sangeet ceremony.

As a people, we had to have moved past the guru time when the impulse to deify the Christ light was present. We had to grow enough in ourselves to recognize this light as our own. To feel it light up inside our own hearts and reflect the beauty there. To own this light as our power and not give it away to another. This has ever been my prayer, since my own awakening, that each one would discover the beauty of their own heart’s light and fan that flame. That each would tend the altar of their own heart and know it as the source of all nourishment and love. With this unveiling of the Christ light into the crystalline grid that surrounds our earth, all have access. We are being supported to bring this light into our beings and know our own Christhood. That was ever Jesus’ message that was usurped by the church as a means of control. There is no controlling one who answers to their own authority as the Christ. This is our birthright, to be the Christ. To emanate that love into the world. It is not for the elect, it is for all. We are all invited to sup at this table, to imbibe this light and become it.

All is internal. The sacred is found within. Acceptance is found there as is strength and courage. The wedding saw me facing a family that had rejected me after my divorce five years ago. I was placed on the do not call list and felt its sting after 25 years of being a member. Yet, I had never resonated with this group, though I spent many years trying to make myself fit in. I honor my nephew for extending the invitation when it would have been easier for all to not have done so. It was a joy to be in its midst, no longer looking for acceptance from this tribe, rather knowing how fully accepted and valued I am. There is such freedom in this!

The first night was a bit rocky for me as the triggers came as I felt the unease my presence created. There was in me, a young woman, a middle aged woman and all the ages in between, yearning to be seen and validated by this family. This is when friends of the soul are so valuable. A call the next morning cleared it for me as she reminded me that it was all for created by me, for me.  Every thought that was triggered was there for me to feel and release fully. To burn up in the flame of love with such gratitude for each player who gave the awkward hug and then rushed away in confusion. She helped me to see it all as energy given me to feast upon. To have no judgment of it, rather to watch it work its magic on me. I was being so gifted! The wedding day itself found me enjoying the moments in greater fullness of understanding. I wore a sari that I had purchased in India for a wedding I attended. I had forgotten how beautiful it was and the beauty that I felt while wearing it. The divine feminine goddesses infilled me as I donned my garment. I was imbued with their grace. Grace……how it fills my life. We are so cherished, so loved, cared for at every turn. This wedding was for me to heal old wounds, to clear the past and write a new story. To allow the river of love to flow, knowing that was all that was required of me.  I have grown in my ability to see myself in a new light. I am empowered, I am standing in my truth. I am awake to who I am. My magnificence thrills me as I breathe deep and clear all that I am no longer. My heart offers up its chalice, wanting it to be so clear, so polished, so empty of self, so well crafted in beauty as to be worthy of the Creator’s love. The Creator has always held us as worthy, as divine, as part of the whole. Our task is to know this in each cell in our bodies and beam that knowing into the world.

I raise my cup to my two dear hearts who have played their parts with such grace. I am honored to be in their company. I celebrate our trinity. I celebrate the fourth who sheltered this flame for many years and then stepped aside when the timing was right. I celebrate the one who abdicated his role and the one who stepped in. I celebrate this bearer of the Christ light who has held to this purity through the years. I celebrate this new life that has been gifted each of us. I walk this sacred path in awe and delight for its mystery. I hold each of you in love and appreciation for your hearts that are playing your parts so well. Espavo.  (It means thank you for taking your power). As well as Namaste (I bow to the divine in you.)

My Mountain Magic Continues

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The magic mountain that has captured my heart.

These days with Mount Shasta continue to be so full. I am expanding and expanding in her/his light. I drove to the end of the road this morning to commune with the energy. I hiked up a ways till I came to a rock that was carved to fit my body. I sat and closed my eyes and allowed the mountain to fill me. My open palms began to tingle as they were filled with violet light. The energy moved to my lips that felt alive with the kiss that a gentle breeze pressed close. I laughed at being kissed by a mountain but was assured that it was true. I have taken the mountain inside of me as I surrendered to her/his wisdom.

Up close and personal.

I was shown that I now carry the mountain’s energy in a new way. I will move as a mountain and wherever Spirit directs my path, I will bring the anchoring, steady presence of deep peace and unwavering strength. Those who know me, know my Spirit can be bubbly and quick but this is a new infusion that is gracing my life. I can feel the chaos storm clouds in the air but I am to tone my tone and anchor deep within the mountain’s air that now moves with me. There are many mountains in the land, this deep anchoring occurring for a tribe of us who came here to hold it all as the tension grows. Our hearts are mighty and our roots strong as we put forth our song that all is well and all will be well in this world of ours. We are holding open the ascension gates for the masses to pass through. Many are yet unaware that there be gates at all but soon their hearts will show them where to turn.

Joy flowing in all my cells.....singing!

The excitement is building as my heart shows me the truth beyond the surface chaos. We are moving into the time of creating our deepest desires through our hearts’ fire. We each add our piece as we imagine the world that we wish to live in. Dream big! This is our time. A friend called to ask my opinion of an opportunity that came to her. Her heart felt joy filled excitement as she took it in. Later her head began its dialogue of the old work ethic; you must stay in one place, establish yourself, slowly build your business by being responsible and dependable. It takes time, you cannot be running off to take a joy break!

Fiery sky saying goodnight.

Yes, this has been true in our past but no longer holds. We are creating through our joy, truly it is by living in the moments and filling each one to the brim with our joy, that we bring through our dreams. We are being asked to create in an entirely new way. I have no rule book, there are no guidelines to follow of how to work this magic. Yet, I know that this ability is mine and each day look forward to practicing my craft, grateful for Spirt that cares for my body’s needs.  We are encoded to evolution and are ever moved on that path. In each day, there are opportunities for joy, it depends so on the lens you choose to wear. I have always been a rose colored glasses kind of gal!

My tent just fit in this space created by five trees. I offered tobacco at their feet and have slept blessed and deep.

And what of our hearts’ desires? Many teach how to use the law of attraction to bring material things. As most have discovered, things do not happiness bring. I have dropped the word money and speak of it all as energy, abundance. I open myself to receive abundance on every level. I go into the feeling of what I want and see myself living in a place where each person I meet is one who can look deep into my eyes and our hearts can commune in the sweet music of home. Where all are loved and valued for their unique tone. Where my heart leaps up each morning with the sun, eager to see love manifesting in all things. Knowing all are cared for, there is no want. Co-creating our vision of Eden reborn. Feeling loved in every fiber of my being and being that love in the world. Knowing that I am seen as I see others for their truth and their light. No outer appearances to deceive as all is known in this radiant light. As a people, we all share the basic desire to be loved and to love. To know our place in our tribe, to add our note to the song. We have let go of things and search for the feelings found in peace and lovelight.

Pure waters flowing out of the mountain that taste like crystal light.

May your moments be filled with the love that wells inside. Each of us has been blessedwith this well of love. It may take drilling and clearing and you may have to go deep. But rest assured, the well is there, ready to be tapped so that you can drink in the liquid lovelight. An elixir so rare, hidden so near. Who knew? Dive in, drink deep and share this light.

Embracing All of Ourselves

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Image from yesterday of Mount Shasta that captures some of the magic that I took part in.

Mount Shasta called me back to experience the OM crystal as it was activated. I felt it as a blast in my body that required a retreat from the darkening cold of the day. I awoke in the night with a belly swollen and cramped as the light sought integration in my body.  I flipped open a book and   came upon this poem that spoke to my heart.

Grief

Reading poems
I question the grief

still in process moving through my belly,
the stiff contours of my throat, the shaking

that lives in back of my thighs, calves,
extreme targets of energy having rested

there for years burrowing in with my mind
saying do not feel, push down and now

nowhere to go except to feel
the slim connection still there, joy

remains behind and underneath
the grief as i allow grief to flow

out, acknowledging yes I have been
too long in pain.

-John Joseph Crimmins

( I could find no personal information on this poet and ask his indulgence to reprint it here.)

Dear hearts braving the cold to come together in honoring this Holy Mountain of Shasta.

I see so many folks in the throes of this pain that is crying out for release. Our bodies will no longer carry this burden, instead they are demanding to be lightened. Our freedom is at hand as all around I hear the nervous laughter and laments, “I am being shredded”, “all is falling apart”, “we are in the fiery furnace”, “my life is out of control”. We are letting go of this stored grief that we had thought so cleverly hidden that none would ever find. I was surprised to find how I had hid lumps of it, deep within my cells. It is the great unmasking as we shed our false selves to come with our bruised and battered hearts to the mirror of ourselves. The mirror asks of us, “Will you love me without the mask? Will you find me acceptable despite my blackened face? Can you see the light in me and love me yet?”

Yes and yes again. I embrace each lump of coal, each sorrow that could not be borne, each arrow that had embedded in my frame. Now is the call to be the warriors of the heart that we are. To acknowledge our mastery, our mysterious natures created from sinew, bone and thought. Our bodies are rejecting the role of landfill of our lives. They are wanting to glow with our heartlight, to dance with fluid expression, to fill with the Christos, the light from on high. Quick, let us be about the plucking of those arrows of shame and remorse, dig out the pockets of betrayal, scrap away the unworthiness and haul up the leaden buckets of not enough love.

Gold, blue, browns.....our mother dazzling in her light.

Our earth has been drilled and filled with toxins aplenty. Our hearts lament, and wish to take action. We look outside ourselves for a cause to join to appease our aching hearts. As in all things, we have been trained to look everywhere but to the one source. It is inward, always has been, in each and every thing. I have made of my body, a dumping ground of the most toxic of thoughts and emotions. I wore my mask well so that none might smell the stench of decaying darkened moments. We spend inordinate time and money to dress well, attend to the hairs on our head, cover our scents with perfumes all the while, the inner dross grows in its darkness. To clear the toxins from our mother’s heart, we must clear our own. This is the work of the now moment. To free ourselves to be the light and beauty that we are. To retrace the steps to each moment of darkness that we could not face. To call upon our angels and star families to take our hands and help us do this thing before us.

It is time to claim stewardship over the microcosm of our beings so as to be enlightened stewards over the macrocosm of this mother of ours.

Many have been in the process of clearing households, letting go of possessions, feeling the freedom that comes from owning less and thereby, having more. This is the next step, to do the internal housekeeping with a loving heart. To embrace each shadow with a heart felt hug, to greet all with a smile of welcome. There is no time to wait. There is no agency to call upon. This task awaits each one. Trust to your courage, your fortitude and call on your team to guide the way. But begin, we must.

As you clear, ask for each cell now vacant to be filled with your own light. Each of us has a storehouse that is larger than our homes, larger than our cities, larger than this dear planet! Yes, you are that light, that love. Call it forth into your newly prepared rooms. The Creator is asking to take up residence in your heart and mine. He/She cannot enter when we have packed all the rooms and shut the doors. The love is wanting to enter in. Toss the judgments out and make room. This is a window given in love, take it in love and run with it. Breathe deep and ask. You will be shown where and how to begin.

A life of lightness and such love awaits. You will no longer need anyone nor anything to assure you that you are OK, that you are acceptable, that you are anything but the love that will course through your veins. This I know to be truth and my heart rejoices in it. Let the river of love flood through your being and your life will be transformed. We will then see true magic as our earthly mother dons her garments of light once again. Do you see? We have held the keys all along. We are the creators of our reality. Which world do you chose to live in? If you choose peace, harmony, abundance for all……make sure you are all these things and it shall come to pass.

The Aftermath

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I love Mount Shasta!

The day after the Solstice, I awoke in my tent to a great fatigue in my body. Wow, it almost felt as if the energies had fried me! I managed to get up to go to the bathroom but returned to lie down. I thought of the juiciness of an orange in my pack but let that thought drop as I felt too tired to peel it. Now that is fatigue! I decided to stay in my tent until the heat of the sun would drive me out. It was a beautiful day but I felt almost too fragile to be out in the elements. As the sun made its warmth felt, I crawled out to contemplate where I could continue to recline without ants swarming over me.

A phone call altered the course of my day as I decided to make the drive to Sacramento for the weekend. A friend had planned on joining me to camp, that fell through, rain and cold were forecast for the weekend, my son was not well and could use some tending and I wanted to make a piece of art as a wedding gift for my nephew and his bride. So, following the flow as the stream twisted and turned, I packed up my camp. I love how easy it is these days to be unattached to the whats, wheres, whys and hows of life! To be fully present with an open heart and tune in to the energies of the moment.

My man, El Morya

The four hour drive flew by, fortunately driving is relaxing for me. I tone and sing and have some of my best meditative times in Maxie. I had purchased a powerful picture of El Morya that I placed on my dash and communed with on the drive.  He might appear stern but I know his heart that is so passionate with God’s will and love. I laughed to remember my second sacred marriage vision where I was stating my readiness and calling for my scepter, my crown and robe. As you can see, these are pretty standard adornments for our ascended master selves! I know this sounds fantastical to many, but I am following my prompting here to share such imagery as it is the truth of who we are that we are growing into. We are being asked to expand into the truth of our beings and believe me, we are beings of great light.

Today was the rest day after my drive. Happy to be in the comfort of a house (thank you former hubby for this safe landing spot) with my son. I have not spent any time out of doors really as the sun felt too intense, the wind a bit too pushy……I did get dressed to attend a women’s group with a friend. On the drive to her house to carpool, I suddenly knew that the energies were too chaotic for me to be out and about. I felt tearful and tired and knew that I needed stillness, comfort and a long nap. My friend understood as what else can we do in these times but respond to the  needs of our bodies that are such amazing beings. We are transforming internally on a scale that would boggle our minds if we could but see it. I am so grateful for how well this dear body handles all that is thrown at her. I was so grateful to be home, to rest, to stare out at the trees and light.

The stillness of the pond from our weekend retreat is still with me.

There will be time in the future where my energy is a steady stream that I can move upon but for now, I flow with its ebbs and currents. To have no fixed agenda, to allow my highest good to present itself each moment, to follow my heart’s promptings and let it stir me to tears as I feel the love enfold me. To dance internally with the diamond of my heart. I am blessed.

Solstice on the Mount Shasta

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Up close and personal.....taken from Panther Meadows

The Summer Solstice was a magical day coming as it did on the heels of much clearing. I had spent the weekend at an event with 13 wise women. We had co-created a beautiful tapestry of light that was infilled with the new energies. During the weekend, I experienced a dark night of clearing in my tent that was very intense. My head felt like it was being drilled with a jackhammer, waves of nausea rolled through as my emotional body went through a wringer. I emerged rather fragile the next morning, grateful to have come out the other side. The core separation from Source was up for healing, that sense of abandonment and exile from the Creator. A pain so huge that it threatened to overwhelm me. The following day, in a flood of tears it was released into a burst of laughter as I knew that it had all been an illusion. I was never separate nor alone. I am one with the Creator and all of life. Oh, the joy and relief of this knowing!

The well of the Mother on the mountain, we drank deep of this holy water.

The mountain called a friend and I to it on this special solstice day. We hiked into Sand Flats where I took a nap at the meadow with the mountain blazing its light down on us. We then made our way up to Panther Meadows where Saint Germain is said to hang out. We hiked across the snow fields to the womb of the mountain, the spring where the water originates. The Native Americans of the area call it the Mother and honor it in ceremony.

Panther Meadow magic!

We took out our crystals, cards, drawing materials and snacks and had a beautiful few hours communing with the crystalline energies that surrounded us. It was magical, snow and sun and the sound of the water burbling in the well and the snow melting in tiny rivelets of water. The air was vibrating with all the energies pouring in from the sun. I felt like a battery being charged by solar light. As the day was winding down, we hiked out and drove up as far as the road allowed on the mountain. There was a large gathering of folks, all glad to be on the mountain for this special day. I met a wonderful woman, another of the Mary’s. She actually carries the Monad of the Marys. In our sharing, we discovered that we had worked together two weeks before during the Venus transit. She was called to fast and pray for 7 days to hold the energy for what was taking place at Stewart Hot Springs. She did not know what it was, only that it was of great import and her light was needed. I cried when I heard this as she was holding the energies for Joseph and I as we anchored the new energies of love on that day. Oh, how mysterious is this universe of ours! How wonderfully interconnected we all are.

How grateful I am for each one who listens to his/her inner promptings and follows the direction given. She had been traveling and offering her services to the light for eight years, traveling in her van with her cat. It was such a delight to meet and share our hearts’ love. It was also such a validation for me of the work that Joseph and I did. Praise God! She gave me a photo that she had taken that day of the sun. There was a heart revealed with a flame coming out of it! I had been that flame and knew its heat.

On the way down the mountain, we stopped to watch the sun set. It was such a blessed day. We were so gifted with new energies of love and openness. I felt sated to my very core. I was so very grateful to crawl into my tent that night!

Solstice sunset