Happy Mother’s Day

Posted on May 13, 2012 by lovelylinda

Some children's sidewalk chalk drawing that I passed today. It said, We love mom

Mother, what a fundamental part of our lives. She can be nurturing, supportive, dismissive, critical, challenging, a pain or a blessing. It matters not, she stands big on the horizon. The divine feminine is returning to the earth and we can feel her love penetrating even the densest of hearts. Our Mother Earth is infilling us with her lovelight as seeks to bring us in alignment to her evolving energies of oneness and love. We are all growing and expanding into the love we are. As our earth becomes the star that she truly is, our galaxy evolves also. We will be a part of the Golden Rose Galaxy. Oh, that fills me with such delight! I am a rose girl and so resonate with this.

Roses surrounding the bench as we waited to be seated for brunch yesterday. My sons took me out to celebrate Mother's Day a day early to beat the crowds. I am wearing a dress of my grandmother's, who did show me a sweet love.

As for our personal mothers, it matters not whether we are relationship or not, whether we delight in their company or not. We can honor the soul contract that they agreed to by giving birth to us. We can feel gratitude for the love which they surrounded us in or the withholding of that love. All of it is in the name of love. The mothers that did not play out the sterotypical loving presence, were following a more difficult script that we assigned them. They agreed to play the challenging role in our lives to allow us to remember that we are love. Some of us needed the exposure to the polarity of love to find it once more n ourselves. Of course, once we found our truth, that we are love, we can honor ourselves and love ourselves by stepping out of any non-loving script and writing a new one.

Part of the sidewalk art that expresses the little child in all of us who loves her mom, no matter what.

You can then choose love in any form you wish! In that way, you can be blessed with our mother’s love no matter what you scripted for yourself with your biological mother. I left my family of origin script, decades ago as it no longer served me. My mother ended the script by disowning me which allowed me to chose Mother Mary as my comforter. She rocks me when I am in need and crones sweet lullabies to me. I still call on her in this role, despite being 56 years old. We all have need of the mother’s heart. I am so grateful for mine for stepping out at the perfect time and Mother Mary for stepping in. How beautifully and completely I have been enveloped in the mother’s love all my life. My gratitude flows.

May has been a month of such cleansing energies as our Mother/Father God offer us assistance to return to more of our truth. We are being asked to mother ourselves in a deeper way, to be gentle with our hearts and bodies and emotions. My heart has never been so exposed, so raw and vulnerable. I am being newly born into the lovelight on the planet and I treat myself with the tenderest care. Rest all you can this month, spend time with Mother Nature as she has healing gifts to give. Be rather than do as much as possible to allow yourself to be transformed. A newborn spends its time eating, eliminating, sleeping, crying and gazing about in wonder. That describes my days! So on this mother’s day, mother yourself like the sweetest of newborns because you are being newly born. Honor our Mother Earth by sitting with her, lying on her, delighting in her. Honor our divine Mother by loving yourself as she loves you. Let go of critical judgments of yourself in any and every way, replacing those thoughts with the ones you would speak to a newborn babe. Oh, you sweet one. Oh, you beautiful being!

Needing Love

Posted on May 9, 2012 by lovelylinda

The trees and clouds are reminding me that they simply "are', fully in the knowing of how they are loved.

I awoke from a dream where my vision was clouded. I could not make out much and felt confused and disoriented. I drove to an event that I will be attending in early June. A gathering of Lakota folk as well as others. In the dream, a group of guys were standing together and one called me over. He was a friend and put his arm around my neck. We were laughing and talking about his baby to be. I looked around and saw the man who I had had a relationship with from this group. He did not even acknowledge me. I greeted him and he responded that he had done a lot of healing. That was it, no reference to a need to do any of that healing with me. No words or gestures towards me. I felt pain go through me. I stumbled away and tried to find my car and my way out of there.

I awoke feeling that pain. I found myself thinking that I would not attend this event. I do not need to be where he will be. Oh, yes, I was triggered. I breathed into it and sat with this pain. Interesting that I was looking for something from him. Seeking something outside of myself to know that I am loved. I thanked my higher self for bringing this up in my dream state for me to look at. I found the me that lived most of her life this way, looking to others for validation that I am worthy of love, that I am loved. Oh, she is the dearest thing. She has this big heart but lived with a false belief running that heart. The belief that love comes from anywhere but inside. People can reflect it back to us, but to truly know love is to know it from the inside out. I thought I had mastered this yet my dream was showing me where I was still carrying a wound that only I could heal. The opportunity of attending this gathering is for me to need nothing from this man. No look, no acknowledgment, no words. To hold him in lovelight, the light that streams in to me from Creator and flows out. That is the stream I need to look to, that is what nourishes my soul. To laugh at any expression from him or anyone that is less than love being reflected to me. Knowing that I am love and love is my truth. Knowing the truth of the love that we shared for a brief time and that our souls have always known. The love does not die with the ending of the relationship, it is eternal.

I feel as tender as these delicate blooms.

So, time to take my dear self for a walk, to breathe deeply of that love that rains down so gently on my soul. To bless this man and this dream for showing me part of me that needed tending today. I am loving her so and will treat her with the upmost care. I have assured her that I will not abandon her, that I will be right there, holding her hand as she stands in a place that formerly held pain. I am her love, her beloved. Pain is an illusion as there is only the reality of love. Together, we will burn through that illusion with the help of my angels, the violet flame, the flame of love that I have asked to hold my dear self as well as this man. Let the love burn bright and let me not seek it, rather feel and know this inner flame. Oh, the dearness of us all.

Clarity Coming In After the Chaos

Posted on May 8, 2012 by lovelylinda

Pink peonies are teaching me soo much. Look at all the different petals, hundreds in this one bloom. This is our multidimensional aspects, all contained in us, just beginning to unfurl into full glory!

The super moon loosened its grip on me last night and I found myself standing in a place of clarity. Yesterday I felt that I was ill, not physically but emotionally. Fragile, raw. Who would take care of me? How would I exist? As a society, we have little patience for time outs as all is geared to productivity. There are a few mental health days, sick days and even three days alloted to process your grief if a loved one dies. Imagine! I needed a time out even from myself! This moon was like a tornado that had captured me in its eye, churning everything about and then suddenly dropping me from mid air onto the ground. Bit of a bumping landing.

Here is the bud, tightly packed with potential, the ants crawling about encouraging the blossoming.

I looked at an apartment yesterday, it was the first hot day here. I saw myself contracting to fit the space, knowing that to be wrong as I am to expand. Heat…what was I thinking? I can’t do heat in this valley. I am craving island mists and water and mountains. I was given a vision of the islands off of Washington, knowing that is where I am to head. A new friend popped into my mind. Not sure where she is, but somewhere up there. Ok, follow that energy stream. Whew, relief to know something, feel a thread to follow.

Joy returned, I could feel my senses coming alive again. I made a birthday dinner for my son. We watched Ponyo, a beautiful Japanese film for all ages that shows the energy of the new earth. Treat yourself to it, you will not be disappointed. It shows the magic and beauty of life and how love trumps all. Feel the layers behind the layers of the story.

The tornado moon wiped out any further interest in anything smacking of “New Age”. So many things have been done for so long and have become an obstacle to moving forward. The dancing I attended…nice but the vibration was not mine. Everyone craving connection but for me, it did not bridge that gap. Workshops, paying to listen to anyone feels old. We are stepping into our own experience of knowing. There is joy in sharing but we need a new format of coming together to co-create and play….not work. Playshops? Our vocabulary itself is outdated as there are not words for what I am wanting to express. A tone does it so much better. This new energy is streaming in along with our own newness, gifted by the super moon.

Created this months ago, year ago? Started connecting all with gold thread...we are all connected.

This morning I read a response to my blog and the person asked me to send healing to her son who was struggling. Without even processing the words long enough to think about her request, a stream of energy flowed into my crown, down into my heart and out to her son. I began to tone, speak and sing in “light language’ ( words and sounds not deciferable). I reached out and touched his chakras and sent love into them. I felt his sweetness and picked him up to rock and cradle. I sang him a lullabye. All of this transpired within minutes with no thought on my part. It was beautiful. This is the magic I am wanting!

Later the friend I had thought of in the northwest called, first time hearing one another’s voices. Delight. She saw me there on the island, our place to begin whatever it is we are to begin. Laughter as our vibrations played together.Joy in discovering a fellow pollinator. My heart danced with the frequency of magic. This is it, simple, sweet, easy. No real thought required. Ease and grace all the way. Wow….I feel a bit giddy that it is finally here. The “I am ready” that I have been feeling is for this time. Something big is happening, is hovering in the wind and will soon be upon us all. The way to be ready is to be in our hearts. To connect to the grid of love that encircles the earth, the one we have all co-created. Ponyo showed how to do this. To hold the vision of beauty and truth and the knowing how we are loved. Fear is the trap. I was grieving this life as I knew it, for despite our limited view, we have all glimpsed moments of breath stopping beauty. Yet, what is ahead is beyond any idea that we could dream of. This is what we are on the cusp of. It may come wearing a disguise, may look like chaos and confusion but it will drop us all down into fields of splendor. This is what the moon was teaching me as she swirled me in her super charged energies.

Feel the love, see the love all around you, hold to the reality of love. Our world is changing and it begins, one heart at a time. I am turning on my newly polished heart light. The tornado scrubbed it bare, no filters, no covering remains. I am practicing breathing it, filling it, expanding it. Seeing if I can produce a high beam. Pink light flowing, just like my peonies. I am connecting to each one of you.

Magenta and soft pink....I am feasting on these peonies today.

Bulletin! My second friend called from back East, she will soon be reuniting with her beloved. Same as my friend above. Interesting, me holding the container of this knowing when each has kept it quiet, not wanting to expose the tenderness of the love to others. I feel that my beloved is right here with me, holding the energy of the six of us. We are the seeds for the community of divine partnerships that I felt I was to help birth. Oh, the wonder of this. She too feels all that I have been experiencing. We are on the cusp of something so profound, so life changing. Each moment, each day until the eclipse on the 20th, is to be savored, to be present with in reverence and love. We are in a sacred passage. Honor it, honor yourself. Call on one another for strength and comfort. I am here, beaming my heartlight to each one of you. There is an endless stream as our Creator streams HIs/Her love through us. Call it forth and drink deeply. I love you.

Supermoon: Sadness, Softness, Sweetness

Posted on May 7, 2012 by lovelylinda

The supermoon rising over the shed in the backyard.

The supermoon of Wesak took me on a journey of several days that I am just returning from. First she and I entered the realm of sadness and grief. Tears flowed with no known cause yet I knew there had been a completion of significance for my Spirit. Those of you who have journeyed with me these past few years, have witnessed many endings. As recent as six months ago, I recall a death experience where I felt I was done with this third dimensional life, never to take up the reins again. Yet, the cycles began again, as did I. These past few days there was the sense that it was for the young to bring in the new earth. That I had played my part, spread my seeds and now wanted only to sleep in my Mother’s and Father’s arms once again. My son reminded me that elders were needed and that there was more to be experienced and brought forth. This I knew but could not touch, the sadness engulfed me. I wanted to park my body somewhere and let me Spirit fly free. I did not want to have to care for it, figure out where I am to live, how I am to live. All seemed flat. We need a resting place for weary lightworkers, a way station where the body can be tenderly tended while the Spirit takes a sabbatical to the Great Central Sun, to Venus, to home.

Soft light for a magical sight....the sculptural quality of this calla lily drew me in.

Yesterday I spoke with a facebook friend who has a radio show. I called in and asked about my grief and she affirmed that I had completed by blueprint, and had the option of leaving or staying for more. She said, “You have raised your hand for more.” Yes, I have wakened morning after morning hearing myself saying, “I AM ready!” My physical and emotional bodies have been moving to catch up with my soul’s ever eager desire to serve the light. She told me that my team said, “Linda Marie rocks!” Deep breath…breathing that in. I do rock! I have given everything I have to this path these past few years.

Pink peonies full of perfume and passion, come ignite mine!

A softness washed over me next as I felt the air, the earth, the trees all blur their forms. Everything appeared slightly out of focus, felt softer on my skin. The rawness that I had been feeling so appreciated this.The world had been too bright, too intense for this being that was being birthed from the old Linda. I felt vulnerable and unable to protect myself in the old ways. My heart was fully exposed now, and no intent nor thoughts could cover it again. This softness was letting me know it would be alright to be this exposed. I felt grateful for this place of sanctuary with my sons, sheltered by their love. I even joined a friend in a sweat your prayers dance event. My personality self had no desire to be in public, my back still felt tender and stiff yet my soul was nudging me forward. Ok. soul trumps all. I went. I danced mostly in my own space but even allowed brief encounters with others, even men. Whew…big for me. My soul was right, the dancing moved the sadness out in a bigger way, allowing the softness to take me. I had the evening alone, which I savored as the gift it was. As my son said, “It is a win win for all of us,” as he and his brother and friends departed. Always I am shown how I am loved. We are all so loved.

This morning, I awoke to sweetness. Yes, I could feel the dearness of life as I moved about

One of my Japanese maples, its shadows dancing on the shed, showing me the way.

the house by myself, smudging the rooms, clearing the energies after the gathering for the Wesak birthday party for my elder son. I had participated in a limited way as the grief was still upon me. The sage did its magic, wafting its sweet fragrance in the air. The wind of the past couple of days was gone and I felt the gentle greeting from the trees and bushes in the yard. The water in the pool sent a sweet message up my leg as I dipped my toes in. Everything shimmered with new light. I cut a couple of peonies to bring into the house that the wind had flattened on the ground. Ummmmm, sweet fragrance. Moving slowly as the Wesak moon and I complete this

The swing that will rock me today in the cool shade and dappled light.

journey. Being gentle with this dear body as she strengthens herself for what is ahead. Allowing myself seclusion from phone calls and friends for the moment as I tend to this new being that is here. I feel as I did with my newborns, simply wanting to be with them, and no other. I can recall the pleasure of night time, when the other babies and husband went to bed and I was alone to nurse and commune with my baby. Oh, the bliss and sweet joy of looking at him or her. To kiss and pet, to ohh and ahh. I am falling in love with these new aspects of me that have arrived on the light of this moon. Stardust and love’s mysteries and a sound that rings in my ears of angel choirs. Time to rock this babe in my arms.

Watching My Garden Grow

Posted on May 4, 2012 by lovelylinda

I am so glad that it is today! Yesterday’s energies were difficult, I felt irritated, despairing, fleeting moments of joy followed by moments of whining with this back pain that has resurfaced. I felt tender and raw, sensitive to the extreme. No desire to talk on the phone nor connect on the Internet, wanted to withdraw into my shell and felt the frustration that I did not have one.

The amazing cloud formations yesterday.

We are clearing (does it ever end??) all the dross for the light of Saturday’s super moon to infill us. I went out last night and basked in her almost full light, clouds back lit by her, sky luminous. I thanked her for the energy she brings, asked for the blessings of Wesak to be bestowed upon me. Wesak is a celebration of Buddha’s birth/death/enlightenment. The ascended masters gather and grant boons to humanity. Asked for assistance in being centered, asked my Mother Earth to ground me in deep. Felt the settling after a day of swaying this way and that.

Another friend wrote of finding her beloved. Knowing home for the first time, understanding what it means to find her other half when she never thought herself incomplete. Beyond words. My heart swells with joy to witness the joy of one of my sisters. Her joy is mine as her discovery lights the path to my own. The beloveds are coming, our hearts are opening to the wonder of our truth as love and only love. We are so connected. Another friend called to tell me of her role as midwife to her younger sister’s passing. How she recognized that birth and death are a process that take time. How a baby has its mother’s heartbeat to entrain to and how she decided to entrain to her sister’s final labored breathing with her own breath. She matched it, slowed down, followed it till it was no more. She felt a reverence, awe as she felt the trust her sister had shown her by allowing her to lead her once again, this time from physical life to a new life in Spirit. Grace.

The universe asked me to clarify my desires further. I received a message from an old friend about sharing her house with her. I had clearly stated recently I am ready to anchor in somewhere, that I want my own space within the shared community space of my pod of light. Here was that old pattern, will you be the battery once again for another to shift or will you honor yourself by holding to what you desire, trusting divine timing. Grateful for the opportunity to clarify, making my desire more luminous on the grid of life. Once we are clear in our intent, we are tested to see if that is what we truly desire. This is the time to hold firm to our heart’s desires as they are within reach like never before.

The two palms in the yard of my former home. Despite the messiness of their dropped fronds that are so hard to dispose of, their seeds that sprout all over the yard and have to be dug up, the feathery puffs that fill the pool .....we could never bring ourselves to cut them down. For a couple of kids from Buffalo, NY, they were a symbol of the exotic.

Magic arrived to bless me last night in an email from my former husband to our kids. He talked about the value of doing something again with consciousness and how that frees the original doing. Of his desire to honor me for the 30 years of being a supportive partner. Of honoring the friendship, newly found. That their hearts could feel the ease that we have so recently discovered. When I think of all that went in to this healing……beginning with me being here in the first place, him allowing me to this space, a friend inviting me and my sons to an event that I wanted to attend but found I had no energy for. Sons going off leaving me alone with former hubby, me not knowing he was to be here. Retreating to me room, coming out only to answer his query about irrigation needs of the newly planted garden that lead to yard project that led to conversation and anniversary and…..you get the picture. So much orchestration for me, for my growth, for love to flow. I am that loved, as are you. When you become conscious of life, everything speaks to you and you begin to see the many layers of every action and interaction.

Squash blossom about to birth its fruit

Full circle, releasing old patterns and embracing the truth of love. We are stretching, shifting, expanding. In that process we are asked to have compassion for the opposite that comes along, contracting, blocking, stopping. We are asked to fully honor ourselves, love every part of ourselves in this now moment. Can you accept all of you, the good, the bad and the ugly? Can you see it all through the eyes of grace and love? In doing so, in beginning right where we are, with full hearts, with such tenderness for our limitations and lack…..we bring it all to fullness, to the light of love. We are poised to birth our divinity. In our humanness, we were not meant to reach perfection. That was a lie given to keep us feeling less than. It is only in our divinity, that we can know the perfection of our humanness, all of it. We can embrace our anger, our smallness with a smile as we would watching a 2 year old throw themselves on the floor in a tantrum. (of course, when it was my 2 year old child I was not always smiling as it triggered my own pain body.) But in our wisdom, we can feel the frustration and pick the child up and embrace her with such love and compassion. Yes, it is hard to be small and feel powerless. Hard to feel so deeply and passionately. Oh, we are the tenderest of beings, having journeyed from the oneness with the Creator to this land of separation and story. How confusing and frightening it has been. How comforting is this time of remembering that we have never been separated at all. That we are one with our Creator as we are one with one another. My, that sends a river of peace through my soul, my body, my being.

So much more flowing in, enough for the moment. We are so loved, I take this knowing into my dream space as a nap calls me.

May’s Love Day Builds the Bridge

Posted on May 2, 2012 by lovelylinda

A bridge along the Oregon coast sometime last year

Love day. How beautiful that today was celebrated as love day. Here are the things that happened for me today. My former husband reminded me that this was the day that we met 30 years ago. It was the day we celebrated each year as our anniversary. We laughed that here we were, once again, working together on a yard project. After all these years, how strange it all was. We created a bridge over some formerly turbulent waters of our past. We acknowledged how we had helped one another to grow. How the years of unloving had led me to love myself. We talked about friendship and offering that in a new way to one another. Immediately, he started to tell me how he had little time for friendship, offering excuses. I laughed and said, “Oh, I see your offer was too much and you are now withdrawing it.” An old pattern surfacing. A beautiful new thing happened then. He recalled reading something about how when you achieve a peak experience or new level in a relationship, you need time to process it and integrate it. If you are not conscious about it, you end up creating a crisis or argument that leads to a time of separation which then allows the integration. By being conscious, you can state that you need time to assimilate the new aspect in the relationship and peace can be maintained. It was so lovely to hear him state his need and to be able to honor it. A new way was bridged and I felt such gratitude. So proud of both of us. When we can openly state our needs with love, there is freedom to be found.

Beautiful clouds as the day waned.

Ten days ago, I asked my former husband if I could spend the night at the family house as I was get-ting in late and my car was here, as were my sons. He would not be here as he is only here three nights of the week. He graciously agreed. I am still here. This was not planned. The energies streaming in have kept me pretty grounded. I have small bursts of activity….looked at 2 apartments today (neither was a yes) and then rest, food and water are required. At times, the thought of getting up to go to the bathroom seems beyond me. Truly! I cannot move. I laugh at how my higher self has orchestrated this time, not something I was looking for yet here I am. And tonight’s bridge to a new friendship is the reward. I am being shown over and over to trust my heart, trust the universe to guide me to the situations that lead to my greatest growth. Our minds would not choose them as we tend to avoid things thought to be painful but if we allow our hearts to lead, we are led to healing and freedom.

A mural at a restaurant, birds flitting about.

I was doing yoga outside (managed 10 minutes before fatigue overtook me, but it was 10 minutes!) when in triangle pose I looked up. A hawk was circling above me. I watched him executing his graceful turns with wings outstretched and felt I was drifting with him on the air currents. Hawks are my power animal, showing up often in my life. I felt he was giving me a message that my love would soon be with me. I thanked him and sent him a beam of love. Right before going outside a friend had sent a message that her beloved was soon to join her. It all felt interconnected to me, our loves are coming as we open our hearts to our own love. The Venus transit on June 4th is already in motion, bringing in big love energies. I know myself as Venusian and feel a sense of home coming.

Hearts everywhere, even in a bag of chips!

An apartment manager I met today shared that his 22 year old son had commited suicide six months ago. He wanted to talk about the pain he felt, the guilt of being too hard, the frustration of years of his son’s drug addiction and rehab efforts that did not succeed. He showed my son and I, his son’s picture and admonished me to cherish my son. He said he now called his other children regularly. He was expressing his love on this love day in wanting to share stories of his son with us. Wanting us to know of his beauty and struggle. Love, oh how we search for it, need it, desire it.

It has been a long journey to this new world where love will be the rule. Where hearts can open wide and that will be the norm. I am witnessing the transformation all around me. Begin to look for evidence and it will be given. Yes, this is the time to turn on our heartlights and never turn them off again. That young man could not see past the pain of separation and so chose to open a different door. We have hoped, we have yearned to live in love and now the reward is at hand. A world of love is being born. Thank God we are here to participate in it. Don’t wait to begin, now is the time to turn your heartlight on high! This is what our high beams were made for! Our hearts are the instrument to birth this world we desire. Free your heart of everything but love, drop all else and shine it so bright. No child, no one has to live in a world without love. We are the ones to make this a reality for ourselves, our children and the generations to come. It all starts within……your heart, my heart, one heart.

Happy May! Soul Awareness Month

Posted on May 1, 2012 by lovelylinda

Happy May Day! I am leaving a basket of beautiful flowers at your doorstep…..did you find them? My kids and I used to do this when they were young, weave small baskets from paper and grasses and fill them with spring flowers and hang them on the neighbors’ doors. May 2012…….this is it. We are transforming, following the flowers lead by bursting into bloom! I love how nature has become my teacher. The clouds teach me to drift along and change with the moments, the earth teaches me to plant my roots deep in her soil, the flocks of geese teach me about moving in my heart, knowing when to take the lead, when to drop back, all fluid motion. The deer on my nature walks by the river teach me to look at each passerby with eyes of presence and depth. The butterflies, how to dance on the breeze, the trees how to bend with the breeze. The turkeys, how to fluff my feathers and sing my song, no matter how ridiculous that looks or sounds to others! (They can look pretty silly with their wattle waggling under their tiny head next to that big chest).

love how this oak tree throws its branches out with such abandon

I am experimenting this month, my life being the laboratory. My heart being the crucible. Spirit being the elixir that I am playing with. I need a place to live. I have no idea where I am to land, what this place is to look like. I do know that I am ready to be planted, to allow the stillness wherein I can watch my seeds sprout. I water them with tears each day, something of beauty can move me there most days as my heart overflows in delight, in compassion, in ecstasy, in frustration, in sharing eye contact with another’s heart. I am checking craigslist each morning for an apartment or house near my sons and the river parkway or in midtown. Both are places that I have lived, both feel like I am moving backwards in a way yet…who knows anything anymore about what is for my highest good? Being here in this moment is joy. Allowing that joy to be the fuel that brings the next movement. The sun filtering through my closed eyelids. The bird songs filling my ears, my son painting at his easel on the lawn, all of these fill my heart with joy. I savor it, breathe it in and expand it out through my heart, beckoning my desire for this and this and this. The details are left to the universe and my higher self, I am amplifying the feelings. I am allowing myself the gift of presence and gratitude for each moment.

I have been so flattened by the energies streaming in for this weekend’s full moon and Wesak celebration. Wesak is celebrated on the first full moon in May and commemorates Buddha’s birth/death/enlightenment. My eldest son was born in May 7th and I called him my Buddha boy. He looked like a an old sage and he whispered the story of our connection to one another and the creation of this earth, as he took his first breaths and looked into my eyes. He carries the Buddha energies, and is celebrating his 27th birthday with a party on Wesak and the full moon this year. Almost a year after his kundalini awakening, he is ready to share outwardly what he has discovered on his inward trek. This trek has found him for the most part, lying on a sofa. He has gone against our society’s ideas of how a young man ‘should” conduct his life. If he had gone to an ashram in India and sat at the foot of a guru, then there would be a greater acceptance of the idea of him following a spiritual path. Can you find God from your sofa? Yes, and I believe you will be as thrilled with his wisdom as I am.

My sons forging their new pathways to the New Earth

I find it interesting how narrow is the path we allow ourselves. My sons and I have opened a bridge to the new as so many of you have by following your truth. Do not underestimate the role you have played in this planetary awakening by stepping to the beat of your own inner drummer. May is a transformational month where we are being gifted with assistance to let go of our old stories and ways and birth our divinity. Can you believe the power of this?? Go within and claim it. It is about surrender (can I live without my stories, without my pains and sorrows, my ideas of right and wrong, of good and bad, of suffering and joys?). Yes, I surrender them all and ask to be made anew in the truth of who I am. I am excited as I meet more of her each day. I want to be all love. I want to be fully present to the Creator’s gifts that are wrapped in every moment. I want to be Her heart expressing itself in full bloom on this planet. I want to be the highest expression of my soul that I can reach. I want to melt with the beauty of it all. I want to see the truth of love in every situation, every person, every heartache. I want to be the alchemist that knows how to transform all baser emotions into the gold of love. I take them into my heart and beam them back as light. We have that power…..doesn’t this amaze you? It does me.

Soul awareness month will find me looking within. Seize this opportunity being gifted to us. This is the month to turn all to gold so that we can be the shining sons and daughters of God that we came here to be!

Pinned to the Earth While the Shadows Dance

Posted on April 30, 2012 by lovelylinda

Thank God for the glow lighting the end of this path. It is getting narrower by the day yet that glow beckons me onward.

Whew, the energies for this earth woman have been intense these past couple of days! I felt pressed into the earth, any movement took enormous effort. I was to be searching for an apartment but that felt as reachable as climbing Mt Everest. Not a possibility. I allowed myself to relax into this pulling. What else could I do? I have learned to move with the energies rather than against them. When a way is opened up and the energy is aligned, all falls into place quickly and with ease. To try to move because my mind has decided to make something happen…. that is hard. My body will take over and stop me at times. These days, I am allowing my heart to move me. I need to find a place to live and know that it will happen. But not today. I allow myself to drop into that place of peace, listening to the birds, while the sun warms me.

One of my simple pleasures, fresh squeezed orange juice. It is like drinking sunshine.

The mind moves in and out with its various refrains, “Where are you going to live? You need to know now! ” All testing my peace, my beingness in this now moment. Will I trust that all will come to me in its perfect time? Will I trust that I am in my perfect place right now? Yes, I will trust it all. I am grateful for my former husband allowing me this space and time to be until I can move. He does not understand it, even fears it yet he allows. That is not easy. I am grateful to feel peace in a place that once held such sadness, anger, and pain for me. Of course, that is why it is my perfect place in this moment! If I can feel peace here, it is likely that I can feel peace anywhere.

The light is flooding in to illuminate our shadows so that we can become whole.

Talk about shadow dancing! The usual cast of characters strut their stuff once again:”What are you doing with your life? Why are you in this place again? Your money is running out, you will have nothing. You need to DO something, anything!” At times I can laugh and say, “Enough, you will have to be more creative than that to get my attention! ” Sometimes it is a “Be on your way, with my love.” Other times, I am caught in the throes of it and have to wrestle my way out. I am learning that shadow work requires deep breathing and moving into observation mode. You have to take a seat in the audience and watch the characters play across the stage of your mind. When I can clearly appreciate the acting, I can detach and see it for what it is. When I get caught up in the play, I go on an emotional roller coaster ride that is often not pleasant. I have witnessed shadows that I did not even realize were there, entering the stage. Every last trigger is being pulled now to allow all to be transformed by the light of my love.

Field of lupines on my walk by the river

Others judgements of me and my path are coming in as I am moving into a space of non-judgment. I am watching as I try their judgements on for size, finding resonance for a moment or sometimes more until I return to my own truth. Am I enmeshed with my sons? Have I limited their paths? Yikes, shadows of my mother and my brothers……is this me? These shadows know just what swords (words) to raise and where the Achilles heel is to aim for. Yes, my relationship with my sons is unusual. We have a soul agreement to bring in a template for the New Divine Human. That may sound presumptuous, crazy even, but it is our truth. Over and over I am being asked to stand in that truth without wavering. It is not a path for the faint of heart.

A feather cloud with a rainbow in its tail......magic

My path is unusual as there is nothing to point to that aligns with success as our old world defined it. If I would write the book, sell my art, establish a healing practice or do anything “normal” then some folks who love me could breath easier. Heck, I could breath easier!!! Some of those things may come but none have been my focus. I am called to be all of me, to be in tune with the earth and sing her song in my heart. To feel my brothers and sisters and weave my heartlight with theirs, seeing their beauty and light. Standing on this earth, moving with intention and love in every moment…..takes all I have. I awake filled with my Creator’s love and I strive to be the most beautiful vessel that I can be for Her/His love to flow through.

Wisteria trees with their fragrant magenta blossoms and the palm trees.....appreciating my old yard.

I have given most things in my life 150% effort. No halfway, half hearted attempts. It is no different now except it is internal and not visible to the old world. I am in the New Earth much of the time, clearing pathways, arranging flowers, decorating so that when others walk in, they will feel welcomed. This is the work that my soul calls me to. Are there times that I would like to quit? Yes! Are there times that I wish that I could live a “normal life”? Yes but that was ever the case even when I was living a so called normal life, I did not fit in with the crowd. We are all being called to live our truth. To live each moment with all of who we are. We are experiencing internal earthquakes as our shadows dance deep emotions into our cores. Can we love ourselves, forgive ourselves, embrace ourselves with compassion and kindness? Can we release these aspects of ourselves back to the light (call in the violet flame to transmute your anger, your sadness, your fears back to light, offer it as mulch for our Mother Earth) so as to allow room for our divinity to enter in? Yes, our souls and I Am presences are here, asking to be invited in. We have to clean out the shadows to make room. This is holy work. Honor yourself for having the courage to do it. Call in support from your angels, your guides, your friends. We need one another to affirm our beauty when we get tangled in our shadows and can’t find our way out.

I love balancing rocks, it helps me keep my balance these days.

Thank you for having the courage to do this work. You widen the pathway for others and you lighten our Mother’s load. It is spring cleaning time. We feel inspired to clean our houses, to clean our body through cleanses and fasts. Now it is time to clean our emotional and spiritual bodies as well. Put on some music and dance your way through it, stomp your way through it, cry your way through it. Feel it in every cell, thank it and let it go with love. Freedom is at hand and this is the way to it.

Catching My Breath as a Cycle Ends

Posted on April 26, 2012 by lovelylinda

The Rocky Mountains from the bus trip to Banff, Alberta

What a full week I have had. I left Kimberly, British Columbia and traveled to Banff on a Greyhound bus about a week ago. It was lovely to sit up high and have a clear view of the mountains. What a wonder they are. When I arrived I had a day and night to myself which was much needed. I laid in the hotel room and communed with the mountain framed in the sliding door. Heaven! Friends, new and old joined me the next day.

The stream running through Marble Canyon

One of my desires was met with a winter hike up Marble Canyon. The snow was deep and snowshoes would have been handy as we occasionally fell through the crust. The sky was a brillant blue against the blinding white snow. The stream ran through icy passages, the birds called, my legs ached from the climb, my lungs delighted in the crystalline air, my heart was soaring, alive with the elements.

The hole my foot made as I fell in up to my crotch, landing on my butt! Deep!

The next day found five of us traveling to Lake Louise for an activation of the energies there. We sat by the lake, sang, toned, played instruments and called in Archangel Michael and all the kingdoms. A red dragon joined us, speaking through me (an aspect of me is a red dragon!! I knew I was fiery but wow!) to congratulate us on our earth work. The five of us only came together at the last, two knew that they were to be at Lake Louise for this date but the other three of us came in at the end. I love how the universe lines everything up so beautifully.

one of the most beautiful spots on the earth

The next morning as I looked out at the mountain, the sun created a dragon on its side! The restaurant where we ate breakfast had flags of different countries decorating its ceiling.

He is a beauty!

Above us was the Welsh flag flying its red dragon! One of the women departed and later texted to say she stopped for lunch and the chef came out with a dragon tattoo on his arm! The dragons were making sure that we knew that they were still with us. I felt such a sense of completion. For some of my friends this was the final in a series of earth activations that they had been doing for the past couple of years.

Can you see the dragon lit up by the sun? I was so delighted with this gift!

It was the claw of the dragon that completed his picture and triggered the lighting of the grid across the USA. For me, it was just about the end of my almost three year trek around the USA and parts of Canada. Our group traveled on through Montana to Idaho which was home for two of them. Montana saw me feeling very emotional, recalling my days there with my young family 22 years ago, when we joined a community intent on bringing in the Golden Age. It ended in heartbreak as there were distortions in the organization but that desire never truly left. And now, here we are. Finally the energies are aligned and thanks to all the folks who have done so much work with the crystalline grid and raising the overall vibration of the planet with their prayers and intent, the Golden Age of Peace is at hand. Wonder of wonders. I feel so blessed to have a body to be here for the celebration that is being prepared. The earth is ascending! We are all ascending with her! What a time, what a gift.

How beautiful is our earth.

My seed bag is empty. I felt it and a dear friend confirmed it. I have planted all the seeds that were mine to plant. It is now time to sit back and watch them grow. My tears of gratitude water them, my heartlight shines on them for warmth and my soul rests in the knowing that they will sprout and flourish in the energies of these times.

I returned to California not knowing my next step. Anxiety and despair held me for a day or two, my car in the shop, not knowing where to lay my head. Vulnerable. That is how I felt. I surrendered to God all thoughts of figuring anything out. I felt flat, so finished, so tired. I did not care any longer what happened next. I had felt that I would be walking into my dreamland, my Shambhalla and instead, I was back where I started.

Beauty and more beauty

My former husband and sons graciously took me in. Friends called and held me in their loving embrace, seeing me and lighting my way out of that wilderness. I am so grateful that I have gifted myself with such beautiful souls throughout this journey. The players have changed as I have, yet there are some new, some old, who know my heart. I have decided to rent a small apartment here, commit to a six month lease, (you have no idea how big this is to me to commit!) and spend some time co-creating with my two sons. We all feel that there is something to be brought into fruition with our togetherness at this time. The relief I feel is enormous! I have passed many tests, driven down many roads and taken some interesting turns. I have been watched over with such love. Oh, how we are all loved! Such a grandness to it. I am filled with such gratitude.

My first time seeing Lake Louise in the winter with its ice and snow.

Emotional Cleansing

Posted on April 15, 2012 by lovelylinda

I am in love with the mountains! Still takes my breath away to look up and see them standing there so majestically.

We are here. The shift of the ages is occurring and we are in the emotional cleansing stage. Fear is being rooted out on every level. In every moment, we are being given a choice, do I see this through the eyes of love or the eyes of fear? Our egos are out of control, acting out as they know that their days of holding the reins are numbered. Thankfully, Henri (my ego) took early retirement a couple of years back and Sophia (my I AM presence) has been in the driver’s seat. Henri still chimes in from the back seat on occasion but for the most part, he is quiet, enjoying the ride as he has found that he can trust Sophia to take the right road. Trust and surrender are the bywords of these times.

A lovely bench placed just at the point where I needed a breather on my walk.

I did some sound healing with a friend yesterday as she moved through some of this emotional cleansing. The divine Mother came through me (I have to buy a recorder for these times) and brought such comfort and love. She pointed out that all the escape routes that our ego has told us are the path to safety, are now a trap. When we do not feel safe emotionally we may try the food route, soothing ourselves with sweets or breads or whatever has come to mean comfort. Perhaps our fears have said that alcohol and its numbing quality is the route to safety, making the world a bit less intense, seeing it through a haze. Maybe it is pot or cigarettes, reaching for a hit of nicotine or whatever is in marijuana to take the edge off of the feelings. Perhaps it is anger, throwing up a wall that attacks anyone or thing that dares enter in. Maybe it has been isolation, staying behind the walls of your home, forgoing contact with others. For some it is hoarding, holding on to things to bring the comfort. For others it is consuming any product that promises to stave off death and aging. Consuming to keep up with the Joneses is the conditioning we have all had…..if you have an IPhone, you are in with the in crowd and you are safe. Others find safety in maintaining a critical attitude towards anyone who looks or acts differently than themselves. Some use religion as their form of separation and as a prescription as to how to live so as to escape sin. We are creative beings and have created many escape routes. All of these routes are ways to cope with…….what exactly? What are we afraid of? Of feeling, of being present with what is coming up from our hearts. We are encouraged and taught to run from our feelings. Numb them, quiet them, drown them, stuff them, disown them. Yet, none of these coping mechanisms works. Why would we continue with them when they do not work?

Holding the camera out to capture me looking at me. Look in the mirror and love who looks back. Say, I love you over and over and you will be changed.

I was so surprised to discover that once I allowed myself to simply feel the emotion that was present, it changed. At the bottom of every emotion fully felt, peace will be found. This is truth!! We are not taught this as it is the path to our freedom. And if someone is interested in keeping you a slave, they are not going to point out your path to freedom. Instead, they will suggest all kinds of escape routes that lead to a dead end. That keeps you numb enough to continue to play their game. To continue to work to live rather than to truly live.

So, our fears are showing up in spades these days to be fully felt. They ask for acknowledgement and love, as does everything. You can thank them for how they served you in the past when they helped you survive in some way…..and then gently let them go. It is time. We are at a crossroads. We are all being given a choice. Do we hold onto our fears and live in the small box we have created for ourselves or do we dare, strip ourselves free and expand into the divine being that we are? If you are happy with your fears and coping mechanisms, then you will choose to stay. But if you believe that you deserve bliss and ecstasy as core emotions, then you will drop everything in order to move to this new land that is being offered.

See how the swiftly flowing waters melt the snow and ice, you have to let the love flow.....it melts all.

The divine Mother showed us how. She said that the only place of true safety is to be found in our hearts. Drop into the flames of your own heart and allow yourself to be bathed in its light and warmth. When an emotion comes up, you find yourself a bit unsettled and reaching for your usual fix, stop! Take a deep breath, drop into your heart space and feel. What is there? Feel the worry, feel the frustration, feel the I am not good enough, feel the anger, feel the sadness. Feel it all. Give it voice, moan, scream, yell, make deep guttural sounds. Let the emotion speak. Using your voice is a powerful healing tool. Sit with the feeling, without judging it as wrong or bad. Allow it to simply be. See yourself observing the emotion. What you will discover is that it will change. Nothing stays static. It will cry itself out, yell itself hoarse, eventually it will quiet. When it does, you will discover a river of peace that is always flowing through your heart, you may have never allowed yourself to come to its shores. But it is always there, waiting for you. This is the gold, this is what all the distractions and coping mechanisms can never provide. Seek this river. It is the path to your freedom.

A year after leaving my 25 year old marriage, I finally allowed myself to feel my grief fully. I was shocked to discover this river. I remember lying on my couch and being simply amazed after a storm of tears that seemed to have no end (could I cry for days??), to find myself sitting by this river of peace. I have forgotten it at times, fell into illusion again but it draws me back. Now I live on its banks, bathe in its waters, drink from its depths. It flows through me in ever widening pathways.

New age graffiti found on my walk by the river. Love it!

This is not the time to play small, to continue to live in the old way. We are being supported so fully by the Earth, our Sun, the Moon, the Angelics, our Galactic families to return to the wholeness of ourselves. We are multidimensional beings. We are gods and angels in human form. We are birthing the new human, blending our starry nature with our human one. Do not allow this opportunity to pass you by. Reach for your truth, put aside the coping mechanism of choice and go into the sanctity and safety of your heart. A new life of unimaginable joy awaits. I have glimpsed it and know that it is worth everything that you have to do to get there. As Archangel Michael told me a year or so ago, ” Everything that you desire is in front of you. Anything that you have experienced up to this point in your life, the greatest joy that you can recall, is but a shadow of what is to come. Do not look back!”

My heart is leading the way into this new light. It shines so bright. Be as the wise men of old and follow that star in the sky. It is leading you to the birth of your divine self. Let nothing stand in your way. Oh, what beauty you are!

Liquid Love Light

heart whispering, sound healing, writings, art

Category Archives: Uncategorized