Author Archives: lovelylinda

The Changing View

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fullsizeoutput_5080Fifth day of limited movement, I can stand or lie down……nothing in between. The weather has matched moments of my mood, brooding cloud cover, rain on and off, thunder and cool temperatures. This morning there is a shift, sunlight is streaming in between the clouds causing the temperature to hit 70 sometime today. I am moving a bit more freely. My low back has been my Achilles heel for decades. I had painted my granddaughter’s bedroom and then decided to try a furniture rearrangement that rearranged my back, not in a good way. It is hard to accept that at sixty-seven, such behavior may be behind me as my sons tell me. When I feel good, I believe I can do anything with this dear body of mine. This time, I will heed their advice and call them to do the heavy lifting. Or my daughter as she is a powerhouse of strength, having just competed  some wild half marathon with an obstacle course stationed throughout the steep up and down mountain run. Today she came to help me get my breakfast prepared and I watched her carefully walk back down the stairs. Whew, I see the results of running and at times, walk/crawling up the steep mountain sides. Not my idea of fun. It is so interesting what lights us all up. There is such a huge variety of options!

Poppies exploding next to the barn, such magical papery flowers.

Poppies exploding next to the barn, such magical papery flowers.

After feeling flat for so long, I had just begun to feel some enthusiasm to participate in life in a more physical way. It is still ahead, I can feel it. The vibrancy, the instant bursts of energy when I want them. Things are changing even as I am in this period. The muscle spasms are exhausting but I was laughing with my daughter that I was doing my own cross fit workout, a condensed version. In five minutes or so that it takes for me to get myself upright from lying down to then standing using a crutch as a support, I go through a wringer of spasms that has me sweating! Viola, mini workout done! I am able to be fully present in the pain and release fully in the next moment. In all my bouts with back pain, I have not experienced it with such lightness nor joy. I feel free in a new way.

My latest weekly haul fresh from the organic farm down the road. Such aliveness!

My latest weekly haul fresh from the organic farm down the road. Such aliveness!

Dear ones show up to care for me, to cook and offer assistance. My former hubby and his partner, cleaned my fridge, prepped my veggies, put them in easy to reach places, brought a bag of easy to eat supplies, washed my dishes and cleaned the kitchen. My sons, daughter and  daughter in love have cooked yummy meals and set my computer and books at hand. My granddaughter has provided comic relief with her antics and stories. Her sweet kisses and concern warm my heart. I am so open to receive and feel such gratitude for all that I am given. I send waves of this lovelight out to all who are suffering alone, who have no respite, no one to care. How blessed I am. May all be so cherished and loved.

Adapting

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I love when the buttercups appear.

I love when the buttercups appear.

The heat is on as is my wool undershirt, my favorite piece of clothing. It is like a security blanket, keeping my core warm. A couple of days ago it was ninety degrees and I was swimming, today it is rainy and cold with temperatures in the low fifties. My kids and grandkids are able to adapt to the weather with ease. I will have on two layers of wool and they will be laughing and running about in a t-shirt. I will turn my heat on and they will still go for a swim. I feel as sensitive as a delicate orchid. Extremes of any kind no longer fit into my life.

The black flies are in full force. Supposedly they appear from Mother’s Day until Father’s Day so only a couple of weeks remaining. You do not feel them bite you nor hardly see them but this year my skin has reacted by swelling around the bites. The bites itch like mad and target ears, neck and forehead. Though that said, my legs have myriad bites also. Everyone is so desperate for sun after the long winter that you are ready to bare as much skin as you can.  The prudent thing to do is to wear long sleeved pants and shirts during this time but the craving for sun on your skin is overwhelming. I remember being in England in May the year that I was twenty-one. As we strolled through the heaths around London, I was shocked to see office workers on their lunch hours, stripping off their tops to lie on the grass in their bras or bare chests. Pants and skirts were rolled high to let their legs feel the sun’s heat. It struck me how the need for sunlight is biological, like plants, turning to catch every ray.

The greens and a river of buttercups set my heart dancing.

The greens and a river of buttercups set my heart dancing.

My energy flows in sharp contrasts. A wave of exhaustion can make lifting my legs seem like a herculean task. It forces me to lie down until the next wave comes, that releases me to move. Dishes can pile up as the act of preparing food and eating can drain every ounce of energy. I may hop into bed with relief only to find myself still awake hours later. I tell myself, you are resting. That is good. Not enough energy to do anything with that time other than drift in a semi-dreamscape state. We will look back and wonder that we lived in the constraint of time. Schedules and planning will be things of the past that the young will not understand as they arrive knowing only the present moment. For now, alarms on my phone and writing notes to myself are what keep me tethered to arrangements in my life. Bright post its to catch my eye and jog my memory. Oh yes, today I am going to cook that chicken, pick up my grandson from school. I take out the chicken, set the alarm to give myself ten minutes grace to get ready and walk to the school. Sometimes I even have to label the alarms so as to know what I am to do. All part of the loosening, the moving into more fluidity, more flow.

Simple morning pleasures, coffee in my favorite mug and maple cinnamon sourdough bread. They mill the organic flour daily and bake this robust loaf. Yum!

Simple morning pleasures, coffee in my favorite mug and maple cinnamon sourdough bread. They mill the organic flour daily and bake this robust loaf. Yum!

Life becomes simpler as I attune to what needs doing on this level and set my intention to meet those requirements, allowing myself to flow the remainder of time. My grandkids are a part of that when they come to play. Most often it is one on one as they crave my sole attention and the five year age gap is large when you are two and seven. I allow them each to direct the play.  They both have rich imaginations so we travel on their stories into new lands. We have cozy reading books time and active times with crafts and scarves and music. I marvel at their beautiful hearts and sweet natures.

Flowers and children keep my flame blazing as all shifts about us. The sun is streaming in through a filter of smoke drifting down from fires in Nova Scotia. We all affect one another in ways large and small. Let’s shine our light through the dimness and celebrate as our hearts feel the love that flows freely.

 

 

 

 

 

Changes Are Happening

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Summer has arrived and we are enjoying the lakes.

Summer has arrived and we are enjoying the lakes.

As we roll on in this ascension journey.  I enjoy noticing changes that I am experiencing. There is a loosening of energies around our hearts. I realized that the tightening and uncomfortableness that I had felt around a certain person, had vanished. Instead I found an authentic warmth and caring fill my heart. Wow, I like this! I had been able to see why the person triggered me, I had addressed the issue in my heart, yet the restrain remained. I felt such freedom when it lifted. A small thing perhaps, yet if everyone is experiencing this, we will soon be living in a different world. A kinder, gentler, more compassionate world.

I have long prayed that our hearts would attune to a new frequency. I could visualize and sense how the magnetics of our hearts could shift. That which was held close in the old energies, is loosening and releasing. The pure love that our I AM presence knows and lives in, is now available. We can consciously tune in to this new channel of love. It is available to all. I sense that even if folks desire to hold onto resentments and old grudges, it will no longer be possible. The magnetics have changed and the old will simply melt away. Hallelujah!

We can find the view that we desire and bring it into focus.

We can find the view that we desire and bring it into focus.

More energy feels available which feels good. It flows in like a torrent and then suddenly stops. I am then moved to lie down and allow my system rest. It changes daily so I am getting better at moving with the flow and not fighting it when the flow ceases. It is training us to be more present, to allow the energy to guide us. It will become the new normal as we let go of planning and move out of time constraints more and more.  This feels delicious to me. My mind no longer can hold much in the way of plans. I have to set alarms and write notes to myself. I am in a moment and what I intended even five minutes before, can simply disappear. There are some bumps on the road as we navigate this. We have to be kind with ourselves and one another. We are in a new land and the old rules no longer apply. We are discovering how to move, like toddlers finding their ability to walk. We stumble about and may crash into things or people and it feels awkward as well as exciting!

My son helped me set up this new site as my credit card changed which meant the old domain was not automatically renewed. I had to buy a new domain and have him figure it all out for me so that I can write again. I felt a momentary anguish at losing liquidlovelight.com which I had used for more than a decade but it was time for a new frequency. So, here it is. Liquidlovelight.net will now hold my musings. I hope that you will join me on my journey.

A house falling apart, weeds taking over....yet this one brilliant tulip appears!

A house falling apart, weeds taking over….yet this one brilliant tulip appears!

There was a period of silence, where I was not inspired to write. Now there is a new energy propelling me forward and the writing comes easily. It is time to share and shine our lights for all of those newly awakening. It is a joy to feel so many joining our ranks to turn this world around. I am so grateful for each one of you and all the hearts aflame with love.

 

Always Learning

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Snow folks that my granddaughter and her mom made on the back steps.

Snow folks that my granddaughter and her mom made on the back steps.

There had been a disagreement brewing with one dear to me. My heart was sore with the feelings of anger and resentment. I ended a call quickly, not sure how to continue. How to maintain a boundary and yet be the love? I breathed in and felt a loosening. I expanded it and allowed the love that is true to flow through me. I wanted an apology, an acknowledgement of wrong doing. It was not to come. How to sit with that? All of this was mine to do. I could continue to feel the emotions like a weight on my shoulders or ? Again, the knowing that this was mine to do. It was not dependent on the actions of another. I realized that it is not my  job to ensure that someone “gets it”. I am not responsible for the way that others walk this life. I do not have to teach them a lesson. I do not have to make them understand. I am responsible for myself and how I walk my love in this world. Amazing to think that I know what is best for anyone. How long have I carried this sense of responsibility? Too long. It is time to let it go.

I had a choice. I sat and allowed the lovelight to infill that area of pain. It slowly began to warm that part of my heart with its glow. Deep sigh. I picked up the phone and made the call expressing only love. There remains differing views of the situations. It matters not. I can choose my boundaries, choose what feels lighter, express my truth and then let it go.

Later, a dear friend called and expressed that she had struggled with the same emotions that morning. We were able to laugh and feel the lightness as we moved through the heavyheartedness. We acknowledged that we are getting better at this. We feel it all and let it be present until it washes away like a wave.

fullsizeoutput_4f2aIn the afternoon, a wave of loneliness came over me. I took myself out for a walk, intending to go to a nearby woods. I saw that the trails were closed due to deer hunting season. Ah….I had forgotten that. My bright orange vest was back home, it is an essential part of the wardrobe during hunting season to make sure that you are seen. I ended up on a different walk about the common, taking in the views. The sky was alive with patterned clouds as it decided whether to drop snow or rain.

I love the sweet face that he made on this little being.

I love the sweet face that he made on this little being.

I went home and cleaned out my pantry, finally putting away groceries that had been sitting there awaiting space. I emptied my cupboards and ended up with a box of give away dishes and implements. It felt good, clearing in the physical can often clear our heads. I then settled into making more fairy wands to sell at my first craft fair this coming weekend. I imagined the children dancing with them and laughing. My grandson made two and zoomed around flying them up and down. He is so creative, I love seeing what he comes up with. I am grateful for the time with my two little ones. They keep me laughing and experiencing joy. May we all have that child inside, lit up. Cherish yourself as we cherish one another.

 

The Darkness Deepens As the Season Changes

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A recent trip to Buffalo, New York brought me new sights and wonders.

A recent trip to Buffalo, New York brought me new sights and wonders.

As we head towards the Winter Solstice here in the north, my body is shivering as the temperatures drop and darkness descends just after four p.m. There is a slight panic as the cold air flows in, the nights drop below freezing and I am greeted with frosty mornings. I have upgraded to plastic covered window inserts to stop the frost from forming inside my place. I am ordering battery operated candles to create a “hearth”. I miss having a wood stove to watch the flames dancing but am grateful for my heater that keeps me comfortable. I am adding more twinkle lights and look forward to getting my Christmas tree in a couple of weeks and stringing multicolored lights. I picked out my tree as I hiked around our family property the other day. My grandson loves marking and creating trails with his grandfather. He and I looked for, found and marked our Christmas trees. Best to do this before the snow falls so we get a good look at our choices. There are hundreds to choose from so it takes time. We mark our favorites and then go back and feel into the one that wants to come home with us, thanking all of them for their willingness to cut short their outdoor life to blaze light indoors and warm our hearts.

A last blaze of color as autumn exits.

A last blaze of color as autumn exits.

There is a huge hickory tree on the top of the hill of the property. We recently had a sad event in our family and needed a place to bury this sadness in a ceremonial way. I saw the tree in my mind’s eye. It told me that it would and could hold “all the sadness and joy of the family”. Its message brought tears to my eyes. We will include a candle lit procession to it on the Solstice, to sing our love and joy with it. All of nature is desirous of being part of our journey. It supports us and thrives on our attention, just as we thrive on attention. It is so easy to send the plant and animal kingdom, the fairy and deva realms, our love. I forget this at times. The hemlock came in to remind me that I can turn to these nature spirits for support. How wondrous this is!

The energies of this time, find me depleted by mid-afternoon. I feel that every particle of my being has been used up. Often my day begins at three or four a.m. so as the darkness descends so early by the clock, my body reads it as night time and is ready for sleep. I am grateful for how I show up each day. I thank my body for doing its part as it has felt exhausting to simply be in these energetic streams. The top of my head was sore to the touch for a few days as I could feel the energy pouring through like a waterfall. Now, I sense a bit of a breather.

One of my daily hearts that occur in random ways. This was a hair on the tub, reminding me how I am loved and cherished.

One of my daily hearts that occur in random ways. This was a hair on the tub, reminding me how I am loved and cherished.

The future is misty and I cannot make plans. I feel the call to deepen into this darkness and rest. I am savoring the family connections and letting go of what is not here. I know this is where I am to be for now. Spring holds movement and energy. I see a mass migration as we will feel a pull to our place on the earth. The place where our body and hearts dance in resonance with our Mother Earth. The time of being lone sentinels will come to an end and we will begin to gather in our love pods with our tribe. Oh, I have held this vision for so long. What rejoicing there will be when we can live it.

For now, there is gratitude for what is. Acceptance for all that shows up. Taking it all in and knowing that every shade of darkness can be transformed into the lovelight that is true. A friend’s son is going through a heightened time with his mental illness symptoms. I know his soul from lifetimes as llamas in the Himalayan mountains. I have felt drawn to dropping in a few times a day to sit with him in the core of the mountain. We are both in our burnt orange robes, sitting before a fire. We tend it with our hearts. Its effects flow out to the world. I know that I am there all the time, sending liquid lovelight. I am pulled there throughout the day, for moments, to consciously sit with him and know him as the wondrous being that he is. These times are a challenge for us all, but especially for those with mental illness. They are the sensitives who feel it all so profoundly. May all beings be supported and loved as we move to embodying our highest aspects here on earth.

Happy Equinox

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0Oh my, we are here. The autumn equinox. The balance point between the light and the dark. Here in Northern Vermont, the mornings are now dark and night grows closer each day. This morning it was thunder and lightening that woke me with flashes of brilliant light. I am watching out my second floor window to see my grandson walking to school. There is a K-2nd grade little community school a couple of doors down from my place. I run out each morning to give him a hug and kiss to start him on his day. A treat for both of us. It has been a big adjustment for my daughter and I as there is so much programming being instilled in our little ones from the beginning. I met the principal yesterday and shared some of my concerns. Fortunately it is a small school so parents voices can be heard, though we seem to be in the minority. I am dreaming of the love pods and the new ways that our children can grow and thrive. The old feels so heavy and wrong. My grandson is articulate and able to discuss all that he sees and feels.  We are able to give him a different perspective on issues so he begins to hone his own discernment. His personality is sunny and kind so the teachers love him and want him to thrive. We are gently assisting his teacher to let go of old methods (time outs?!) and embrace the light in each child. As an educator, I felt disheartened to see a young teacher following so many old time methods. Ah……I am beyond ready for a new world.

fullsizeoutput_4ed5Balance…..I feel the tug to help at the school, to take a more active role. Then I go back to my highest purpose and feel into that. Sixteen years ago I left the educational system, burnt out from the efforts of trying to make changes. I knew that I would not return to my role as teacher until the new ways came in. I was blessed to homeschool my grandson last year and teach him to read as well as stretch his wonderful imagination. His favorite activity to do with his grandpa and me, is imaginative play. With me, it is bunny land, with his grandpa it is a bit wilder and tougher in rat land. He leads us both on merry adventures.

We stand on the cusp of the new. It is a wobbly place to be as there is nothing to ground to or hold to. We are surrendering all of the past and walking into an unknown future. Our hearts feel the immensity of it. We know that we have untapped creator abilities awaiting us. Yet, we have no direction manuals, no how to’s. We can only breathe in the light in this space and radiate it outward to our world.

The trees are beginning to turn here as the cold flows in. Beauty

The trees are beginning to turn here as the cold flows in. Beauty

Each day is a balancing act of trusting in ourselves and the greater plan while walking in the mud of the old decaying systems. Never have we had to balance the light and the dark so clearly. Today, I am honoring this seasonal balance point. I am allowing myself to feel all the heaviness as well as the lightness. All is transformed in my heart with love. More and more, it is easier to tap into the love that is the essence of all things. May we all embody this balance point today and know ourselves as blessed.

 

A Quiet Sunday

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IMG_20220904_114305701Tomatoes are bubbling away on the stove as the produce of the summer overflows gardens. Yesterday I made a double batch of zucchini carrot muffins as once you grate one of the big boys, you have to do something with it. Carrots are also in abundant supply. We live in a food rich culture during the spring and summer. It takes focused attention at this time of year to cook it, can it, bake it, or freeze it.

The nights are beginning to chill, dropping as low as the forties while the days fluctuate between high sixties and mid-eighties. The sun is thinner yet can be powerfully piercing, drawing sweat and a desire to swim. I love swimming on as many days as I can. Now, I can manage the first time in but find that I chill and it is more difficult to say yes to my grandson’s urging to take a second dip. It feels good to dry off and slip on my light wool layer that warms me.

One of my daily hearts that show up in such variety. I am loved!

One of my daily hearts that show up in such variety. I am loved!

Today I am resting after a double party yesterday. My grandson turned seven and we had a party at the homestead with food and games in the afternoon. That was followed by an adult party. There was lots of food, music and a fire blazing. The children who stayed on with their parents, chose huge sticks, double their heights, and whittled the tips for their marshmallow roasting. No chance of getting burned by the fire, though we all had to watch out for the way that they wielded them.

The new cider press was set up for action and folks brought their apples to press. It takes some energy to turn the wheel. The kids loved trying their hand at this. This year has been a bounteous year for apples so lots of delicious cider was made.

fullsizeoutput_4ec1I have a couple of sewing projects in front of me. One is a pair of linen pants for my youngest son’s birthday this week. Trying to do french seams and inseam pockets has me ripping out stitches a few times. I have laid in bed visualizing how I will tackle the pockets again…..I checked, he really wants pockets…so perhaps tomorrow I will feel clear enough to make it happen. I did get a new apron made for my daughter’s new business venture of providing an organic dinner each week to the local community. The first week was a success and I had offers to sell more aprons. I am enjoying sewing for myself, my family and friends and is plenty for me.

Time to lie on the couch and watch a movie. A bit of rain falling outside and cool enough to wear a sweater. Ah…right now this is enough.

 

Resting

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Nature's version of stain glass on the wings.

Nature’s version of stain glass on the wings.

My grandson found a monarch caterpillar and fed it fresh milkweed leaves each day. It eventually turned into a pupa hanging itself from the top of the container. We were able to share the joy as the butterfly emerged. It slowly crawled onto a flower stem and sat, resting as its wings dried out. It was a long and tedious stage for a six year old boy. We eventually lost interest and went about our play, only to return later to discover that the butterfly had dried its wings and taken flight.

This resting stage felt so familiar to me. It is not a flashy stage, rather boring to watch and to live at times. We have emerged from the mushiness of the cocoon but have not yet learned how to navigate with our wings. The butterfly had two sets of wings, folded together. It took time for them to dry and be useful as navigating devices. We, too, have wings that will allow us freedom unheard of when we were simply crawling along the ground. Teleportation will be a reality before long. Our thoughts will take us places as our hearts create a new reality.

As the butterfly tentatively opened and closed its wings, it reminded me of how we are learning to open our hearts in new ways. To flex our heart muscles in the truth of love, without closing from any perceived hurts or upsets. We are learning to live love, to take all that flows into our worlds and transform it with a beat of our hearts, into lovelight. This liquid lovelight streams forth and provides the energy that allows us to lift off and create new worlds.

Tentatively opening its wings.

Tentatively opening its wings.

When we went back to check on the butterfly, as a rain storm was coming, we were relieved to discover that it had taken flight. We wondered how butterflies, with their fragile wings, survived in rainstorms which can move in with such ferocious energy. We trusted that it would survive and wished it well.

I wish us all well in this resting stage. There is a surge of newness flowing in, creative energy seeking expression. Yet, we need to honor this resting stage as our wings are not ready to carry us. We can sit and look about, seeing life from a new perspective, slowly opening our hearts to sing a new song. All is well and more delights than we have imagined, await us.

 

Always Learning

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The lovely pond that I cooled off in yesterday.

Before I fall asleep at night, I often play a movie of the day, allowing myself to show me anything that needs attention. The other night, two incidents stood out. I had had the family over for pizza and a cake I made. I watched myself grab my 18 month old granddaughter and hug her. I did not ask her if she wanted to be cuddled, which is my normal way of interacting with her and any child. I felt the disrespect in that moment as none of us want to be grabbed without our permission. Next, I saw how I turned to my former hubby and held my granddaughter out, asking if she wanted to go to him. She likes him but does not spend as much time with him as with me. Her comfort level is not the same. I felt into this, I wanted him to experience her and desire to spend more time with her. He spent loads of time with our first grandchild, and still does. This happened as our daughter lived away and so we were with him lots when he visited or we did. Then she divorced and lived with one of us for years so we were a daily part of his life from two years on. I realized that my desire for the interaction between the two of them, was a subtle form of pressure on both. I do not want to ever put that pressure on a child to override their own knowing of what to go towards and what to pull away from. Yet, I did just that with my actions.

Lots of granite here which looks so lovely with the flowers.

Lots of granite here which looks so lovely with the flowers.

I am grateful for my reflection and knowing of what is the path of love. I shared this with my son and daughter in love and asked for their forgiveness. They graciously gave it and shared that sometimes they had that feeling, of wanting folks to know the wonder of their child and trying to foster a relationship.

How wonderful that we can catch ourselves in these actions and correct our course. I want to be a more conscious grandma than I was as a mother. There are so many more resources these days. I love Janet Lansbury and her work as well as her mentor, Magda Gerber. I gift new parents their books. Your Self-Confident Baby by Magda Gerber is a wonderful starter for new parents. Janet’s book, No Bad Kids is wonderful for the toddler years.

The green passages that are part of my drives.

The green passages that are part of my drives.

May these angels who are coming in to the earth now, be blessed with conscious parents who can assist them to be the love that they are. They need our protection and care. I am grateful that I can offer the love that I am to them. I am grateful to being open to learn and grow with them and my own adult children. Each generation builds on the one before. May love be all that we know.

I do not post photos of my kids or grandbabies as a form of protection. As much as I would love to share their images, I am discerning of when and whom to share with.

Restless

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A favorite spot outside the library to sit and muse.

A favorite spot outside the library to sit and muse.

We are IN the time of transformation. Not approaching it, nor feeling complete with it…..simply in it. It looks different for all of us. For me it is hot flashes surging, a need for bodily comfort, exhaustion, frustration, bouts of creativity then flatness.

Restlessness is the biggest sign to me that I am about to make a big shift. I look at photos of views from around the world. Water and mountains does something to my soul. I yearn for a wide vista that showcases these two elements to dream in and with. I feel confined in my upstairs apartment though I can walk into nature and drive five or ten minutes to a little lake or pond. The energy is not often there to act on my yearnings. I do make it out to swim most days that the sun shines warmly, as that nourishes me.

This wild flower grew about eight feet tall and then bent over, making a fairy arch for me to walk under as I enter my apartment.

This wild flower grew about eight feet tall and then bent over, making a fairy arch for me to walk under as I enter my apartment.

I liken myself to a puppet on strings. I animate myself for the grandkids, perking up with smiles and patience and joy. Once my day of care is done, I lie flat, my strings slack on the ground. I read to occupy my mind or take deep naps. Nights are short so the fatigue is present. I finally did my dishes after three days of piling things up for later. It takes all that I have to show up for the kids and my body’s needs. Chocolate is a dear companion. As well as ice cream from the village store across the street. I watch the old farmers stop in for their morning coffee and roll, later they come back for ice cream cones. Often they have their grandkids or their dogs. Yes, the dogs are served ice cream cones too. There are a number of regulars. The young girl who serves the ice cream sits down by them and makes them eat it in four bites instead of just one. Life is full of hard work here in Northern Vermont. Winter is an ever present awareness so summer is a time of getting things done.

I love the clouds.

I love the clouds.

At the recent Old Home Day, I was browsing the book sale. A farmer and I started chatting. He said that he was gathering a few for the winter. He said he could not understand how anyone had time to read in the summer. He was flat out getting crops in and wood split and house and barn repairs done. He said that winter was his reading time in the evenings when the dark enters at 4 pm and stays late in the mornings.

The restlessness comes over me and yet, I do not get in my car and drive off like I have in the past. I recognize that I am still in need of this cocoon about me. My spirit is ready for a bigger, more magical life but my body needs comfort. I need the ease of clothes in the closet to choose from, the food in the fridge, the twinkle lights and my sewing machine. When I have a couple of days in a row of rest each week, then I sew as a form of creativity and meditation. I just finished making myself a duvet cover out of soft white linen. It pleases me immensely to look at it and was a dream to sleep under last night. I had removed my down comforter for the summer but now the night time temperatures have dipped into the forties and I found myself shivering at 3 a.m. So, the lighter down comforter is back and snugged inside its new cover. Joy! It is the little things.

Hearts continue to show up and let me know how I am loved.

Hearts continue to show up and let me know how I am loved.

I am dreaming this new world into being. That is what we can do in the moments. Be the love, feel it, dream it. Let our imaginations flow with the wonders that we know, deep in our hearts, are ours to create. I am choosing to meet this restlessness with an inner joy. The heartbeat of excitement, anticipation, wonder. I know that this swirling energy will settle and we will be amazed at what appears. I am grateful to my body for its steadfastness on this journey. She is a wonder being and I hold her in love. It has not been easy.

Grandchild about to arrive so time to get dressed and be the Nana that I am.