It has been a quiet day of slipping into the joy stream. Misty and overcast most of the day which suited me just fine. Truly my Avalon self is getting her fix of green and water and mist. Everything is connecting. The water and the stones are carrying the new energies and are celebrating. I realized that the celebration has begun! It has begun in my heart and in Gaia’s heart and in the elemental and angelic kingdoms. They can all see what is coming down the pike so swift and sure. I cannot see it yet but I can feel it! The shift of the ages is here. It is not some date at the end of next year, it is happening now. The funny thing about it is that we must claim it, for it to be real. Yes, we must claim it for ourselves before we see it out pictured in the world. It is a bit of a conundrum as you wonder how you can claim something that can’t be seen. But it can be felt. Tune in to your bodies, they have joy dancing in their cells. Tune in to the earth, you will feel sparkles of joy. Tune in to the elements and you will know that they are alive with delight. Everything is singing! It is being felt around the world. As we acknowledge feelings of love and peace and joy, they grow and become more evident to all. It starts with each one of us refusing to accept the illusion of separation any longer. We are one people. We are the rainbow tribe. We are one with our mother, Gaia. We are here to live in love with one another and with life. We are love, that is our essential nature. People are waking up and wanting their freedom. We have been enslaved on so many levels. It is mind boggling when you begin to get a glimpse of it. And it is heart opening when you begin to allow yourself to love as we were designed to do.

I have had love flitting around me and as you know, my beloved is here in a new way since I had that profound experience on the inner planes of the sacred marriage. My heart has healed and opened in its wholeness and that is what is bringing my beloved in. There have been others who have felt drawn to the love and thought it romantic. I think that this way of being love is so new, that we get confused. We do not have a category to put it in. To encounter a heart fully opened, is still so new in our world. Our known world of love speaks of familial love, the love of friends and romantic love. In truth, we are destined to fall in love many times in a day! We are to experience love with all in our sphere. We will have this deep contact where our hearts swell with love for all. There will be the love of the beloved, that is a gift from our Creator to each of us. This twin ray love is real and we shall soon see the planet flooded with these reunions. These couplings will come together in service, to bring forth their gift. What is so new and exciting is the deep love that we will share with our soul families. It is a level of intimacy and caring that we thought reserved for the one. Now we will experience it with the many. To contact hearts on such a deep level is a privilege and a gift. To let go of all barriers, all fears and to be transparent in front of another. This is the new norm. I am experiencing it and it is blissful.

I find that I am sailing in new seas today. This beautiful sailboat passed by and took me with it. My being can expand outward with the birds, hop on this boat and move about, rest in a rock and feel the connection to our mother’s heart and become sap soaring upward to the highest tree branch. There is new energy available to us as we are lined up with the galactic center. It is streaming through so intensely and permeating every part of us. I love the wisdom of our Creator. She/He sends these energies in waves of light and sound and vibration that are subtle. Folks do not know that they are being upgraded, so to speak yet they feel lighter. I see people letting go of things that would have troubled them greatly before, opening their hearts in a new softer way. Things are becoming a bit blurry about the edges as a blanket of love wraps around this earth. For myself, I am floating in a sea of wonder. I feel so connected to everything. I know that I am ascending and that I am doing what I came here to do. I see the oneness of all. It makes no difference if I am watching a movie, listening to a meditation (try Tom Kenyon’s latest 5 minute pituitary gland one…powerful! http://tomkenyon.com/transmission-of-light-the-pituitary-dimensional-attunement) or sitting in the yard, listening to the stillness. In all of it, I am connected. I am flowing my love to the planet and all her creatures, I am opening as the vessel to be the expression of our Creator’s love. That is the only truth…..that we are love. We are asked at this point to believe it deeply. We are asked to let go and surrender as a bird that leaps from the branch and takes flight. I am such a bird. My trust in the process is so complete as we move in these new energies and witness the way we are held.

What a beautiful day! Oct 1st and I am through the portal I saw shimmering for me. There is great peace here on the other side. In truth, there are no sides, only the oneness. Yet on a very real level, I have entered in. So quietly except for my sobs and my tones of love going out to the universe. Yesterday I was bathed in waves of bliss that washed over me. I turned to water and the tears bathed me so sweetly. Last night I had a profound experience. I wrote an email to some dear friends, asking them to witness me in what took place. This morning my personality self had a 2 second breakdown: “Why did you do that? What will others think?” She was engulfed by the waves of love that were present. I have received beautiful replies of such love. My guidance has asked me to share this with a broader audience as I understand that as I walked through this portal, I opened an energetic pathway that others may follow. It is part of my work so I share this with deep reverence for the process that brought me here and in awe of the beauty that awaits us all.

Another quiet day on the island. Had a nice nap in the sunshine on my log bench. The deer family was back with their beautiful big eyes focused on me as I awoke from my nap. Such gentleness. I was feeling the softness that is emanating from the earth. Saw it reflected in my world recently when I had a situation arise with a friend. I witnessed a distortion that was present where she was not vibrating in her truth. It occurred three different times (three is my number) and I got the message loud and clear that I was to speak to her. Uncomfortable…how and when to do it. How to speak in a way that could be loving and non-judging. How to honor her higher self while speaking with the personality self. I asked for guidance, to be shown the perfect time and for the words to flow that would be freeing. I then put it out ofmy mind. We were at an event together but the opportunity to speak alone did not arise. The morning after the event, I was packing up my things in my hotel room when she called. She said that she was guided in her meditation to call me. We had a wonderful talk, the exchange went well. The honoring flowed easily and understanding was reached. I saw how Spirit can line anything up anytime. Mine is to listen and allow. I allowed the timing to happen in divine timing. My old self would have pushed the agenda, in order to get past an uncomfortable situation as quickly as possible. By allowing it to unfold, grace was present.

Island living…..I love the water. My Avalon Priestess self is so happy today. I am looking out at the misty mountains, everything dissolves into the blues, greys and greens of my soul. I am awash in moisture and pristine air. My body rejoices. I am a sun lover, delighting in the joy of its rays yet I am sinking into this mist and greyness with delight. It suits for this moment and in truth, that is all that there is. With the weather changes in our world, all is in flux and I do believe that we will be free to travel with our light bodies in quick and easy ways that will make changing our climates a matter of a thought and whoosh….off we go!

My shin bone is still sore and carrying the cuts from my dancing out my bones. Here is one of the stories from my workshop experience with Tom Kenyon. At various points throughout the workshop, he would put on different types of music and have us close our eyes and move to it. This piece of music had a tribal beat, it felt aboriginal to me. I was dancing near the side of the stage, letting my aboriginal self have her day, and allowing the energy to come from my bones. Tom had instructed us to breathe from our bones, exhale from our bones. There was a small set of two metal steps leading from the stage. I hit that in my dance and owww!! Intense pain shot through my leg. It stopped me in my tracks. I had to go in search of ice and band aids. I heard loud and clear from my bones: “You have not released our grief, you have stored it in us and now is the time to dance it out.” Wow! Ok, that was quite a wake up call! Nothing subtle about these bones of mine. this picture I took of tree roots reminded me of bones The shin bone is about as close to the surface as our bones get so I received the message loud and clear. Even now, a week or two later (time eludes me) the cuts and tender raised bumps are still there. I realized that I have done much to speak to my cells and atoms and organs, releasing releasing releasing. But I had not considered my bones. Everything in this universe of ours wants ATTENTION. Everything wants affirmation and love. I am loving my bones, beautiful tender bones.

The color blue has been a presence in my world these past months. Most of my recent clothing purchases have been a lovely aqua or robin’s egg blue, which was my favorite color as a child. Interesting how I am coming back to that now. I had two big blue experiences in Shasta, besides the blue blue water of the lakes. One morning I awoke from a dream where I had been at a naming ceremony. I was gifted with a new name. It was a very formal event attended by many. I was wearing my blue starry crown that I had been given, along with my sisters in Santa Fe, by the Divine Mother. A lovely deep violet blue cloak was put on me and I had my sword sheathed at my hip. I had a beautiful gown (I love the costumes we will get to wear again!) and I stood in my beauty. I was asked if I was willing to accept my new name with all the gifts and powers that it signified. Was I ready to fully step into myself? It was a humbling, reverent and joyous occasion. I did accept my new name and all that it represented. I recall the sense of celebration and joy. As I awoke in my tent, I was repeating the name, not sure of the middle name. It was Blue Star Lotus. When I told my elder son, he laughed and said, “Now you will fit right in with the Shasta crowd, Mom!” I do believe that we are all bringing in more of our true selves and have many names on the various dimensions where we reside as well as earning new ones as we evolve.

Another heart by Mother Nature, I am taking them all as signs of her love to me and to us! My

other experience is of a blue file box. I did another level of sorting with my few remaining boxes in Sacramento. All of my papers from our four drawer file cabinet had been reduced at the time of the divorce, into a plastic file box. I had not opened it in ages. I did not get to sorting through it before I left so I had brought it along, intending to get to it in the woods. One afternoon, I was suddenly in the mood to deal with it. I began to sort and toss papers into the nearby fire pit. I had no idea that I was to sort through years of emotions. There were my teaching credentials from NY State, Montana and California, records of my earnings over the years, records of things with the kids, letters of recommendations from parents of my tutoring students when I was homeschooling and applying for my first job in years, divorce papers, a few old letters, some writings I had saved, the rental agreement from my first apartment after the divorce, the car title changed from a couple to me…on and on. I sat and felt waves of emotion. It was like opening Pandora’s box! My friend called to tell me when she would be back and then the tears came. Somehow they came more easily when relating the story to someone. She helped me to process it and let it move through me. My mind was fixing on plans, trying to get away from the well of emotion. Ok, breathe. I gathered sticks and a match and began the fire. It took a very long time to burn through all the layers of papers. It was a beautiful fire that kept me company for a couple of hours or more. I was so glad that I had done it this way as I was witness to so much pain and grief, being transformed into coals that sparkled like jewels. The red hot heat of the fire and coals was a thing of beauty. I had to keep moving my chair as the wind sent the smoke my way. I finally surrendered as I realized that the fire was asking to smudge me. To purify me, to aid in the releasing. Again, the elementals, helping me.

I did not walk six miles that day…walked about a mile or two and then saw an enticing spot to swim. There was a steep bank and I inadvertently descended on my butt and slid to the water’s edge! The water felt great after my rather dramatic approach. I floated on my back until my ears got too cold. It felt so magical; cold water, big powerful mountain, sunshine, trees. Heaven. When I rested on the shore, I watched two ducks swimming by. I watched the male leading and the female swimming along behind. And a new thought came: the male was activating the “thrust” into the world, opening the way. The female was flowing with the opening, allowing her feminine nature to move gracefully along. I felt such deep resonance with this as of late, my thrusting into the world energy has deserted me. My feminine is ready for a male to take the lead and move first into the world, allowing my feminine to be sheltered so as to flow freely. This feels so different from the way I always saw it before..the female docilely following along. We were taught to rebel against that image yet I did just that for much of my life, allowing my partner to call the tune that I stepped to. I would not have said that was what I did, but in hindsight, I was constantly taking my cues from his emotional state and adjusting my behavior accordingly.

The Magdalen Manuscript: The Alchemies of Horus & the Sex Magic of Isis

San Francisco is an interesting place to be in the summer as it feels like winter! Fog rolls in and over the hill and the breeze makes me pull my wool hat down over my ears. I loved this cloud that looked like a tadpole skimming across the sky. I resonate with him, in the process of growing into my new form, floating in space that is neither sea nor sky. We think of tadpoles in water yet here he is floating amongst the clouds. This little guy is showing me the new way, I think that I am here on the earth, living my life when really I am floating in the clouds, trying to grow the legs that will allow me to walk across the bridge to the new.

Thinking about feelings and the way we tuck them into our hearts. I was reading something that said that our hearts are meant to be wide open, not closets full of old stuff we did not want to feel. I have been airing out my heart these past few days. Lying on the couch or bed in my daughter’s apartment (this is why I am not camping right now…I needed a more comfortable perch than a tent in the middle of the day. I love camping but it takes energy and as I was running low, the idea seemed too hard.) I can look out at the trees (well only from the bed as the couch looks at the side of the building next door) and drift from my place of comfort. So I have been taking things out to air. Shame, guilt.. any of that in there? Today

I dozed and then was reading a light “junk food” type of book…..no real nutrition but just the ticket for the enjoyment factor sometimes, and I looked at the clock and saw that it was just about time to pick my daughter up from work. We had arranged to go and get her car from the garage where it had been serviced. I felt this guilt come over me…”oh no, the dishes from breakfast are still in the sink, my stuff is lying about, I haven’t started dinner.” Wow, a litany of shoulds came crashing down on me. I was the mother but it was as if my daughter would be upset with me. This was a really old pattern from my old life where I felt I had to meet some standard at all times. That my worth as a person was measured by what I had accomplished that day. Yikes! Ok, so there was guilt. Observe how he wants to speed up my adrenaline, make me move quickly when I am feeling languid and slow. He came and received a good airing and my daughter and I laughed about it as I related how this sense of panic had come over me.

I want my heart to be an open vessel that the Creator’s love and energy can move through at will. That is my deepest desire. I feel that my body recently told me to stop and rest so that this housecleaning can take place. I have done most of the external housecleaning when I walked away from the house and its stuff a few years ago. This internal heart cleaning is a different story. My mind gets that stuff is just that…..stuff and that the world has too much stuff. You can always get stuff. I learned this lesson in my early twenties when one of my younger sisters committed suicide. She had been in the military overseas and one day a UPS truck pulled up and deposited a number of boxes of her stuff at my parents’ doorstep. It struck me deeply that that was what was left at the end of your life……boxes of stuff that someone would have to sort through. A stark lesson. So, the material things have not been something that I cling to though I love beauty and like it around me.

Heart cleaning…..what else is in there. Anger. Hmmm. What does he have to say? Oh, he wants to talk until he feels heard. Tonight that happened with my daughter, not at her but she asked for my story of a difficult time in my life and the anger came. She listened with such compassion that I felt embraced in love. I was able to embrace my anger and thank him for helping me to move from a tough place. Anger had been a means of survival. For so long I could not even access anger as I felt shame for feeling anger at all. I was able to honor him and then he could transform. This heart cleaning, clearing is an interesting process. There is more to go but I feel lighter already….like when you clean out a closet or the garage. Once you begin, it can get a bit messy. Actually it does get messier as you get deeper into it. But then the tipping point is reached and you begin to see some clear space around you. I am enjoying that space tonight. A breeze blowing softly through. Calling in the violet flame to transmute the energy released (a bit like taking stuff to Goodwill, the violet flame transmutes it all into something good).

Tomorrow is a new day. I want to live it fully feeling everything in my life, not storing anything till a later date. Knowing that this is how our heart was designed. To fully feel all experiences in the moment so that it is open and ready for the next moment. I am loving this heart of mine tonight. I am letting my heart light shine.