Oh, the things that I do to keep my heart alight. My youngest son gifted me a jar of homemade peach jam at Christmas. It is such a bright, glistening jam. It makes me think of sunshine and warmth….peach juice running down my chin and arm as I eat the delectable globe. On mornings when there is no sun….which happen more often than not in this wintry clime…I have peach jam on my toast. It is my sunshine vehicle, transferring golden light to all my cells. Perking me up to face the blowing snow that has obscured the world this morning. The sun is a faint white orb in the sky, struggling to break through the snow clouds.

Any bit of color stands out in stark contrast to the white and black world. I sent a friend in Australia a couple of photos of the outdoors here in Northern Vermont. He commented that it was a good choice to edit them to black and white. That made me laugh. There was no edit. My world is white and black with tiny splashes of colors from someone’s front door or porch roof. The dark green of the fir trees looks black against the white. Most cars are black, grey or white these days. Fortunately, tractors are still mainly green which adds a bit to the color landscape. Occasionally a pair of cardinals flash their scarlet feathers across my view as I look out at the cluster of birch trees outside my window.

Flowers are hard to come by which is what I miss most through the winter. It is hard to get them home safely without damage in the freezing temperatures and there is nowhere close to buy them. Soon some of the local greenhouses will produce the first tulips for sale. I look forward to these hot house spring flowers, coming in weeks before our daffodils and tulips peek from the ground. The front garden which is normally six feet below my front stoop, has snow packed up to its surface and beyond. The snowbanks grow higher as the paths and driveways narrow. I shoveled a path to the kids’ swing set yesterday so that the little ones could walk to it to play. Within a half an hour, you could not see a path. It was obliterated by the constant snowfall. We laid on our backs on the circle swing and let the snowflakes wash our faces. It made us all giggle. You had to keep blinking as the snow landed fast and thick.

There are no plans to travel this winter, though all of my family are taking trips South to soak up some sun. Last year at this time, I was swimming in the ocean in Western Australia. But my inner guidance says no to any movement this winter. I am here for the duration. I find myself embracing this season with open arms……well bundled! I have lots of wool clothing, good food thanks to the farmers’ greenhouses that produce bright emerald greens for us as well as heaps of root veggies that have been stored for these months. My grandchildren offer laughter and delight and playmates in the snow. I get to be a kid with them. I am so grateful for my body which allows me to carry the one year old through the drifts and dig myself out of drifts when I fall to my waist! Perhaps today will be a sledding day. Off to see what the snow offers……will it hold together for snowman building? Pack down enough for sledding? Or hold up for digging into to create forts? Time to find out.

Yesterday, I took a short walk with a friend. We were called outside as the sun made its appearance, beckoning us. We have had days of snow where the world is white, white, white. We began our usual walk but soon decided to shorten it as the wind picked up. We were admiring the swirls and patterns that the wind created with the snow. It looked like sculpted marble, so smooth and shiny. The wind then began to batter us and our walk was further curtailed. We zipped our coats up to our chins and pulled our hoods close about our faces to escape its bite. We ended up walking backwards for part of the journey as we headed to the car.The world became a white canvas of snow that swirled about, obliterating any sense of direction. It was wild!

Once back in the safety and calm of the car, we laughed in relief. My cheeks were covered in ice….a new sensation! As the heater began to blast warmth, our faces dripped as the excitement of braving elements surged through us. In a matter of minutes, the world calmed, the sun returned and it seemed that window of wildness had closed. Was that real?? We looked at one another and laughed some more. We decided to drive our usual walking route to see what this wintry blast was doing to the snow. We were both mesmerized by the sculptural quality created by the wind partnering with the snow. It was a light and fluffy snow that could be blown about with ease.

We remarked on an old fence that stood out in its brown decay against the pure white of the drifts. We mused how there is a beauty in the decay, how we are drawn to the patina of age on things left out in the elements. Paint colors fade to lighter hues, rust creeps across metal adding a new color, straight lines sag into arcs that dip low. My friend commented how we could adopt this appreciation to ourselves. When we are in the midst of meltdowns, when we fall apart….could we not see the beauty in ourselves? We tend to hide away when we go through these times. Our masks dissolve as we do not have the energy to uphold them. We are conditioned to present only the shiny version of ourselves to the world. This adds to the feeling of inadequacy that we are taught to carry throughout our lives. We look about and it seems that everyone else is doing fine. When in truth, we follow nature’s rhythms with its cycles of integration and disintegration.

Yet, we are taught to emulate and appreciate only the full flowering of ourselves. In truth, it cannot be sustained. The rose will begin to wilt, the petals will fall, the rose will form a hip which holds the seeds of the next flowering.The wood of the rose bush becomes weathered and lean. It thickens, it bares scars, it grows crooked with age. There comes a time of dormancy as the elements swirl about it. We, too, need our times of dormancy. Allowing our petals to become shredded., allowing our body its changing needs. Life is a force that can batter and wear on our beings.

What if we allowed things to simply be? To no longer use our bodies as containers to hold old energy…….good and/or bad. There is a continuous flow of energy that enlivens our bodies. Can I allow this flow and know myself complete in each moment? Am I able to let go of descriptors that label things as wanted or unwanted? Can I truly trust myself, as the rose does, allowing the bud to open, allowing her fragrance to waft on the air, allowing her petals to fall, her hips to form? Am I able to let aspects of myself fall away, trusting that they are no longer needed? Our capacities to hold the old are being lost. We are being called to greater presence in all ways. We are being called to embrace all that comes to us, in love. Love showing up in many forms as we broaden our ideas of what love is. We are love. We can choose to honor our beings, to embrace this world that is weathered and battered. We can let go of our judgments as we open our hearts to allow the lovelight to stream in and through. No holding, no resisting any of it. Being present with our hearts’ flames of the love that we are.

Recently, I had a day of letting go. I had journeyed to see my daughter, nine year old grandson and the new baby girl. I shared a peaceful day with my daughter as she and the baby nursed and napped. I cleaned the kitchen, brought in more wood, kept the fire stoked, folded laundry…….tending the household. In the afternoon, we went to meet my grandson as he got off the school bus. He and a friend wanted a playdate then but his mom said no, as it had not been arranged beforehand. He walked home with us in a bit of a sulk. He did not want to stay outside and play, he did not want to play a game with me…..he wanted to read his book. I felt shut out from our usual engaged times. I understood that he was tired on a Friday night, school takes a lot of energy. I knew that desire to simply retreat. I sat on the couch next to him, a book in hand. After a time, he began to read out some of the funny parts in his book, so we shared in laughter. His stepdad came home early from work and I made ready to leave and start the drive home. He then asked me if I wanted to spend the night, which I usually do. It was his olive branch to me….letting me know that he appreciated my presence.

The drive back seemed long as the light went and the headlights pierced me with their too, too brightness. I was beyond tired when I made it home. My younger son had turned on my outside light and turned up my heater so I walked into light and warmth. What a difference that makes! I sat and cried, weariness of body and spirit entwining to collapse in the relief of home.

Tea kettle on, search through the fridge for something easy to heat. Nothing there. I called my son, thanking him for the warm welcome. His caring voice brought fresh tears as I told him of the growing distance with my grandson, in whose life I have played such a large role. My feeling that my daughter is in a new world with her new partner, the baby and my grandson. How long I wished this for her and how wonderful to see her flowering in her new life. Yet, this crushing sadness enveloping me……grieving the end of a nine year chapter. I told him that I needed food though in reality it was comfort that I craved. Moments later a knock on my door, he arrived with beef stew, got out a pan, started it heating, hugged me tight and departed to his own little family. He understood that there was nothing wrong. He honored my need to feel the feels. A prince of a man.

The sadness wove in and out of my dreamspace, present throughout the following day. Tears welled and spilled off and on. The sun was shining but I could only take a very short walk as my body had no reserves against the cold. I was physically vulnerable. I baked chocolate chip cookies, searched for and watched a sad movie, took a long nap. Plans involving anyone else evaporated as I wrapped my sadness about me like a cocoon.

I needed to feel this shift. I knew that it portended a new chapter in my life. My nana skills are still wanted by the one and four year old grandchildren, my daughter still wants help with her household as well as my presence. My grandson and I have more experiences ahead to share.

Life does not look so different on the surface. Yet, I felt the seismic shift. My grandson is growing up. Friends become of greater importance as family becomes the base from which they go out into the world. My heart rejoices at his strength and ability to adapt to his new life in a new place with a new stepdad, stepsister and baby sister. As well, my heart grieving for the little boy that was.

Holding my heart with love and honoring. Allowing the feelings to flow. It settles once again, on a new plane. I feel the seeds of the new, enlivening. There is more to come, always more.

Things are beginning to cha change. A new year, a new frequency. All happening as the sun blasts us open with its flares. Days melt into one another as time begins to wobble and morph. The Solstice seems an age ago. Christmas came and my pregnant daughter’s water broke at midnight. She labored throughout the day and delivered a beautiful baby girl. I was staying overnight so was up with her while she let her partner sleep and witnessed the early contractions before the decision was made to go to the birthing center. The next morning I drove my grandson to the Canadian border to meet his Papa. He was to spend the rest of his winter vacation with his Quebec family. As we drove, we marveled at the winter wonderland surrounding us. It was like a magical mythical forest as all was covered in crystalline white. Something that I have since come to know as hoar frost. Amazing! My grandson took photos as we felt the magic surround us. I felt it was part of the wonder of the day, knowing a new soul was making her way to the earth and her presence was being celebrated by the trees and the earth herself. It was a tearful, jubilant feeling. We did not know whether she had arrived or not (turns out it was hours later) but we felt her in our hearts.

It turned out to be a long journey involving IV’s and a hospital stay for both my daughter and the baby. Unexpected,harrowing and exhausting for all. Shocks reverberated as my athlete of a daughter was on medicine for the first time. Baby in the NICU with tubes until her lungs cleared. The separation of mama and baby when all mammalian instincts are to be bonded as one. It felt like we were all caught in some loop that we could not get free of. Finally, it ended and everyone returned home to recover. My grandson returned home to his new sibling and life began to find a new rhythm after the artificial world of the hospital. Mama and baby are thriving in the peace of a fire burning in the hearth, good food simmering on the stove, the Christmas tree and its lights shining their starry essence as a hum of hope.

Headaches, not part of my history, plagued me throughout these days. My back got crunchier, my body revved and on high alert. Later I read that we had been blasted with large solar flares. My back is a barometer as to when energies are high….as a friend reminded me. That is when the discomfort flares for me, as my body does its best to integrate and anchor the lovelight flowing in. Reminders help! It loosens that layer that wonders what is wrong. Nothing wrong, simply part of the process that eases as the light stabilizes in my system.

Today I awoke to clear skies and freezing -1 degree temperatures. Crunchy snow…..such a distinctive sound when the temperatures drop and your footsteps break through the crystalline structures of the snow. Crumping…a word describing that crunching sound. I am crumping along in the sunshine! I am sitting indoors at the cross country outdoor center. Skiers are flying past, the biathlon range is in the distance. Athletes abound. I tried cross country skiing when I first arrived here in Vermont as this town is known throughout New England for its extensive series of groomed trails. I have found that snowshoeing is more my style. Slower with my feet firmly planted on the earth. Not so much to concentrate on and no scary steep hills to navigate. I don’t have to figure out which type of skis to use, which wax, which trails. I am free to float in my surroundings. Yes, that is it. I need to take in or rather be a part of the environment, allowing my spirit and energetic body to move with my physical body. It is too hard for me to concentrate on the physical when most of my being is interacting with the natural world. The trees, the ice and snow, the sun are all communicating. My inner ear is tuned to their messages though I do not often try to translate them into words. I allow myself to be imbued with them. The Japanese have a word for this concept of forest bathing, shinrin-yoku. Yes, that is what I am doing.

In my dreamscapes, I can ski along with grace and ease. My energetic body is full of grace, she is a dancer. Of late, I feel different in my body. I sense that dancer stretching, pulling my posture more upright, my core inwards, my head balanced in a new way. My back discomfort has eased, allowing me to move freely once again. I sense the flowering of radiant health for myself and us all. There is to be a renaissance in all aspects of life. Artists who have struggled to have their work seen or read, will suddenly find an audience. Financial struggles will be a thing of the past as we claim our right to live freely upon this earth. There is so much lightness and beauty ahead. May we hold on in this transition time. May we live our visions out loud and anchor them into this earth. The new earth is arising. With each new angel that lands, the frequencies lift. Let us keep our hearts’ fires dancing as we feed them with love. It is the energy that burns clean and true and will transform all of our lives.

The cold comes crisply, sharply and at times with a biting wind. My body closes, hunches down, trying to enfold upon itself, to safe guard its warmth. Each morning, I go down the stairs to open my door and stand on my small stoop to feel the air and greet the day. I take down the woolens that I have hung from the lamp next to my door. I love that the frozen air is my washing machine for my wool sweaters and leggings. I bring the freshness inside to scent the stale indoor air. I look to see the dawn’s light, is the sun about to rise? Often it appears as barely a hint of lightness behind the clouds. Not quite piercing through, suggesting the day’s beginning rather than proclaiming it. On such days, it feels an invitation to set the kettle to boil and grind my coffee beans. I approach such days, slowly. I take out the toaster and my sourdough loaf. Butter and peanut butter at the ready. Once my cup of coffee is wafting its fragrance around me, my toast coated to perfection, I sit in my favorite chair by the window, a small table at my side to rest my plate of toast and my coffee cup. Ah….now I can watch the comings and goings at the village store across the street. Trucks, plows, cars and tractors…spilling their occupants. I like watching how folks move. Some are elderly and bent forward, some are young and walk with a spring in their step. Yet, all are contracted against the cold. The store, a haven of warmth and food. Workers come out bearing their coffees, breakfast sandwiches and donuts. Fuel to start their workdays. Many will be out in the cold as they work on farms or ply their construction trade. The trick of setting the coffee cup on top of the car or balanced on their food packages while struggling to open their doors. There are conversations at the gas pump, handshakes and head nods but the cold promotes brevity of words. Return the gas nozzle and close the gas cap. Jump in their vehicles and they are off.

In the summer, many of the old men gather on the side porch to share their mornings with one another. Winter does not invite this ease. It is all business and a scurrying to return to the warmth of their vehicles.

If the sun is shining, I get dressed immediately and go out to walk in its path. The frost can turn grasses into shimmering ice sculptures that sway in the wind. I watch groups of tiny birds swirl in like a wide brushstroke, which disperses as each lands on a single blade of grass. They dip and bob as their weight is felt. They nibble at the seed heads as their balance is found. Then whoosh….as if a response to a bell ringing, they all take flight. A streak across the sky.

The ice can create patterns of beauty as well as treacherous tracks to walk upon. I love to walk but winter presents its challenges. To get down my short path to the driveway is not for the faint of heart. I have to have ice grippers on my boots. Even then, at times I slide. After breaking my wrist two winters ago, I am respectful of what the ice demands.

Yet, walking in the chilly air, with my eyes streaming into frozen tracks on my cheeks, I feel alive. I breathe in the clean air that seems to scour my lungs. My breath comes out in short gasps until I will my body to relax. My movement will bring warmth, I have a warm abode to return to, this air can enliven me for the day ahead. This is true whether the sky is overcast or it is sleeting rain or softly falling snow. I have to engage with the weather in order to make my way through the winter darkness.

Winter reminds me to take tender care of myself. Hot baths for my dried out, white white skin. My feet look foreign to me, enclosed in socks all day, they turn into funny looking things. My skin drinks the tallow cream my daughter makes, soaking it up like a sponge. Static fly away hair, chapped lips, the body feels heavier and seeks comfort. Cups of hot cocoa, cookies, warm soups., ..the hearth becomes the god of the house. I always longed to have one of the aga stoves that are spoken of in English novels, where the fire burns all day, sending out its warmth. I love the bone warming heat of a wood stove. I love to sit and watch its flames while my hands move with some crafting.

At present, I do not have a wood stove so have bought myself an electric one whose flames are not real but still satisfy some element in me. Candles help with their wavering lights casting shadows for me.

The dark days ask more of me than I often have. I want to slumber like a bear to awake when the light returns with longer days and shorter nights. It takes some digging in my soul to stir from my chair and brave the elements. Yet it is not the outer elements that take the most courage. I feel the darkness invite me in, with new spaces to explore on the inner planes. With the outer so quiet, the inner raises its head and calls to me. The shadowy depths have gifts, I know. How deep will I allow myself to go?

December is flying by, full of activities for Christmas and a baby to come. Baking, sewing, crafting, wrapping gifts, sending cards and parcels to keep the connection to those far away. January awaits, knowing that the noise will die down, the icicles will hold and the world will still in its frozen form. My inner being smiles……she knows that I will come. I will explore the darkness with my light. I will gather my strength to see how brightly I can shine. I will open the gifts that the dark of winter holds and find the glad tidings of my soul.

A poster created by a local The Bread and Puppet Theater that has been active since the 1960s, in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont.The name Bread & Puppet is derived from the theater’s practice of sharing its own fresh bread with the audience at each performance to create community. Its central principle is that art should be as basic as bread to life. Their print shop creates these beautiful posters.

This poster expresses what happens as we set our intention and attention on someone or something. This dandelion is literally singing its bright yellow joy into the world. All of nature, and that includes our human natures, responds to attention. Whether positive or negative attention, a response is elicited. We blossom in the glow of positive attention, as this dandelion does. Our hearts expand and we drink in words or actions that are directed our way. We know that children flourish under a diet of positive attention and wither under the weight of negative attention.

With attention being such a powerful thing, it behooves us to feel into our intentions behind our giving of attention. When we get up in the morning, what is our intention for our day? When we share something with someone, what is our intention? With this on my mind, I discovered that I had shared something recently without thinking of my intention in doing so. It was information about a mutual acquaintance and it was received in the vein of gossip. As I reviewed my day, it stood out in a glaring light. My intention was not clear. Had I stopped to feel what my intention was, before sharing, I would not have shared. Clarity about intention forces you to feel if and when to share some information.

My intention each morning, is to be uplifting to all whom I meet, to be a force of love in this world. Gossip does not uplift, does not ennoble. Neither does judgment of self or others. If I desire to uplift and be love, I need to have the intention to treat myself, as well as others, with love and care.

With this new focus heightened, I was amazed at the number of times that I acted or spoke without being clear as to my intention behind the words or action. This woke me up in a new way. My intention is to be conscious and clear all the time. It is difficult to do! I find myself slipping into unconsciousness much more frequently than I thought. With my attention now turned to my intentions, I get a quick jolt of a reminder when I am veering off my intended path of love.

For the most part, my intention is to be love and my attention follows as I focus on the beauty that abounds around me. This realization came home to me almost two decades ago when I took a trip to India after signing my divorce papers. The man who taught me a yoga meditation course, gave me a huge blessing. After our last meditation experience together where we traveled out into the cosmos, he looked at me and said, “You are a force of love in this world.”

Those words changed my life as they rang true in every cell of my body. All the shame and guilt that I had wrapped around me like a heavy cloak, woven of my decision to end my twenty-five year marriage, slipped off my shoulders in that moment. I had been loving. I had been loving!

I had tried a hundred different ways to assist my then husband out of his addictions until the most loving thing I could do, was to leave. Years later, he thanked me for having the courage to leave him. To force him choose a new path. To allow new growth.

There is so much of life waiting for our attention. Let us shower the trees, the birds, the children, our mother earth, one another and ourselves most of all, with an intention to be loving. As we give love our attention, it grows and fills more and more of our world. We are love. Love is the most powerful and expansive force on the planet. With it, we can light up this world and create heaven on earth.

Different hearts, yet all are made for love.

Back home after a lovely weekend spent with my daughter and her baby girl to be. I am the eldest daughter, she is the eldest daughter and this baby will be the eldest daughter for my daughter. Her fiance and son were away for the weekend so we had some solo time which was such a treat. It will not happen again for a long time as once the baby arrives, she will be nursing for a couple of years. So mama and baby will be a pair. We savored the time together. I brought my sewing machine and made new covers for all the couch pillows. I sewed sheets for the Moses basket the baby will sleep in downstairs as well as the cozy co-sleeper which will be next to their bed. We sorted all the baby clothes by size into bins. We filled the dresser with the newborn diapers and clothes. We took long walks in the sunshine and planned out Thanksgiving and Christmas days and menus. The baby is due just after Christmas so it will be a busy time, whether she comes early or late. Her first baby came two weeks early with the full moon so we shall see.

My heart is so full these days as I witness my three children with their loves. It made me think of frequencies and how we all vibrate differently and how wondrous it is when our frequencies match. I spent my marriage working hard to align frequencies with my then husband. I knew that he was the man that was to be the father of the three children I would have. My inner voice made it very clear at our first meeting even as I questioned how that could be as we were on such differing frequencies. He seemed such a boy and continued in that vein for our twenty-five years together. Yet, the love was overpowering. It was familiar, it felt like greeting an old and very dear friend. We have discovered that friendship is our truth. Our partnering provided us both with challenges and myriad opportunities for growth. There were many hard years lived, in order for me to learn to trust my own voice and inner knowing and to honor my own heart.

A lesson that became clear is that love is eternal. I can love someone and yet not be on the same frequency as them. This is where boundaries come in as well as learning about my own energy field. I have learned to protect my energy and be conscious of who I allow in my field. I know what supports me in keeping my frequency bright and vibrant and what drains me. The love can be strong and enduring yet require boundaries to maintain. Boundaries are part of love. That lesson took me decades to learn. I grew up with the notion that love was giving all of oneself, all of the time. That it was selfish to care for self before others. I thought love meant being in service to others in all ways at all times. I learned that love was something earned by being of service.

I have witnessed each of my children learn this lesson. They have each gone through relationships that drained, confused and exhausted them. Trying to align with differing frequencies is hard work. it does not negate the love as that is truly soul to soul. My former husband and I have shared many lifetimes. We are dear friends on a soul level. I knew this and yet so often felt the sharp edge of anger as well as sadness and confusion. Why could it not be easier if the love was true? That mystified me.

Now, I see that though the love was, and is true, we agreed to help one another learn certain lessons. Life on this earth is about soul growth and evolution. We are striving to become who we truly are. We write the script and set the stage of our lives, the background, the family of origin, the players who will take part in the play. All are known to us on a soul level. Often those who challenge us the most, are our dearest loves. They may have agreed to play dark parts in order for us to complete some aspect of growth that we desired to experience.

Others agreed to play light parts, sharing love with ease. We need this support as earth school is tough. When we find those who match our frequencies, the love flows freely. I see that in my children as they each have found a partner who lights them up, who amplifies their light. What a gift. The contrast of having lived in discordant frequencies as opposed to similar frequencies is immense. Gratitude flows, joy is alive and love dances.. Harmony creates a field that spreads the love like rain over a dry landscape. We soak it up and breathe more easily in its presence.

This is happening at an accelerated rate now as we are moving into an age of unity, harmony and peace. It appears as chaos at present on the surface of things but my body hums with this energy. I feel it flowing up from the earth herself. She has made the decision, as has mankind as a collective, to shift. To move into a new age of peace, the Aquarian Age long prophesied.

May we each care for our frequencies, honor our boundaries and hold to our highest good. As we live our joy and appreciation for our worlds, it radiates out and touches others. We are powerful in our love. We are masters come again to spin the dross into liquid gold. Our hearts are the transformers as we turn all into the love that is the bedrock of form. I have waited lifetimes to spin this liquidlovelight into form. The time is here. Frequencies are rising and hearts have cried out for peace and unity. Know that we are the ones to make this so. Let us turn on our heartlights to high beam….to see us through the dark that yet appears. It is our love that will burn away the mists and dark and illuminate the path ahead. Shine on!

Dreary rainy day yesterday. It was the 11-11 portal and I struggled. I did not even go outside which is rare for me. Yet, there are days when I am locked in place, unable to find the energy to move about. I had not slept much the night before. I ended up organizing and wrapping all my Christmas presents at 2a.m. It takes a lot of time! I had made many of the gifts, in my clay class and with sewing some of my linen stash into towels and napkins and tablecloths. I like to gift things that I have made by hand, to send that love from my heart to others. My living room was a mess of wrapping papers and lists and ribbons. It was a satisfying feeling to have most of it done. Now there are only a few things remaining to buy at a store order online. I like to shop local when I can, to buy from other artists or small shops. Shipping is becoming so expensive so the gifts to those far away must be light and small.

My daughter is expecting her baby at Christmas so I wanted to know that all the gifts were ready so I am available in whatever way she needs me. Babies can come early, her first was two weeks early, or late, my daughter-in-love’s first was two weeks late so best to be prepared ahead.

I was hungry all day despite no physical activity. I was hot and cold, throwing sweaters on and off. I was restless and fatigued. Up and down. I did not answer phone calls, drew into a cocoon of sorts. I laid on the couch and watched seasons of The Monarch of the Glen. A Scottish series set in the Highlands. The scenery soothed me, locks and misty hills, castles and small villages. Some part of me, drifted into that scenery and imagined it as my life.

I can recall when the 11-11 portal was a big event for me. I tuned in with others, felt the power of the gateway. Now, it is life, a day at a time, or rather, moment by moment. The old spiritual life, the visions and experiences are like tracks beneath my feet. All laid down as the path that I walk. Part of what came before and supports me in this life, but not separate from the day to day. I accept where I am, how I am feeling. I had been riding a high since the morning of the sixth of the month. I had awoken with a song in my heart that kept singing for days. Joy, joy, joy!

Yesterday, I could not hear the song. I played Ava Maria for an hour or two as I wrapped gifts. Most of the Christmas song playlists began to irritate me when a jazzy or pop one came on and its frequency hit me as a discordant note. Mostly, silence held me. My elder son was to stop by, wanted to share a meal. I prepared it and he was a no show. Finally, I texted him and he called to apologize. I felt irritated and expressed it. A few minutes later, we spoke again and let my irritation melt into the truth of love. He was struggling in his day and time got away from him. I understand that as it frequently happens to me.

This morning is overcast and drizzling with rain. Snow showers are expected. Yet, the song is back in my heart! Today I am traveling with my former husband to spend this day with our eldest grandson and my pregnant daughter. He will drive so I can relax and not concern myself with driving home in the dark and rain or snow. Joy is dancing in my heart! I have a box of fun crafts to do with my grandson, a wreath I made with grapevines and bittersweet for my daughter’s door, and some sewing supplies for a pillow my daughter wants help making. It has all the elements for a fun day.

High or low, all that we feel, takes us down the road. The viewpoint changes yet our inner being walks steady. May your day hold magic….whether it is up or down..there is magic available to us all.

The new earth is open to all who choose to turn on and live their hearts’ flame.

Just woke from an intense dream. There were a handful of us who had been working together to create a celebration. We had practically nothing in the way of resources. Hardly any dishes or enough chairs, no flowers and little food. I had recently helped host a blessing way event for my daughter and her Christmas baby to come. We had flowers, candles, heaps of dainty food, lovely porcelain teacups, linen napkins and tablecloths and we wore our best dresses. This was not the case in my dream. I wanted those things but they were not available.

We all worked together to share what we had to make sure everyone would enjoy the event. We put together chairs out of boxes, food was an eclectic mix of whatever anyone had in their cupboards, clothes were shared and creatively combined, it was a scramble. I missed having flowers as the table looked so bare but the children gathered around and cut, pasted and colored to create a beautiful centerpiece.

As the last bits and pieces were coming together, there came knocks on the door. I went outside to find a large crowd gathered, all dressed to the nines and expecting to come in. They stepped up in groups to tell me why they were to be invited in. Some told me their titles and their importance as that would surely be the pass in. Others told me that they had once been a part of this group so that ensured their entrance. Others had heard that it was to be a good time, so, of course, they had come for that. The reasons were myriad and folks were quite vociferous in their entreaties. The atmosphere quickly became riotous.

I held up my arms and asked for quiet. I thanked them all for coming but told them that the doors were closed and no one else would be admitted. We had barely enough to feed ourselves. I told them that they had all arrived dressed for an event but with no offering. Their hands were empty and it seemed that their hearts were not full of goodwill and cheer as evidenced by this riotous behavior. I told them that they all had the opportunity right now to gather in groups and create an event of their own at their own homes and villages. Make it joy filled, make it as wonderful as they had hoped to experience here tonight. They all had the opportunity to create magic.

The time of expecting others to do the creating and walking in to reap the rewards, was over. Now it was up to each of us, to create the life that we wanted to live. If we wanted a lovely celebration dinner, then we would have to work with others and cooperate and give of our resources to make it happen. It was the sharing of hearts that would make the magic happen. We had to let expectations fall away and deal with what we all had inside. We had to allow our gifts to bloom and see where it took us.

I thanked them all for coming and wished them well in their creative endeavors. I turned and went inside, closing the door behind me. I sent a wave of love from my heart to all of them, wishing them the joy that I felt awaiting me inside. My tribe was scurrying about to make all in readiness. I took a chair, wobbly as it was, and reached out my hands to join with those gathered as a blessing song was begun to start our celebration.

I awoke from this dream with my heart racing. I could feel how many folks will find themselves unprepared for the new lives that await us all. We are moving into a new way of being and creating. It requires attributes that this old matrix did not value. Money, power, possessions and the prestige of office hold no value. It is all about the heart’s flame and being true to oneself. Each offering the gifts that they were born with, in service to the whole. A new paradigm. Individualism and looking to gain for oneself has fallen by the wayside. Now it is about the whole, sleeping well knowing that no one is hungry, no mother is struggling to care for her child, no one is without shelter. That no one goes to bed without knowing that they are loved and cherished.

It would seem that in the dream, I was not upholding these principles of sharing and caring. But, I was. As each person had to learn the lesson of The Little Red Hen. The hen who asked for help all along the way to plant the wheat, to water it, to tend it, to harvest it and bake the loaf of bread. At the end of the story, all who had refused to help, wanted to eat of the bread. But she said, No, I will eat this bread as I was the one who did the work to make it.

Everyone has the choice to step out of the way that we have been programmed. We were taught that if we worked hard and followed all the rules, we would be taken care of. We have witnessed the systems breaking down and the emptiness of all of the promises. The rich get richer and the poor grow in number. Wars continue and people suffer. Companies lie, governments are not for the people. Profit is king and the well being of the workers is not considered. It has been a system of slavery.

Now it is for each to choose the life that they desire. Some will go away from the event in the dream and grumble and complain about the unfairness of it. They will spew hate at me for being the one denying their pleasure. Others will decide to gather and join forces to create an event of their own. Everyone will choose their response and in so doing, decide on the life that they will live.

Humanity is amazing in their creativity, resourcefulness, kindness and care for one another. Most hearts are full of such goodness and a desire to be of service to their fellow man. May we each offer what we are to our families, our villages and communities. That is how we change this world. Heart by heart, family by family, village by village. Not by aligning with system that pit folks against one another, as we are programmed to, but by opening our hearts and trusting our own wisdom. We are the ones that we have been waiting for. We are the ones who came to create a new earth. It begins inside each one, with our pure hearts, following our joy and clearing our own wake. It is time to grow and be sovereign in our own field. There is such wonder ahead. Peace and love to us all. We are blessed and may we bless all in our reach. May we know that our hearts’ love can reach around the world. May it be so.